Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Sleepin' In Sunday

For me sleepin' in means not seeing the morning which was what I did today. My body is so rested I'm almost floppy. So anyway since I now have a stockpile, small that it may be, of books to read I'm trying to finish my Feist book so I can move on. After finishing off a good chunk today I headed over to Michael's to find some odds and ends to have the finishing touches on this year's costume. The MT across the hall invited me to her Halloween party again this year and I need something for the office. I'm on the fence about another Halloween party to go to. So anyway I'll use my Jedi robe from last year and I made a wizard's hat for myself in the Gandalf fashion. I'm bouncing back and forth on a wand or a staff. I think I'm leaning more to the staff so I'll have to stop by the hardware store to pick up some wood.

Eric had left me a message on my phone this morning, but when I called back their phone was turned off and all I could do is leave a message like usual. I'll have to contact my ex tomorrow to remedy this situation. Once a week is not working especially when we are leaving messages for each other.

I'm hoping pizza is busy tonight. One for the money, but two so it goes fast.

Lazy Day

Several days of good sleep has left me very relaxed. It's a nice feeling. After sleeping in this morning I had a late morning networking event. I wasn't expecting much, but if I got anything out of it I would be happy. The woman running it is new to the health and wellness field and her networking skills are light. I nudged when necessary to make it run smoothly, but since I knew it would never get off the ground I didn't put much energy into it. Only 3 other showed up and since they were all selling different supplements for different companies it was like selling ice to Eskimos. I'm happy to say they did not put their sights on me which is usually the case. I knew all their products and I hated the taste or I was allergic to it. It was nice to meet them and I may have gotten a new patient or 2 out of them so that may be good. The lady running it was young and attractive, but not my type which I still find weird to say. When I was young everyone was my type.

German girl is still painting a very nice picture of her friend Nancy. I do trust her judgement, but I don't want to make the drive and like CinnKitty said it will be the guy doing it. I've done it in the past and I don't want to do it in the future. If I keep saying it I have the best chances of it not happening so bear with me.

I was looking forward to going down to the beach for the 34th annual Neptune Festival, but I have to admit I really wasn't in the mood when today came. I did still drive on down, but it was right during the parade which made traffic a complete mess so I turned right around and left.

So I ended up at my Starbucks still with a coupon for free drinks if someone will come with me. I walk in today and the place was pretty empty till after I ordered. I think I might have to hang out outside till someone approaches. Anyway I finally was able to sit down and get my whole marketing campaign for increasing people's posture and slimming the midsection.

The rest of the day was spent at the library and watching some DVD's. I did some research for a costume for Halloween. I think I'll use my Jedi robe from last year and get a staff and goes as a wizard. Pretty simple and works for me.

Left another message for Eric and if no response by tomorrow I'll call my ex Monday.

My Reader

WTF! My beautiful Google Reader is screwing me over. It's slow today in the office and I was just thinking I haven't seen alerts from SWF42 and a few others in many a day. So I hit my link to a few blogs and lo and behold there are plenty of new entries I've been missing out on. Can I trust my reader anymore to keep me updated?

Trip the Line Fantastic

You want to see some strange shit just go to the top of your blog and hit the next blog button. Now I have taken the stroll through many people's blogs and I have found some fun stuff and some stuff just not for me. However you hit the next blog button is like taking an acid trip even though I wouldn't know. Actually most everything I saw was in a different language, everything was bizarre and people never complain about how much advertising is on your site. Can I say WOW.

Another funky thing I found was this Gummy rat while I was in the Dollar store. I figured with the chocolate eyeballs they would be perfect for Halloween candy on the desk. Now I just need to get someone to try it.


It was nice to relax at home last night. I actually had TV on. I mean I usually watch DVD's, but I have to turn the VCR on to actually watch normal TV and I haven't since May when all new episodes ended. It was weird to watch.

I visited my Mom this morning not knowing how she would be. She was in good spirits. Her right hand wasn't that swollen. She could lift the arm, but she couldn't move her fingers. I know she had rehab this morning so we will see how it goes. Mostly she wanted to know what all the commotion had been about.

I left word for Eric last night, but got no response. We'll see how it goes over the next few days.

Still a little bit bothered with CPA girl. Well not her really just the circumstances. I know if you scratch me I'm a rebel underneath. I hate being helpless and this relationship has left the tinge of that in my mouth. We both liked each other, same core beliefs, but chemistry stopped it. Something I don't have control over. If she didn't like me that would be one thing, but this is a hard pill to swallow. The other thing I have been thinking about is that I grew up with very little so anything above that I'm happy with which isn't always the best. A dime is better than a nickel, but it still isn't much. With April and CPA Girl I knew there was a chemistry problem, but I continued. I know why I was still enjoying myself with them. Since I separated from me ex I have never been the one to break it off. I just wonder if I will know when to.

An Incident

My Mom's place called my today to ask me what was the take on her right arm. Today she was unable to lift it and no one else there remembered her having that problem. Since they know I'm a doctor and visit often they wanted to see if I noticed anything. I told them she was okay the last time I saw her. So we figured she had an incident. A nice way to say it. The last one she had I was the one to notice it happening. So they are working her up. We talked about her flat affect which I said had been that way since the anti depressant started which is the opposite of what should happen. I stated that I hadn't heard that she was weepy and crying like she use to. So it's half of this and half of that. Mom says she's happy so what's to do. Most people believe that signing the DNR (do not resuscitate) order was hard, but when you live with it and slowly see the person being nickeled and dimed down the decision becomes very easy.

On the other hand my calls with Eric have dropped off the face of the earth. Whether my ex's time is being consumed with her father's care or not is irrelevant to me. Eric is a totally different subject. So that is my next hurdle to cross.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Concerts I’ve Seen

1. Crosby, Stills, & Nash – my first concert
2. Madonna

3. Eric Clapton & Elton John
4. Elton John & Billy Joel
5. Hootie & the Blowfish – Eric’s first concert
6. Fleetwood Mac / Squeeze
7. Cyndi Lauper
8. Blondie / B52’s
9. Alanis Morrisette – closed session for only 100 people
10. Joe Cocker / Steve Winwood
11. Shania Twain
12. Chicago / Huey Lewis
13. Stevie Nicks

Dating Decisions

German girl has been trying to set me up with many of the single women she knows. The problem is that she lives an hour away through the tunnel which always has traffic. I remember when I was dating my ex and it was 45 minutes away without traffic which only happened when I use to go home at 6 in the morning. I made a promise then that I was not doing this long drive anymore. I can't be spontaneous. "Hey let's get together. I'll be over in an hour." Nor do I know where to take anyone or do anything in the area. On the other side I do trust German girls judgement. I'll see how I feel.


OMG! I would have paid good money this morning for more sleep. However I had a early morning patient and had to crawl out of bed. Crap I've been up almost 2 hours and I still can't think straight which is not good since I have a business meeting in about an hour.

Something TJ said to me the other day has been popping in my head. He was asking about CPA girl and I told him we weren't together. He said well at least she could say she dated a doctor. In the business world I have to remember I am a doctor and most people want to do business with me. However I don't need to do business with everyone. Usually I am inundated by different alternative health people wanting to work together. What I need to be is more choosy. I don't have the time and energy to be nice to everyone and listen to their sales pitch. Just like dating it needs to be a good fit.

