Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Sex Still Sells

Boy I'm losing it. I can't remember what I was going to blog about. Shit.... Oh yeah now I remember. I was tagged on Facebook to answer some adult questions. I tell you I got more air time with this than I do my weekly beach hikes. I guess my nice guy image was blown away since most of the women in the singles group are making comments about me now. Asp is even calling me a freak now, lol. Anyway like a weekly TMI here it is. Play along if you like.

If you are a family member, really, you don't want to read this.

(1) Is there anyone on your friends list you would have sex with?Yes

(2) Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?not picky

(3) Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?no

(4) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?I can get paid for it? I usually do it for free.(5) Shower or bath while having sex?Shower

(6) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?Depends on the mood

(7) Do you love someone in your friends list?No

(8) Love or Money?Love

(9) Credit cards or cash?Cash is king

(10) Have you ever wanted a best friend?yes

(11) Camping or a 5 star hotel?hotel. I like my comforts.

(12) Where is the weirdest place you have had sex??Office bathroom

(13) Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?No

(14) Have you ever been to a strip club?Yes

(15) Ever been to a bar?Yes

(16) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?No

(17) Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?Nope

(18) Had sex in a movie theater?No

(19) Had sex in a bathroom?Yes

(20) Have you ever had sex at work?Yes

(21) Ever been to an adult store?Yes

(22) Bought something from an adult store?Yes

(23) Have you been caught having sex ?No

(24) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?No

(25) Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?lol no

(26) Who do you think has the guts to respond/answer/repost this?Not quite sure

Tonight it's our monthly meet and greet for the singles group. I have to question why Saturn girl and Asp were texting me last night about some contest and winning and such when I wasn't involved. I asked about that and said I had to be special to be involved. WTF? It was way too early for drunk texting.

The cheap guy from the other day has returned for his massage. He was moaning and groaning so much just taking his clothes off, I don't know how it's going to go although it's been quiet in there for a while now. I'm actually glad I didn't offer him chiropractic. He seems very high maintenance.

The Drunk Family Christmas Special

In 3 years of going to the Funny Bone comedy club this was the first time I was disappointed in an act. I don't mean little either. If I wasn't hosting the singles group I would have walked out. We saw John Morgan the Ragin' Cajun. I could have done without all the screaming at the top of his lungs with a microphone. I could have done without all the Baptist revival stuff (hey I want comedy not go to church). I could have done without the shots of Tequila. What truly got me was that most of his act is talking about physically kicking the shit out of your kids. Forget if you make a comment or don't agree when he asks you a question. Angry drunks aren't good that way. He ripped apart many people in the audience tonight. I'm saying a good 5 minute rip apart. I never saw the manager come out that many times. For some reason he woke is 8 year old boy to come on the stage with him and do some more cursing offensive jokes. I tell you I come from an alcoholic family and the show put chills up and down my spine.

Mike's Getting Angry

I'm a bit angry with one of my friends right now. She always says she should invite me out with her friends since some are single. I'm looking at her FB page today and there's a message from this lady above us. WTF? I'm not getting invited to meet her. So I check out her friends and this is what I find.
I'm crying here. There was a page full of hot women. WTF? I thought we were friends?

Cheap Thrills

I'm always amazed at how cheap people can be. Since I'm in the same hallway as a massage therapist, who's rarely here, I have many people wandering into my office. Now that I have massage therapists in the office it can work to my advantage. I had guy limp in here a while ago looking for a massage. He asked how much and I told them it was $50 for an hour which is pretty good for this city. He started complaining about how much it was then offered me $35. He grumbled and made a face when I told him no. Oh well. I should have asked if he wanted the chiropractic for $45. Or maybe offered him a miserable ending for the $35.
Due to severe thunderstorms in the area last night L and I had to cancel our hike. Hopefully we can reschedule over the weekend. If not I may do it myself.
While Punk girl was a bit chatty it was extra sound in the suite. Now with her gone, I'm back to being by myself. The quietness can be deafening.

Wednesday's Finances

This is sort of like the insanity I'm living right now. Not that I have a cat or am a woman trying to get married. The insanity is that it's a record month with patient visits, but I'm making less money. WTF? I'm looking for spare change in the couch.

On the another note I'm still trying to find my place in hugging patients. Even though I'm a very huggy person I don't do it in practice. Especially since most of my patients are women and I'm alone here. I don't think the guys would appreciate the hug anyway. However some of my female patients are just huggy, especially after they come to a patient appreciation. A bonding seems to happen.
The Landlord was hatching some crazy scheme last night. He wants to bond Inverse and the LPN, another single mom, to get them to agree to help each other for 18-24 months while they both finish school. Since both have different hours one can baby sit while the other works or goes to school. It's a bold plan and would be very beneficial for both of them. The biggest problem is that they both can't see the big picture. The LPN could go a year before she gives up, but Inverse I would say 2 months. The most crazy part of the scheme was that he was thinking of having them move back into the house with Inverse still owing him money.

