Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Just So You Know

I talked to Tech girl tonight. We actually talked for about 40 minutes which I was surprised. I don't usually talk that long, although we have seen each other a few times at singles events. So with both of us having things going on this week we settled on Wednesday after the museum. She won't have eaten dinner and it allows us to talk some more. We actually covered most of the basics tonight. Again I was surprised. Tech girl seems to be upfront with everything which I like. So I'll see how it goes.

It's a Major Award

I do want to thank all you ladies for my award for email asking out the Tech girl. Hey I know it wasn't the best, but I always try to strike while the iron is hot. Also I have problems with instant gratification at times. Anyway you'll all be happy to know she emailed me her cell number to call her today. I wasn't quite sure it was going to happen, but I see she's read the book on dating schedules.

German girl is laughing her ass off that again I'm going through the tunnel for a woman. She's always wanted me to do so. Actually she's wanted me to come all the way up to Williamsburg which is a minimum of an hour depending where you are in the city. I don't think so. Besides the driving I have to admit I'm not moving. I've spent way too much blood, sweat, and tears in building my practice. Moving is never an option. You lose 25% of your patients with each move. I loss more when I moved the 2 blocks from my last place. The peninsula would be like starting over.

Today has been my usual relaxing Sunday. Sleeping in late and not getting much done. Well actually I rummaged through my storage unit. I found a bunch of books that I'll drop off at the thrift store. Threw out a bunch of broken dishes and the last of my ex pictures that were in a box. I found some of my books on talking to your kids about sex. I read them when Eric was young so I figured I could brush up on everything. It really did help paving the ground work when he was young. Every time I interact with him I can always tell he's my son. We're just the same in how we express our love, communicate, etc.

I think I'll give Tech girl an option. She's coming down Wednesday for our museum event, but that will be done by 8. I know she's coming straight from work so we could grab something to eat then. Or just have our own night some other time.

Whoops I Did it Again

The holiday parade was small town which was surprising since we're a city of a half million. It was a good turn out of people from the group. I have to admit I was glad that it was short since the wind was whipping down the road.
Afterwards we headed over to Kelly's for a drink and a bite to eat. We had a lot of fun joking around. I was going to sit at the end of the table, but Tech girl made a comment that she didn't want to open seat next to her just in case another member showed up. I originally thought of taking the seat since we had been flirting and joking during the parade. This continued while we sat around talking. She's a good touchier with a funny sense of humor.

Afterwards we headed back to Town Center to see what else was going on. We got to sign cards going to the military over seas for the holidays. We took pictures with Santa. A few got hot chocolate while we listened to the music. Then we decided to end it.
Now for half of the night I'm thinking of asking Tech girl out. My biggest problem is do I want to drive back to the Peninsula to see her like I did with the Planner. Other than that I didn't see any problem with her. I wanted to ask her when we split, but she headed off with another of the girls. So I did something I'm not a big fan of, I asked her out by email. So we'll see what happens.

Dating Profile

Since I had time today I sat down and charted out all the women I've dated since I separated from my ex. It was interesting to see. The biggest was Spa girl. I knew she was trouble, but DAMN was she hot and definite arm candy. Besides that my list is all negative traits. The other was the other end of the spectrum Law girl. While the most normal woman I've ever dated and all positive stuff, it was a small list. Chemistry was both low for us, but it was just such a new experience for both that we went out for a while.

The pattern I'm happy to see is less manipulative women than I use to be with. Aroma girl while a big positive in my life had a lot of unvoiced plans that she was trying to implement with me. L also fitted here with me being delegated to her boy toy.

I seem to jump back and forth from a non abused woman to an abused woman and back again. L, Spa girl, and the Photographer were all abused (physically/sexually). While the Photographer was the only one to recover healthy from it she still brought a lot of un-needed chaos into her life. I do relate to them the best, however whether that is a basis for attraction is beyond me. On attraction I have dated all different shapes and sizes, but I seem to be more attracted to an athletic build.

On of the biggest things I didn't want after my ex was a timid woman which I'm happy to say I've stayed on track with. Most of the women have had high initiative or were very socially active. L was the only one to buck this, but she made it up with a whole world of sex.

An interesting side note is that from Aroma girl who I dated 3 years ago to the Planner and the Photographer this year I didn't feel truly safe with the women I was with. I fell back to an old habit that I didn't even realize. I have to make sure I don't do that again. So I guess a list of things I'm looking for would be:
  1. attractive
  2. feel safe with
  3. assertive
  4. has goals
  5. PDA's are big
  6. sexual
  7. good communication skills
  8. fairness with paying

Save Water

It's pretty damned funny that people drink bottled water to stay healthy, but now there are so many empty plastic bottles that they are becoming a waste problem. Now they're trying to make recycled paper bottles to be more green. I don't see it catching on for some reason.
The Landlord made it back last night. It's funny, but I told Saturn girl one of the reasons I don't move out is that I like having someone else around. After a minute catch up my landlord and I didn't interact, but it was nice to have someone else in the house. Still it's a bizarre feeling since I grew up being alone so to have it make me feel uncomfortable is weird.
German girl asked if my friendship with Saturn girl was me connecting healthier with a woman. Since I'm always the constant in all my relationships. I told her I didn't think so since I feel this large hole where a relationship would be. Not that I would know what a very healthy relationship would feel like, but I do know a bad one which I'm happy to say. I do want to sit down today or tomorrow and list all the women I've dated for any amount of time and find out the commonalities, both good and bad, of all of them. To see what's attracting me. I did it after I split from my ex and it gave me a good picture of the women up to that time. However since I've dated a lot more women since then and also I've changed over the years. It would be useful to do the exercise again.
Tonight the singles and I are off to see the city's holiday event. It's the 2nd annual so having never seen it before it will be interesting.

Black Friday

Well all the stocking have been hung. Black Friday is traditionally when I decorate the office and this year was no different. No major overhauling or anything, but like the other 11 months of the year I like to keep it decorated in here. All the hours I put in here I like a little difference and the patients seem to like my flair for decorating. (sorry no camera today for pics) I think I'll decorate my room tonight when I get home for something to do.

I think I'm going to have to go postal on Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield. They have so much of my money and they're trying to hold onto it for as long as possible. I'm use to getting my weekly checks from them and this month I only got one. Since they are my biggest payer I'm really taking it in the ass with their tactics.

Except for myself all my holiday shopping is finished since I hate being in the stores this time of year. Down here is nothing like it was back in NY. The weird thing is I was in that Walmart where that worker was trampled this morning with Eric 2 weeks ago. It was a mob scene then so I can easily see it happening. Monday I'll head over to the post office and mail out Eric's and my niece's presents so I don't have to deal with the post office anymore this year.

No More Lonely Nights

Thanksgiving day was nice and I was enjoying myself to about 4 o'clock. As it started to get dark the realization of being alone really sunk in for some reason. It really pulled me down to a point even I was surprised.