Dancing Decisions

Before I went to salsa tonight I was thinking of giving up my Thursday salsa just for some rest. However I was able to get to salsa tonight early and hang with everyone. I realized a few things. Mondays and Tuesdays I know people and I'm friendly to them and they to me. I know people on Thursday, but we are not tight. The biggest thing is that Thursday's salsa on the 1 is screwing me up for the rest of the week. My foot step is a little off or I change styles by accident. Thursday's is nice for meeting people, but for dancing it is hurting more than helping.

The rest of the night. Well Glasses at salsa tonight likes me. I figured that when she moved from one end of the group to sit next to me. Then she kept touching me throughout the conversation. The problem is I don't feel any chemistry for her. I'm better with it than I use to be. In the past if someone liked me It instantly put 2 stars in your corner, but that it's down to 1 now a days.

I don't have any good pizza stories today, but since it was slow all the drivers were sharing. Ed had the best. When he use to work another store down on the bay where they have all the cheap motels. He said he delivered to one and this guy opened the door. He told Ed to what a minute. So he did. Well about 2 minutes go by. Then the guy comes back stark naked and says, "what do you think?" Ed said he told the guy all he saw was a small dick attached to an idiot. LMAO.

TMI Tuesday

1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school? You're kidding right? Marriage? Elementary school. I didn't start thinking about it till I was in my 20's much to my ex's chagrin.

2. Which Muppet is your favorite? Why? I liked the aliens. You know the ones that made all the sounds. Mooo. Nope ... nope ... nope. I can still do the whole bit if you like.

3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge] That thought just made me celibate for a few years now. Thanks.

4. How did you first find the g-spot? I have a g-spot? Why didn't anyone tell me. Well at least it gives me something to do before pizza tonight.

5. What is the best costume you've ever worn? biker. Studded leather, tattoos up and down my arms people were blown away by it.

Bonus (as in optional):Does pornography liberate or deteriorate society? I don't think pornography is a bad thing. I do think some people use it as a crutch to deal with loneliness and believe it is real life. All depends on how you use it.

Dating Thoughts

One thing I realized with this last round of dating over is boy I've changed. Growing up and into my early dating life if there was a problem I hit the eject button and I was out of there. I guess that was one thing I learned in my marriage. Sticking it out. I knew there was something missing between me and CPA girl, but I was in no rush so I would see how far it would go. Also I was enjoying myself. This came up when someone asked me if I could be friends with her. In the future I could do it, but not now. The feelings are to fresh and strong.

The other thing I realized is that early dating was "I hope she likes me, make sure to do everything right," etc. Now it's like I like that, don't like that, can't live with that. Nice to see myself coming from a healthier place.

Salsa & the Cow Bell

You know it's never good when you walk in a room and it's empty. Well that's the way I felt when I walked in to 7's tonight. I know people usually come late, but come on now. At least our instructor and someone else showed up when I was in the bathroom. I was happy to dance with a woman that had more experience than me. Most everyone wants to dance up so it is hard sometimes. So I was finally able to practice some intermediate moves. Some went smooth others still need some sanding down, but no blood was spilled or limbs broken. I like my classes since I'm starting to know everyone so it's just a bunch of friends. I meant to ask why there are so few women that dance salsa at least in our area. I did get to ask how the hell to you tell the beat cause I'm completely clueless. Quita said it was usually hard with so many instruments, but you could tell by the cowbell. Now I nearly loss it. All I could think of was the cowbell skit from SNL. So after about a minute of suppressing my laughter I was able to hear what she was talking about. It will take me a while to get it, but it's more work in progress.

Day without End

A slow day to begin a slow week. Yuck! I did all my paperwork that I needed to get done, got 2 referrals for friends, set up 2 presentations, and cleaned the office. However a patient cancelled and the other push her appointment back to later. So it is the endless hours which I find myself trying to occupy my time.

Here is my fun picture of the weekend. I tried to set my cruise control so I wouldn't speed, but there was no 1/2 on the control. So I pushed my luck and went 13. Yeah that's me the daredevil.

The funny events of my day would be actually there both Starbucks related. The first is when I was leaving this morning this married woman is just staring at my groin as I'm walking out. I didn't realize to I was right in front of her or I would have made a comment. The other is since they love me at Starbucks they gave me a coupon that if I bring someone with me we both get free drinks. Everyone I know is suddenly busy. WTF! People usually kill for this stuff now I'm offering a free drink and I can't get anyone. I have to Friday to use it. I might have to use this guys technique from when I worked in the theater. He never saw a movie alone. He always bought 2 tickets and asked a woman to join him.

The Sounds of Silence

I wasn't expecting it so I wasn't surprised to not hear from CPA Girl. Last week I was talking with German Girl about her and I had stated that it was weird. That I really like her, she was very attractive, and we had so many core beliefs in common. However there always seemed to be something missing when we talked. Like when you put a puzzle together and there is a piece missing. I didn't know what to think of it, but I was enjoying myself and figured it would work out for the best at some point (whatever that would be). So I was amazed when ACG said that CPA girl probably did like me, but something was probably missing for her and she didn't know how to tell a nice guy it wasn't working out. Anyway since this is the last post of her. Here is a pic of Anastasia from the Salsa site. She looks a lot younger here though.
Pizza was a hell of a lot better tonight than it was last night. I worked half the hours, but made the same amount in tips. Besides that is was just a nice lazy day. I slept late, relaxed, read, and enjoyed some shows on DVD.

Blog Jonesing

I haven't blogged all day. Weird, very weird. I think I'm starting to go through withdrawal. At least no bugs are crawling over me. Although I walked through one huge ass spider web tonight. I then used the pizza boxes to finish hacking my way through. The spider was up in the corner so I was okay with it. I was even happier when Mr. Rich SOB gave me a freakin' dollar tip. Cheap bastard. However that seemed to be way the night went. Most people gave me spare change. "Oh I'm sorry I don't have any money." Then what the fuck are you ordering pizza for? On a bizarre note I did delivery a $37 pizza tonight. Yeah that was my reaction too. I was looking for a few more pies, desserts, sodas, cocaine in the cheese, something. It was just and extra large with everything on it and then some. The guy seemed okay with it. Please shoot me if I ever freakin' pay $37 for one freakin' pie. Let me see all the guys were wearing pants tonight. One woman might have been in her panties. She had one of those longish t-shirts on. It wasn't long enough to cover any shorts. So I'm not quite sure what she was wearing.

Other than that it was a quiet day. I got to relax after the gym which was a change from working the whole day. I did read a great article about another chiropractor. He got to a point where he got all his patients well and then was like "no what?" That's what I've been feeling like for a while. I have a great batch of patients now. They follow what they should do and they are staying healthy which is great, but it doesn't pay my bills. I would change how I treat since I don't want to make them depend on me since that isn't healthy. So I think I will add two new avenues of treatment in the office that people are looking for. Nutrition and weight loss. Most people do both of them in unhealthy ways and there is easy and natural ways to handle them. So that will be my work for the next few days.