Phone Service

I hate making cold and luke warm business calls. I know I have nothing to lose and all to gain, but it still sucks doing it. However I was able to land one luke warm one for my paycheck stuffers for reduced visits for the office. With that I called people I did know for my gift bags. My patients like getting stuff and they like that I give more than I ask for. Actually I never ask for patients which I hear is a bad thing. I find that if I don't abuse people and exceed their expectations by giving them stuff they return the favor.

I'm hoping this heat wave will end, but no such luck. I can take the heat, but this high humidity is murder. It builds all day long till it storms at night and then it's nice until the next day. In some places around here they got 6 inches of rain last night. That's sick! Anyway I might have to bite the bullet tomorrow and walk around before my beach hike with L. I'll be sweaty, but it won't matter.

Public Service Announcement

My PSA for today is what not to wear when you go to see your chiropractor. While we enjoy looking at an attractive woman's body; when it's in our office it's another thing.

The mini skirt. What were you thinking when you put this on before you came? You know we're going to twist you into a pretzel, not to mention examine you. It's hard to see what's going on without seeing everything.

The other is the low cut top. While this may work in a normal environment where you're not moving much. However in a chiropractic office there's bending and thrusting going on and things get loose. I remember many years ago a woman's breast became unleashed. It's a bit embarrassing to say you're hanging out there.

The opinions posed here are the beliefs of my deranged mind.

July 27th

Holy shit! I didn't realized what day it was. Today marks 5 years since I dropped my ex and Eric off at the airport when we officially split. Thinking back I can't imagine that old life anymore. How I survived that hell for so long is mind boggling. I and my life have changed so much since then it's amazing. Happiness is the biggest thing in my life now. Some extra spending cash for bills and food would be nice, but in all other aspects I'm happy to say I'm happy. I see how so many of my friends wish there life away and are miserable. I'm happy not to be there anymore.

Very happy tonight that the AC has been fixed in the house. Last night was a rough night so I'm looking to make it up tonight. I also will be dealing with the Destroyer in the morning and I need to be fully awake.

Monday's Blog

Even though I don't online date anymore I still read Match's magazine to see if there is anything interesting. This week I was surprised to see that they finally tackled the topic of blogging about your dates (click here). While I don't mention to my dates that I blog, I do use pseudo names for everyone. I'm happy that my dating life entertains everyone, but like my blog I do it to straighten my thoughts out. I'm a physical person and I always need a physical outlet for my feelings and thoughts. Writing fills that need, plus helps me coordinate my thinking into some kind of structure even though my grammar can suck sometimes.

My spider issue was resolved just before I went to bed last night. I move the comforter again and he scurried out. He must like that comforter. Anyway I got him while messing up some of my puzzle, but it was worth it. However sleep was less than restful last night with the door open. There are just too many noises in the house that I'm not use to with the door closed. Hopefully it will be fixed today.

I'm off to the gym now. After lunch I need to get on the phone calling people to work on getting my paycheck coupons to employees. I can feel the urgency, but also the fear of doing it. The fear is if you put all the eggs in one basket what do you have left if it doesn't work out. For one I know the concept works and I'm sick of treading water. Fully committing in business is harder than it is in a relationship for me.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

You know, I'm just finishing up everything and thinking about getting ready for bed when I see a spider crawling over my comforter and heading over to table at the end of the bed. I grab something to kill it and it literally dives off the table and disappears. Fuck!!! While I'm not scared of spiders; I don't feel like getting bitten while I'm sleeping. It leaves a nasty bump. Boy am I going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight and I'm too lazy to move the whole bed to find the little fucker.

The Funny Bone was fun tonight. It was a smoking night which I'm never a fan of, but tickets were free and so were the drinks for some reason. Hey I wasn't complaining. The headliner was good, while the other 2 were also good I had seen their acts before.

Sunday Heat

The night wasn't too bad. The downstairs AC still works and with a fan blowing the air up with no sun it was very comfortable. However there was no sleeping in this morning. By 10 the sun was baking the place. Since I didn't feel like being cooked in the house I went to see Earth at the $1 movie house. It was cheap and cool. What more could I want? The movie was enjoyable, but I had seen most of Planet Earth when I use to take salsa lessons. Don't ask?

I dumped a shit load of stuff at the thrift store which gave me a nice lighter feel. I hate getting rid of good stuff, but since someone else can use it I'm better with that.

So with a few hours to waste I've come to my office to escape the heat. I've made a slide show for the office. At some point I'll update it to a video, but I figured I'd get the words down first. Then I can look for someone to star in it.

Tonight I'm hitting the Funny Bone with the singles.

Everybody Sweat

Hey it's one of the hottest days we have this summer and our AC breaks. My escaping the heat by staying indoors has been shot to hell. I think I may just hangout at the office tomorrow. I hate to do it since I'm there so much during the week, but hey it'll be cool. Now I just need to think about what I can do to keep myself occupied.

