Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Revelations in the Land

I just realized that Mother's day is next week. Since I've been taking care of my Mom with her dementia the day has lost all meaning. However this time around I'm actually dating someone who is a mother. I'm so holiday challenged. I'll get her a pair of ear rings for the occasion.

Dinner at Kitcat's was fun last nice. It was great seeing her. Her son was dragging his feet with doing homework so we never made it down to the pool or hot tub which worked out for me since I didn't have a suit. I'm going to have to pack a Kitcat bag to keep in my car for different scenarios since most of out get togethers are spur of the moments.

I'm working it hard today with the anxiety and its' much less. The usual with me. I need to be in enough pain with something before I make the decision to full commit to change no matter how much I may not like it.

I have to admit I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow and cleaning out my extra room for the MT1. I've pulled most of the important stuff out of there that will stay in there. Now the place looks like a demilitarized zone. I like my order. In truth the biggest problem will be the 3 trips down to storage to get rid of it all.

Home life is now like a trip to Oz. The landscaper is now in full swing and shrubs, white rocks, etc are not doting the property. You have to understand I've been here 5 years and any green was moss on the dirt. Now to see this well organized landscape is truly unreal.

Anxious Moments

I'm getting tired of my anxiety filled days. Having been off medication since September it's become a daily thing. While I was medicated this wasn't a problem and I didn't even know it. Now that I'm on my own its a workout. I'm not anxiety ridden all day, but I have to work at it to keep my serenity. I have to admit I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop even when things are going good. I'm the best person at taking away my own happiness. However since I know I can talk myself in off the ledge I can rid myself of this problem. The problem is just getting to point that I'm sick and tired of it and want to do something about it. Just being a problem isn't enough. Weird I know. However today the gauntlet has been thrown. What changed? Well before leaving the office last night, I had a bunch of things happen like dominoes, but they were all good things. However by the end I was anxious as hell most likely because I feel the loss of control like on a roller coaster. I was angry cause good stuff was happening and I was being negative about it. I know this will prevent it from happening again if I keep putting a negative connotation to these events and I work to hard to keep stopping myself.

The Photographer invited me to the Funny Bone last night. I hadn't planned on going since Kitcat couldn't make it, but since she had done all the work why not. It was a very interesting show. The MC had cerebral palsy and not lightly. However he was hilarious and had a quick wit. The second guy was okay and the headliner was good. They taped the show for the headliner and MC for their show coming on TV.

I finally broke down and made a Facebook page for my business. If you want daily health care tips on sleeping, stress, etc. Take a look.

Well this week is turning out to almost be descent. Now I'm getting ready for my weekly beach walk with L then Kitcat invited me over for sloppy joes with her son. I feel bad for her. That time in your life when you separate and divorce can be like you keep getting hit and never see a break. I remember it well and not to fondly.

Climb that Mountain

Well I got the notice that my ex's dad will be dead in the next few days. I've dreaded this time coming for years since I know it will devastate her and therefore affect Eric. I'm not quite sure how she'll handle it or be afterwards. As long as she doesn't come knocking on my door I'll be happy.

Well the office seems to have gotten a jump start as the phone has been ringing this week which is a blessing. I need to finish paying off the income tax for the business and with no extra income coming in its kind of hard which brings me to my next comment. I like the warm weather. Why you may ask? Well I'll tell you. Women seem to fall out of their clothes better. I'm in my business meeting this morning listening and taking notes from the woman next to me. It's then that I realize that I indeed just saw what I thought I saw. Her bra had done a poor job of lassoing her breast in and was hanging out in her shirt. Hey I'm a guy I like this stuff even though I'm an ass man. Remember the only reason your butt is in the back is so you don't look at it all day long.

Today has been rearranging my workspace for the coming massage therapist. Like all things, extra space soon gets filled with something. Right now I'm downsizing a filing cabinet, dresser, and storage cabinet down to a 2 x 3 foot area that not all together. Yeah that's my problem too. Actually its allowing me to stream line the area and get rid of stuff that's just sitting there. Now to do some touch ups on the paint and spruce up the office someway. I'll probably need to ask Kitcat for some help on that. I'm proud to admit I'm a guy and have very limited fashion ability.

On that note I was happy for Kitcat on getting a job offer while still finishing up her studies. I know having money coming in will help relieve her stress levels.
I went to see the Green Zone last night starring Matt Damon. It was a good movie, but bring a barf bag. Holy crap that camera needed a shock absorber. Most of the movie is bouncing around and half way through it I thought I was going to lose it. The other problem was that I got there late due to a patient. A newbie from the meetup group was suppose to be there, but I couldn't see him in the dark. Afterwards I thought I saw him and started talking to this guy who turned out not to be him. However was very happy to regale me with a long winded tale of his 25 years in the service.

Life of Riley

Well a milestone was hit today. Kitcat called me "honey". Hey it made my day and like I said before its the little things for me. We got to talk about where we both were in our lives. For me I had the fear of not being successful enough, but she was okay with where I was in pulling my life back together. I have to admit in all my relationships this is the first one that I feel like something is growing.

I don't miss Asp, but I'm starting to see how I needed that relationship to have the one I have with Kitcat. They're both different women than I'm use to dating. A lot more assertive. Faced with adversity I'll back off and learn to adapt to the situation. Kitcat stands her ground and fights for what she wants. I know its why we probably like each other with each wanting a piece of the other. The other point is that sex is a little rougher with these two. I don't mind it, but having the practice with Asp kept my options open with Kitcat.

Robyn reminded me yesterday of my friends comment about my life when I moved down here to Virginia Beach. He always use to refer to me living the life of Riley. Honestly if I was making a decent salary I wouldn't have any real complaints. My life down here has been the best in my life even though I've been through some of the worst events in my adult life. One of the reasons I moved down here was to enjoy everything that the area had to offer and I try to do that on a regular basis. My next mission is to barter with a personal trainer to get a little more muscle and tone.

Now on the other end of the spectrum. My attempts at really putting my nose to the grindstone is getting some resistance. I really need to go back to really blocking my day out again so that I'm not all over the place. Even though I may not be seeing patients I need to have specific time to do all my admin and marketing stuff. I have too many extra stuff to suck my time up. The business people that I know that really soar have it really regimented and I need that better. So I have to start making a time and place for everything.

Well one more patient today and then off to see the Green Zone with the singles. It seems to be new guy night so I'm hoping they show.