It was interesting I was watching Two & Half Men today and I was like I'm glad I didn't have all that divorce drama. I really had to smack myself for saying that since it was far, far from the truth. I guess it has been 3 years now and since my ex stole all our money it was never about money. Only our son. However it did make me happy that it is all over.

What's Happening?

Not much here. It was a quiet day which was a nice change. After the gym this morning I needed to get a new ink cartridge refilled. They were backed up and I didn't get it back till tonight so all my claims and Eric's letter will have to wait till tomorrow. Speaking of Eric I made a killing at one of the thrift stores today. I got 2 boxes full of Pokemon cards for him. I have enough to send him for at least a year.

While I love my books I'm trying to get all my new books to read from the library to save on money and space. Since my room is not really my room there is little I can do to modify it. So most of my stuff stays in boxes. If I don't have to add to the pile I would rather not which is very hard since I read a lot. Although I have to admit since I no longer do valet I have less time to do so. Now a book last me about 2 weeks.

My life is now clean. All the laundry is done. My room and the bathroom are clean. I'm good to go.

On the dating scene I'm back and forth. What the hell am I saying I flirted with two women today. One I wasn't prepared to ask out and it passed. The other I'll see again so I'll see. So I don't feel I'm looking, but if the opportunity pops up I seem to be biting it.

Thursday Wrap Up

One of my friends asked if I was happy that CPA girl called back. I had to say not really since I don't feel she is going to call. My gut tells me something is up. I don't think she is trying to screw with me or anything. Just something is going on and I have no idea what. If she calls to get together great, if not no big deal.

I love it when it drizzles the nights I have pizza. I don't really get wet and the oven just vomits out pizzas. It's great. Although I have to admit tips were either great or non existent tonight. I got one pantless guy tonight. I have to admit at least he admitted it, had a robe, and never came from behind the door. A few questions did come to mind. Like if your going to spank the monkey do it before you order or at least wait till you get the pizza. Also if you had enough energy to get up and get a robe, just through some pants on instead. Now that I remember it I did have a woman do something similar tonight. I have no idea what she was wearing in the house with her young daughter and teenage son, but it took her forever to put on a robe that was so tightly bound around her I couldn't believe she could breathe.

I was able to get off early without doing my duties tonight which was great. I was tired, but it was still early enough to go to salsa. So I shot down there and the crowd was better than last week, but still a little light. My Tuesday night instructor was there and we got to dance a little. Knowing the basics I was able to hop in mid way of the class. However at break I sat down and I could close my eyes and be asleep. I had pushed myself so I headed on home. Tomorrow since I'm not working or seeing CPA girl I'll come home and relax.

Since CPA girl is uncertain I put in for days I want off next week. Next Thursday so I can make the full class and next Saturday so I can hit the Neptune Festival.


Well I made my call to CPA Girl. It was a short message with me saying I hadn't heard from her and hoped everything was okay and to give me a call when she could.

So a few minutes later she called back. I was a little nervous to pick it up. She apologized for not calling saying she was busy and she had taken on more work. We caught up on our week and I asked if I could see her tomorrow. I gave her an out which I shouldn't of, but oh well. She took it and said she was busy. She then said she would call me over the weekend to set up something else. I don't know if she will call or not. Something is off and I can't put my finger on it. The happiness is no longer there in her voice. If she does call again I will ask.

I know she is having a hard time being upfront with a friend and I wonder if she is also having the same problem with me.

My Room

Boy that got a lot of response from everyone. LOL. Oh I know my room is like a big kids paradise. In my defense it would disappear if I had someone special coming over. However not a single woman has been to my place on a date. I have housemates and women like there single places better. I'm just enjoying myself as long as I can.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Fun & Funky Things in My Room

  1. My M & M Guys - Red usually likes what he see, but Yellow freaks way too easy
  2. My Laptop - this is actually my older one that Eric spilled milk into. Still works pretty good.
  3. My Dragon Katana - I'm a big Highlander fan and what true fan is without his sword
  4. My Lava lamp - when I was young I thought these were the coolest things ever. So when I became single again this went on the list to get fast.
  5. My Minatures collection - I paint tiny little guys about 1 1/2 inches tall. I have TONS of them. Now all I have is a small display for them. I use to have a big case to show them off.
  6. My Mermaid Lady - in my early forays out to find stuff I liked to replace the emptiness of my new single digs I found this lady and liked her.
  7. Abbey Road - Besides the large Beatles poster over my bed I have different album covers from a bunch of different artists around the room.
  8. My Futurama guys - I love the show and the metal figures decorate the top of my TV
  9. Dirty Pair gashapon (Japanes animation figures) - one of my favorite anime shows and I have a few different types of the girls
  10. Gatchaman gashapon- No 7 Zark 7 here. The ultra cool and violent Gatchaman in all his glory.
  11. Cyborg 009 gashapon - my first uncensored Japanese animation. I was hooked forever.
  12. Saint Seiya gashapon - The true meaning of persistence.
  13. Space Cobra gashapon - a wise cracking hero and beautiful women. What more can you ask for?

It's Just Me

Doing better today. Felt me feelings and now I'm on the other side. For me it a total exercise to go through them. I'm a over sensitive person and my parents never taught me how to deal with all my feelings. So after a life time of doing everything to suppress them I'm doing what I can to feel them and not cover them up.

I do think things are over for me and CPA girl, but I will call again later today. Growing up the way I did I am hypersensitive to changes in people. My switch was flipped Sunday and I know that is why I was craving some physical consolement not that I pushed for sex. Like I stated before a hug or a kiss is fine. CPA girl did chew gum for hours though and I don't kiss someone who is chewing. Again it is just a feeling, but in this world sometimes that is all I have. From them I will make decisions and learn from them and grow.


Well no call back from CPA girl. I was sad through the afternoon and I was going to pass on the gym, but like dancing I knew I would feel better afterwards. So I went and felt better. Still checking my phone every 30 minutes though. Trying to stay out of that insane thought pattern of what happened Sunday that started the difference.

So I'll call her tomorrow and see what happens. Until then I get to do some long over due laundry and cleaning.

The Waiting Game

I hate the waiting game. Truly! I know that CPA girl would be finished with her review class by 12:30 so I jump every time the phone rings. I actually had to change her ring so that I wouldn't lose my mind. Still nothing. Since she has made calls to me out of the blue I leave today to her to return my call. I'll try again tomorrow if I don't hear anything to give it the last chance.

Tuesday Wrap Up

I left a message on CPA girl's phone. I know this is her marathon day of school. No response like I hoped. As always I think the worse and if it is I have to remember there's nothing for me to do anyway. It's her decision. My hope is that she will call tomorrow and we are able to get together.

I was tired when I got out of pizza tonight. No real stories, but I did come down on TJ for shaking CPA girl's hand Sunday so he could see her cleavage. He was scared I told her about it and I told him no. However after seeing her he wants to go to salsa now.