Summer Cleaning

Well since last week's relax and do nothing weekend was so much fun I decided to do it again this weekend. I have more energy this time around so it's not as much fun, but since it's in the 90's here, being indoors is pretty nice.

After running some errands around town I'm back home doing some laundry and summer cleaning. With game night I buy a lot of games at the thrift stores. Most of them have worked out, but not all of them so I'm getting the dead beats ready for a return trip. Also I've gone through my clothes to see what I want to get rid of since I never wear them. It wasn't much, but I did find a bunch of pants that I haven't worn in a while. The funnest thing is that I'm not a big water person anymore. It seems the older I get the less swimming in the water calls me. However I have a whole bunch of bathing suits. WTF? Where did these all come from? I know they're from when I was married, but why so many. Couldn't I ever find them? We didn't go to the water that much.

I gave up on my puzzle jigsaw puzzle. Not having a picture to go on, having every piece fit every other piece, and having to match colors when you're color blind was becoming way too frustrating for me. So I switched to a smaller puzzle to calm my nerves. The old puzzle is now on the pile going back to the thrift store.

So anyway my closet is pretty organized now. I still have stuff packed away on the floor that could go to storage, but here or there it's going to be stuck somewhere. It's weird now to have an empty shelf in the closet.

Oh Yeah, It's Party Time

Well it finally happened. After many almost, I had a record day. So while I'm enjoying that I did some calculations and found out that the average person coming in this month is paying $10 less than last month. While number are a little better than last month this less money thing is causing problems with my finances. Not quite sure how to plug that hole. The specials are driving people into the office so in the long run it will pay off, but in the here and now it sucks.

I switched back to 3 times a week in the gym this week. So with my weekly hike, I'm happy with my exercise routine. Now I'll just change it around every 6-8 weeks.

It's going to be another quiet weekend. It was a lot of fun to rest last weekend so I'm going to do it again this weekend. I finished my Robin Hood puzzle last night. So now I have a puzzle that can be put together many ways and I have to figure out the right way. Yeah I know why do I torture myself like this.

The Hussle and Bussle

Well the office was hoping this morning. I was treating people, the massage therapist had someone, and there were people in the reception area. The place was packed and the phone was ringing. It was a good thing. I was starving though with all the work and I dropped back to some old habits. When I was growing up I use to starve myself to gain control. It doesn't work so you know. It's why I have the granola bars next to my desk, but I was hard headed this morning so it's something I need to work on.

Anyway with the phone ringing I have 7 on the books and the last person is one of the people that called. So start baking that cake cause we could be celebrating tonight.

Blind Sided

I tell you I didn't see it coming. I did expect it months ago though, but after awhile I thought I was scott free. Last November some jerk tried to zoom past me as I was backing out of my parking spot. We scraped and he was in a Mercedes. Like I said when nothing happened after 3-4 months I thought okay we're good here. Holy shit my bill just doubled. I remember my friend telling me that what happens if it wasn't your fault to 4-5 times if it was. Collision repair is just that costly now.

I knew my first patient of the day was going to reschedule and he did. I'm hoping he'll call back like he said he would, but I'm not holding my breath.

I have this funny feeling that my ex is returning to some of her old habits since she never responded to my texts about her dad. She did have Eric tell me. The longest I've ever seen her hold it together is 1 year and believe me it wasn't pretty then. So this has been 7 months and we'll see what the fall out is.

Beach Sights

My weekly beach hike with L was good as usual. It's funny we both enjoy the eye candy as we exercise, however I found out tonight I can't let it take too much of my focus. We were walking and I noticed a attractive woman in a bikini coming our way. When we passed I was looking at her and I smiled and she smiled back. We both kept walking, but I did take a few over the shoulder looks. L brought me back pretty quickly with a suggestion for some photos down the beach. I guess she still needs to mark her territory with me.

Eric was happy to have gotten his glasses today. I had forgotten he was getting them. However with my ex and me both needing glasses for distance his chances weren't that good. It is funny that all his grandparents needed glasses just for reading. Oh well, as long as he's happy.

Unreliable Magazines

I saw a Mr. Unreliable yesterday when he came in for treatment. It was one of the rare times he called me wanting something and actually came in for treatment. I've gotten in the habit of just asking what does he want. I just want to cut through all the BS. When I first moved into the area he was very helpful, but he is unreliable and had gotten worse over the last 4-5 years. Like I've been trying to get my video camera back from him which I lent him 4 years ago. Every time I ask, I don't hear from him in a while. Anyway most of our conversation come around to him wanting to change and make himself better, however that hasn't happened yet. He knows how I am and he's hoping to get better through some form of osmosis I think.

Mr. Unreliable: As you can tell I've gotten bigger.
Me: yeah
Mr. Unreliable: It's fat. I haven't been working out in a while.
Me: (nodding head)
Mr. Unreliable: You've gotten bigger, but it's muscle on you.