Don't Touch my Wookie

Do you know why I like Kitcat? Well I'll tell you. I went over to her place late last night after she had been napping from her camping trip. Now the funny thing is when I get there I have to call her to wake up to let me in. Yes this has happened more than once. Seeing how tired she was, I adjusted her first so if she conked back out she would at least feel better. After talking, sex, and dinner we found ourselves back on the couch. Only this time I was the one conking out. So I asked if she minded me going to bed. Kitcat said we didn't have to go to bed at the same time. Yeah its the little things for me.

My life lesson for today is that never get a haircut following a massage. MT1 will be the nickname for the new massage therapist in the office since she'll be around for a while hopefully. Anyway I had her give me a massage today to see if she was any good. I tell you getting a massage first thing in the office makes it hard to put your nose to the grindstone with work. While I was very relaxed, I was also covered in massage oil. Let me tell you cut hair likes to stick to oil. I've learned how to get rid of all the hair that is usually still on me. However today none of that is working and I'm feeling like a wookie as I keep wiping something and a bunch of cut hair is there.

Anyway now I have to clean out my extra room for the massage therapist. Not quite sure where I'm going to store all the stuff I have in there in the office. I might be making more trips to the storage unit than I would like.
I was pissed today that my license renewal seminar was cancelled and all the other ones in the state have already passed. So the next closest is Philadelphia which I'll probably be going to in June. I was happier with the one hour drive instead of 5.
The office phone is starting to be active again which is nice. I was talking to a friend this morning and said I know there is a lesson here for me somewhere. Since when I get stuck like this, I know its a strong nudge to get moving. Most likely its getting out of my comfort zone. So tomorrow I'll be calling the DCs a little away from me to talk to them.

Taste of Heritage

Today was the Taste of India event with my singles group. The turn out for my group was small since many of my members went with another eating out group. So we combined to walk around. Secret Agent man is in both groups and I've known him for years. He was trying to get me to joining their group. His jaw dropped when I told him I really didn't care that much for food. "You're shitting me," was his response. Eating out and drinking events rarely happen on my watch because of that. I always choose doing something besides eating events.

Anyway the food was good as was the entertainment. The colorful costumes were very attractive and I'm shocked at the difference to most European colors which are more bland. While I enjoyed myself, the event made me sad. I'm Italian and Filipino, but have no heritage. At some point my Mom made the decision to sterilize everything. It started with my older brother and continued down to me. They had a bit more than me growing up in Brooklyn neighborhoods that were culture controlled. For me I never met another Filipino person until I was in chiropractic college. I always had contact with the Italian side of the family, but it was never strong.

Seeing everyone proud of their heritage today and when I talk to Kitcat about all her family events I feel sad at what I missed out on. When I was growing up it was fun not to be dragged to all the family events that my friends dreaded going to. However as an adult I see I missed out on some important things of feeling apart of something bigger than feeling apart from.

Movie Watching

I seem to be in a slump of bad movies. Since Kitcat is camping with her son this weekend I knew I would have free nights. So I rented out some movies from the library to keep myself occupied. Whew I picked some snooze fest winners with the Curse of the Golden Flower, Lymelife, Protector, and Pirates of Caribbean 3 movie.

My presentation went well today. It was a small crowd which the church was apologetic for. However I know how it goes when trying to get people to any kind of event. Speaking of that tomorrow is Taste of India event for the singles. The funny thing is that many people wanted to do it and now that its on the schedule very few people are coming. However I had some Indian food yesterday when my neighbor at work invited me over to their pot luck lunch. It was so good that I can't wait for tomorrow's event.

Overall it was a slow and relaxing day. I was suppose to get together with friends in the early evening, but with that being cancelled I've had more free time than I wanted today. I'm hoping that doesn't happen tomorrow. It does remind me that I need to call my friend for that free dance lesson to see if I can learn timing.

I Even Surprise Myself

One of the things I realized after my hypno session Wednesday is that I spread things out to much. Since I don't confine my work, admin and marketing, to normal business hours I end up doing 7 days a week. While this means I don't have many crunch times, it does mean that I'm always working at some level. This realization slammed into me Wednesday and I've been reeling every since. I just want to relax. The problem is that the office is slow now so I can't. However I know the importance of rest since I preach it to my patients daily. So besides the presentation I have tomorrow I want to put down all work this weekend and relax. Then starting Monday have what I need to get done listed and stay until its finished. While I don't want to beat myself with a stick I believe I need more structure to get things done in a timely manner.

I have to admit that once a week I go through this phase that Kitcat is breaking up with me. It's nothing, just I'm sensitive to change in behavior. If we usually see each other, talk/text at a certain time, etc and it doesn't happen I start to worry. I'm starting to believe I was born to worry. While I enjoy my relationship with Kitcat and when I'm with her I'm cool as a cucumber. These little things pop up. With her I've found out that I have anxieties that I didn't know were there. Happy days. I try to look at it as a way to keep on growing, but I have to admit my first reaction is I can't believe myself. I do have to admit my biggest fear with her is that I'm not successful enough and she'll leave me. Like always its just an insane fear of mine.

I'll have the massage therapist come by Monday to give me a massage so I can see if she is any good. The contract I finished writing up today so that is done. The biggest thing I have to make sure she knows is not to depend on me for business. I don't want that stress. I'm sure my patients will use her, but if I have to feed her I want more money for it.

Snuggles & Massages

Kitcat enjoyed my thank you card very much. I find it interesting that she say, "you're a sweet man". I guess I'm use to something more sappy. No complaints, but its just different. She was not in the mood to study last night so I went over later in the evening. An hour hypnosis session is equal to 8 hours of sleep so I was still pretty awake. Kitcat wasn't. She fell asleep in my arms pretty quickly while we relaxed on the couch. When I pulled her to the bedroom since I wasn't sleeping on the couch. I could see she was concerned that I would be upset that we weren't having sex. I told her it was okay since I was very happy to snuggle with her. hey I'm the first to admit I'm a horn dog, but I really enjoy holding Kitcat. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I find it very pleasurable and relaxing.

The only bump in the road for us was that her alarm didn't go off for some reason. So after sex I was sprinting out the door which has colored my day today. It's Thursday and slow patient wise in the office so I usually make it meeting day. Oye! I feel like all I'm doing today is racing around. The good thing is that I'm still very relaxed from yesterday cause this kind or running around increases my anxiety levels.

The massage therapist that came in the other day in hopes of renting my empty room stopped by today and we got to settle some more things. I'll have her give me a massage Monday to see how she is. Today I'm surveying my patients to see if they want a massage therapist in the office. It could be a nice source of income for me if it works out.