Anyway I know how it is just to work the 2 jobs and then go home. So I went to salsa cause I know it will make me feel better and I know I don't have to stay all night. We started late tonight so I ended up talking to both bartenders. All I could think about was the line from Two & Half Men about bartenders. "You know they work on tips." I've yet to see a half dressed female bartender. Like where do they get these outfits? Fredrick's of Hollywood? Well tonight was a first. There was more women than men. Only by one, but that was major. Since everyone there, me included knew our basic stuff we did some fun intermediate stuff. Spins, reverse cross overs, and coppas which is a fun pull and release. With more practice I'll get better. The biggest problem is at this level a partner is really needed to get it down. The details is what makes it work.

TMI Tuesday

1. What is one thing a your significant other could do to you to rock your world? Normal stuff I would say compliments. Not use to them from a SO. Romantically I would say kiss or nibble on my neck. My eyes will roll back.

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people's thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why? Been invisible in my life and I don't want to go back, I think everyone thoughts should be private so I would have to go with invulnerable.

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up? Why? Being helpless is not a turn on for me so I would say being the tier which goes along with my controller tendencies.

4. What is your best physical and non physical asset? physical I would say my smile. Non physical I would say my mind which allows me to be imaginative and pick things up really fast.

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why? Organized cause that's what I am. Not neat just organized.

Bonus: What's the most embarrassing thing you ever bought? This took some thought. I would say fourth grade I saw this plastic dolphin in the store. I think it was like a preschool toy, but I thought is was so cute. My friends were harsh on me for the "baby" toy.

Setting the Tone

My weekly business meeting was funny this morning. I walked out to find MK Lady and Energy girl talking as thick as thieves. So I asked what they were up to and they were hatching some plan to find me someone. So I had to tell them I was seeing CPA girl which began the interrogation. It was nice they were thinking about me. Many of my female friends say this, but I don't think it ever gets of the drawing board.

Anyway today was my first day as vice president. OMG did I get jokes made at my expense. I'm a tone setter . I told everyone what I was accepting and not excepting. It makes my life easier and helps the group out. I know how to lay the law down and boy did I hear it. Everyone liked it though which is good cause it will continue. We talked about that the leadership meeting afterwards. The last leaders did well since I think their goal was bodies in the seats. Now we want to tone those bodies to actually make the networking part work.

The Daily Wrap Up

Talking with friends tonight I realized where my physical gauge came from. Things with my ex wife were bad for a long time. If I got a kiss or a hug I could lie to myself that things were okay. The training has continued. I know I'm working on it. I run the list of things why I think things are okay and it is slowly turning the tide.

Talked to CPA girl today and not quite sure if we are getting together Wednesday yet. Have to see how her study schedule goes. I realized my phone skills are lacking. It's been a long time since I've had the long phone conversations. So use to the first and second date calls being short. L hated the phone so I've really not had any practice in 18-19 years. Jeez when did I get so old. I was sort of quick to get off, but then we started talking on another subject. When we finally got off I realized I need some work here.

Salsa was fun tonight. A new instructor and I found out what the whole on the one or on the two means. Hey I feel like I can dance now plus with a cool new move it was lots of fun.

German girl asked me how attracted to CPA girl I was. I told her I thought she was gorgeous (yes I did tell her that), but it was what was inside that was really attracting me. The weird thing with this relationship was that I wasn't riding on a wave of emotions which is my MO. So I would take it not being super physical would be a plus for a while to see how we are together. My hope is that she things this could be a LTR like I do and that having sex too early would mess things up and that's why she is slowing things down.


I totally forgot this one from yesterday's date. I show up with my fly undone. CPA girl finally said something when we were about to dance in class. I don't know if she noticed before or just because I was standing in front of her.

3rd Date Tid Bits

Okay a little more awake now. So to everyone who has ever dated their is that awkward time in the beginning when you aren't BF & GF yet that when people ask you say your just friends. Holy hell! Did CPA girl get asked like a million times yesterday at salsa class. It started with this guy who she ran into and they use to work right next door to each other years ago. After they caught up I said hello and then he looked at her with this look of who the hell is he? She said we were friends. (He was married) However this just started this question to keep coming up. It ended with Joey the instructor asking her in front of the whole class was she single or not? LMAO. It was a trip to the Twilight Zone. When we first walked in we were talking and he thought he remembered me last week at the Tropicana. Then he jokes that I was with someone else. Joey is going to get hit one of these days with all his jokes.

CPA Girl and mines list keeps growing of different things we want to do. I volunteered for when she wants to take a few massage lessons to be her Guinea pig. She asked if she could rent space in my office which I said yes. We're nuts.

This whole relationship is a learning experience for me. I'm a physical guy and I grade things on that scale. Not the sex part, but I guess working in that direction. We were more hand holdy yesterday, but less kissy so that makes me wonder. However when I review everything else it looks good and solid. So I guess I need a new book.

3rd Date Recap

I think CPA girl spiked her lipstick. Jeez I'm ready for bed and I can barely keep my eyes open. Well CPA girl called me about 2:30 to make sure we were still on and I think she thought it was 3 o'clock instead of 4. So we talked for a little while then I told her I'd pick her up within the hour. I ran home to get a jacket since Fall has arrived and the nights are now chilly.

CPA Girl looked great when I picked her up. I got there earlier than planned so we hung out for a little while before heading over to salsa class. Class went very well and I got the basics of salsa on the 1 down. I got a LOT of compliments. I didn't know why until I was back in the car with CPA girl and she said all the guys were stiff except me and an older guy. We knew how to move. Who knew? CPA girl was sad since we didn't get to dance much since it was a class. I tried taking her picture, but she wouldn't have any of that.

CPA Girl was in the mood for Mexican so I figured Plaza Azteca since there is always a line when I'm working pizza. So we got there and it was perfect timing as TJ one of the other drivers was leaving and he wanted to see what she looked like so he could decide to go to salsa. The place was very good and they had CPA girl's favorite dessert. I got my churros for dessert, but they did something funky with them and they weren't that great.

So we decided to go for a walk at the park. We did a quick stop at CPA girl's place so she could change shoes and grab a heavier jacket. It was a nice walk. I haven't gone all the way around before. CPA girl may go to the gym a lot, but she doesn't seem to have my high energy. I wasn't walking that fast, but the rate I set was tiring her out so we slowed it down.

Afterwards we headed back to her place. Using the bathroom I got to see most of the place. I asked if she wanted to practice dancing since we didn't get much time together, but she wanted to relax. So we decided on a movie and went with Shooter. It was okay. Her cat plopped on my lap while I petted her. CPA girl was very surprised she stayed. I told her kids and animals love me. I heard the same thing from MK lady the other day when her daughter kissed me goodbye.

When the movie was finished it was after 9 and CPA girl's bedtime. She still had some more reading to do. So we kissed and I left. She knows I have Wednesday and Friday off so that will probably be our next 2 dates. I told her whatever days she needs just let me know and I'll alter my schedule.

We both had a great time. She is a hard one to read though. I think I may have to confer with German girl to pick up some pointers.

Sunday Morning

Yesterday was a good day. I get up at 8 every morning (hey it's early for me) so it is hard to sleep late on the weekends especially when I've worked late at pizza. However I was able to fall back to sleep again and it was much needed rest. So that seem to become the theme of the day. I just strolled through the day. Reading, Starbucks, and watching shows until work. The Two & Half Men season 1 came out this week and I had been waiting for a long time for it. However when I learned it was coming out this week it was like buy DVD or date? Dating won, but I won our weekly door prize at my business meeting this week which allowed me to get it. Sweet! So I've been laughing my ass off for the last few days.