The funny thing that pulled me back up was the realization I could have asked 3 different women out yesterday. With my head on straight I was able to think of away to solve my dilemma. I knew that Saturn girl was free today since she had Thanksgiving last weekend when relatives visited. So I emailed her to see if she was around and if she wanted to get together to play some boardgames which I knew she enjoyed. I got a response after a while saying she was up for it, but she just needed to drop some soup off at her daughter's house who was sick. So I grabbed some games and headed on over.

She lives in the same complex as CPA girl. It was almost deja-vu walking in the place since it's the same set up. It was a fun evening talking and playing games. I found out we have a lot in common like both our favorite shows is Two and Half Men. There were other things that I was surprised.

She did ask if I knew how the Photographer was doing. I told her I hadn't talked to her in a week and that she had been dating Gameboy for awhile. Since we had gone to the Halloween party together she probably thought we were still together.

I never got any vibe from her that she was feeling any chemistry for me. So the Laws of Attraction still puzzle me. While it was a really fun night, lots in common, the chemistry was very low. Hey this is just like CPA girl, maybe it's the complex. On the other side of the fence I had the Destroyer yesterday that I had to bite my tongue not to ask her out. There doesn't seem like anyway to tip the odds in my favor.

The Day After

I will always say that I think God has a great sense of humor. It was my birthday yesterday and I had 3 different opportunities to ask a woman out. None of them were what I wanted (for the few who asked about Saturn girl - I like a cuddly girl and she just doesn't give that off). So it was a lesson for me to see if I would keep to my decision to date. I have to admit there were times yesterday that I didn't know if I was coming or going. I don't seem to be having a problem meeting women just the right type.

The other incident I didn't share about was at the office. I don't have it happen much anymore like it use to do in NY. The inappropriate clothing for coming to a chiropractor's office. If you don't know I will bounce you around the table, twist you up like a pretzel, then most likely pounce on you. If you have to keep tucking things back in or keep adjusting so something doesn't pop out it's not appropriate for coming into see me. I'm not even going to talk about exercising. Well it was a fun 30 minutes.

No one ever got back to me on volunteering today so it's becoming a lazy day for me. Sleeping and napping have been the words of the day. Now I'm at Starbucks using there wi-fi while I relax and do some office work. Surprised to see that Walmart is open today so I'll head on over to pick up a few essentials.

Birthday Fun

The rest of my day was fun. Eric called to sing me happy birthday. It was fun and he seemed to get a real kick out of how much I enjoyed it.

The Saturn girl was the only one to make it to the Silver Diner with me. She's another relocated New Yorker and she has the accent to prove it. I don't have a heavy accent, but mine was increasing talking to her. It was funny to hear myself say stuff. She's an attractive women, fun to be with, just not enough chemistry to date. It was nice bonding with someone over food with talking and laughing. However I want more than that. Tonight was another test run with her. We had talked in the past and I saw little chemistry so I wanted to make sure since I do enjoy her company.

The Funny Bone didn't let us down and we all laughed very hard. It was funny when they asked if anyone was celebrating anything today. I turned around to see the whole table pointing at me. So the whole place clapped for me which was nice.

Single never called me back which is no surprise since she's not very reliable. So I'll sleep in tomorrow, see my Mom, and stop at Starbucks to read and do some computer work.

Witchy Women (NSFW)

For my birthday today I seemed to have been blessed with a bunch of witchy women. I'll explain.
First up this morning I had a business meeting with the Destroyer. I have nicknamed her so I'll remember what she stands for even when I have no blood going to my brain. Actually it's not a sexual thing. I met her a few weeks ago when I was helping one of my business groups get new members. As soon as I saw her I was attracted to her and had a hard time taking my eyes off of her. I also knew I was way to attracted to her for only having said "hi" to her. My therapist told me always to run from these women. It's just unfinished business in my subconscious and it never works out. My ex was bad enough. So it was the most date like business meeting I've had. It's always funny to catch a woman stop herself from touching you. I'm glad I call her the Destroyer in my head, because it was hard as hell not to flirt or ask her out.

It was then off to the gym where who was sitting at the desk, but Gym girl (I had to give her a name). She flirted with me and I have to admit I really like her eyes, but something just isn't there. However I do know that a lot of my attraction is that she likes me. I'm not use to it so it always increases my interest.

She called and sang me a Happy Birthday song. It was nice. We talked about a few things which help me smooth what little resentments I still had left after her little stunt earlier this year.

Last up the Photographer announced to the Singles group that today is my birthday. For some reason I don't take it as a nice thing from her, but more of a adolescent prank.

Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus

Well after 5 long days of working on my Microsoft Outlook and having a minor glitch or two last Thursday to major problems this morning. I finally can say it's up and working. Still no operating Business Manager, but everything else works. 3 hours ago I couldn't even get it to synch with my phone. It was like the more I tried to fix the worse it got. So it stays the way it is now.

My business group got me a birthday card today which was nice of them especially since I'm the one that does them. Since I have a free birthday dinner at the Silver Dinner I'll see if anyone wants to grab something to eat before the Funny Bone tomorrow night.

I left word with Single this morning, but haven't heard anything back from her. Hopefully she will give me a call back so I can volunteer. If not I'll track something down.

I don't know what's up with military people, but they really need to give them a class on panhandling. They are such a target around here. Most likely since I usually see them reaching into their pocket for money. I think I might need to smack them upside their head and yell, "snap out if it!"

Did I say that I'm happy my Outlook works?

Knocked Up/Out

I tell you the fender bender yesterday knocked me in to pessimist mode. While I'm not in doom and gloom mode, I'm not looking up either. So I'm working on turning my steering wheel to a better disposition. I don't want to make any sales calls until that happens since it would be a waste.
My high point so far today has been the desk girl at the gym telling me that Vanella is her favorite flavor. I have to admit I hear it often enough so it's nice indicator to know if someone is interested. She has nice eyes, but I don't think their is anything else there. I'm not looking to start anything right now which will be hard this week with my birthday and Thanksgiving coming up and me being alone.

I woke up this morning missing the Planner. Each time this happens it's smaller and smaller. Like they say time heals all wounds.

Fender Bender

It's been a while since I had a fender bender so I guess I was due for one. I was pulling out of the parking space at the gym. These guys must have tried to make it past before I was out since I stopped in the middle of the road. I scraped there last panel of the car and my back bumper got scraped. No one was hurt and both cars were very drivable. I asked if they wanted to report it or not. They did so I called it in. It took the cops about 40 minutes to arrive in which I spent my time in my car since they were being belligerent. I never understood that after an accident. I know people get angry because the feel helpless, but lets look at the big picture here. However he seemed to be very focused on that he couldn't work out so I'm just wasting my breath.