Getting All Relaxed

Well I had my hypnotherapy session today, and let me tell you I'm the most relaxed I've ever been in my life. Great sex may tie it, but it's sort of different since this had no vigorous physical activity. I'm way more relaxed than any massage I ever had. Being hypnotized was different than I thought it would be. I really thought my mind would be all zen like, but it was hyperactive like a child on crack. I was happy she had informed me of this before we started or I would have been worried. I tell you when she had me visualize all my stress and anxiety draining away I thought I was going to be an empty tub with nothing left inside me. At least now I have a good resource for my stress filled patients.

So I'm feeling pretty good now which is a good thing since it was an anxiety filled morning. I was awoken this morning with the sounds of construction on the house. While my bedroom may be my sanctuary, rough sounds still make me anxious. It's still a old tape from my parents arguing when I went to bed when I was a young child. Hearing stuff at the edges just creates a low level of anxiety that I have a hard time relaxing with. Since I was young I've known that if I awake anxious it will color my whole day. So I've always worked on waking up in a relaxed state.

The other item was this massage therapist looking for a place. I'm crazy I know it. I want one in the office and now that I have one applying I'm anxious about it since I feel like I'm losing control since she wants a few concessions. Mostly she wants the room being spruced up since it doesn't get much use now so I don't do much with it. Talking with Kitcat today about it helped as we talked about different hiring plans. I agreed with her in that they fall under the beauty industry category since they are a flaky bunch. With the information I got and talking about the subjet helped calm me down. One of my bigger problems is that I'm a focuser. In some areas its a good thing and in others its a total liability. Here its a liability since I can already feel myself closing myself off to other possibilities. I quickly go to what's better for them than what's better for me. My classic mistake. So I'm trying not to leave myself hanging if this person doesn't work out.

When Kitcat drove me home last night I asked if she was picking me up in the morning or was I staying at her place. I had been wondering why we weren't seeing each other since she didn't have her son. I got my answer. Kitcat said she can't study most of her subjects when I'm around. I have to admit she does know what will lead us to having sex and can stay focused on how to avoid it when things need to get done. I was very surprised to find that the bar is very low.

What is Revealed

It's turning out to be an interesting day. Pretty much everything Kitcat and I talked about this morning has happened. We talked about radio advertising. Guess what? An employee of a radio producer I know stopped by to ask me to come on the show again. So I'll be back on the Specialist Radio hour again next month. They also asked about sponsorship, but I know they don't have enough people in my region to make it worth my while. I was able to put Kitcat's information into use hear which was helpful.

We talked about massage therapists today and my quest to find one that would want to grow their practice instead of living off of me. Guess what? A lady walked in today from one of the upscale spas in the area looking for a place. We gelled nicely and we are both thinking about it. The difference here is what Kitcat pointed out. You need one that has to pay the rent. Right now the ones I have seem like they need beer money. So we talked about what it would be like. She talked about sprucing the office up since my color scheme is kind of bland.

The last thing of the day is the biggest and something Kitcat and I didn't talk about. My car won't be finished today since they need to order the part, but will be done in the morning. They had to take the airbag off and stuff and it's too labor intensive to put back together. So what did I have to do? I had to ask Kitcat for a ride again. While this may not seem like much, this is huge for me. I've not had to rely on someone for stuff for a long time. Now I'm completely dependent on her for transportation for the next 18 hours. I have to admit I'm a bit anxious on it. This is new territory for me since I usually have some measure of control in a situation and I don't feel that way now. Since I've been divorced, anything that someone did for me I could do for myself. Not this time and its got me going. Kitcat already had in her mind that she would pick me up. So it's no problem on her end. The interesting thing is when she said yes I got misty eyed about it. I'm finding out that I toughened up a lot over the years without even knowing about it. As usual survival skills run wild.

A Helping Hand

Chatting with Kitcat last night I said that I would be dropping my car off today for repair and biking into work. She said she would pick me up and I told her she didn't have to drive across town for me. Kitcat said it was only 15 minutes and I know I would do it no problem if the tables were turned. So I agreed and we set up a time that I would call this morning to set it up.
The asking for help thing came up again when I hopped in her jeep. She was like you should have asked, but my answer was the same she gave me a few weeks ago. She completely understood. It's been so long since I've had someone to rely on both in singledom and marriage. I will always say I grew up alone being a latch door kid. Self reliance was a survival skill and it still plays today. I remember when my engine blew a few years ago when I was dating the planner. I was going to bike and bus to work during the height of the summer. She was like you're nuts. Just rent a car. With that the landlord lent me one his trucks and I was set for the week. Not being able to rely on my ex for help when we were married has really reinforced my inability to ask for help in relationships since it was my defining major one in adulthood.

When we got back to my office I asked Kitcat if she wanted treatment. I know she has a history of an old accident with reoccurring pain. So while I worked on her, she shared me with me a lot of marketing information, volunteered contacts, and equipment. While superficially I knew most of what she was talking about, but she really got in depth with it all. I was very touched by it all. In my past relationships I'm the one putting a lot into it, but my return was very low. It was really nice to be given something freely in a relationship. It's one of those, "oh this is how its suppose to happen" realizations. So I just dropped a "thank you" card in the mail to show how much it meant to me.

One of my guest at our business group this morning made a crack about my fast talking. It's my Achilles heel. Years ago I asked all of me closest friends and that was the only problem anyone could come up for me. I've tried to make corrections myself over the years and I'm better than I use to be, but I still have awhile to go. However I know it affects all my relationships business and personal. Just makes it tough when you can't understand what I'm saying. So I made a appointment with my hypnotherapist friend of mine. She asked if I'd like to trade services which I was all over. I know my speech rate is anxiety based and know it will respond well to her treatment. So here's to talking slow.

The Other Shoe

My car started giving me problems last night. It does this every once in a while. When shifting from 2nd to 3rd gear it can buck if I give too much gas. Do it slow and steady, no problem. However this puts a negative spin on every thing. I start waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. What will it be? It's never a good thing when this happens since I can't even put a smile on my face when it happens. I'm taking the car in to get the airbag fixed tomorrow so I can pass inspection. This new problem will have to wait since it normally goes away in a day.

I started my talking to other people about business and marketing. MK lady was first up this morning. It was very helpful to me to get a different view point on what I do and sales in general. Hopefully OVDC and I will get together Wednesday for our talk. I stopped by there today for my treatment and I answered business questions for her, but I do want to pick her brain on general stuff she does around the office.

