Fast Hello

Sorry to be away so long. In honesty I'm still not really back yet fully. It's been a wild few days and I'll try to fully update everyone with what's been happening.

It was a great weekend with the Comic and its really nice to have someone do all the things that I usually do in the relationship. Like saying that my profile is erased or stating all the good qualities the other person has. So this is really uncharted waters for me. Like German girl said. My number has to come up some time.

The bus trip up to NY went well although I did find it hard to sleep. The only snafu was that I don't have a credit card. I use my debt card which always works for me in the past. However NY rental companies wouldn't rent me a car like Florida would. So I ended having to take a high speed taxi drive to pick up Eric.

The week has been lots of fun with Eric and I'll do a full update when I can. Enjoy the pics of NY.

The Balancing Carrot

German girl made a point that I had been thinking about over the last few weeks. Am I picking too independent women? When I was younger my Dad was always my bad example. The smoking, drinking, and other personality defects were things that I steered as far away as I could. However as I got older I mellowed my hard line stance with things. People drinking around me no longer bother me for example. When I divorced my ex I wanted nothing to do with her dependant ways. So I think I did the same thing with going to the other extreme. Independence and assertiveness have become very attractive to me. So like many things in my life I need to install a dimmer switch so I can modify how I do things. Not too bright, not too dim. As always a work in progress.

I do want to thank everyone for their views on me talking to Eric about dating. In the past I've not done it since no one ever pasted the 6 month point. However as he does get older he should know for many reasons. One as many you pointed out, he will be dating. The other is that he always has a curiosity when there is a female connection to me. So I will start the conversation up when he visits in a few weeks to lay the ground work. Then I can keep him updated as things happen.

I tell you the one thing I do miss about Kitcat. No it's not sex, but I do miss that too. It's the carrot to do better. When I was with her it was the first time in a long time I wanted to have things better in my life so I could have more time with her. Everyone needs a carrot to motivate them to do things. I tell you I can't do it for myself beyond mediocrity. Eric is not with me anymore and the distance doesn't help. So I now find myself back in the quandary of what do I use as a motivation. A better life for myself just doesn't do it for some reason. Most likely it's my sub standards for myself. Any suggestions? What do you use to motivate yourself to better things?

Whoops My Mistake

I still have no firm "date" with Kitcat this weekend. It is hard to schedule stuff with her crazy schedule, but I have to own that I don't usually say what days are good for me which I need to start doing. While I don't give up the things I really want to do, there is a grouping of stuff that I could take or leave that I'm wobbling on while I wait to see if we are getting together. I'm hoping that will get us better on track since we don't know what each other is doing most of the time. We started out this way with spur of the moment dating and its now taking over which isn't good for the long term. So I'll have to mention something later on about it.

The appointment with the personal trainer went well this morning. I was a bit nervous since its a good relationship for the office. So far he's on board to work together to market and also barter services back and forth. I've never thought about doing training, but I'm willing to give it a try. German girl said I don't need it. I think she doesn't want me to become a muscle head. I'd be happier to be a little more cut and my core tighter.

Today is the Stockley Garden art show which is always a treat. I'm going with the singles and this is the first time in 2 years that the weather is nice. Since it's twice a year we've dealt with freezing weather, rain, and the worse was the flood that was happening while we were there.

I was very happy to get the call yesterday saying that one of my cases was finally settled after 6 months. It's not a huge amount, but it will pay for me to see Eric next month which is all I want. I'll be really happy when my larger one from 2-3 years ago is settled. It should be in court soon. With that will be the return of medical insurance, woohoo.

The Time Paradox

I was chatting with German girl today and she asked how everything with Kitcat was going. I told her everything was going well, but I hadn't seen her in over a week and any alone time was now in the 2 week zone. Saying it made me realize it wasn't that long of a time even though feeling wise it feels like ages. Liking Kitcat a lot and it being the beginning of a relationship, I don't enjoy having week long periods of time not seeing her. It's probably why I don't like long distance relationships. The extended periods of not seeing each other don't make me happy nor do I like sucking it up on a regular basis. Why some people do like it, I know it's not for me. The extra rub is that out of most of the women I've dated she's one of the closest. Law girl holds the record with a mile down the road which was very sweet.