When the police did arrive and checked every one's ID they said it was private property and couldn't do anything except exchange info. I thought that strange since it was a city recreation center. The other guy got upset that I had made them wait for the police, but they said it was my right.

So I'm okay just riding high on the accident emotions. Trying to just let them be, but it's not comfortable. I know it's a normal process, but I don't have to like it.

Pizza Stories

I don't know how many of your readers remember when I use to deliver pizza for Papa Johns last year. It was a good PT job, but not as good as valet. The biggest problem being you really pound on your car delivering pizza. I use to get a lot of funny stories out of it mostly sex. You know couples that order a pizza and try to be finish before I get there. I never really understood the concept, but just don't leave me standing out there cause I'm going to leave. Now there is a darker flip side to this. The guys who want to spank the monkey between ordering and delivery. Guys put some fucking pants on. The pizza is not the same when you have to slide in sideways.

Anyway I ran into Special E last night and we caught up in pizza happenings. It seems with the economy Papa Johns decided that driving was considered a tipping job so minimum wage was no longer in order. Special E said he was losing like $15 a night with the new rules and the thought of being robbed while making $4/hr didn't work so he quit. He did tell me two of the other drivers had gotten robbed. One had even gotten pistol whipped. I was surprised since we had a pretty good area. I use to remember all the stories one of my managers retold from Ward's Corner which is a REALLY bad area. Robberies, pistol whippings, and being shot at were the norm.

Sunday Stuff

Well I picked up my birthday present for myself. It was the only thing I wanted. Two & Half Men season 3. Lo and behold it was on sale this week. Really can't afford it, but I've learned that I have to pay myself first. I will happily short change myself, but when I have bills unpaid I will work my mojo to get extra money to pay it off.

I got a free dinner in the mail for my birthday at the Silver Dinner so that will be my place of choice Wednesday. It'll be nice to have a special free dinner. Not quite sure what I'm doing for Thanksgiving yet. German girl suggested asking the singles. So I put a poll out there to see who would be alone. There are too many oddballs in the group. When mixed with everyone else at an event it balances out. However a room full of them and I would rather spend the time alone. I may track down Single since she said she was volunteering to deliver food to seniors.

I have a Tai Chi event today with the singles, but people have been flip flopping more than a landed fish on whether they are coming or not. My rule is always choose something that I'll enjoy so if no one shows I still enjoy.

Turkey Screwing

No I'm not that hard up. My Landlord just dropped on me that he won't be around for Thanksgiving. He'll be gone most of the week. WTF! Usually he's good saying that he's not going to be around. If I didn't say anything I don't think he would have mentioned it. I think his mind's wrapped up too much in trying to get into a strippers g-string that he has the hots for. Okay I was set for a quiet time at home for my birthday, but for Thanksgiving too. I got to find something to do.

Contacts & Friends

After 3 days I am still no closer to having Business Manager work on my Outlook. I have some how removed all my contacts. They must be somewhere on my computer, but who the hell knows where. I'll have to sync with my phone to find them all. What a pain in the ass. Trouble shooting from Microsoft is a joke and the fees to get an email from them start at $50 and I don't even get a naked picture of a hot woman with it. Bastards. So I'll just keep what I have.

The Photographer sent me an invite for Facebook. It was weird. I accepted since I'm working on being a bigger person, but something doesn't sit right in my gut. I'm not quite sure if it's a childish response to not being date worthy, but still being friend worthy. German girl and I went out on a date it didn't work out, but we've been great friends since then and that's been 2-3 years. So I'm trying to think what's going on here? I think it maybe that I feel that the Photographer is moving too fast to reconcile the friendship. Move quick over the bumpy parts, but I'm still feeling the smarts from the little ride with her. I thought I wouldn't be seeing her for a while, but she's coming to the movies Tuesday with us. Oh well.

I started a survey for the office. So far everyone has given me a 5 or 6 out of 6 which is great. However I think I'm going to have to start a new one to see what I can do to improve getting people in the office.

Pennies From Heaven

Insurance companies by law have to pay claims within 30 days. However there are so many loop holes to get around this that it almost makes the point moot. Since I've been in Virginia I really haven't had to deal with it too much like NY. However as the economy gets worse boy are they slamming on the breaks to pay with ever lame excuse. I collected $22 this week from the insurance companies. WTF! So with no money this week I start to freak with the end of the month coming up.

The Singles group continues to amaze and annoy me in new and fascinating ways. Ortho girl, who I went to see Changeling a few weeks ago has become the new target of one nutty members. While in the events he's okay. However he's pushing the envelope with her in emails. I talked to her last night on how to handle it and his sexual innuendos. Oye I hate dealing with this crap.

One thing that still amazes me is how people won't cough up the $5/year membership. If you don't like the group or never come, no biggie. However you come to a bunch of events and as soon as they're asked for their membership fee. Poof, a disappearing act. While this isn't too bad, but I hear from members in other groups say that they're badmouthing me because I'm enforcing the fee. Holy shit! I should charge like $30/year so at least they can say I can't afford that.

Do the Locomotive

The dental visit went well and boy have they made some pretty impressive jumps in technology. The good news is that I'm not dying the bad is that I need to replace a crown and a filling besides the normal cleaning. So I'll break it up so that the bills aren't killer. I'll check when I get home to see what the insurance covers. It does help that he's right around the corner from my office.

I tell you it's one of those reschedule weeks and with next week being a holiday it's like 2 weeks later top see them. Ugh! So I have too much time on my hands especially waiting for my CCE class to start at 7 tonight.

In a monumental move I've changed over from Palm to Outlook as my database. So having the free time today isn't a bad thing. Spending 1-2 hours trying to fix my Outlook problems was a bad thing. However it's working well now and I've finally transferred everything from one system to the next. Now I just need to add all my contacts into it which is why I made the change. So I can better manage everyone I meet. While the end product will be very helpful until then it's pretty dry stuff.

Still going through some petty stuff with the Photographer in my head. Like showing off who I'm dating to her, not that I am. You know that kid kind of stuff. Here you hurt me so now I'll hurt you. Not going to do anything, but the scenario is a double feature in my head.

Back in the Saddle Again

It was great to have my mojo back this afternoon and be very creative with my business. Even the tedious work of re-entering all my data in a new database was fun. So I'm happy to be out of my slump and moving forward again.

I talked with MK lady today about how she is successful. She went over the different things she does with her clients which are women which is very helpful to me. She pointed out that women choose and buy on feelings. She also pointed out what good qualities I already had in place at the office that were women friendly like not being pushy. I was surprised that she was the second one this week that loved that I answered the phone.

Game night was okay tonight. Everyone was tired, but fun was still had. It was awkward with the Photographer and Game boy. I knew she would arrive with him and that their was no way that she was arriving by herself. Game boy was more quiet than usual so he was hard to read. The Photographer was pretty much the same as normal, but it was difficult to see her with someone else. I still have that attraction for her so that was a difficult pill to swallow. The other is that she is the most energetic person so my focus does gravitate to her which increased the feelings. The good thing I won't be seeing her for a while.