Kitcat and I got together last night. I helped her with hanging a few things around her place. It looked nice with pictures hanging on the wall now. It's still coming together. I have to admit when its just the two of us we have a great ole time talking. While I have nothing against the Boy Scouts, I'm not a big fan over the next month. Kitcat's son has a bunch of events with them and with her weekends with him it's going to be slim pickings with each of us seeing each other. This time around its going to be a full week. Not really happy about that.

Turning Tricks

I tell you, just when I think I've heard it all my Meetup group proves me wrong. One of my members who is getting close to the end of her grace period of her membership emailed me yesterday. Not once, not twice, but four times. The first time was call me. Like WTF? I only met you once for about 10 minutes. The second was her phone number. The last 2 were just a continued statement. You see she lost her job around the time she joined the group. Her issues were that they weren't many events up by her which is not that case. John does and awesome job with events. However he is one person so the events don't cater to everyone. The second is that she believes that there are many members in the group like her that have low funds. The last point is that maybe someone will pay for her at events. Truly WTF? Unless you're turning tricks in the parking lot I don't think complete strangers are going to be paying for you to go out and have fun.

Talking about self fulfilling prophecy. I was cleaning up to go upstairs last night and I put my cordless phone in my back pocket, got everything in my arms and then the phone rang. No one has the number except Kitcat. So in trying to get the phone I lost the call. So I called her to see if it was her and it wasn't, but we ended up talking for a while. Then she asked if she could call me back since she needed to run to the bathroom. 30 minutes later I'm feeling like I'm getting blown off. We texted this morning some and I'll see her tonight. I'll find out what happened since I just feel it was bit rude and weird.

Dancing Fever

Well tonight was my patient appreciation dance. It was fun as last year, although this time around we were plagued with poor turnout. However it was the perfect match of men and women that we had 3 couples. With 2 instructors it was like private lessons. Marvin showed us bolero, but taught us rumba and the waltz. I have to admit I had forgotten how much fun dancing is when you know what you're doing. Marvin wants me to come in for a free lesson to see if I can learn timing which is what made me stop last time I was taking lessons. Picking the beat out of the song is way too hard for me. He's promising a miracle so we'll see. So I'll keep my dancing shoes out for a while.
I find it strange to admit, but at times I just see Kitcat dumping me at some point. What's strange is that its based on nothing with her. I think it's happened with women in the past that I really liked. If I had to guess its an old tape playing of not getting what I want from when I was a kid. I have to admit when it comes to my mind its what I realize, but I would never of imagined that I had been, what would be a good word, scarred? I hear others talk about past relationship problems haunting them and I thought I was good in that arena. But lo and behold I'm suffering from it too.

Circle of Friends

Last night Kitcat invited me down to the beach with her son, a friend, and her kids. It was a nice time and perfect weather. The temperature was just right as was the light breeze and empty beach. The kids were cute playing together, especially since the new kids had never been to the beach before. So it was a nice relaxing time.

Then it was off to another of Kitcat's friend's homes for a BBQ. I know she has been close to this guy friend for years and I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I got there. A frat party wasn't it. When we pulled up I saw all these guys smoking on the garage and playing beer pong. Okay. It was a bit surreal for me since most of the people there were in their 20's. Kitcat's friend I think is around 30. Nice guy, but a prime example of guys. He looks like a party guy who will screw any woman he can get his hands on. The rest of the lot was just younger versions of him.

I asked Kitcat afterwards how many people she knew there and she informed that it was just her friend. I was concerned since our friends do say a lot about ourselves and I had just experienced diametric opposites in the same night with Kitcat. I know we have friends for different aspects of our lives so I'll see what else is revealed as time goes by. I have to admit some of the shine was removed from the relationship last night.

The funny thing with Kitcat and me is that she has manly qualities and I have female. One of the things I like about her is she is direct like a guy. She found out one of my female qualities last night. I came back from the bathroom to find Kitcat, her friend, and another guy playing who would you do with the girls at the BBQ. She asked me. I told her the blond because she seemed the nicer of people. Kitcat informed me that wasn't the criteria they were using. I told her I need more than a pretty face. At times I wish I didn't, but I know I need some kind of connection to have sex with a woman no matter how pretty she is.

Tonight is my patient appreciation dance. It's a smaller crowd than last year, but hopefully everyone will have a fun time.

Proud Poppa

Well I'm one proud poppa today. Eric informed me last night that he is Student of the Month at his school. I was very happy. It was interesting since Kitcat and I were talking about our schooling the other day. I was a solid "B" student in school. It's a bit hard, but I'll admit I'm an intelligent person. I didn't know it then, but I rarely studied and got my "B". If I pushed myself I probably could have gotten "A's", but my childhood was a bit like Lord of the Flies. My Mom rarely enforced good study habits and when she did I rebelled against them since it only happened once in a blue moon. Chiropractic college was where I really had to start developing good study habits to pass anything. It was a bit of a surprise to have to learn the skill in my 20's. However I seem to be always behind the curve in learning stuff.

I'm not quite sure where all the new patients went at work. Usually at this time of year it gets busier with people getting more active with the warm weather. However this month, the number of new patients is way down. Not good when I'm trying to grow the business. Plus pay taxes and a car repair.

Kitcat and I talked a little less than normal yesterday. She was very upset since the representative of her business landlord caused her to shut her business down after 3 years. It's a long story, but mostly involves that her name was not on the lease her ex was and the representative was making it a problem due to an altercation they had last year. Kitcat found out last night the landlord didn't know anything about this and would have worked with her to fix the problem. However the damage is already done since she shut everything down and moved clients other places. I felt bad for her. I know from past business dealing it only takes one person to make a complete cluster fuck out of something.

Role Reversal

Now that I'm toothbrush worthy, I wonder what else is on the horizon for me and Kitcat. I truly have no idea how relationships work and grow. When I was married I truly just fumbled my way through it just trying to keep my ex happy which was a huge pit of despair let me tell you. My parents divorced when I was 18 months and never remarried. My brother is on his 3rd marriage and I have to admit I never thought this last one would last this long. So who am I to say. I never try to move fast in a relationship, but things just seem to happen. I'm not quite sure if I like that or not. When I was younger "things just happening" was a great way not to take responsibility for things. Without tooting my own horn I know I'm the "nice guy" and my picture is probably in the dictionary under that term. I know Kitcat likes me and I think that these happening are her way of letting me know that. Plus I think not to lose me.