Kitcat didn't say what she was doing today when I wished her happiness this morning. She was enjoying time with her youngest. I would guess her oldest was taking her out or doing something. I wanted to know so if nothing was being done I would cook for her. Since her youngest doesn't know we are dating we still play it cool and my visits when he is there they are infrequent at best.

Today is a hanging day for me. I visited my Mom for Mother's day this morning and now I'm hanging at Starbucks. I'll do a little shopping before heading back home to do the weekly clean up.

No Rotten Eggs Here

Easter dinner with Kitcat and sons went well. One of her neighbors was there also so it was a fun ole time. Her older son and fiancee showed up late, but everyone was very pleasant. Kitcat is a good cook and everything was delicious. Afterwards after everyone had left and her son went to bed it was nice to sit on the couch together, watch some TV, and relax. Kitcat was worn out from all the festivities of the day so I rubbed her shoulders for her. When I was finished and she laid back against me she wasn't long for this world. After a few minutes I could detect the minute muscle twinges of someone asleep. I didn't wake her until the show was over. I was enjoying holding her and since she was sound asleep I knew she was comfortable.

No toothbrush, but food stuff is staying there. Kitcat wanted me to keep my soy milk over her place so I'd have something to drink when I came over. The relationship is progressing just nicely for me.

German girl was laughing her ass off when I told her that Kitcat and I had sex. She is positive that I have some strange power over women. It doesn't feel like it on my end, but hey I've been wrong before.

The office week is starting off okay, but the end looks really light. Like Kitcat and I were talking today. Admin stuff I'm great at, but marketing is my weak spot. Well the correct thing is that sales is my weakness. I'm good at getting myself out there, but the full sale is my problem. I'm following up with the people I talked to last week and creating this week's list. I also need to start practicing for the two presentations I have this month. Happily they are both on stress management so I can just focus on the one topic. My patient appreciation dance is getting mild attendance. Most people who usually go, can't do it this time due to other engagements. I always need a certain amount of people there to make the room look full, but mostly its another way to get in contact with patients.

The Process of the Heart

So I saw Asp last night. As she was making dinner she was still a bit distant, but we talked a little. However it wasn't till when we were watching TV and I tried to kiss her that I got her to open up and talk. Asp said that she had pulled back and she didn't know why. She didn't know if it was self preservation or what, but if I could be patient with her. I had no problem with that. I knew pushing the issue wouldn't help.

It did remind me of a talk German girl and I had a few weeks back. I had said I still couldn't get the difference of women from when I was young to now, twenty years later. This having sex before feelings started was a different view of women for me. She had said older women could have sex without opening their heart therefore they were protected. I think this is where Asp is now. Does she open her heart to me and possibly get it hurt?

I don't think I mentioned it before, but I'll do so now. Asp's father tried to sexually molest her. The verbiage happened for a while, but when the physical tried to start she just ran from the house and went to live with a foster family. At the time her mother was an active drug user. So I see why it's hard for her to open her heart to anyone without fear. We've talked about this with announcing our relationship on Facebook. I was easily able to do it. Her reservation was if we broke up.

I was surprised to wake up to finding her wanting to have sex. I wasn't expecting that. Anyway I did ask her if there was anything I could do to help her with the pull back. She told me straight out not to help would be the best. At first this wrinkled me, but I did remember what I read yesterday about wanting to control. I would love to know the details so I can fix.

So I flipped it around since I've been in her spot before. I knew I would talk about the problem, but I would want to fix it on my own. So I can't say much if I would want the same. Today is 2 months since our first date and I've had to process a lot of stuff since we dated. Asp is doing the same. I'll see how it goes.