One Step Beyond

After my business coaching class today I asked the instructor about my problem with fear of change with success. He gave me some tips. The funny thing is one of them is the same my therapist gave me when I was trying to process the abuse from my childhood. I'm pretty blase about it. She said imagine if it was Eric. Now that gets a rise out of me. So that's what I was told today. Besides the benefits for me, who else would benefit? Since Eric would be the main thrust of my success ie. being able to see him more or possibly him living down here. So that stimulated me. The other idea which didn't do much for me, but I'll share was to write my obituary. It kicks people into motion by what others would think of your success.

Tomorrow I'll go to the dentist for the first time in 5 years. I really haven't kept up with it due to the cost factor, however I now have some insurance to counter act that. I know I have one cavity. My biggest thing about dentist is that I had one that did a lot of unnecessary work in my mouth and why I have had many problems in the past. So I'm always cautious getting someone new.

Life in Motion

There is an analogy of 211 and 212 degree water. Not much difference to look at. Both will burn your hand. However 212 will produce steam which powers our civilization. While it takes the same amount of energy to raise water from 210 to 211 it takes a lot more energy to raise water from 211 to 212 because it changes state thus ends the physics lesson for today. This is where I find myself with my business at the 211 point. It never grows or if it does it's short lived. For the past few weeks I've been taking a business coaching course to help me.

So since the last class Wednesday I haven't been able to motivate myself and this week it's a real problem. We talked about this and on meditating on it I find myself fearing change. With success comes this feeling of being out of control something I don't enjoy. So that coupled with hating change is really being a thorn in my side from growing. To combat it I'm making my list of what benefits I'll have when I'm more successful.
  1. Enjoy more time off
  2. Able to see Eric more often
  3. Take a major vacation a year
  4. One weekend trip a month
  5. Not worry about my bills
  6. Have my own place again

Life in Pictures

Since I was thinking about Game night tomorrow and interacting with the Photographer and I guess Game boy. However he's probably clueless of what happened. So I was thinking it may be awkward tomorrow night, but then I remembered I didn't do anything wrong which brings me back to lets be friends comment. My translation: "please don't think bad of me cause I'm doing a shitty thing to you." So I'm good with it now.

Good, Bad. It Doesn't Matter I'm the Guy with the Gun

When I have strong emotions sex is my drug of choice. It doesn't matter whether it's a "bad" or "good" emotion. It just needs to be strong. When I was growing up my feelings were regularly invalidated so I saw no need to have them so I stuffed them. So bumps in the road are major to me.
So a really awesome weekend with Eric coupled with the sadness about being parted hit me hard. So I'm wanting a woman today. I'm wanting sex. It was funny at my business meeting this morning. I gave them my target market since most people are amazed that I have an 80% female client base. They turned it into a single's profile of what I'm looking for.
I'm looking forward to the new James Bond movie tonight with the singles. However I have a little trepidation on tomorrow's Game night. The Photographer and Game Boy who she's dating will be there. So I'm imagining it being a little awkward, but who knows? The good thing is that a lot of people have signed up so we could be in different groups.
My birthday sushi outing has low attendance next week. I was actually dreading it since the only person who had signed up was this older guy who just never STFU. I mean he could talk to himself in an empty room. At least now someone else has signed up and hopefully more will.

Back to the Salt Mine

I'm still on vacation time and it's hard for me to get my ass in gear today. It didn't help that 2 patients rescheduled and I then got a large time gap. I ran and did errands and did some office cleaning. However making the switch back to work mode is not happening today and I knew that early on so I didn't push.

One thing that is still working very sharp is date mode. I walked into the gym this morning and a new girl was working the desk. I got that few second eye contact that they talk about you women should do in the magazines. I wasn't paying the full attention, but she may have went for the full 5 seconds like they say. Once in the locker room I'm thinking who needs to wait for the end of the year for dating. I'm okay I'm just still obsessing about this woman for the last 5 minutes. Oye.

It's a busy week at night this week. I'm out every night through Thursday. I swear I can't plan this stuff as well as it happens. I have my normal meeting tonight, tomorrow the singles and I are going to see the new Bond flick, Wednesday is game night, and Thursday I'm back here for my continuing education credits. Only two more nights after this one.

Still nothing from the ex on the Nerf blaster so I'm going to have to hound her on it. If I don't hear anything by Friday I'll tell her I'll use my best judgement which is I'm buying it. I tell you I try to work things out with her, but crap just keeps coming up. Like I tell my friends this is why we aren't still married.

The Visit Part 3 Finale

Sunday morning found us wrestling as usual, but it was also time for Eric to do the homework he brought with him. He described it as it sucks which was funny for the boy who use to love school. Ah the times they are a changing. He got moody doing it and the presence of it being the last day weighed heavy on him. At one point with tears in his eyes he decided that he couldn't do it and made a pretty emotional case about it. I looked down at his paper after he was finished and told him that didn't work and maybe we should try something else to get it done. The humor was lost on him.

However this is a age old problem of him so focused on it being our last day together that he gets so upset that he can't enjoy the day. So I tried to empower him with my standby of, "we can do something else when you finish your homework. So you're in charge of when we do something different." His mom may give into this stuff, but he must forget that I don't. He got it better this time and was able to finish his homework in about 10 minutes. It's always a rough area, but I really want him to focus on solutions then just the problems which his mom is all about.

We stayed at McDonald's play place longer this time. Since all the old stuff wasn't working I suggested pool or bowling. He wanted pool. Also he wanted to practice more sewing and since he's a big fan of TWF (Thumb Wrestling Federation) I suggested a stop at Michael's to pick up supplies so he could make his own wrestlers. This idea worked out really well since the pool hall was closed until 2. So I suggested Starbucks where he could practice his sewing. He did really well and made a few guys that he could customize when he got home. The really weird thing is that I'm sitting there with my 9 year old sewing and across from us is a senior lady texting on her cell phone. It's a brave new world. So after a few thumb wresting matches and poker games we headed over to the pet store. The animals were very cute. Eric of course wanted one, but living creatures are not impulse buys.

The pool hall was pretty empty and I think both of us were feeling the last few hours ticking down. I found that out when I realized I was flirting with the attractive woman working the register. Zero to a hundred in a blink of an eye, jeez. Eric was having a hard time with playing and with the emotions hitting him was not being teachable. So he really wasn't playing. So we called it and got something to eat.

