Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Role Playing

I've done role playing since I was 12-13. I done many games and have become quite good at it. However as I get older there is less and less time to put into it. I do miss it. I've changed mediums a few times. So in the last two years or so I've turned it towards sex. Why because everything usually ends with sex with me. RP Girl approached me about a month ago. She had seen me around and knew I had a reputation as a good role player. So she got my attention and asked a bunch of questions. One of the big problems with role playing is finding creative, intelligent, and witty people. So I suggested a quick scenario to get her feet wet so to say. She was a natural and instantly hooked. What she didn't take to heart was that the more you know someone the better the role playing. I didn't hear or see her around for a few weeks. Then we ran into each other again. She had role played with a few other guys and was having fun. I suggested a Forbidden Fruit scenario if she was game. She asked a few questions. RP Girl was surprised how exciting it sounded. I told her it was because I learned a lot from her the last time. I pointed out what I had did and the things I said to see what she liked and didn't and got a measure of her. So we played it out. Having now played with others she knew why I had the reputation. It was the details I put in that made the difference and took it to another level. Due to scheduling we've been unable to find time to RP. As always I'm on the look out for new and better. I found it this week on a older blog. Since RP Girl said that she would rather I be the dom in these scenarios it would work real well. So I sent her a message asking if she would mind being blindfolded and tied up. She loved the idea. It re-enforced some of the things in place already so we just needed to set up a time. We'll it ended up I had the afternoon free before pizza and she was free from grad school and was off from work till next week. I didn't know how it would work out, but I was excited to try.

To say it worked out really well would be an understatement. Too bad we weren't in the same room.

Here's Hoping

Well I got the call from the attorney's office this morning. They resubmitted the paperwork for a docket next Wednesday at 9:30. They didn't come out and say it, but I need to be there. So I need to shift patients around. The other thing since it is short notice the judge has the right not to see it. Can we all say "WTF". I need 90 seconds of the judge's time. Look and sign that's easy. Chimps do it.

Monogamous Serial Dater

It worked out really well. Wednesday Energy Girl sent me an email saying to stop in for a free treatment to say thanks for a referral that I had given her. It had been a small thing, but it had lead to big things. She was on TV, a few local talks, and she is going to get flown to LA for a conference. Also her parents met friends they haven't seen since they were young in the Philippines. I though it would be good to go with a part of my life over. I went cause I was stressed out. Still works for me. So she did her intake and she labeled me the monogamous serial dater. She's one me about being less B & W with dating. Anyway it was fun to talk to someone about my past and see there face. I talk to so many people now a days, but most are online so I don't see there faces. I've come to count on the faces for validation of some of the insanity of my past. So we went over my ex and Energy Girl was just looking at me and asking me, "Mike your an intelligent guy?" Ah, but this was a lifetime ago when I was a very different person. The high point and I haven't had this in a LONG time. What's your brothers name: Frank. What's your other brothers name: Mike. I can see the pen moving then stop. Her face screwing up in a WTF? face. God I miss seeing those faces. Anyway Energy Girl is an energy specialist and she helps unblock the energy in your body. She's very good.

Salsa last night was a mixed bag. While it was a good crowd and familiar faces. The instructor teaches the opposite of every one else. Opposite foot, opposite direction. ARGH! I though it would easier. Guess not. I know if you know what you are doing he's great to learn new fancy moves. Being the new guy it is a little frustrating, but I persevered. Asked many a lady to dance during the breaks to practice. The down side of the place is all the really good guys come in when the lessons is just about over and grab all the girls to dance with so there is no one to practice with. I have to admit salsa seems to be more male driven. There are plenty of men dancing with less women. Strange. Smile Girl was absent from last night so adios to her.

The truly interesting thing about last night is the Asian table. It's these four Asian women. All very beautiful and 3 of them have asses! Now to many this many be like who cares. However Asian women don't have asses. To find one is like winning the mega millions lottery. Now here is 3 in one place. What are the odds. Now before you all jump the gun they are all married. So the moral is if you meet an attractive Asian woman with an ass marry her.

Thursday Thirteen

Well I was going to do this week's Thirteen to celebrate my divorce. Since that didn't happen (see prior entry) I had to change it a little.