Well today is like a non-day for me since I have no patients. So I've been marketing, updating my database, and keeping contact with my contacts. Since I couldn't take it anymore in the office I headed over to Barnes & Nobles to browse around. Checking out a few more of the men's magazines I found a startling realization. Since I really don't know what's out there I'm checking all the mags out. There is a larger gay section of magazines than straight. Maybe it's only me, but I find that odd. My thought is that the gays don't buy, they just grab, pay, and go. Straight guys never buy, they just stand around looking before moving on.

Oh well let me start getting ready for my weekly hike with L.

What's Up World?

Well I started my day off with a business meeting and the Destroyer trying to connect with me. I even got her ass placed in front of my face today. She's really trying to connect with me. If I thought I could just have sex and move on with her I might consider it, but that's the problem with crazy chicks you can't get rid of them that easy. You wake up and your already chained to the bed and not in a good way.

After many attempts to get through to the IRS I finally succeeded today. The 20 minute wait is a real detriment to connecting. Anyway I was happy I faxed over the paperwork last week since they didn't have it, but the lady was nice today and I was able to fax it directly to her. The money had been automatically deposited into her account last November. Why they sent me letter saying it was coming in January is beyond me.

Punk girl is still across the hall. She reminds me of an old employee I use to have. She would just burst into a room without knocking. It was so strong that the ceiling tiles would jump. I could never get across to her that the doctors were in with patients. Anyway Punk girl is the same way with saying hello in the office. And since my desk is behind the door you can't see what I'm doing so half the time I'm either on the phone or in the other room with a patient and she's already talking. Oye.

What the hell happen to Pay Less Shoes? I stopped in today to take a look around. Holy shit all the stuff I usually buy in there was $10-20 more. I think they need to rename it Pay More.

Are you using the whole fist doc?

Well today I had my annual insurance review, even though my last one was 6 months ago, with one of the insurance companies I accept. All businesses keep stats on their expenses and your health care is one of them. So I got reamed for the usual, treating people to much which is very funny since I hardly see these patients compared to others. However they don't want me treating people if they have any pain from a 2 on down on a scale of 0 to 10. In there words you can't tell the difference between a 1 and a 2. It doesn't matter if they have a certain amount of visits per year. If you don't have a serious problem they suggested that the patient pay out of pocket. They are suppose to be sending me literature on this. The last time I had one of these I got demoted on the tier scale which means I have to do more paper work to treat patients. As usual you play their game you get rewarded, if not, then it's no Vaseline.

There isn't much I can say while this is happening since I want to accept there insurance. Thankfully it's not very prevalent in my area. However it reminds me of when I was younger and yessing my Mother to death. I don't care what you're saying; just lets get this over with. It's not a very good feeling or memory.

Then there were two

I really thought I had it in the bag, a record day. My last patients were a couple that always come in together. What happened? Only one came in. WTF? Victory was stolen out of my grasp again.

Well it's just me and the landlord again. Our latest roomie moved out this morning. His job took him up to the peninsula and there is no reason for him to be down here. So with 2 rooms now open we could have weird and wild stories again in the house. It's so true. We had a guy and there wasn't anything to talk about. We get a woman in there and I could start a blog.

I did something yesterday that I will never do again. I went to the gym after 5 at night. Holy shit!!! I had a 3' x 3' square to work out in. There was so many people, it was like sardines in a can. The only good thing it isn't the senior crowd that I'm use to in the morning.

Lazy Weekend

Well I never made it to the gym Saturday or Sunday. After having visitors here for 3 out of the last 4 weeks I was tired. I napped Saturday afternoon after running some errands. Then I spent some time finishing up my dragon poster. There was only 1 piece missing. My landlord, I think, had fallen in love with this picture. He wanted it and fashioned a fill in piece to finish off the puzzle. Hey whatever makes him happy. For me I started another puzzle on Robin Hood.

After being mostly physical at work during the week, it's nice to come home to work my mind out with reading or a puzzle. This weekend I just rested physically. I slept in and felt great.

The one thing I did do this weekend which I don't normally do is look at men's magazines. Not the adult type, but the fashion. It's funny I know a lot about women's stuff, but have no clue about men's fashion. I always hear women say they look at them to see how men think. ROFLMAO!!! I don't think so. Like Cosmo and the others they are trying to impose a lifestyle on you to sell stuff. Anyway I got a few ideas about mixing and matching that I wouldn't have thought of. The biggest thing they really need to do is get straight guys to model the clothes.

SSsssshhhh. Don't tell anyone. I could see 7 people today finally and break a record.

Tired Saturday

Well my Patient Appreciation wine tasting went very well last night. I only had 2 guest, but they each brought someone. One of the other host had 2 people show up and the last host had no one. We still had fun. Hey after a few glasses of wine they were all very happy. Being the sober person was also very enjoyable. I believe I got 2 patients out of it which is great.

I'm freakin' exhausted today. After work here this morning I'll run to the gym, some errands, and then a nap is calling me.

German girl is still working it with sending me pictures of her friend. I politely told her no thanks. Her friend isn't truly my type, plus if I have to date someone I don't want to do it up on the peninsula. I seem to have no trouble finding anyone down here whether I'm looking for a date or not.