It's funny. Eric loves being with me, but hates the 20-30 minute drive back to his place. Believe me pal I don't enjoy the 7 hour one either. We talked some more on the way back. I brought up sex again since I wanted to know what was bringing it up. His friends weren't saying much, but two of them were starting to bring up topics. We again talked about the whole being naked thing. LOL. He asked if you had to be completely naked. I told him you didn't just the parts being used had to. Although when you want to share your self with someone sexually you did want to open yourself up and not having your clothes on helped. However some people were shy about having no clothes on. He did ask did you have to be in love to have sex. I told him no, but my opinion was that it wasn't as enjoyable. Just sharing yourself with a person you really cared about made it more special. I made sure to tell him that he could always ask me anything and that he wasn't going to get in trouble for asking me anything. I also told him I would get that older children's version of sex so we could go over it when I saw him for his birthday.

Dealing with my ex is always weird. I finally realized why. I forget she's a black and white thinker so when I'm normal with her she becomes really friendly. For me it's like I don't trust you so just let's get this over with. Not that I say that. I picked Eric up and gave him one last swing since he enjoys being picked up. He was very surprised that I could do it, but he's only 70 lbs.
Here's my birthday present from Eric.

The Visit Part 2

This visit was very different from any I've had before since we did so many new things and old habits just dropped away.
So we got up early to make Eric's soccer game finals to see who was the number one team. We got there early. My ex said be there by 9:30 so I like to be early so we were there 15 minutes early and even then no one showed up till like 9:40. Since the field is near the ocean the breeze was strong. While Eric warmed up doing laps and with us kicking the ball around the rain started. Over the next 30 minutes it became a monsoon. I couldn't believe it took them so long to cancel the game. I was already in the car because it was a torrential down pour.
After Eric grabbed a hot shower to warm back up and I dried our clothes off we headed off to McDonald's play place for lunch and his kid interaction. We didn't spend much time there and I was really surprised that he didn't want to go to the Children's museum which was our usual hang out. So I suggested we hit a few stores so he could show me what he likes for Christmas since its changing fast. Holy hell! Every parking lot we went to over the weekend was a freakin' zoo. Even out in Timbuktu it was crowded. It's one of those moments I'm glad to be out of the area.

I got some ideas, the biggest one being the Nerf blasters. However my ex is strongly against anything that resembles a gun. However I know the lead hints that Eric was dropping around the store. I've done them too. So I did text her to see what her take on it was. Still nothing so I'll probably have to keep on her about it.

With the rain stopped we stopped at a park to throw the football around and kick a ball around. Little guy things that just mean so much especially for him since he doesn't have anyone to do it with. I know how that is since I was the same way.

We did our usual Friday's dinner. We played poker and blackjack while we ate since Eric is playing with his friends. They have little differences in the rules, but it was easy to learn.
Afterwards I was surprised that Eric wanted to learn how to sew. So I taught him and he picked up really fast and can do an excellent stitch. He was very excited to teach his mom to do so since she can't.

After a few more wrestle matches we headed off to bed.

The Visit Part 1

Before I left Friday my Landlord announced that it was good that the Planner and I broke up since they were talking about putting a $2-3 toll for the bridge I used. Hey it wasn't up to me, but I'll take whatever good luck I can get.

While it was only drizzly for my ride it was foggy as hell. Driving across the Chesapeake bay was a trip. I could only see 300 ft. ahead of me. I was in this tiny gray bubble and that was my world. I really couldn't see anything else. It was really wild, but I was very happy to have it clear up when I got to dry land. A few years ago I nearly collided with someone in that think kind of fog. Some idiot figured he would stop in the middle of the highway.

I tell you I wish I could blog on the road. It's too hard for me to remember everything from Friday. However I was anxious to be hanging out with my ex at Eric's soccer practice. We really haven't been stuck together since we were in court years ago. With her heinous lies I didn't really want to have anything to do with her. Now a days I have seen no change so I really have no want to have large amounts of time with her since it's all just crap coming out of her mouth.

However since it was raining on my way north I called to find out if they were still having practice. Eric said they were, but his mom was sick and could I pick him up at the house. Woohoo thank you God. However I found myself still anxious. After thinking about it for a while I realize I almost felt like I was married again. This was always how life was. My ex wasn't feeling good and I would have to come and save the day. It took a while for me to realized that it was different times.

It was great to see Eric and the hand off was a little off, but nothing to write home about. He didn't want to go to practice so we headed off to my friend Paul's place. On the ride over I asked what he was learning at school. I could hear the sigh from the driver's seat. I apologized for my question, but informed him I was doing my grown up responsibility of asking. He asked why grownup always ask. I told him we want to know what's going on in his life especially me since I don't see him that often.

We stopped by Paul's store to get the spare key. He runs a liquor store which started a conversation of drinking between us. Eric wanted to know if I drank ever since he had never seen me do so. I told him no and my reasons. I was pretty impressed with Eric's knowledge of the subject. I shared with him my beliefs on the subject. I never said he could or couldn't, but it will probably come up again.

While we were talking of many things Eric asked if he could meet my father. I told him sure if he wanted to although I hadn't spoken to him in 17-18 years. Eric knew I what my reasons were on that subject. I did ask him what brought this up. He said he knew so many people on his mom's side that he wanted to know more on mine. My side is a little harder since we are spread out more and not as close knit. However I did check to see if my Dad had re listed his number. He had unlisted it after his mom had called him after many years of estrangement. No such luck. I know where he lives however it's a long ride and my Dad's place is usually unrepresentable to kids. I should know. So surprises wouldn't work so I called and left word for my Aunt (his sister) to give me a call, but I haven't heard anything yet.

It was a big day Friday of talking so we had to cover the topic of sex. One of his friends had used the word "vagina" and he wanted to know what it was. He wanted to look it up so he asked his mom. I can't believe she told him this. She told him he could look it up when he was older. WTF! He's 9 and he has questions. Anyway he did look it up anyway and he was cautious in telling me, but he still didn't understand. So we sat down and I asked if he remembered that book I had gotten for him when he was 4 on where babies come from. He said he did, but he couldn't find it. I wonder why especially since I had gotten the older child's version with it so when he got older he would have it. So I asked him what he remembered. He remembered a lot, but none of the technical terms. So I got pen and paper and we went through it all.

I remember all the myths when I was young so we went over his. The conversation kept going back and forth. Some from embarrassment and some I think he felt he might get in trouble. The funny question was did you have to be naked to have sex. I said it helped to get to everything. Then he asked it. His face was priceless. Did you and Mom? LMAO. I said yes. We were in love and we wanted to have a baby and here you are.

It was fun to be a father something I don't get to do much anymore. I remember teaching him how to use a spoon and to color with a crayon when he was a baby. Now I'm talking about drinking and sex. LOL. I was very grateful to it all matter of factly and that he felt comfortable enough to ask me.

After many wrestling matches it was time for bed. He must be getting older. He was out cold so fast I couldn't even believe it. I thought he was faking.

New Header

You can always tell when I'm bored to tears. I do a new header. Hope you enjoy and I'll see you all when I get back. Don't worry I'll take lots of pictures.