Thirteen Things I Don’t Miss About My Ex

1. Waking up to find my lunch gone
2. Anxiety & dread before walking in the door after work
3. Not having someone hog the bed, sheets, and my pillow
4. Worrying that I’ll find her dead one day
5. Endless hours of serial killer shows
6. What will happen if I change my mind on anything
7. All the snide, cutting remarks
8. My shirts all stretched out
9. Doing all the cooking, cleaning, and shopping for a family of 3
10. All the suicidal attempts
11. Money just flying out the window
12. The endless snooze alarms
13. Being attached at the hip

Still Legal!!!!!!!!!!

Well it was an adventure in divorce court this morning. Since I've never been to Norfolk court and I know how problematic Virginia Beach court can be I wanted to get there early. So Landlord and myself got there and it was a breeze. The had information people that were right on the mark. So we ended up waiting a while. However I started getting tense the closer it got to 10 with no sign of an attorney. So at 10 I walked in hoping I could do it by myself. Thankfully at 10:15 a fill in attorney walked in saying my attorney was stuck on a criminal case down the hall. So we quickly did the paperwork and went back in for the fun to start.


1) no sign of the separation agreement

2) Landlord can't attest to my ex not being in the military

3) judge doesn't like the wording in the document

So we step out to wait. I'm freaking since no one in Virginia can attest to anything on my ex and getting someone down from NY would be almost impossible since it can't be my ex. After a while we are called back in.


1) since the agreement isn't part of the complaint we drop it with no further problem (cool)

2) the judge accepts Landlord's here say testimony that my ex is not in the military (thank you judge - 2 down)

3) She doesn't like section 6 in the papers and wants it rewritten and resubmitted.


The good thing neither Landlord nor I need to return, but I will do so to make sure. Now the next problem is seeing if my attorney will try and bill me for his removal of his words. So I am in a weird state with hopes not yet fufilled.

The Exceptional Interview

The Exception was interviewed on her blog the other day. It was a good one so I volunteered to be the next victim ... I mean person. So here it is:

1. What is your favorite asset on the female body? Wow just one part? I love the whole package, but if I have to pick one part (*frowning) I would have to say a woman's ass. You need to have one for me to date you. Women may joke, but there are many women out there that don't have one or it looks like they dumped a load in their pants. There needs to be good cheekage, a soft hip angle, and a nice roundage. Yes there are actual physics in my head for the perfect ass.

2. What is your theme song? I don't have one. I don't really connect with music in that way. I will say that "Get Back" by the Beatles was my first favorite song as a child and till this day it still has a special spot inside me. Why I have no clue, but it is tied to my earliest memories.

3. Which cartoon character most closely represents you? I would say Batman (from the 90's). I have plenty of baggage that I've been dealing from childhood and that drives me forward to always improve myself. Also what I have experienced has made me sensitive to those around me who also have been hurt. With that experience I am able to help those I encounter. Like my patient said this morning. Her doctor asked her did she start seeing a therapist. She replied no I started seeing a chiropractor. Plus I have I guess a dark side that I channel into the positive areas of my life.

4. Why did you choose your current profession and is it where you see yourself in ten years?
My SIL gave me the newspaper ad for chiropractic college and it all just fell into place. I had been floundering for YEARS on what to do with myself. I worked a lot of crap jobs (see Thursday Thirteen) and I had no direction. I had been to chiropractors in my life and one had just helped me with my knee the year before. So it was what I was looking for. Working with my hands. Similar work each day, but each event was different. Also I could help people. If you asked me like 5-7 years ago I would have said yes, but not very excited about it. Today I say a big YES! I still struggle with the practice and getting it off the ground, but if brings me immense happiness. Something I never had when I was working for others even though I was making lots of money.

5. When were your "Glory Days?" That's easy. I'm in them now. No other time in my life have I been as happy as I am now. Life still throws a lot at me, but each day I learn to handle it better and with it life gets better.