CPA girl and I talked for a while yesterday. We're still getting together today for some salsa and dinner. I joked with her a little about her shoes and we had some fun. I think we feel very connected to each other, but their hasn't been enough time together to really bond so we get these moments where these blanks are. It's hard to explain. Sitting here I'm grateful for all the dating I've done since I separated. With a quick guestimate I would say I've dated about 30 women since then and that being in the last 2 years. The funny thing is that half that number was done in the first 6 months. Yeah I went through a lot of women getting my dating legs back. I would say there was at least and equal amount of women that never made it to the table. However I see all that I've learned along the way and I'm happy to have kept moving on.

I'm bringing my camera to get a pic of CPA girl since too many people are clamouring to see what she looks like and I would like one myself. Since it is the third date I guess I should bring protection along. I wonder if I get the ribbed for her pleasure and turn it inside out. Will it be for my pleasure then?

Woo Hoo!

I tell you I just love it when CPA Girl calls me. I can always die a happy man afterwards. So we got a chance to talk for a little while and we'll see each other Sunday. We decided on some dancing and dinner. Their is a basic class on Sundays that Joey wants me to come to so he can give me business. Hey kill two birds with one stone.

This will be our third date and since she called today my anxiety has been alleviated. I don't buy into Starboard Tack's 3 date rule nor all the young guys at pizza's beliefs on dating. I'm not a gambler hoping for the quick big score. I'm more of looking for the long term investment. The way our relationship is going has been great and I'm enjoying the ride.

The completely weird thing is that I know that CPA girl wants kids. I've for a while have been under the belief that I'm done. However since we've met I would like to have another child. Playing with every one's babies last night and my friends young daughter this morning has helped re spark that in me. I'm surprised. However I did do a lot with Eric. Taught him to eat and draw and a whole lot more. That was the true legacy from my Dad. I would never be him.

Thursday Night

Well first of all I would like to thank everyone for calming my nerves on the age thing. CPA Girl is mature beyond her years so I don't care about her age whatever it is.

My business networking social was fun. It was especially nice for me to feel I fit in and to see others uncomfortable. To have fully turned a corner with it felt really good. Loan lady has an awesome house on a lake. It was very relaxing. It was nice to meet spouses and kids. At times it was like a nursery. When half the people were leaving I figured I'd cut out and go to salsa since the rest were more sports fans and they were over by the big plasma with ESPN on.

I was a little anxious about getting to salsa late, but since I had the basics down I figured I could handle it. Holy crap it was empty tonight. The bartender who remembers me, she had no idea why it was so. Their didn't seem to be any instruction going on. Joey was doing some one on one with one couple. Everyone else was couples on the dance floor. The few single women had already been swooped up by the experienced guys. So I hung for about 15 minutes then headed down to the boardwalk. I figured since I was down there I might as well enjoy.

I didn't hear from CPA girl today. I'll give her a call tomorrow. I'm a little anxious. I know if we get past a third date we'll go for a while. So I'm anxious to get over the hump.

Palm Reading

While CPA girl and I sat in the park yesterday holding hands she tried reading my palm. She had read a book once and remembered all the things to check for. She said my thenar was nice a rounded so I was romantic. My finger tips were good and I was expressive. My heart line was good. She couldn't understand why I had 2 life lines, but mine were long and my destiny was set. Hey I've remade myself and left my old life behind. I wanted to look at hers but she laughed and hid them from me saying her polish was chipped which I knew it wasn't. LOL.

The funny thing is people ask me well hold is she and I'm like I don't know. When you date online age is a nice screener, but in the real world you get to know the person before you know. When I dated April she never asked until her friend wanted facts. My guess is that CPA Girl is 28. I have to admit I do have a little fear about her knowing my age since most people think I'm younger. It'll come up eventually and in 2 months is my birthday.
Also I see my dating life is popular since I get way more comments and emails.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Like About Virginia Beach

  1. 1. The Ocean - with the pods of dolphins that can be seen daily.

  2. 2. The Beach - which is cleaned daily most of the year.

  3. 3. The Bay - Ocean too far go to the bay. Water on 2 sides of the city is awesome.

  4. 4. Recreation Centers - $55 a year for a membership. Gym, classes, pool, bowling alley and more. It's awesome.

  5. 5. Parks - Fish, hike, camp there is something for everyone

  6. Boardwalk - biking and inline skating during the day. Concerts and musicians of all types at night.

  7. Spread out city - we may be the 32nd largest city in the US, but it's because we are just spread out all over the place.

  8. Cheap - I'm from NY so I can say this

  9. No Snow - a dusting here is the coming of the Apocalypse

  10. Not Hickey - with the Navy bases here the area is pretty cosmopolitan.

  11. Amphitheater - great concerts and cheap seats. Ranked #7 in the country

  12. Healthy - the city ranks as #1 or 2 healthiest city in the country and their is plenty to do to keep you healthy here

  13. Not the South - while many will contest this I still think of it as the North with some Southern charm


Well after I finished up with CPA girl today I was ready for bed. Sleep that is. I was already tired and the nice relaxing time we spent together just relaxed me more. I was happy to realize today that I did learn L's zen move of being at peace during the moments of silence. I can almost feel myself tense then I just relax and enjoy the moment. When we get together next time we need to do something so it will increase our conversation. CPA girl is stressing with her studies so it comes back as a topic. I was very happy that she thanked me for the meal today. She didn't last time and I know some women never do. I'm happy to pay, but I do like the thank you as a courtesy. I left her a message tonight when I left work just wondering how the rest of her day went. If I don't hear back from her tomorrow I'll call her Friday.

I have to admit since I have crossed the line I'm okay if I do lose her. Accepting it all has lowered my anxiety on it all.

No real good pizza stories except the 46 cents tip from the people who own a house that is well over a million dollars. Cheap bastards.

Date #2

It worked out well. My noon patient rescheduled for tomorrow so I was already when CPA Girl called. It was great to see her and she looked awesome. Since it was a beautiful day and I knew she liked seafood I decided on Chix's. It's right on the water so we could sit and enjoy the weather. So it was really nice. Having grown up on the water I use to many things. Like we were seated above the water and you could here the waves when a boat went by. CPA girl is from a landlocked place so the sounds of water are new to her.

We continued to increase our list of things we wanted to do together in the area. So we have no shortage of activities just time. CPA girl is starting to worry about her test in February. She needs it to practice and failure would push all her stuff back. So we were able to talk about that and different items from our backgrounds.

Since she wasn't dressed for it we passed on a walk on the beach and instead went for a walk in the park. Silence is golden. It's one of the things I love of the area. When you go out into nature you don't hear anything except it. We did get to kiss some more on a bench and I'm getting more acclimated to her kissing. She's a wide kisser and I'm getting use to it.

She has some great qualities, but it's something inside of her that I can't fully identify that draws her to me. I think that she is driven like me and maybe more so. I don't meet many women like that and I like it. I guess because it has defined me I'm attracted to it.