Family Visit Part 2

Well it was another possible record day, but it was torpedoed pretty quickly. While collections did suck this week at least I'm going into next week with a record high so I need to keep this momentum going.
I'm beat today. I had dinner with my brother and family last night and then we hung out on the beach for a while. By the time I got home it took a while for me to whine down to sleep. It was day camp at the house when I left this morning. Inverse's daughter stayed the night and Single's son and brother came by early in the morning.
With my change in schedule I've had too many hours waiting around here for my patient appreciation tonight. My new patient today was the first person to get one of my gift bags filled with coupons and gift cards from local businesses. She really liked it so it should be a good thing.
I tell you it's so very funny. My beach hiking pictures are big news on Facebook. I hardly have to say anything to have long conversations happening.

Family Visit

Family visits always tire me out. My brother and family arrived yesterday and I went over to hang with them after my hike with L. With my flat feet I'm usually tired anyway, but staying up late to talk with them didn't help. One of the bigger questions was how our Mom was doing. I told them she'll probably be around another 5-10 years which they weren't too happy to hear. He my Mom has good genes which I know I inherited from her. She'll be 81 this year.
In talking I found out the my 5 year old niece has started up her own business selling pot holders. She's actually doing very well with them. They're being sold in several stores in NJ and PA. The funny thing is that she no longer draws and allowance since she's making more money this way. So no she pays her parents a $1 a week which makes her very happy.
We all went over to visit our Mom today. They got to understand how I describe her. Mom still amazes me with her appropriate answers sometimes. Her memory is Swiss cheese so somethings she can remember and others not. She didn't know my brother by name, but was good with names. Since my brother doesn't see her as much it's much harder for him than it is for me.

Sorry Rabbit

Silly me, I thought I could call the IRS, wait on hold for 15 minutes, and find out what's going on with my Mom's stimulus check she was suppose to get last year. However I was informed that I couldn't do that since there were forms involved. They wanted me to mail them in, but I kept pushing for a fax number so I could move this up from weeks to days.

Went to see Wolverine with the singles last night. I would think it would be a fan boy movie, but there was a lot of women there. In our group it was just Server guy, myself, and 5 women. Seeing Hugh Jackman either flexing his muscles or running around bare ass naked I found out why all the women were paying their dollar to see.

My brother and family are in town. Since I'm hiking with L tonight I'll see them afterwards and we'll do dinner tomorrow night. I see that German girl is still trying to fix me up with one her friends. She's putting their pictures up on her MySpace page so I can check them out. I feel like I'm ordering a mail order bride. She admits that she enjoys the crazy stories too.

Picture This

I had to run a few errands today. I'm starting to give gift bags to all my patients so I'm collecting coupons and give aways from all the business owners I know. Goodies for my patients and better relations with my business associates. Anyway I started seeing people I knew, but didn't really know if you know what I mean. Like I saw Pool man, Lost Prince of Atlantis minus his floaties.

When I stopped at the hair salon that I'm having my Patient appreciation wine tasting Friday. I knew one of the hair stylist from somewhere, but for the life of me I had no clue. I knew I had seen her enough times for her to look familiar, but I knew I didn't know her.

So what's this all have to do with the price of tea in China? Well I was wondering what it would be like to have my camera out to take a picture of all these people I blog about. Then I realized two things. I suck at carrying a camera around and that I already had pictures of most everyone I blog about. Oh well the idea light bulb just went dim.

Well here's a great video if you ever wondered about your parents and sex.


You know I'm happy it's a busy day in the office. I was happier when it was a record breaker, but I had one now show patient. She was the weakest link in the schedule and she didn't show. Actually this is the second time she's pulled a no show which is weird since she's always good about this. The pattern is if she can't make it that day it ain't happening.
It's very funny. Everyone wants to know what's going on in my dating life. Even OVDC asked today about my bachelorhood. When I said nothing she was like come on there's always something. I see that I entertain many of you with my dating adventures. Anyway I told her like I told everyone else that I was taking a break. I know that dating takes my focus and my money, two things that I need right now. My business and Eric are my priorities until the end of the summer. If I can get the business a lot stronger than it covers everything else. However for the moment its borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. The other is I want Eric to come back down next month so it's being added to my budget which at the moment is in the red.

On the home front I got at least 80% of my puzzle done. I'm seriously starting to believe I'm missing a few pictures. My Landlord asked if I wanted to hang it when I was finished since he was doing the same with his. Now no offense to anyone, but nothing screams white trash to me than hanging a puzzle up on the wall.

Public Service Announcement

A note to all patients. If you hurt yourself doing an activity that causes excruciating pain then continue doing the activity in pain for 3 more days until you can't walk. Please don't crawl into my office expecting it all to go away in a few minutes. I'm just saying.

Having become more conscious of my thought patterns in meeting women I had a better time yesterday. I still had to stop myself from asking anyone out, but I didn't get squirrelly which was an improvement. Actually the woman in Starbucks I was able to mirror for a while during our conversation. The few things I've learned to connect with people faster seems to work well.