Rainy Day Feelings

"I like the rain. It washes the memories away from the sidewalk of life." - Woody Allen

The rain also seems to wash away people's memories of appointments. Half the day has been rescheduled which means I'm sitting here for too many hours. With the monsoon outside I don't feel like venturing out, plus I have to be here till 10 tonight. Yes you heard that right. I have a webinar for my continuing education credits. It was suppose to be last Thursday which was great since tonight will put me to bed late for my early start tomorrow for NY. So I have one more patient then I still need to hang around till 7 for this thing to start. It better be interesting or I'm going to be playing solitaire to pass the time.

I'm hoping it's not raining hard in the morning since I don't look forward to being 10 miles out in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay on a bridge I almost went over many years ago. While I've overcome my fear of the bridge mostly since I go over it so much, I'm not cool as a cucumber either. People still go over and lightening still hits vehicles.

Well since it seems I'm going to be alone for my birthday again I scheduled an event with the singles to go out for sushi. I'm calling it our Thanksgiving and we'll see who shows up. I didn't mention it was my b-day, but it will be nice to have a social outing for it.

Things that Make me Go ...

I do want to thank everyone for their kind words with the Photographer which really helped me process it all. The funny thing is just disappeared to be replaced with some missing of the Planner. Since that's not a good thing I need to enforce my not dating someone for at least half the time I dated them. I don't miss her in the way I want to date her again, but little things like her smile or something. As usual it's all the good stuff.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Eric. What I found out last night is that this Saturday is his last soccer game. It's the finals to see who is number one. I've never seen him play before so this is awesome for me. I can't wait.

I think I'm losing the ability to write and I already had doctor's handwriting. I'm taking a coaching class and I'm taking notes. While my mind knows what it's writing the pen sure doesn't. I mean I'm forgetting to cross t's. Thinking about it I don't really write anymore. I scrawl my name frequently, but besides that I only write out checks and deposit slips. Everything else I type which I like since I can type as fast as I think which I never could do with writing plus it has the added bonus of being readable.

Date Worthy in Mike's Book

T had this in her blog the other day and I really liked it. Then Winivere commented on it today so I saw it as a sign to write it up.

Vivacious – timidity is not in my book when looking for a woman. I’ve dated rabbits and I have no want to help drag them out of their hole. I’ve got a lot of energy and I want someone to match me.

Athletic & Healthy – I take care of myself as a way of loving my body, but also of the person I’m with. Time is one of the biggest things we can give to one another. Health problems only get worse and you’re in bad shape now forgetaboutit.

Physical – I’m not looking for someone to play football with. I mean PDAs. I’m really a physical person. If you don’t like to be touched, stroked, massaged. We are from two completely different planets.

Good Hair – While I do prefer long hair, I’ve dated women with short and been okay with it. However I like nice thick hair that you can run your fingers through. Also I love brushing a nice mane of hair. It’s usually my deal. Keep it long and I’ll always brush it for you.

Good Manners – while most people have them there are a few poor souls that missed the class. I couldn’t name all the forks on the table, but know what they do. However that’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t need to burping the alphabet or cursing like a sailor. I don’t even like it when my guy friends do it.

No Couch Potatoes – I don’t have cable and watch 1-2 shows a week on TV. It’s not my life and if it’s yours it’s not going to work.

Divorced – While most people would think “duh, yeah.” I mean I don’t want someone who was never married. At my age most people have a marriage under there belt and that’s a good thing. Hopefully you’ve learned what makes a relationship work and all the idealism of youth is gone.

No Young Kids – I’m not having any more kids. Any women I date I would want kids Eric’s age or older. Not going younger.

Happy – while this would seem obvious, most people are not. If they can’t be happy with themselves adding me to mix isn’t going to help. I for one don’t want to hop into that blend.

Good Kisser – I would never think to put this on my list. However I’ve dated some women that I’ve thought, “what the hell is she doing with her lips?” It’s like playing twister. Upper lip on your nose, lower lip right ear.

Intimate – I want a woman that’s shares herself with me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I want a relationship where we can both be true to ourselves.

Sexual – Okay I’ll admit I’m a horn dog and very sexual. I’m also very monogamous. So I want a woman that really loves sex, has an open mind, is communicative, and is not looking to add someone else to the mix.

Communication – I need a woman that can talk about her feelings. Yes pick your jaw off the floor. Not just any feelings, but her feelings about me. Also about problems that will occur between us.

Smell Good – While I’ve never been with a woman that smelled bad. Some women just smell better. I’m a sucker for Suave shampoo which I think a lot of guys are. Damp hair with that smell, oh boy!

Playful – I’m a big freakin’ kid at heart. I like to play games, act silly, run around the playground. No stick in the mud.

Romantic – Again this is something I would think is a no brainer. I like opening doors for women, candle light dinners, hand holding, etc. I am very surprised to find a number of women out there not into this stuff.

Woman Commandments
1. She must have less body hair than me.
2. Can’t bench press more than me.

A Message to Winivere

I started this as a response to Winivere's question, but it became so long that I figured I'd make an entry out of it.

I did a psychological evaluation a few years ago to help someone out. The doctor came back and told me I was too sensitive. I laughed in her face when she said that and I told her that I was the opposite. She said that was why. I never learned how to deal with my extra feelings. While crying was okay in my family. Being taught how to handle strong emotions were not so ignoring is what I did.

Men in general are not taught how to handle their feelings nor in our society is it encouraged. The only place it is accepted is sports and that's why you will see many get so emotional. It's the only outlet that is socially accepted. I've seen men not shed a tear for the loss of a family member, but cry like a baby when their team loss.

Individualism is buzz word for men which is a real handicap. We were brought into this world by the actions of others and people do the best with the help of others. However for men it's be strong, be tough. Have enough fortitude and willpower and you can move the world. It's just not true since all you do is make your world smaller as you push more and more people away from you that could help you. However that is counter-intuitive from what we are taught. For a woman this may seem hard to accept since women bond in groups. A big stressor for women is not having that social network. While men on the other hand are lone wolves. They are stunted emotionally to form those connections. So the stereotype come out, "hey how's those Mets?"

Day 1

I went out with the Singles last night to see Burn After Reading. It was a really good movie, but not a feel good movie so please keep that in mind. I was happy to get out and be with people although I had a hard time being social. Sadness was pretty heavy on my heart.

So I'm going through my grieving process and this morning I have some anger. The Photographer told me she was going back to Game boy who she never officially broke up with. While I agree full chemistry wasn't there for us their was a lot of new stuff that I hadn't experienced before. She has a really good level of communication and physical interaction combined with that really incredible feeling of safety made it very interesting for me. I agree it probably wouldn't have gone all the way for me, but there were things I wanted to experience and learn more of. If Game boy wasn't around I think that would have happened. However when your not the dumper you are usually not in the place you think you are.