I want to see her more often as she me, but I think this slow build up is good. I can almost feel myself wanting to act like the relationship is further along, but it only date #2. I know that is me wanting to be at some future point. I do have to admit I wasn't nervous today and was able to enjoy the day.

TMI Tuesday (Waaaay Late)

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex? My bedroom with my ex when we were still dating. Fleetwood Mac was playing on the stereo.

2. Does size matter? (open to interpretation boys and girls) Not really. As long as their is enough to enjoy that's good.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment? Yes. In my old S. Bronx office I think every surface in my personal office.

4. Ever been skinny dipping? No

5. Top or bottom? I would have to say the top. Yes I'm a bit of a controller.

Bonus: Where were you September 11, 2001? What were you doing when you first heard about the twin towers? This is easy. Usual morning of my ex and my arguing. I'm waiting for her to get out of the shower so I can go to work and she can watch Eric. So I see the smoke on the building and I figure it is a movie promo. So I take Eric outside and I was all the windows on the house. Yes my ex takes a long time in the shower. When I come back in I realize that it's real when I see that the other tower has been hit.

Dude, where's your pants?

This happened not once, but twice tonight at pizza. My manager had already warned my they had been strange on the phone. So the first guy I know I've been there before and he's not a tipper so I'm looking forward to the delivery. Anyway when I get there their is a bad of garbage on his doorstep which is on the third floor. Yeah I love trekking up 3 flights of stairs to get stiffed. Anyway I knock ... I knock again ... knock yet again. Then my phone comes out and I call and get nothing. So I'm like I'm not coming back tonight if he calls for it. Anyway I get down to my car when I hear the door open up and the guy is calling for me. Bastard! So I make the trek back upstairs to find the guy in his underwear. I really don't want to know if that's a hard on he has. So I give him the receipt to fill out which he does and actually gives me $2 for a tip. I'm amazed.

The second guy was better. My manager couldn't understand him on the phone so besides his order I'm either delivering 4 Cokes or 4 Sprites. This guys speech must REALLY suck if you can't tell the difference. So I have to lug all this crap to his house. So I'm waiting and finally the door opens up and I tell him how much it is. It's kind of dark in the house and he's holding his hand out, but it's still inside. After a few I realize he is holding out money while trying to hold a towel around his waist even though he is wearing a business shirt. Like WTF! Put some clothes on before you answer the door. Now NONE of the women have this problem. Anyway this guy gave me a $12 tip so he can do whatever the hell he wants. He can clamp a mousetrap on his balls for all I care for that kind of money.

Well the frazzleness of the day continued into the night. When I got to pizza I looked at the schedule only to find that I was not leaving at 9 to go dancing, but I was closing alone. Now I truly HATE closing. You're there late, lot of extra cleaning work, little extra money. Now on a Friday or Saturday night that could mean significant money, but on a dead night like tonight it royally sucks. I sat around for hours doing nothing and I couldn't fucking leave. The great piece of news was that I was now working Friday when I was suppose to be going out with CPA girl. SHIT! I'm really happy we're getting together tomorrow for lunch and I hope she is free Sunday now. I did make sure to now have Wednesdays and Fridays off in the future. We talked tonight and are both looking forward to seeing each other. It's nice to feel a little electricity in our conversation.

Many people sent me condolences on my Dad and I thank you. However he is just my biological Dad. I haven't talked to him in 17 years. My ex or Eric have never met him. The last time we talked was the fourth time he wanted a separation between us. I said to myself I don't fucking need this anymore. I needed a Father when I was young and then in my twenties I was just beyond it. The only good my Dad can do me know is whatever money I get when he dies. Sorry to sound like a ghoul, but it's the truth. He stole a lot of money from his mom and all the grandchildren when his father died. His siblings are waiting for him to die and they are making sure I'm going to go after the money for myself and Eric. There was a point I didn't want the money, but now I see it as a way that I could see my son every month. It took my Mom 3 strokes for us to have a decent relationship. Let me tell you there isn't much left. Now with my Dad it may take his death to finally do something useful for me.


What a snow ball day. It just kept building momentum till it's really big. Although as usual I know I am doing it to myself. It all doesn't have to happen today. I'm just being anal. I wasn't expecting to take the VP position in my business group till next month, but since the leaving VP is on vacation for 2 weeks I might as well step up to the plate. So it just made more work for me today :P while a new patient came in which was good, but it still all shortened my time down. So I can feel I'm tense. I feel like passing on dancing tonight, but I think the activity will help me unwind. CPA Girl won't be out of class till 10 so I'll call her afterwards to talk about tomorrow.

Other than that my Aunt told me that my father is not doing well. Like she said all the drinking and smoking has taken its toll with him. She said what is funny is that now he wants someone to help him after a lifetime of pushing everyone away. For I don't feel much I have more connection with you my readers than I have with my Dad. We were never close and that bond never formed.

The Rest of the Day

"Teacher can I leave? My brain is full." This line from the Farside kept running through my mind all day. Two hours with my attorney and 4 hours in leadership class and my brain was hurting from all the information. Although the 4 hours was easier since I was still reliving the high from CPA girl's call.

So I had some time so I headed over to the gym to work out. Who the hell do I run into? L Jeez this is scary. I didn't notice her till she waved "hi" as she walked by. I was happy she didn't stop by or give me one of her body hugs. She did her thing, I did mine and I was happy.

Did a little practicing in the in line skates. Holy hell that's a foot and ankle work out. I do need to check if I should go down a size when I stop at the store tomorrow. You really need a tight ankle support to make it work.

Salsa tonight was fun and it's nice to know the crowd. Monday's seems to be different in that more couple go than any other night. Never the less there was still a shortage of women. It was also nice to be a little board for some of the class since I had that part down. Starting to get some more compliments which is nice. My biggest problem is still keeping the beat with the music. I set my own beat and I just go with that until my partner tells me I'm not in sync with the music. Oh well.

On the way home I left a message for CPA girl telling how her call made my day. We'll talk again tomorrow about our lunch date for Wednesday. I can't wait.


Sitting here having lunch today between seeing my lawyer to set up a trust for Eric since I don't trust my ex. I know she would use the money to pay for her life instead of it being Eric's. Then this afternoon I have leadership training.

Well I just got a call from CPA Girl. She just wanted to say hello and that she was thinking about me. Okay my day was just made and I'm on cloud 9. We also scheduled lunch for us Wednesday which will be very nice since it was going to be a long week until Friday. We'll talk tomorrow to finalize plans. Wow a proactive girl. I'm lovin' it.

The One

While driving tonight at work I was thinking of something German Girl said today. She said maybe she's the one. It must be a girl thing cause I've never thought of the one. Before marriage I have no idea what I was thinking. Now a days I date because I like how it challenges me to grow in areas that I can't do as a single. I know it might sound like I'm freaking out with my entries and sometimes I am, but usually I'm just trying to sort it all out. The women I pick usually have qualities that I like and want for myself. CPA girl loves life and is very focused. She has many other great qualities, but these stand out to me. So you know CPA girl is not a CPA. She is studying to be one. She was a realtor, but didn't like it. On finding numbers she fell in love with accounting and is trying to finish as soon as possible. So Tuesdays and Thursdays she is in class 1 - 10 pm. Plus classes scattered the rest of the week.