I have to admit I like it. To have someone think you're special and have actions to follow it up say a lot. I like independent assertive women. The problem that I've found is that most of them don't want to give up their lifestyles while still wanting a relationship. I feel the sexes have been reversed. Me the guy is looking for a relationship and the women are just wanting a good time. The good thing is that I hear it from other guys too cause this new way really screws with my reality of the world.

I slept in my bed last night after a many day hiatus. I have to admit I awoke this morning with a stiff back. Women will always point out that my bed is too hard, but I like it. However I think too many days in a row got me use to Kitcat's bed.

I was hoping to bring my car in for repairs today. I don't like doing this. I'm still traumatized from when I brought my old car in years ago and walked out with a huge bill when all was said in done. The people I have work on my car nowadays I trust, but that old fear is still there.

A New Home

I forgot to mention my travel toothbrush now has a new home. When I walked in Kitcat's bathroom yesterday morning I found that my toothbrush had been taken from its case and place in her holder. I have to admit this is a first for me. I've had condoms stay at a woman's house, but nothing else. So this is a big thing for me. It reminds me of when my ex and I were first dating and she made the heart with our initials in it. Never had it happen before and it touched me. So I'm really liking the toothbrush residence.

I was suppose to see Crazy Heart with the singles last night. However I really wasn't in the mood for a heavy movie. So I went cause I had people coming, but no one ever showed up. So I voted with my feet and left to go home. On the way there I realized that I'm not going to be seeing Kitcat till next week since she gets her son back tonight. So when we were talking on the phone I told her I would like to see her. Last night made it 5 out of the last 6 nights at her place. I'm starting to feel like a tourist at my place.

This morning was the first of my Stress Management presentations that I'm doing. I was happy to see it go over well. The one thing I noticed and it could just be totally me, but I think I'm starting to relax and talk slower. I'll need to ask Kitcat what she thinks. Actually she hasn't said anything about this which is surprising. Since someone always says something about the rate of my speech.

Where in the World am I?

Hey it's the small things. I had readers in 4 different countries on the same day which made me very happy. I check my stats daily to see what's going on, how many subscribers since more than are not followers, and to see where people are coming from. It gives me a nice boost for the day to see what's happening.

I'm freakin' tired today. I ended up going to Kitcat's place last night. When we talked, she sounded different. So I asked if she was tired or stuffed up. What I found out is that she had been crying. Her family has chosen her ex over her in an upcoming wedding for her cousin. Kitcat was upset since she knew her mother was at the bottom of it all. So I asked her if she wanted me to come over. She considered it and said yes. Later when we talked about it she admitted that she's been on her own for a long while and had gotten out of the habit of asking for help. I've been there and there are still areas of my life that I don't like holidays. So we hung out on her couch so she could have a bit of cry and then we relaxed watching TV. I conked out earlier than her and I have to admit I was out cold for the night.

Her cats have gotten use to the fact that I have usurped their position on the bed. I felt them book ending my feet through the night. It being Tuesday morning, I had to get up early for my meeting. I tell you I could really get use to having someone to curl up and cuddle with. I see how I am with holidays with no one around. They are meaningless days with the only difference that everyone else is busy and stores are closed. I'm starting to see that being alone has affected how I work too. I don't mind working cause what else am I going to do. Waking up the last several days next to Kitcat is starting to instill a desire in me to have time off so I can enjoy more of this time. Over the years I've looked for things to motivate me, but since they weren't tangible they never lasted. So we'll see what happens now.

I'm still taking baby steps with contacting higher ups in my field. I asked MK lady to meet for Starbucks to talk sales since she is very good in her field. I'm looking at all my deficits and trying to find people to help me fill them in.

Pinning it on You

I've spent 3 out of the last 4 nights over at Kitcat's place. We're enjoying each others time and I have to admit we have a great time just talking. Our conversations are starting to be peppered with revelations of family of origin issues. Things seem to be moving along the way they should be. I can see Kitcat is a little insecure with little things in her life since so much is going on. Like last night she was having a nightmare so I just put my arm fully around her and pulled her close and she seemed to quiet down. She was apologetic about waking me and I told her that I had no clue if she woke me or something else did. Since the oceanfront is good for some loud, weird sound at all times of the night.

Kitcat did pull out a picture of what she looked like when she had thyroid problems and had gained a lot of weight. I wouldn't have been able to pick her out of a line up. She looked so different it was amazing.

On the other foot is that Kitcat talks about when she gets back on her feet fully and I know she will. She's very goal oriented and works things out nicely. However this gets me since I still struggle to get back to where I want to be and its been a few years. This brings me back to my homework from my business coach. So today I set up a lunch with OVDC. While she is not a top business person she does have the office I would want so why not tap into that first. Over the next week I'll start calling around the area to talk to other DCs.

I tell you sometimes a feel like I'm playing God with my Mom. For my whole life, getting blood drawn from my Mom was always a problem. She has very tiny veins and you have to be really good to do so or she becomes a pin cushion. Since she has a artificial heart valve she needs to take a blood thinner. This needs to be monitored. Most of the problems she has now are from the strokes she had when her levels went awry. The levels have been stable for a long while now. I've asked her doctor to see if she can just have a stable dose of her blood thinner since they now need to have a specialist come in to get blood from my Mom.

Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?

Well Kitcat and I rolled pass 3 weeks together yesterday. Since most of you know I over think things I'll share this with you. Not that I'm making a big thing about it, I was wondering when are we a relationship. I found these statistics at Top Dating Tips.

When does a date become a relationship ?

1. 1 week 3%
2. 1 month 17%
3. 2 months 20%
4. 6 months 13%
5. Once we have had sex 13%
6. Once I have met the parents 8%
7. Once we have been on vacation 0%
8. Once we have moved in together 0%
9. When he/she says I love you 25%

Seeing these results, I feel better not really having a definition or exact point. For me I would say its when we have sex and have decided to keep seeing each other exclusively. I'm not in high school so I don't make a big thing about it. I will do something for a one month point. Asp was the first one to have it be a mention worthy event. Mostly that came from Saturn girl asking her if we were bf & gf. I believe that was somewhere after a month. How do you define it?

I have to admit Kitcat is the first women to go onto my dating chart before we've broken up. I didn't realize it until I left blank who broke it up. However I have to admit its a good thing to do while the relationship is happening since I'm writing down the good and bad things about her. So far she has only two items marked red (bad) against a bunch of green (good)stuff. The two bad items being her health which is weirdly a positive. Kitcat had gastric bypass surgery years ago and it has caused some health problems. One being her diabetes and the other some absorption problems. However to counter act all of that she eats very healthy, is very active, and exercises regularly. I know I need to ask her about your ab work out. The other is that she is still separated. I told myself I wouldn't go out with a separated woman, but its been 3 years and the hold up is her ex signing the papers. Something I remember fondly with my ex.