Catch Up

Jeez it feels like I've been gone forever. Even more so when I walked in the house this morning. I haven't slept at the house since last Wednesday. Thursday was my last update from the landlord on how he was doing. His ex was sleeping this morning so I didn't get any new info. I'll be there tonight so hopefully I'll find out then. I feel very influx there since he's not there, but he's not dead so I'm not quite sure what is going on.

My seminar in Williamsburg went well. It was nice to get away although it was freezing cold up there. I didn't bring a winter jacket and I was shivering while deciding to eat Saturday night. It was even better when I came out Sunday morning to find my car under a sheet of ice. I thought I left NY so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

Friday night and Asp, her son, and myself went out and got a tree and some decorations. We did lights and she did the rest of the tree over the weekend. We did set up next Monday as a sleep in day. I'll come into work in the late afternoon, which will be when her son gets home from school, just to be lazy in bed. It's a first from me and I'm looking forward to it.

We put off me fixing her cabinets to do more decorations around her place. I will tell you going out with them is a bit rough on me. It's like when I get Eric. I go from no kid to 24/7 kid and it takes a while for me to acclimate. With this its single guy to family guy. Her son tries to come between us a lot when we're out too.

I'll talk to Asp about taking him out for Christmas. Saturn girl was suppose to do it yesterday, but forgot all about it. I told him if she never called let me know and I would take him out so he could get his mom a present.

It was very funny this morning when I told Asp I would be back over at her house Wednesday. I know she wanted me back over tonight, but I need to know what's going on with the landlord. Also I just need my time and my life. It's what makes me interesting and healthy and I want to keep it that way.

German girl has already picked up on how I talk about Asp different from anyone else I've dated. I know it's true since I feel different with her than I have with anyone else.

The View

I was telling OVDC and German girl that I'm trying to slow things down with Asp. Not for any red flags, but just processing time. At this point I think Asp would have me at her place every night which for 3 weeks is a bit much. I think I'll max out at 3 nights at her place. I do like Asp, but I don't want to speed through this on sex and good feelings. OVDC was saying that Asp really did like me to have me over so much which I knew. However it's always good to hear it from someone else.

I met my landlord's ex last night and she was a nice person. I do something I do a lot with people that have money or positions of power. I put them on a high pedestal which makes me feel less than. It really causes me a lot of anxiety. Their was no need for it and for many parts of the evening my medical expertise was needed. I was happy that my attorney recommendation worked out for the landlord for his will, trusts, etc. It did focus him which gave him his sanity back. The guy is a very logical person and when it's outside the box like a lot of his health is now he can become insane. I was very happy for the night because it was pretty normal which helped me. We sorted out more of my care taker job. It could be for the long haul since the house is worth a lot. I learned the people across the street started selling their house at 1.2 million and are down to 750K and still can't sell it. So I could be here for a while. The good thing is that I have friends in the industry to get a heads up when things are starting to turn.

The Photographer called today to reschedule her appointment. Why? Because she was losing a pound a day. She's being tested up the wazoo to find out the problem. I felt like saying what is everyone dying around me.

I did my stats for the office and I'm up 13% for the year from last year. I'm happy it's up, but I had hoped it would be more. I still need to make 10k more a year to be making a normal salary again instead of the McDonald wages I earn now.

Weekend Wrapup

Since I've had people on here and off, no I wasn't hit on this time at Panera. I did see some attractive women, but when I flipped it around and ask how are they making me feel it was completely different. I got to see women in a different light than my rose colored glasses can be. The night itself with the singles was hilarious. We mostly spent the night with one game, Loaded questions. I played it many years ago when I was married, but could never remember it's name. So when I found in the thrift store I was very happy. We laughed a whole lot. Mostly because we all know each other so we can joke better.