So we talked tonight and we'll see each other Friday and hopefully part of the day either Saturday or Sunday since I have to work those nights. I may give up salsa on Thursdays so I can take off Wednesdays to see her twice which will leave me 2 nights to salsa still. I don't want to give up my healthy stuff, but some give in take is necessary.


Talking to German Girl today. Since she wasn't born here she is my informant for everything across the pond. One of the things that was really frustrating me was CPA girls body language. To which German Girl states that American body language is different from the rest of the world. She related how she has many problems with people reading hers. What comes back to me is a guy I use to work for me married a Filipino woman. I remember him saying he didn't realize how much different the cultures were in small things.

I liked what Annie said as a comment in my last entry. Although I don't know if it will happen. CPA girl is driven and has herself on schedule to situate herself here. She wants to bring her mom over and start a family in the future. So to achieve those goals she is very diligent in her work. So she gives me different tidbits. Like she passed over the naked pictures of her the other night. She told me she'll save it for another time.

I'll bend on my side although I will not go backwards. If I'm important to her she will see she needs to bend too. Like all relationships it is the problem areas that will set the level of it.


Well CPA girl called me this morning. She had to move back our date since she had to take care of a client. It was too late in the day for me since I was working the dinner shift. I could do it afterwards, but that was late for her. She suggested Wednesday, but I'm not quite sure of my schedule for the week. She did tell me that Monday, Tuesday, and Thursdays were bad for since she has review classes those days. I am awfully glad she came to salsa last Thursday then. The information is good since I can work any days I want at pizza. Just I didn't know before this week started. CPA Girl sounded really bad that we couldn't see each other. I told it was okay, but I dropped in to the peacekeeper mode and when I talk to her later let her know that I missed seeing her today. Since she is busy Thursdays I'll pass on asking her to the party.

So I went and did some errands. While out I found a pair of in line skates on sale cheap. So I picked them up. I've wanted to do so for a while, but I didn't want to do it by myself. CPA Girl loves to in line skate so she can teach me.

So now I have a few hours to blow and I think I will clean up my storage room at the office. It's getting bad in there.

And yes I did cross the line last night into a better world in my attitude with CPA girl. The song playing was Cinnkitty's "Na na na na, heh heh heh, goodbye ...". Farewell to an old part of myself.

A Question

A question to you all. This Thursday my business group is having a social get together where everyone is bringing their spouses and kids. We are growing as friend so it will be a nice time. My question to you all is do I ask CPA girl to go with me or is that too weird this early on?

The Line

I can't believe that I am already at this place with CPA Girl. We talked tonight and decided to get together tomorrow before I go to work. Since the weather is up in the air for tomorrow we decided to make a decision then on what to do. However when I hung up a nagging fear was there. I know she likes me, but do I dare truly believe it. For to do so opens me up to hurt if it doesn't work out. Realistically I know there is the possibility for incredible happiness here, but the fear of loss is there. It started in childhood with our many moves. Kids don't truly have the ability as adults to keep relations over distances with out assistance. Over and over I lost many a friend with our moves as I grew up. Then in post separation I have met a few women that I really liked, but it didn't work out. I guess it falls into the sphere of helplessness. I hate it. I was powerless to stop our moves and the end of my friendships as a child. As an adult I am powerless over another person's decisions. However I do know if I don't give it my all I greatly increase my chances of it not growing to fruition. I know I am smitten with CPA Girl so my fear is increased. I was surprised that I adopted my old mask last night on our date. I will have to be more aware of what is going on.


I always enjoy the day after a good date. The sun is brighter, the day nicer, and I'm happier. It's a beautiful thing. The weather forecast for tomorrow is a mixed bag. It will rain at some time know one knows when. So I would like to actually do something and I know CPA girl is like me and likes action. It was funny last night to find out how much we have in common. Not the small stuff like I love reading and she doesn't, but our activity level is about the same. We both find our families as important, although she gets along with hers. I laughed when we both said how we have a fear of sharks in the water. I tell you it is a true enjoyment watching her enjoy life. I left her a message this morning for tomorrow so we'll see what happens. I know she would be with her friend today. We already have a large list of activities we want to do together. Their all out door stuff so now we just need time.

Jen over at My 33 People stated this today and it's what I've been looking for. As I get busier it is time consuming to check on every one's blog to see if they updated. So Google has a reader to tell you when someone makes a new entry.

Post Date Report

I know some of you actually stay up to read these so I wasted no time when I got home to write it. Well I arrived at CPA girl's place at 7 to pick her up. When I called she told me to come on up which worked at well with the flowers. She has a very nice place, a cute cat, and still drop dead gorgeous. So after a few minutes we headed out. Isla's turns out to be her favorite restaurant so that works out very well. We talk about everything under the sun. I mention my son which I don't know how it will go over. Always a hurdle. She runs it through her mind that I have been married and now divorced (yes!). Since she is Russian I didn't know what was the slow down in thought process, but then she admitted she had been married and is also divorced, but with no kids. I could see relief on her face and I think that was a worry for her.

Dinner was fun, but she was hard to read. Her body language going from open to close and then back to open. I was having a fun time so I pressed on. She asked what I wanted to do afterwards. I asked her what she had in mind since I was thinking of a walk on the beach or boardwalk. That turned out to be her suggestion and she wanted to surprise me with where. So I followed her directions over to the bay to a spot I haven't been before. We kicked off our shoes and had a nice walk down by the surf trying not to step on all the tiny sand crabs as they scurried out from underneath our feet. On the beach I loosened up more and CPA Girl noticed that I was more silly. She said she couldn't tell during dinner if I was having fun or wanted to be touched. I told her yes to both, but when I'm nervous I sometimes fall back to old habits of having a stoic manner. I thought I had gotten rid of that.

So then we had some fun walking up and down the beach. At some point I turned her around to kiss her which she hungrily returned. We walked back to car swapping stories and I drove her home. I walked her to her door and asked to see her again. We started to make plans and then she just invited me in. We hung out and she showed me one of her photo albums of her family back home. We then kissed some more with both of us remarking how the other's lips were nice and soft. So we will probably go back out Sunday before I have pizza.

One thing I realized tonight while sitting with CPA Girl is that with her the last 3 women I've dated all have a zest for life. Their reaching for their dreams or seeking to have fun in their lives. Something I am doing also so it was nice to notice that I was attracting this good quality. I like her.

Pre Date Plan

Well I called and left a message for CPA girl about tonight. When she called back we small talked and I found out her feet were killing her so their would be no dancing tonight. So we agreed on drinks and see how it goes if we did anything else. I choose Isla's since it would be a quiet place for drinks and the food is excellent if we wanted to stay. It will be weird that this is the first pick up date in a long time. I usually meet the woman at the place or some midway point. I'm picking her up at her place. She did tell me to call and she would come down to meet me. So during my break today I'll run over to the florist to pick up a flower for her and get my car cleaned. Since we aren't getting together till 7 I'll hit the gym after work, grab a shower, and don a clean outfit since we had our office block party today and I'm a sweaty mess. Wish me well. I'll blog later about it.