So this is day 1 of 41 days of not dating. I think that's how many more days till the end of the year. I have the singles to stay social which will help. However it's going to take a few days to get over not dating anyone to just take the pain away. I KNOW that's a bad way to be, but its in my head.

The Call is Given

I made some call like a normally do to friends to share my sadness which always helps me. It's strange. I'm okay with rejection with dating, probably ties in with the last bits of low self esteem. However I'm good with it as long as I know. Sitting around waiting and wondering drives me insane. Now with business I'm the complete opposite. I do take refusal personally when I shouldn't and it hurts the business. It's what I'm working on letting go now.

Well I finally got the call from the Photographer. She was on her way to meet a friend for lunch which never bodes well. We talked about her weekend and everything was going smooth. I have to admit I'm a pusher. I like to know my bounds and I will bring everything up. So I asked when I could see her again to see her reaction. As I expected she wanted to talk. While she really enjoys me as a friend she's not feeling anything more than that. It's something I can relate to with her, but their are other things that I like and would have taken longer to end it. However we both still want to remain friends so that works out well for me.
Back to my big question. Will I go back to not dating until the new year or not?

Pants of Fire

Okay I'm a liar and I'll admit it. Writing that I thought the Photographer and I were over has made me very sad. I have free time until the afternoon so it's just me and my emotions. Right now there not the greatest companion since they're morose. As you may or may not know, emotions and I aren't fully acclimated yet. I know the basics of them, but all the fancy descriptions still escape me. Since for most of my life I've suppressed them and now dealing with them it's always a strange beast on my back.

So I wonder today if she will make contact or not. Will I get a Dear John email like L and Law girl or will it just be silence like the Planner. I thought she was a person to take things like this head on. Who knows I could be worrying for nothing, but this is how I feel now so I run with it.

Failure to Launch

Well I called the Photographer last night, but got her message system. So I left a message asking how her weekend went and for her to give me a call. I know she's back since she RSVP'd no for tonight's movie. So that's it for me. I hit two balls across the net and if I don't get anything back I let it die. So it's in her court and we'll see what happens. Happy to say I'm good which ever way it goes.
Jeez I over did it painting this weekend. Callouses are forming and each day is a new ache or two. The bad thing is that the temperature really dropped here so I can't open the window without freezing to air the place out. Fumes aren't terrible, but my sinuses feel it after being here all day.

We'll Always Have Starbucks

While the paint smell isn't as bad as last time which is really strange since this is a bigger room and it's the one I sit in. However I needed to get out of there because after a whole day it was getting to me.

So I can still do some work I came to my favorite Starbucks so I can access the Internet to get work done. I forgot to mention that Game night went very well the other night. We had a great turnout, but as it happens often I'm the only one bringing games. Since these are different games then the norm it's almost impossible to split the group into smaller groups to make game play more fun.
Phone girl who I've met before was pretty touchy with me throughout the night. While a nice person to have at events being on the Peninsula like the Planner and hating her job really puts her off my list. I have a hard time with people who truly hate there job and are doing nothing to change it. It's like being in an abusive relationship and not doing anything. Hey I've been in both and I know it can take time to change your situation, but their is a mindset when you are working on it.

Gov't girl was surprisingly attractive. Her picture on the profile really doesn't do her any justice. Although her low cut blouse did her plenty of justice Saturday night. Twenty somethings can be fun, but not for me. My range is only 5-6 years above and below mine. Their is too much of a change of dreams and lifestyles beyond that point for me.

In reality I think everything is okay between the Photographer and myself. Eeeekkk! I hate putting myself out there in an avoidance of getting hurt. If I don't fully hope I can't be hurt as much. Childish I know, but it still works.

Monday Monkey Say "Hi"

Oye there was no way I was going to the gym this morning. Between achy muscles and just plain tiredness made the decision easy. Even with that it took about 2 hours to get the office back to normal. Dusting, picture, and decorations took more time then I would have liked, but it was nice to finally sit down and look at my handiwork.

The stuff I bought to get rid of the paint stains worked pretty well, but I had to do it my way. Their way was dab some on a white cloth and rub. My was pour bottle on stain and scrub paint off. My way worked better although it did a better job on the taupe than it did on the white. I need to buy more of the stuff to finish the rest of the office.
The Photographer arrives back in town today and I'll give her a call later tonight. Hopefully all my fretting will be for nothing. I do want to thank everyone for their kind words.

It's Over

It took me another 5 hours beyond the 3 yesterday to finish painting the office. The trim and doors took the longest, but I have to admit it does look good. The place is still a disaster area. I don't have anyone on the books yet for tomorrow so I'll clean up and put everything back then. The biggest pain will be removing the paint stains from the carpet. I'm hopping the stuff I got works because even with the better improved drop clothes a few accidents did happen. What I'm really happy about was that their wasn't much of a paint smell today from yesterday. On the other hand I could use a weekend to relax because I'm fuckin' tired. Holy hell do my thumbs hurt from using a roller.

The Photographer returns to Virginia tomorrow so that will be good, hopefully. It's a busy week for me and I believe both of us are away again next weekend. So I'm hoping we can get together at some point. I do know she off Tuesday for the holiday which is a really busy day for me in the office. I tell you it will be great to see Eric next weekend, but boy is it hurting the bank account with all the missed visits. Oh well.

Closer to You

Many have asked about my falling for the Photographer and how did that happen so fast? Believe me I'm pretty surprised myself, but I do know why and it breaks down into a few different avenues. Come on you didn't think I didn't dissect this?

The first is I've never felt as safe as I do with the Photographer. The level of intimacy is high and how we talk is what I'm use to with the closest of my friends.

The other path is the stuff you will probably laugh at, but she's also allergic to dairy and has flat feet. These are two things that do affect my life in significant ways and I've never dated woman with either problem. While it may not seem like much it comes up a lot. The Planner constantly offered me stuff with cheese. It was a mental block since she loved it.

The last is minor. She's a great gaming geek like myself. Has DVD's of Defending Your Life and the Original King Kong just because its a Thanksgiving favorite. You have to grow up in the Tri-state area to get that one.

Anyway I did text the Photographer this morning telling her I was thinking about her and hoping it was sunny down there. She did respond telling me it was beautiful. I told her I was happy for her and was looking forward to seeing her. Again no response. Good, bad, I have no clue. I don't know is she is backing out or if she wants some balance since she has liked me for months. I've told her I just recently seen her in a new light of dating even though I did like her very much. So we'll see.


I added my labels to my side bar of my blog. It's funny to see so many women I've come in contact with. The sad things is I can't remember some of them. Like a total blank. The other interesting thing is seeing how much I blogged about some people. I might have to take a stroll down memory lane to remember some of these people.

Not the Wu Shu Finger Grip!