German girl has been on a tangent about L liking me a lot. As she will say that L pretty much says hands off on Facebook with all her comments. My friends will always ask what's up with us. I stick to my guns that L doesn't want me, but she doesn't want anyone else to have me. She's been that way since we broke up years ago. If I run into her somewhere, she's all full body hug and hanging off me. So I figured I'd try an experiment yesterday. L had been working with gravel in her yard all weekend and had developed calluses. After our walk I offered to massage lotion into them to help get rid of them. She turned me down. She did accept half my bagel though which is so here. Food and sex.

It was good to finally get the hike in. I really could of used it last week to deal with the week. There's just something to doing mindless physical work that helps your mental state. On that same venue, this is the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like doing work today. I'm feeling better with just scheduling 2 Saturdays a month. Having 2 days off is needed for my mental health especially as the business gets busier.

The Train has Left the Station

I finally got all caught up with all my blog reading. Only when I'm busy and can't read do I realize how many blogs I read cause they really add up fast when you don't read them. It's like rabbits on Viagra. I've been trying over the last few days to easy the load, but the unending entries was undoing all my work. I did perfect my system of who I can read fast and who I need time to read.

Yes I'm still grumbling about seeing more patients and making less money. While I know intellectually it will all work out in time. Here in the now it sucks. I am happy to know that my business is gaining ground while everyone else is losing it.

I am so looking forward to my friend's client appreciation tonight. I supplied the massage therapist for free chair massages and I can use one. OVDC is on vacation this week so I didn't get adjusted this week. With all the extra work and I've been hitting the weights heavier I can feel the toll on my body.

It's funny with German girl. We've known each other for 3 years now. Not a week has gone by that we haven't emailed each other. There is no dating chemistry between us, but we both think each other is very attractive. So it was very funny yesterday on FB when she's demanding shirtless photos of me on my hikes with L.

Tired Saturday

Well my Patient Appreciation wine tasting went very well last night. I only had 2 guest, but they each brought someone. One of the other host had 2 people show up and the last host had no one. We still had fun. Hey after a few glasses of wine they were all very happy. Being the sober person was also very enjoyable. I believe I got 2 patients out of it which is great.

I'm freakin' exhausted today. After work here this morning I'll run to the gym, some errands, and then a nap is calling me.

German girl is still working it with sending me pictures of her friend. I politely told her no thanks. Her friend isn't truly my type, plus if I have to date someone I don't want to do it up on the peninsula. I seem to have no trouble finding anyone down here whether I'm looking for a date or not.

Sorry Rabbit

Silly me, I thought I could call the IRS, wait on hold for 15 minutes, and find out what's going on with my Mom's stimulus check she was suppose to get last year. However I was informed that I couldn't do that since there were forms involved. They wanted me to mail them in, but I kept pushing for a fax number so I could move this up from weeks to days.

Went to see Wolverine with the singles last night. I would think it would be a fan boy movie, but there was a lot of women there. In our group it was just Server guy, myself, and 5 women. Seeing Hugh Jackman either flexing his muscles or running around bare ass naked I found out why all the women were paying their dollar to see.

My brother and family are in town. Since I'm hiking with L tonight I'll see them afterwards and we'll do dinner tomorrow night. I see that German girl is still trying to fix me up with one her friends. She's putting their pictures up on her MySpace page so I can check them out. I feel like I'm ordering a mail order bride. She admits that she enjoys the crazy stories too.

There Be Dragons

I'm beat. 2 days in the great outdoors will do that to you. Today we headed over to one of the historical houses, the Adam Thoroughgood house. They had a summer celebration and did it with a medieval festival. The grounds themselves were very nice. They had blacksmith making bottle openers out of metal which he stylized with a face. The wizard did a show for the kids with more jokes than any magic. The human chessboard was interesting to watch. The warriors showed us the trechnut as they launched water balloons in to the air. There were plenty of weapon displays with talks of history like the viking raids. The last thing we watched was the joust. All father's were free which I enjoyed. I tell you all those years of playing Dungeons & Dragons paid off with having to explain it to one of the singles from Japan.

Dancer is really starting to get on my nerves. I think Mary is correct that she is obsessed with me. If we can't talk only once a week I may have to end it. German girl said that the more contact we have the more that she's thinking that things are working out.