Happy to say that I'll get together with her later tonight after she finishes studying and some work related stuff.

The Strange Sounds of Survival

I'm getting tired of the hum of activity around the house 7 days a week. Don't these guys every take a break? Monday through Friday I'm use to since I'm not around much and it is the work week. I'm starting to get use to Saturday afternoons with workers moving around the property. I tell you it could be robbers for all I know with so many different faces. Anyway today I'm having some lunch and watching some Coupling episodes when I hear the rumble of a large vehicle. Since I'm way off the beaten path I know it's for the house, but it's Sunday. I look out the window and one guy with a cherry picker truck is here to trim some of the trees. I thought this was a multiple person job and doesn't he know its Sunday?

Just like I have a hard time sleeping in new places cause new sounds cause me to wake up. The same goes for new sounds around my place. Unknown sounds cause me to get on edge. When I was very young my parents would mostly wait for me to be in bed before they argued the night away. For a short period of time my Mom would just come home upset and start to beat me. Listening for sounds has become a survival skill. Towards the end of our marriage my ex reinforced this. She would be upset and unable to sleep and would get more enraged that I would sleep. So she would pop on in with a fury and shine a flashlight in my face, yell, or drop pieces of paper on me in which hateful words were written. Holy shit you should have seen her if I locked the door.

So I've headed out to Starbucks to get away from it all and get some work done. I can usually talk myself in from the edge with this kind of stuff. Its always harder with women due to my past. However sometimes its just easier to move myself.

Stringing it High

When you have Facebook, everyone you know and their mailman wants to be your friend. Not quite sure why. Do we need proof that we nice people and have friends? Or are being collected like a bunch of dime store knickknacks? Anyway people from my singles group usually want to be my friend at some point no matter how little they come. I have one lady who comes to one event a year. I classify her as high strung from a few incidents over the years. Where is this going you might ask? Well she is one of my Facebook friends. My other blog connects to my Facebook account when I post something. Most everyone gets a good laugh from them. However high strung lady informed me this morning that enough was enough and I had to stop posting bad female dating profiles. She even posted a link to some mail order husbands site. I didn't ask how she knew that one. I always enjoy when someone voluntarily views something that offends them and then demands that it be removed. Well the only thing that's going to be removed is the friend's status if it continues.

Kitcat's weekends with her son have been changed so much over the last week with her ex that I couldn't get it out of my head that she was free this weekend. So we got together late last night after she had worked out and ran. Actually it was perfect timing since I had ordered a car magnet for her that said "running girl".

We stayed up watching TV and cuddling on the couch until we were both sleepy. She confirmed that I was sleeping over. I told her I thought I was, but since we didn't talk about it before hand I didn't want to assume anything. She said she didn't get that from me, plus she invited me over at 10 pm so she thought I was. I told her that I'd start bringing a overnight bag since I'm usually heading out someplace when I leave there. Sleeping there last night went a lot better with the windows closed. Besides garbage pickup at 6 am with them making as much noise as possible it was good. I'm surprised that her place is that quiet. Also her cats I have to admit are very considerate. I know I'm taking their place in the bed which they've been good with. Throughout the night they'll hop on the bed, but if they see we're asleep they just go someplace else. I got so use to Asp's cats just walking all over me all night long.

Today I joined the rest of America in seeing Avatar. I really had no desire to see it before it came out, but so many people liked it that I thought I should. I passed on the 3D experience mostly because with my color blindness I didn't think it would work and didn't want to pay for that. It was a very good movie and worth the watch.

Kitcat called to share a funny story with me and I'll share it with you since its hilarious. Her friend is visiting her today with her 3 kids. The woman's 5 year old came running out of Kitcat's room yelling about this cool eye patch she had found. It was Kitcat's black thong.

The Show That Went On

I went over Kitcat's last night after my beach walk with L. She was sad since she had closed up her business yesterday as she segways into a new profession. From what I've seen she was good at the diet industry and I know she wished her divorce hadn't affected her business. I know from first hand experience it does a number on it. I want to pick her brain on marketing since I can see she is very good at it. When she wanted to go to Europe she made it happen with a lot of deals. Now she is doing the same to go a few places in the states.

Last night was a first for us. Sex in an actual bed. Usually we've been tearing into each other in the living room with clothes flying. Her cats haven't been scarred yet. I'm not quite sure if the occupants of the hotel across the street watched, although I hear they can put on a good show. The best thing was being able to relax next to each other afterwards and talk. Its usually at that moment when we're all the most vulnerable. I could see I was feeling this missing from our relationship. Kitcat and I seem to be going down a different path than I usually go. Nothing wrong with it, but things that I come to look forward to were missing and that was one of them. The other was falling asleep next to each other.

Kitcat's window opens up onto the strip at the oceanfront. While pretty to look at its noisy as hell. We fell asleep with them open and I was awoken frequently from drunks yelling, cars revving, etc. However like I told her this morning it was worth it. At least the noise probably blocked us out too. One thing that I do know with Kitcat is that she does like me.

L found me a place to live that will open in a few months. It's a lot closer than OVDC's place. So I'll ask Tone what her schedule is when I see her in 2. This place would be about $200 more a month than I'm paying now, but it would be a nice place. So I'll see.

Changing My Playmates

My business coach really pushed me this morning and its what I pay him for. I tell you I was tense with him just suggesting it and I knew he was right. I need to change my playmates. I know that the closest 5 people in your life including your spouse dictate everything in your life. How much money you make, decisions, life expectancy, etc. I could hear my Mom's words from when I was a kid telling me that I need to pick better friends. The ones I chose I helped to make better and they never did the same for me.

The point this morning is that business activity wise I'm way above the business people I associate with. I know this since they always comment on it that I'm always doing this, they should be doing it, etc. The problem is that their attitudes and perspectives are becoming mine and I keep dropping back down. Every time I work hard here in the office it gets better, but at some point I slow down my activities and the business goes down.

What it all connects to is my worthiness and staying in my comfort zone. However staying where I am now is not very comfortable.

I know it will be really hard to leave my business group for another in the future if it doesn't change. It's hard to separate the personalities from the businesses. They're great people to hang with, but helping my business is really limited. So like someone once said, "it's just business, it's not personal".

So my plan is to contact the bigger business people that I know in the area who do more than a million a year and also successful chiropractors outside my area. This second part will take some driving, but the weather is nice and I'll get to do some sight seeing.