Now it is your turn. If you would enjoy being grilled by the "Sane" interrogator then:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Life = Fun

I opened my daily meditation today and the message was the life should be fun, if it wasn't why would anyone want to do it. It's so true life is hard enough and if you don't work to make it fun what's the point. It made me feel even better about starting up dancing. Coming home the nights I wasn't working to watch DVD's while fun isn't the same as going out and doing something physical with other people. The first thing that blared in my mind when I came home last Thursday was reality beats fantasy. My little rut of reading at Starbucks and watching DVD's wasn't satisfying me. I know I have to be very careful since I can settle pretty fast which is a bad thing. So it seems this is the lesson that is being re-enforced with me since we talked about it Monday night at my meeting. I made a promise to live my life to the fullest and I don't want to go back on it.

The Three Amigos & a Side of Salsa

My Landlord and myself have dinner down to a science. He's very OCD and dinner will be on the table at 7:30. So I know at 7:10 I can set the table since it will be cleaned by then and I can go back down at 7:27 to grab drinks and the food will be waiting to put on the table. It was also the first Quiet Guy would be with us. Although he might of had plenty of dinners with our Landlord since I've been out most nights. However he didn't know any of the ritual so I doubt it.

So with laundry done I headed out for another night of salsa dancing. Central 111 was a small, but nice place. No real dance floor, but since the place was pretty empty it didn't really matter. However it was all guys besides our teacher who was a woman this time. So we talked the waitresses into joining us. One did, but the other declined. (more about her in a moment) Some guys girlfriend then joined us and he kept disappearing so it worked out. Again it was very nice to have actual instruction and I was able to tighten up my dance steps and learn how to better guide a woman with twirls and cross overs. Since we were female challenged on the dance floor we rotate on the side. This is when I talked with Blond Waitress. She was a walking blond stereotype. She was blond, attractive, half dressed, and dumb as toast. She just liked attention it seemed, but after about 2 minutes all the attractive flesh was really being unbalanced by the lack of a good conversation. So I let her talk to the other guy who were more than happy to talk to her. The funny thing was the guys were all blind stinkin' sober and we had no problem getting up and trying to dance. All the women were shy about dancing. It was weird.

Doing Research

Just checking through my blog and looking at all my labels. The most I've used is dating and the second runner up is pizza. Now if we just hired an attractive non smoking woman at the pizza place I could combine the two. Now that would be sweet.

I was looking for the common denominator in my entries that drew the most post, but their didn't seem to be any. Not that I was looking for direction for my writing. I'm a physical person and I need physical release for my emotions. When I was younger that was sex. If I had a strong emotion I needed sex to help process it. Now when I'm with someone I will talk it out. However I'm not always with someone and writing is a physical release for me. I've done it for years now and it has evolved into what you are reading now. For those in the Blogger world I've done this for about 2 years on AOL with a side one of my early life struggles. For my AOL fans I also have a blog over in the counter universe.

TMI Tuesday

Hey it's Tuesday again and you know what that means.

1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received? A relationship is work.

2. How many people have you dated at once? one I don't think I could handle more. How many people do you think it is acceptable to date at once? If it is non-committal doesn't really matter

3. What made your worst kiss so bad? Never had a bad kiss. However this one girl I dated always went the opposite way of me. We always went the opposite and it was just awkward.

4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad? I don't think so. It is one part of the relationship. Any like anyone part is bad it will be the tire that spins in the mud.

5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have sex with them? Kiss. I say this since for a long time my ex would never kiss me during sex. I couldn't believe how much I missed it. So amazing how something so small meant so much.

Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Don't have one, but women will say it is my smile.

Quick - Quick - Slow

Tonight's salsa was so different from last week. Club 7 is pretty much 7 different dance areas which are on different levels. So it's like private areas. I did get to meet Salsa Girl. The great thing (since I see it's a different instructor next week) was the two instructors tonight. One for the guys and the other for the ladies. They went slow, gave us drills, and really taught us. I learned how to do the salsa basic plus a few tricks. It was fun. The bad was that all the women came with dates. So when the lessons were over the women returned to their guys and their was just a bunch of guys and no one to practice with. It was balanced by feeling confident in doing salsa now. So hoping that Monday night will stay teaching and Thursday can be more of meeting women. I'll try and get my laundry done early enough tomorrow to make it over to the event tomorrow night.

Lay Over

Finally I had some time to hang yesterday so I was able finally to do some cleaning. I still had clothes laying around from last week's trip to NY. So it was really nice to come home last night after work to find it nice and clean. Now I just need to squeeze some time for laundry.