Okay That was Weird

I just got a call from Chamber Girl. Do you remember her? I asked her out for drinks a couple of weeks ago, but I thought she was just yesing me. Well she just called to get an appointment for her boyfriend. Why didn't she just say so?

Oh well I'll give CPA Girl a call in a little while and see if we can go dancing again tonight.

He Shoots, He Scores

So I stopped by the boardwalk before hitting salsa tonight. I had practiced and having gotten one type of salsa down I hoped that tonight would be easier. The crowd was really light. Anyway I knew one new woman had signed up to come. From her picture she was attractive, but my jaw dropped when she arrived. I smiled and waved over to her. She asked why we were all spread out. So I invited her to my table since the seats were cushioned. So between us and another guy we started up a conversation. During this I gave (her = CPA girl) directions to park her car in the lot so she wouldn't be towed. While this happened the place filled up nicely.

So the instructor was slower tonight since more than half the people there were for the first time. It was the same step from last time with a few twist. I got it pretty fast and the women were complimenting me. On my dancing. That was weird. It was nice to see many familiar faces which made it fun. Anyway it comes to break so I ask CPA girl to dance. We have a fun time and I teach her a new move. She's enjoying pushing her body against mine which I take as a good sign. Afterwards I sit back with her and we chit chat some more.

After break we are separated again which is no biggie and I kind of like the break. I actually have a few women want to dance with me. The night is getting strange. Anyway during the next break I sit to relax. CPA Girl is kept on the dance floor. She is a Type 1. Attractive s she'll be on it all night. However she is not wearing the right shoes and comes back to relax. We talk some more until it is meringue time. This is a fun dance and were both against each other. So I figure I need to ask her out.

CPA Girl finally gets to the point she can't dance anymore. She is going to go and I offer to walk her back. I would do it for any woman late night on a deserted street, but it gives me time to talk. We don't get far before she is suggesting we get together. I agree and we trade phone numbers. We hug and I help her into her car.

I was going to go out with friends tomorrow night for a singles event, but I would rather go out with CPA girl and we can dance again tomorrow if we want.

Thursday Thirteen

My Thirteen Favorite Sci-Fi Movies (no order)

1) Empire Strikes Back – what can I say the best of the bunch
2) Galaxy Quest – If you are a fan of the old Star Trek you must see this movie
3) Final Yamato (J) – The last of the series and a great way to end
4) Matrix – I should have taken the blue pill.
5) Space Adventure Cobra (J) – a wise cracking hero, beautiful women what more can you ask for?
6) Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country – Hookie I know, but I like it
7) Men in Black – Way too short of a movie
8) Terminator 2 Judgment Day
9) Serenity – not a big fan of the series, but I loved this movie
10) Star Wars – started it all
11) Armageddon – Didn’t do well in the box office and it’s a great movie
12) Star Trek 2 – all I can say is “Kkkhhhhaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
13) Crusher Joe (J) -
a great movie and it spawned the Dirty Pair too

I'm Lovin' It!

Hi I'm Mike.

Me? I'm divorced. (manical laughter)

Yes I can say it now and it feels great.

The Unwritten Salsa Rules

As I said before salsa is different than all other dancing in that no where else do I go and there are a bunch of men wanting to dance and very few women. The dance itself is so Hispanic it's not funny. The guy sets the tone and the women just looks beautiful and sexy. Anyway I was talking to DK Girl last night. (So you know girl is single and lady is married). I was saying how all the more experienced guys swoop up the women and it is hard for me to practice once lessons end. So I got to hear her point of view which is true.

There are 3 groups of women at these events.

1) the attractive women - no one cares if they can dance. The seasoned pros just grab them and these women will most likely never stop spinning till the night is over or they puke.

2) the women who can dance - after all the #1's are gone this is the next group to go

3) what's left - nuff said

I have to agree with my teacher last night. It doesn't matter how many moves you know it is only the ones you can do well that will impress your partner. So with salsa on the 2 I can do 3 basic moves well. Salsa on the 1 still escapes me since it is completely different footwork even though it is the same beat. What truly sucks is Thursdays has the greatest amount of people to practice with, but it is Salsa 1. RRRRRRR frustrating.

Street Legal

Well I found myself back in court again this morning for the signing of my divorce papers. I had a 9:30 docket and the judge was going to see it. Thank you. I get called in at noon. My new phrase for the week WTF! I missed an appointment since I knew it would take all of 60 seconds to take care of. The funny thing was that it was so anticlimactic and fast that I wasn't quite sure it was done until the judge started talking about the next case. Hey at least it is finally done after a little over 3 years. Let the celebration begin.

Feeling better than I did last night, but still surprised to find out L is so manipulative. For me I had thought I had gotten over that hurdle. The major women in my life have all been that way and I had hoped that I had worked through choosing them. My Mom's the big one and I guess she is my blueprint for a woman somewhere deep down. I remember doing exercises when I had first separated and the negative words that described the women in my life would be manipulative and sly. While they had good traits it would be these two traits that drove them in the relationship to whatever comfort zone they were looking for. Now I wonder if L will be following my movements with dancing since she knows of it.

Marking Her Territory

Well pizza was slow tonight so I was able to get out early and get to salsa in plenty of time. The bartender was a woman I remembered from HK when L and I use to go there. So we talked a little since she didn't remember me. Anyway since the salsa group has many regulars I talked to a few until class started. Now I have come to find out that there are 2 different types of salsa. One on 1 and the other on 2. What the hell that means is beyond me, but that is the difference between Mondays & Tuesdays classes compared with Thursday class. Anyway I did well since their is good instruction. Afterwards I danced with a few of the different ladies (as always there is far too many guys). They all had danced for at least a year and said I was doing very well for my week and a half.

Anyway I'm dancing with one lady when suddenly I get poked on my sides. I turn around and it's L. WTF? I know a lot of people in this city and I NEVER run into them so what's up with this. So she gives me one of her full body hugs. I make quick small talk since I would like to get back to dancing, but I notice she had already found someone else. L talks a little while longer and goes over to her date, Sunglass guy. It's 10:30 at night and it's dim in the place what the hell do you need sunglasses for. Anyway I pull up a wall to watch the experience dancers dance and see what I can become if I keep with it. I try not to notice L and her date going at it at the bar. Then it kind of hits me this misty eyedness. I don't really feel anything, but I have that feeling like I want to cry, but I'm not. I have no want to go since this is my time. So I sit back and relax. At some point L comes over to me sliding her arm across my chest and asks why I'm not dancing. I tell her at this time it's all the experienced dancers who have done so for years. That's when I realized she's marking me to the room. Touch is possession. That's when I fully see the manipulator under the mask and I become frosty. My answers become short and my body language changed. I don't think L knew what to make of it, but she pulled back. She left her hand on my chest, but she had lost my attention. Slowly she went back to her guy and they went back to groping each other. I felt better and went back to dancing until 11 when I decided to leave.

I still feel that misty eyed feeling and I'm not quite sure where my emotions are. I don't think they are truly tied to L, but something older that she has reopened. It just feels right is all I can say. For me it is time for me to feel my feelings to probably another old feeling that was buried alive.
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