I texted my ex the other day to see how her dad is doing, but I didn't hear anything back. I'll try again today, but after that I'll let it lie. My brother and family will be here for a few days this week. It'll be nice to see them. I moved my normal hike with L to Wednesday so I could have Thursday night with them. This is going to be a week of busy evenings.

Facebook Friends

I'm a pretty open person as you probably already know. However as the Dancer situation was coming to a close I made my Facebook profile private and eyes only to my friends. She was pretty obsessed with me and her having any connection to me would only keep the fires going. Anyway tonight I got 2 request from friends from when I was married. They were actually the 2 people that got my ex and myself together. The wife was a friend of my ex and I knew the husband. I never really enjoyed there company. So I was happy I was already private when I got there requests. I know the wife is a very nosey body and her husband just goes along with what he's told. Another one of those married friends had sent me an email just asking how I was many moons ago. I responded with a quick response once I knew who it was.

I find it funny sometimes how I'm very trusting with most people, but once that is gone forget about it. That's where I stand with these people. They're my ex's friends. I have no want to have contact with them. I didn't really want to have the contact when I was married, forget it now.

0 - 3

I got a lot of answers yesterday. While at the health fair yesterday there was a children's display and I picked up a bunch of stuff for my new moms in the office. One of the themes was that what you teach a child from 0 - 3 is what will be the most important to them their entire lives. It made sense to me and the reason Eric is so bonded to me. When he was young I taught him how to use utensils, write, climb, etc. I'd get him ready in the morning and bathe and get him ready for sleep at night. I was the one that took care of him through out the night when he needed someone. I was there for a lot of the important stuff and I see it continuing now even though we are far away by what he ask me for help with.

I spent a lot of time last night thinking about this thing with women being attracted to me and why it screws with my head. I came full circle with it when I remembered the 0 -3 thing. I can remember as far back as age 2. All my memories of my early childhood are of me being alone. It truly was lord of the flies lifestyle for me. I remember being in therapy one day talking to my therapist about this. I was alone. I had free run of a very large house, but I can't believe someone wasn't someplace in the house. My therapist said it didn't matter. My perception was that I was alone and that was my reality back then. What this sparked in me is that I never felt wanted by my father, mother, and brother. Those first 3 years were insane years in the family. My Dad kicked us out of the house after a few year brutal marriage. He was a person I never bonded to in my life. My parents ended up getting divorced, however for most of my early childhood my Mom was trying to get back together with him. Those early years we were dirt poor and food was never a guarantee, we lived in a home on the water with no insulation for those cold New York winters. I know my Mom, when things are "normal" she can make rational decisions, but when things are stressed she's a nutty a fruit cake. At the time my brother was finishing high school, doing drugs, stealing, and getting over my father's abuse of him. I was not a priority to these people and that has followed me my entire life. That I was not wanted and I therefore have no worth.

So when a woman shows interest to me, I'm seeing myself as a drowning man and some one's throwing me a life preserver. I'm just all over it like white on rice and I don't like reacting like some Pavlovian dog. I'm excited that women want me, but I would like to have control over my reactions.

Doctor My Eyes

I can tell what my lesson for the week is. Tonight was game night with the singles and it was a lot of fun. During a lull I went up to get something to eat. Standing on line I noticed an attractive Asian girl come in. I know she's standing behind me and I can tell she wants me to look at her. Since I'm not wanting to date right now I don't look. However the cashier is taking forever and I end up turning to look at her. I didn't realize how close she was standing to me. She had her head tilted with a great smile on her face. I just smiled and went back to waiting. I knew if I engaged her in conversation I would ask her out. I know myself. As soon as the switch is thrown in my head, the machine is running, and I'm in dating mode. So the only way I know how to get out of that mode is not to engage. However I find it really hard to let go of a woman that is interested in me and I like too.

When I was married and it happened, and I was surprised how often it did happen, I was better able to handle it. However it still use to leave me a little crazy in my head. This reminds me of something my therapist said. When someone likes you (me) I have to accept something good about me. I grew up a very shy kid and while some women were attracted to me I had a hard time connecting with them. Now in another life I know how to interact and connect with people, but the attention still is new to me. I get a rush from it and I still don't know how to handle it. I can't believe I'm a forty something guy and I'm still dealing with how to handle that Sally likes me in study hall. Intellectually I know I've matured and caught up in my emotional maturity over the last 9 years. However I've only dated in the last 3-4 years truly. Pre marriage I'm not even going to count. So even with about 70 women dated in that time I'm still learning. I just hate being in freakin' kindergarten with this stuff. However I know I would never expect Eric to instinctually to know this stuff, but I do know I hold myself to a lot stricter standard. That was always my therapist's way of getting me to be more gentle with myself. Putting myself in Eric's shoes instead of my own.