Sign of the Times

Since the economy went down the shitter, sales calls to my office have gone up. It's truly a pain. Since my main phone is my cell, I can see the numbers coming in. I have several saved that are titled "sales crap" since they just keep on calling. While this maybe a pain the increase in emails from businesses wanting to advertise on my blog has jumped from 0 to WTF in the last week. Today it was even a place from Singapore. The topper was when I got a sales text message. Holy hell. I think I need to go ape shit on someone with a golf club.

I closed my bedroom door last night which decreased Phili's interaction with me. I was asked what I want from her. Really I'm happy to be partner's in crime. We watched some Sopranos together yesterday. If we play a game or if bored we do something together I'm okay with that. While I could have a relationship with Phili I know it wouldn't be healthy for me. The problem for me is a lot of skin and too much interaction. From the singles group I know many single women. Some that I know like me very much. For me there's nothing there or I know it's not a good match. However since my interaction is occasional it's not a problem. So I'll start closing my door more so that Phili interaction is less. However I can't promise that one day I'm going to announce that I slept with her.

I can tell it's hot around here. I just downed another pint of ice cream. Yum. Love the stuff on a extremely hot day. German girl usually gets a good laugh when I do this.

Some Thoughts

Thinking more on my date with Blondie, I realized in a way we're both the same. More joking when with a group, but a serious side when one on one. German girl made a good comment on the whole thing. She said that all the touching Blondie did when we were with everyone else indicated that I was hers. Touch is possession. I remember when we went to Gordon Beirsch and we slid into the booth. My friend Kathy was going to sit next to me, but took one look at Blondie and sat on the other side. I remember being out a long time ago after L and I broke up and we ran into each other in a club. She hugged and touched me a whole bunch. I theorized that she was marking me as hers even though she was there with another guy.

The other thing she said was that if she touched me during the date I would have taken it as a come on which I have to admit I would. That by not touching me it would slow things down to get to know each other. I have to admit I am taking it slow in my mind. When we were trying to set up our sushi date. I was okay with it being next weekend. Blondie was more intense on having it happen soon.

The extra incentive Blondie brings to my life is that extra kick in the ass to get the business going. My coach always tries to get me to focus on something that business will bring me so I'll work it hard. Right now I'm doing it to be the star pupil that I seem to fit into. However I would rather have the focus be on me so that it's self perpetuating.

Anyway since we are getting together Wednesday I'll call her tomorrow night to catch up with Blondie.

Old Man Winter

Well Inverse finally got herself a new set of wheels, a Chevy truck. So she'll be happier to be able to come and go as she pleases. I'll give her my Eric's booster seat for her daughter since he no longer needs it. LOL. I know the next few years with him as he grows up I'm going to feel older.

Yes my Landlord has issues. He is looking to help people, but his problems sometimes get in the way. He has some OCD going on and if you can follow the path which really isn't hard for a normal person it's okay. The biggest thing is not to bring him into your life. These women are usually looking for someone to save them so they don't have to do the work themselves.

German girl and OVDC are still ribbing me in my non-dating status. They still can't believe it. I guess it's been 3 weeks. I know I'm starting to get the want to date again, but I want to get everything better under wraps before I venture out again. The last 2 weeks have rattled me and I want to get back to a balanced state. I know part of me would like to be in a relationship to take some of the stress away which I know would be the wrong reason.

Well old man winter actually arrived today. While we only got a dusting of snow. There is plenty of ice all around and it's only getting colder. I think I might skip the usual Monday meeting with the guys to stay off the roads.

Rainy Saturday

Pool was on the menu today for the singles. We had some newbies show up which was great. It was nice to see that they got it, and wanted to be social, and make friends. It was also great that we were all at the same skill level which really isn't saying much. While impressive pool shots were not the norm, although I did lob a ball about 2 feet across the table. With the rain the place was packed with people looking for something to do. It's a big sports place so college hoops was also taking many peoples attention.