I awoke this morning to pain. I'm use to treating others for it, but rarely experience it myself. The past week has been a dry spell for me water wise and with the increase in temperature it was a bad combination. I knew that it was happening, but never got off the train tracks in time. So with sleeping too long in one spot which I'm known to do I woke up with a not in my muscles. Kitcat was quick to make fun of my slab of a bed. I like a firm bed and most women who have been on my bed don't like it for sleeping. I have to admit its a slab, but I like it. Anyhow I took my tennis ball and worked some of it out and got some therapy for it when I got to the office. I was surprised that Kitcat offered to stop by and massage it out for me. I felt bad to have her drive across the city, but I was still in a good amount of pain. I have to admit she did a very good job. I adjusted her afterwards.

This was a topic that we talked about the night before. After moving her bed on Monday she was in some pain and she didn't mention it to me when I saw her. I told her I'd be happy to adjust her to feel better. She replied she didn't want me to think she was dating me for treatment. I thanked her very much for that. However if she's in pain and I can help to please ask. We discussed how we both have a hard time asking our partners for help since we've been trained that it wouldn't happen from our past relationships.

After her mouth closed from all the noise her body made after I treated her, we got to relax a little while. I was surprised when she asked how long I had to my next patient. I told her 12 minutes and sex was derailed. I have to admit the thought lodged in my mind for many hours.

Kitcat is still in that chaos time of divorce. When one is putting their life back in order. She asked me after hearing what was going on why didn't I want to run. I told her I when I saw her I saw a beautiful, good person and not her situations. I've been there and I still go there sometimes. Before marriage I never paid a bill late or had debt. Now it's a way of life. What I have I learned? That I'm just part of the human race. I'm not my situations, but how I deal with them.

I know she is having a busy today so I offered to come over and cook dinner. I'm waiting to hear if she will be awake enough when she gets home tonight. If not I'll see her tomorrow night like we had planned.

Well the sky was falling this morning for me. The roofers were at the house a little after 7 and were scurrying over the place like ants. Shingles were flying everywhere. I tell you with that much activity going on it was really hard to relax. So I cut out a little early to be met by the green monster. Yes its that time of year when all the heavy pollen is out and turns the world green. I need to hose my car off tonight to get the thick layer of stuff off my car.

Melting Worries

I always like a day when I can save $2500 which was how much less I was paying in taxes with the corrections to my returns. I was sad I couldn't correct last years since all the cooperation papers weren't in for that time period. Oh well, can't have everything.

After my meeting last night I headed over to see Kitcat. She had moved her bed in her room and needed help with the dresser. When I got their she was just about to do a fast run to blow of some tension. Her jeep got busted into yesterday which tinted the whole day. We never moved the dresser since I'm not quite sure where she is going to put it. Every place I've seen in the building is small. Any place else and I think the place would be hard to fill, but even with high rents its pretty full. The reason? It's right across the street from the beach. Anyway Kitcat and I just relaxed on the couch watching TV and chatting for a couple of hours until she started passing out. Then I headed on home. It was a great evening of just relaxing and being together. I find it very therapeutic to hold her in my arms and relax on the couch.

Today is day 2 of the scorcher here. As usual, we get this early heat wave of 90 degree weather for a few days before it drops back to normal. I've been opening the windows at night at the house to cool it off. Since it will be back in the 60's by the weekend there is no reason to turn the AC system on yet.

Tone emailed me to let me know the roofer should be there tomorrow to take care of that job. She said it would take one day which I can't believe, but we'll see. I'll be happy if that's the case. Next week the landscaper should be starting. It'll be nice not to have a construction site outside the window.

It's a Double Dog Dare

Danielle over at Mid Life Mommy was writing about doing therapy work. It's something I've been trying to do on my own for a while. I usually come from a negative perspective instead of a positive one. This rears its ugly head when I'm with people and everyone starts talking about their pasts. I can dredge up all the bad childhood stories, but a nice one is very difficult. So Danielle has dared me to come up with my list of 5 "good" memories since I've been slacking with it. So here it is in no particular order.

  1. When I was 4 we use to live right on a channel off the bay. We had a bulkhead on our property, but Mr. Miller next door had a beach which I use to slip through the fence to go on. I remember finding a nice sized white rock with a scallop shell stuck to it. When I pulled on the shell it came off revealing a fossil like imprint on it. I thought it was the coolest thing.
  2. During the big Spiderman craze of the 70's, every boy knew the hand position to shoot webbing. My friend Timmy and myself were eating bananas. I don't remember who came up with the idea of replacing the web with banana peels. They were flying all around the house. It was a grand old time. Who knew banana peels could be fun?
  3. I still remember the time I took an afternoon and taught myself how to ride a bike without training wheels. I knew I could ride without them. However take off was the problem zone and I remember going around in circles until I got it.
  4. I don't remember if it was 13 or 14, but my Mom had a surprise birthday party for me and invited all of my friends. There were some friends I hadn't seen in a while. I was really surprised and it was great to see everyone. I still have the picture of all of us standing together in my photo album. It's a good memory.
  5. I remember the first Christmas after I had gotten a paper route. I had my own money that year and I wanted to buy everyone presents with it. I remember being out buying the stuff, wrapping it, and then waiting. I didn't even care about my presents that year. I just wanted to see everyone elses reaction to what I had bought them.

Well that's my list, such as it is. How about you? Can you write a list of 5 "good" childhood stories?

No Rotten Eggs Here

Easter dinner with Kitcat and sons went well. One of her neighbors was there also so it was a fun ole time. Her older son and fiancee showed up late, but everyone was very pleasant. Kitcat is a good cook and everything was delicious. Afterwards after everyone had left and her son went to bed it was nice to sit on the couch together, watch some TV, and relax. Kitcat was worn out from all the festivities of the day so I rubbed her shoulders for her. When I was finished and she laid back against me she wasn't long for this world. After a few minutes I could detect the minute muscle twinges of someone asleep. I didn't wake her until the show was over. I was enjoying holding her and since she was sound asleep I knew she was comfortable.

No toothbrush, but food stuff is staying there. Kitcat wanted me to keep my soy milk over her place so I'd have something to drink when I came over. The relationship is progressing just nicely for me.

German girl was laughing her ass off when I told her that Kitcat and I had sex. She is positive that I have some strange power over women. It doesn't feel like it on my end, but hey I've been wrong before.