A Busy, Busy Day

Oh well it wasn't meant to be. I still have this months payment for my Mom. I'm happy that extra stimulus money is making it into my Mom's account, but I wish I could use it for this month's payment instead of the at the end which I'm grateful will be in September.

I'm tired today. I got up early for some reason. Not quite sure if it's worrying about money or because the Landlord was up early. Anyway it's a busy, busy day. Because of the money thing I agreed to come in early to squeeze in a patient before I run to a health fair for most of the day. Since I didn't get a chance to go to the gym yesterday like I usually do I'll do it after the fair. Then it's off to hang with the singles for game night. Surprisingly enough Tango girl is coming. Why I mention this is that I'm still not use to women being interested in me so I still get a little screwy in my own head with it. While Tango girl has her head on straight as far as I can tell, it can be a problem with someone like Asp. I reflexively start flirting and going down the path of asking them out in my head when I know it's not a good thing. I'm trying to get a better handle on it.

I tell you I'm still working on the puzzle from hell. I need to take a picture for you all. Why is it the puzzle from hell you ask? Well I'll tell you. Too many pieces fit together when they shouldn't. I was pretty ecstatic last night when I got some nice size pieces to fit together last night. Only to realize about 30 minutes later that they don't go together at all. Yes sometimes being color blind is a bitch. Also I'm still not completely sure that all the pieces are in the box. Hey it was 58 cents so I shouldn't be complaining, but it's a lot of work. I would like to say why the hell did I ever start this, but I have to admit I'm pretty freakin' hooked on finishing the bastard.


It's been a while since I've had my emotions run through their full range in under a minute. I stopped by to see my Mom today. My other plan was to pay my monthly bill there. I knew she has extra money in her account so I was going to transfer it out and pay what's left. Over the months I knew she should have gotten some stimulus checks. Anyway the biller was like you have over $500 in the account so you don't have to pay this month. I was ecstatic since then I could get into the green a lot faster this month without this payment. However a few seconds later she was like whoops that's a mistake. SHIT!!! The good thing is in the 10 minutes I was there she couldn't explain away the extra money in the account. So I'm asking for a prayer that all the extra money is correct. Thank you.

You Think I'm Cute

Well I have to admit I was surprised that my crazy chick spell dissipated while hiking with L. She didn't know about it, but my head cleared so I was happy. I think pheromones must be in the air or something since a bunch of women were looking at me at the beach which is something I'm not use to. I have to admit most of them were a little younger than I would like to date, but some were my age.

It's going to be a very cheap weekend. I need to pay off one more big bill tomorrow. I hate to say it all comes down to how things are put in the bank which means I'm going to get screwed. Hopefully not though.

Tonight it's off to see J Medicine Hat at the Funny Bone with the singles. The last time I saw him I was there with Happy girl and she was a volunteer. It was very interesting. This time I think it'll be a little more normal.

Crazy Hot Chicks

The two weeks between school being out and the Fourth of July have left my bank account empty since the office has been slow. So I'm scraping money together to pay bills and that always create anxiety in me. At these low moments I'm always the most susceptible to hot crazy chicks. Enter the Destroyer. I had my business meeting this morning and she was there in a little outfit, lots of skin. Yeah my crazy radar went off, but I'm having a hard time getting her out of my mind. I've had to stop myself from thinking of reasons to call her. Oye.

On other fronts Tango girl who I do like has been asking me on Facebook what I like to do in my spare time. I'm not use to be asked that out of the blue although I have to admit that I've been catching more women looking at me lately.

The 6th of July

For some ungodly reason my high speed Internet is on the fritz today. While I took care of some thing at the office on dial up, most of my office stuff needs a bit faster speed. This is interesting since at home all I have is dial up and I'm perfectly happy. I guess I'm not use to having any restrictions at work. It hasn't been to bad for a Monday at the office. Hopefully it will continue through the week since I need money to pay bills this week.

I continued my world domination of the neighborhood today by dropping off free treatment coupons for the firefighters and EMTs across the street from the office. I haven't done it in a few years. I've never gotten anyone from it, but hey it's a nice way to say thanks. I think the coffee shop around the block is next on my list.

My ex texted my last night to say that her dad still wasn't doing to well. A strange notion hit me afterwards. Her dad has been sick for a while and slowly deteriorating. I started wondering I'm the backup plan. My ex always needs someone to take care of her and there is no one else. Eric still needs at least another 10 years to fill those shoes. So I wouldn't put it past her to be scoping out her next victim and since I'm the only victim around it could be me. Hey this is my conjecture, but I know how she works and believe me this isn't to far fetched.

On my side of the street it's no fucking way. Besides being poor I'm very happy in my life. I'm doing things that I never thought I would do and pushing the envelope in many parts of my life with work and personal life. In part I'm happy to say that I'm making the same amount of money as last year, but I really need more to prosper. Although I am making do with less this year since I'm paying many extra bills off.

I'm hoping for a big push this month. I put out a lot of stuff in the local newsletters to hopefully get my Medicare population up. Not that they are money makers, but they do nicely filling in all the empty space. The rest is getting coupons all over the place in the neighborhood. I'm shooting for being everywhere.