I see to be having a surge of new friends on Facebook. I even picked up L as a friend. She was a good person to talk to while we wee dating so small talk now a days is fun. I can't believe it was 2 years ago that we were dating.

German girl thinks my ex is getting some and that's why she's in a nicer mood to me. I don't know, but I'm just enjoying the time.

Bedtime for Bonzo

God I hate doing paperwork. It's not even paperwork I could pass on to a peon. To make matters worse I'm tired. Is it from being out late partying or meeting new women to date? No since I found out I don't have to leave the comfort of my recliner to do that. Nope I just got up an hour early. I had a full night sleep, but when I have to get up that hour early a 2-3 times a week I feel the difference the whole day.

I tell you I have to laugh at myself. I'm coming to grips that I don't seem to have a problem meeting women. German girl and OVDC would be happy that I have found acceptance. Never in a million years would I imagine I would be here. I remember how it was 3 years ago when I started dating again after divorce. Although I have to admit that the dating world has changed a lot since then. Online dating has become the norm and the assholes of life have invaded it making it pretty much useless now. So walking up to someone and asking them out in now in vogue.

Did I already say I hate doing paperwork? I did well I need a few more minutes of procrastinating.

I'll call Barker later to schedule tomorrow. In the morning I'm doing my yearly volunteering for the SPCA. It's reading month and I take an animal to one of the local elementary schools, read to them, and teach them about animals. It's always a great time. I wonder what animal I'll get this year.

Now I just need to stay awake for the Funny Bone tonight with the singles.

'Ere We Go Again

I think I'm not meant to get out of the dating pool. A few years ago German girl contacted me on MySpace. Because of summer schedules with Eric and her vacation we never got to connect for a while. So when there was no chemistry, we had been communicating so long we stayed friends. I have to admit we stay in better contact then most of my friends.

Anyway my friends have talked me into Facebook. I really don't get these sites. I only keep my MySpace page for free Funnybone tickets. Anyway I do keep in contact with a few people on Facebook. So when I got an invite to be some one's friend I figured it's like the 20 different sex ones I get with MySpace. However it's a woman from NY. I don't see the harm so I say yes. These leads to a bunch of conversing and some flirting. One thing I don't do it this for a long time. So I asked her out for Starbucks tomorrow. She said tomorrow wasn't good, but another time. I told her let me know when she was available and left it at that. Nothing lost. If we ever go out I'll give her a nickname. And I thought I would be single for a while.

It's a Major Award

I do want to thank all you ladies for my award for email asking out the Tech girl. Hey I know it wasn't the best, but I always try to strike while the iron is hot. Also I have problems with instant gratification at times. Anyway you'll all be happy to know she emailed me her cell number to call her today. I wasn't quite sure it was going to happen, but I see she's read the book on dating schedules.

German girl is laughing her ass off that again I'm going through the tunnel for a woman. She's always wanted me to do so. Actually she's wanted me to come all the way up to Williamsburg which is a minimum of an hour depending where you are in the city. I don't think so. Besides the driving I have to admit I'm not moving. I've spent way too much blood, sweat, and tears in building my practice. Moving is never an option. You lose 25% of your patients with each move. I loss more when I moved the 2 blocks from my last place. The peninsula would be like starting over.

Today has been my usual relaxing Sunday. Sleeping in late and not getting much done. Well actually I rummaged through my storage unit. I found a bunch of books that I'll drop off at the thrift store. Threw out a bunch of broken dishes and the last of my ex pictures that were in a box. I found some of my books on talking to your kids about sex. I read them when Eric was young so I figured I could brush up on everything. It really did help paving the ground work when he was young. Every time I interact with him I can always tell he's my son. We're just the same in how we express our love, communicate, etc.

I think I'll give Tech girl an option. She's coming down Wednesday for our museum event, but that will be done by 8. I know she's coming straight from work so we could grab something to eat then. Or just have our own night some other time.