Everyone is telling me to chill out with the Photographer and the phone call back. So I'm chillin' at about 70 degrees. I'm not boiling, but it isn't that cool here either. I know my problem is not waiting that second month so I fully haven't reset myself for dating. However I haven't texted or called since Wednesday and I'll wait till she gets back.

Well I got half of my waiting room painted with less mess than the treatment room. The other half is going to be the pain. I have a heavy desk, book shelf, and filing cabinet to move. Well that will be tomorrow's problem. Right now I'm just letting the sweat dry so I can put some clothes on to go home and shower before Game night tonight. Besides getting a humongous drop on my arm I think I'm relatively clean. Didn't even step in that much. One of the worker's at Lowes also gave me something to hopefully get the paint off the rug.

I got a compliment from my friend Paul this morning in that most of my problems have changed to a mature adults instead of all the crazy drama I use to have years ago when we met. The funny thing was for a moment I wanted to have all that crazy stuff to still feel connected. Sometimes the insanity rears its ugly head.

Ma, What the Hell is That?

After who knows how long, the sun has finally made a reappearance in our skies and it's beautiful. Temperatures are quickly rising to almost 70. It's just great to be outside.

To Bambi, yes guys do worry about the phone reply. Well I know I do which doesn't mean much actually since I'm not your typical guy. However I do fret over not getting a response back and I do thank you for the chill pill. I know part of my problem is not waiting the second month before dating. I went for opportunity instead of sanity. Oh well it wasn't the first time and I doubt it will be the last. I'm still fretting with this, but I'm better with it. I think getting more realistic and better perspective over lunch and seeing other women I could date made it easier.

Okay the office no longer smells like paint so I'm going to paint the waiting room this weekend which will be a real hassles since it has the most furniture in it. I did but a drop cloth so I can avoid any paint on the rug. While I want it done I know about half way through it I'm going to be like this fuckin' sucks. However it will be nice to see the place Monday morning. Since the massage room never sees full light I'm going to hold off in there.

"Love is truly and sweetly blind, reality is unbelievably demanding." - Kingma

I sent this over to my friend Paul this morning since he's having a problem letting go of his old GF even though he was the one to end it. It brings up the age old problem of loving someone very much, but having something in the relationship that is unacceptable. It's hard to let go. I struggled with my ex with this for 5 years before I said no more. Even then I was willing to try again if she got some help. She told me flat out that she didn't see the reason and I was the problem hence why we are no longer together. As the Photographer stated you don't fully heal and grow until you are out of the relationship and boy is that the truth. It was like sun finally hitting my leaves.

Echoes of the Not So Distant Past

I called the Photographer last night and left a message. However I knew she had to get up very early this morning for her flight and she would be travelling today. I think I heard it was snowing up in Jersey where she was meeting people before flying down to Key West. However not hearing back sets up a nagging fear that I got with the Planner. The difference is just having dated a week so I know I shouldn't have that high expectation, but I would like to hear from her whether it be her voice or her text to calm my nerves.

I've been trying to cluster book my appointments so everyone comes in tighter areas of time so I can do more with my free time that will be profitable to me instead of me just waiting for these small bits of time. With the help of my business coach I was finally able to figure out how many calls I need to make the office grow. So that's my next project.

I don't think Eric is going to make it till next weekend to see me. He's so excited now I think he's going to explode.

The Sign Post Up Ahead

German girl like many of my friends have asked me about the Photographer and the Planner. One of the things I like about the Photographer is that she has a life beyond me and work. She has her own social circle and is a assistant organizer to another Meetup group. So while she is busy sometimes and we can't get together, it is better when we do. German girl thought I wouldn't be alone for my birthday this year the way I was lamenting, but the Photographer will be away that weekend also. A person's circles of friends always tells me something. A concern of mine with the Planner was that she had chose to let work consume her and her friends had faded into the past. It was the reason she had joined my group, however like everyone else I was pushed to the side of the road because of her job. Some day she may make it, but she will be a lonely person.
As I have stated before my stats are a beautiful thing. They let me see what is going on in black and white instead of all the colorful images my mind imagines. Even with all the ups and downs of the economy my business really hasn't changed in the last 6 months. However all my work hasn't moved it forward. Also everything else has increased bill wise so money that was tight has really gotten tissue thin.
It's funny when people wonder why I'm not in the phone book. However I heard the best explanation the other night. New phone book came out and another business man's phone just didn't stop ringing. LOL. It was all sales people. Sad, but true. Only sales people still use the phone book. Most everyone uses the computer.

Games & Politics

It was great to see the Photographer tonight and give her a big hug since she is so huggable. We decided since we both got up early to vote and both didn't want a smokey place to be tonight we decided to stay in. So we talked, played games, and watched the election results come in.

An interesting fact is that I feel very happy being with the Photographer. I know on my side of the street I feel I can be very intimate with her without fear. She's been very free with her stuff so I hope that it's the same for her to. We covered a lot of topics like always and her photo shoot in Key West over the next week.

We enjoyed playing Topic Conversations of something like that. We didn't play it like we should have. The name implies it's a topic for us to discuss, but we just answered it and if the other wanted to through something else in they could.

I'm starting to get the rhythm of the Photographer's kissing. It's a little different from what I'm use to, less tongue and more sucking. Also she gives as well as she takes. She did state that we had to stop a few times so that she could still say "no". I find it interesting with myself that I can keep the switch "off" and kiss with her and have it be no problem. I know it would just be a flick of the switch in my head and it would be a problem. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad, but it works for me. I tell you it's going to suck having her gone for a week.

Decisions of Conscience

If you don't know it already I treat my patients differently from other chiropractors. A good example was that a friend goes to someone else and stated that she signed up for 40 visits. If a doctor is that good at knowing how many visits he should play the lottery and just clean up. Anyway 40 visits in my office would probably take about 3 years. However I will always stand by I'm not normal and my mission is to make people healthier. The real deal is no one can make another person. I just help your body do it and then teach you how to take care of yourself since I really don't want the job since it's not healthy. However the big bucks are not in this line of thought. So when I check my balance in my account and it's $1.80 and a new patient walks in that decision of how to treat is there. However I like to sleep at night and stick to my morals so everything stayed status quo.
I'm really looking forward to my date with the Photographer tonight. One thing I'm really enjoying about her is she has friends and a life. I got use to the Planner being so focused on work that everything else was dropping by the wayside, myself included. We're still not sure what we are doing tonight, but will decide when I get there. I didn't suggest this, but I would love to do what we did Sunday and just lay around in each other's arms and talk. It was so awesome I can't explain.

My talk with the Mary Kay ladies went very well and I got three names that will hopefully become patients. I've left messages and will have to try and track them down later on. It would be nice to turn around this slow trend. The event went so well I might be talking at other training centers. Who knew me the body language guru. Hey all that dating paid off.
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