Light and Dark

It was a good day of getting back to my normal routine. I hit the office to treat a patient and to see if anyone else needed treatment on this holiday. It also allowed me to catch up on all my emails in my box that weren't kid friendly.
I was meeting L for an afternoon hike so I grabbed some lunch before hand. I'm sick of fast food for a while, at least hamburgers. Eric loves Hardees and since they don't have them in NY I try to appease his desire for them. However 6 days of the stuff has burned me out on red meat.
This was the first time I've hiked on the beach on the weekend and a holiday at that. It was a bit surreal since it was packed and not the usual emptiness that I'm use to. However there was a nice open stretch of sand unoccupied near the water for us to walk on, so it really panned out for us. Since the water is so calm as its the bay and it's a neighborhood beach, they take advantage of it. Tents were all over the place. Huge inflatables were every where.
I wasn't going to do anything for the Fourth since I'm not a big fan of it, but L didn't want to go out an party with friends so she asked if I wanted to go down to the beach to watch the show.

So after a few errands and a nap I headed on back there to see the show. Actually the area doesn't have a show, but both neighborhoods on either side do. However the beach is usually packed with people drinking and shooting off fireworks. The place becomes a mess. So this year the police really cracked down on it and did a pretty good job. People still shot off fireworks when they weren't looking, but not much happened. Although one idiots fireworks did start a fire on someone lawn. They got it out pretty quickly, but let me tell you there were some pretty high flames there. Afterwards we grabbed a drink and relaxed before heading our separate ways.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

I tell you flying is fun, but dropping someone off so they can fly sucks. We left early to get to the airport since the tunnel is notorious for backups. Thank god that the flood happened yesterday and caused a 20 mile backup. Anyway we played Uno to pass the time. Eric played Gameboy and I read. He was in pretty good spirits about flying by himself. I have to admit it was the first time I wasn't sad to see him go. I don't know if it's because he left me or I'll be seeing him soon. Plus with him being able to fly by himself we can hopefully see each other every 2 months. I did find out that when you're on the plane you don't realize how much time the plane just sits around. Like at the gate, then where they drop it off, and then on the runway. Holy shit 30 minutes later it finally takes off. I had visions of Eric freaking out inside the plane and that's what the hold up was, but atlas it wasn't. It was just normal slowness. Anyway the flight went very well and Eric did his happy dance when he got to NY. He was very excited about it all.

I'm looking forward to going through many things I've saved all week that NSFW or Eric since that was the case. One thing I'm anal about is emptying my email box out and it's been really weird about having it have stuff in it all week long.

I do a patient spotlight with my patients each month and one of my questions is name a pet peeve. For me I would say my only one is don't kick the back of my seat. However I realized this week that's because I live alone. See when you have to deal with another person's shit you have many pet peeves as I learned this week living with Eric. A lot of it is what his mother allows which would never float with me. Like leaving shit lying all over the place, not flushing, etc. I think I need to make a check list for him for every room in the house.

Everybody Loves Sid

Well we finally talked to Eric about flying home by himself since his mom is taking care of her father and the rest of the family is MIA. He thought about it, but I knew he could handle it. At the end he agreed to go home by himself which means we'll see each other every 2 months which will be great.
Today was a great day in the office. Not so much the amount of patients, but interaction. I had a patient come in today for a second opinion since the other chiropractor they went to was excessive with the treatment plan he talked about after he pulled out all the bells and whistles. I just did my usual full exam which many of my patients is more complex than when they see their internist. I think picking up that her contact wasn't up right which she suspected and that I could help her out in only a couple of visits made them feel better. I was just happy to help someone. Also I was able to network another new patient and hopefully get a few others that she knows.
Money was almost non-existent this week with insurance money so I need to talk to my landlord about being a week late with the rent. I know he'll have no problem with it since I've always paid on time, but I hate having the talk.

I tell you I'm a total spaz when it comes to sunscreen. I missed my back and I got a mild sunburn yesterday. I think I need to just get a tank that I can dip myself or hire someone to put it on for me.

Beach Days

It was off to the beach today. Pictures will have to follow since I left my camera at the office. We parked over at L's to save money and Chesapeake beach is more resident friendly. The beach was crowded and the water was very nice. I'm not a big water person anymore. I went in with Eric to keep and eye on him since he still can't swim. We built sandcastles and just enjoyed the beach.

The rest of the day we hung out in the office playing games and trying to stay cool since everyday is in the 90's with bright sun. So the afternoon is the worse time to be outside.

My ex's dad has sepsis and is still battling it as of last night. I haven't heard any updates today. Tonight I'll need to find out if the ex is coming down to pick up Eric or is he going back up himself a little ahead of schedule. I've still been pushing the whole flying by himself thing. He hasn't said no, but hasn't jumped for joy yet.

Oh yeah I found an email from Dancer in my spam box. Just deleted it.
Related Posts with Thumbnails