The office week is starting off okay, but the end looks really light. Like Kitcat and I were talking today. Admin stuff I'm great at, but marketing is my weak spot. Well the correct thing is that sales is my weakness. I'm good at getting myself out there, but the full sale is my problem. I'm following up with the people I talked to last week and creating this week's list. I also need to start practicing for the two presentations I have this month. Happily they are both on stress management so I can just focus on the one topic. My patient appreciation dance is getting mild attendance. Most people who usually go, can't do it this time due to other engagements. I always need a certain amount of people there to make the room look full, but mostly its another way to get in contact with patients.

Peeping into My Life

Happy Easter to one all. Without Eric around this holiday becomes just another day which is what I explained to Kitcat last night when she asked me what I was doing. So she invited me over to have Easter dinner with her sons. I told her I'd be happy to come, but I thought it would be too soon for her 9 year old son. She said I was her friend today and as long as we weren't physical their would be no problem. Kitcat said no one should be alone on a holiday. The very cute thing was that her son stated the same thing this morning when she asked if it was okay for a friend to come over that was going to be alone on the holiday. I was very touched.

Game night went well with the singles last night as always. It was a smaller crowd so it was more manageable. I have to admit it is becoming the usual suspects. It would be nice to get some new blood attending which always shakes it up for everyone.

With last month being a slow month in the office and money being tight, I'm starting to become anxious. I'm trying to allow enough fear in for the extra boost to work on correcting everything, but not too much that it paralyzes me. I've never been very good at the regulation. It's usually panic or denial which really doesn't help me at all. As is the norm with most things. The more you practice it the better it gets so here I go again.

I got an email from a patient yesterday asking me if I would forgo his copay so he could come back into the office. This is always a bad area to be in since all insurance companies have to sign legal agreements no to do this. You can get around this with hardship letters, but I usually avoid them like the plague. I have done so with a few of my Medicare patients over the years since I knew they were on fixed incomes and the copays would do them in. What usually makes me decide is that their quality of life was so poor without treatment. As a person I couldn't just sit there and not help someone be able to walk or move around.

The Twin Debate

I'm finding I have to be mindful of the time when I'm with Kitcat cause time just flies when we are together. Last night we decided I would meet her at her place and then we would walk around her area for something to eat. She has a nice apartment a block off the ocean, however the public hallway is a distortion zone. The rug has stripes on it and the walls have blue painted supports. I got off the elevator and I though I was going to have a vertigo experience. I got to meet her zoo of animals which were very nice. One of her cats came right up to me for attention. Kitcat said the other wouldn't do that since she avoided strangers. I knew how that would play out and it did. Once I was comfortable on the couch the cat came right up on my lap for attention. Kitcat was surprised since she said she doesn't do that with anyone else besides her. I know animals and myself. They like me and always gravitate to me.

We walked around her area for some food. It wasn't as pleasant as it was suppose to be. A fog rolled in with cold, windy weather. I kind of knew where we were going to end up since most of the nice places were at the other end of the boardwalk. We ended up at Catch 31 which I knew would be a small fortune which it was. Topped with that the only place open after a wait was right next to the DJ's speaker and the bar area. We couldn't even hear each other over the table. It was sensory overload for me.

Kitcat wanted to have some questions answered about men in general. The first was why guys walk with their hands in there pockets. I told her it was a insecurity thing. I pointed out that all the guys walking in the place had their hands in there pockets and on walking out they were hanging by their sides. Plus it was probably connected to when guys are young and they hold their penises. I added that if the guys just hooked their thumbs in their pockets its usually body language to stare at my crotch. The arm and hand end up being an arrow that draws the eye along.

The other question was the twin fantasy when we saw two female twins. I told her I had no clue on that. I didn't have the usual man's fantasy of a threesome. I like to focus on the person I'm with. If I'm choose to be with someone I want to give them all my attention. I don't see the reason to just give part of it if I care about them.

I got out of her place last night at 2 and I had to be at work this morning. So my ass is dragging a bit today, but I'll grab a nap before I meet the singles tonight for game night. I have free tickets to the Funny Bone comedy club, but Kitcat has her son tonight. So far none of the singles have gotten on board with it.

My latest freak that isn't joining the group is some lady who throughout her profile had the hot ass man that she was doing all things with. From dinner to sex. She didn't see a problem with it. Oh well our loss.

Whole Lot of Shaking Going On

I'm starting to get anxious around the house. Too much activity is happening which means change and that usually will make me anxious when I'm not in control of it. I have to admit the outside of the place is looking nice. I could just move and save myself some of this headache, but since I know I'll be doubling what I pay now, I'd rather push it off until it comes nearer to the end.

I hate it when my first patient is a no show. He called yesterday to reschedule to this morning. It usually shifts me into a negative space where I don't need to be when dealing with patients. The other half of the equation was that my business landlord stopped by to pick up the key for the office next door. He was asking about business and since this no show had just happened it added to a growing bad mood. Now I'm just trying to let it go.

Tonight I'm going to meet Kitcat at her place down by the oceanfront. I had suggested trying a new Thai restaurant I had heard good things about or a dinner and movie at my place. She countered with her place since the weather is supposed to be nice tonight so we can walk on the boardwalk.

The One that Almost Got Away

Here's something from the blooper reel from Ratatouille night. I mention it since I can't remember something like this happening before. Opening condom wrappers is like opening chip bags, not that much of a problem. I tell you I opened it this time and thing went flying. I remember just staring at the empty wrapper like where the hell did it go. It was only on the other side of the bed, but at the moment it was pretty freaking funny.

I did find out 2 things about Kitcat, well more than that, but I'm only sharing 2. One thing is that while Kitcat is a intelligent talker, her text are for shit. They are littered with misspellings which is big turn off for me. However they way she talks I know she's intelligent. She had let slip that she had a learning disability and Kitcat admitted that she had dyslexia. I know when we were kids that was a stoning offense, but nowadays its no big thing. At least it was a mystery solved.

The other thing is that besides L, Kitcat is the first woman I know that is very comfortable with her body. Walking around and hanging out naked was not a problem. I tell you it was nice and refreshing.

Well I tell you I closed the books on a crap month. With taxes and car repairs looming, Mike is not a happy camper. This months seems to be starting good, but we'll see. I was happy to get the key today for next door. I was doubly happy to open the door and find a pile of insurance checks too.

I tell you I'm drawing a blank for my date with Kitcat tomorrow night. She gets out of work after 7 and it cools off pretty fast around here when the sun goes down. It'll be better once summer gets here. I would like to do something interactive, but by that time most indoor stuff is closing up. Movies and dinner are low on my list of things to do.
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