Looking forward to going out dancing tonight. Tomorrow night's dancing is later than the rest so if I can get a load of laundry done before dance time I'll go since it is close to the house.

Port Girls late night clothes gathering is becoming tiresome. It must be somewhere around 2 or 3 in the morning. The worse is since our rooms are together and she has a squeaky board in her closet I hear it and it wakes me up. Besides that it has been 2 nights of good sleep and it feels good.

3 days and counting to divorce court.

Question to You All

I know Smile Girl has my number since she had me call her in the club and she saved it. I'm not to big of a fan of the second call. I can be a hard ass that way, but am I being too much of one? 36 hours later and still no return call. Do I try again Monday or just let it lie?

I guess I ask cause I have to admit I really enjoyed my time with her. Her smile was very intoxicating.

Saturday Night Special

Well She's party was fun. I have to admit her Mom's description that it was an ADD party was pretty well on. Their was food galore, a bar outside, a pool tournament, 2 blackjack tables, and massages upstairs. Plus some small games with the DJ. It was most people from her networking event. I was surprised I knew many people and made some quick friends. To get with the action I played some blackjack. I'm not a gambler, but we all got $1000 free. It was fun, but after a while I figured I blow my money and grab a massage. Tell you I couldn't get rid of my money. At $21k I finally just folded. I was like this is never going to end. I then went upstairs to relax. I got a hand massage while waiting for a chair on. I've given enough hand massages to finally get one of my own. She wasn't a professional just someone trying to help. It was okay. The massage was okay. I've had better, but hey it was free. The funny thing was She has 2 massage chairs up there also. One lady looked like she was getting more of a massage than most by her face. I wish I had a camera. After a little more talking I headed out for dancing with friends.

An interesting side note was that anywhere I go I usually meet someone that gets my Monday Motivations. I know I have 300 people that it goes out to, but it's still funny to find out something I started out a year ago to have grown so much and people just love it. They share with their friends, forward to their employees, and even some print them out and save them in a book. Who knew?

I knew where Chevy's was so it was easy to find. I walked in a was asked for a $5 cover charge. Friends told me there would be known. I look around and see that I am first so I grab a drink. A $4 coke. Hey I'm loving this place. I've been fucked twice in 2 minutes. So I sit to wait. I grab a table by the door so I can see who comes in and has a view of a TV. It's NASCAR which I have no interest in, but I stare at it anyway. Now I haven't been in a nightclub for I don't know how long. Two sizes too small halter tops and belts around the waitresses asses was the norm. Actually one waitress the belt wasn't covering everything. I noticed because it was hypnotizing me with her gyrations to the music. Anyway 1 1/2 hours later there is still no sign of anyone. The place has filled up pretty well. There are many attractive women around, but for some reason there all smoking. I look around at the guys an not many are smoking. Weird. I do have to admit the ratio of women to men is about 3:1 which would be good if they weren't smoking. Since the place is huge I figured I wander around and see if anything is worth staying for, but atlas no.

I think I'll stick to the Latin dancing. No matter if you are alone or with someone you're interacting with everyone.

Instant Gratification

Okay I have to admit with some things I have no patience. Point in question: I call Smile Girl yesterday and I have to leave a message on her cell. I want a call back ASAP. I know unrealistic, but I hate sitting in my own juices while waiting for the call back. Mike's not happy.

What I am truly not happy about is why I am in my office on a Saturday morning, exhausted, and waiting for a no show new patient that I called and reminded yesterday. I could have slept this morning. I haven't had a solid 8 hours of sleep in 2 weeks. I'm pretty run down. Well I'll give her 10 more minutes then I'll hit the gym. The good thing I'll grab a nap before I go to She's house warming party. Depending on my energy level I'll see if I go out dancing afterwards.

I'm very excited that on Mondays at 8 their is another Latin dance meeting. The best part my men's meeting ends at 8 3 blocks a way. It was meant to be.

Multiple Orgasms

The afternoon was slow at the office. RP Girl was around so we started chatting. We both were bored and after the usual crap people talk about the subject turned to sex. Nothing like sex to tweak up a conversation. Anyway the conversation went all over the place and finally landed on things we liked. I told her I loved going down on a woman. She asked a few questions and I told her I had been a little frustrated with L. She asked why and I replied cause L would only allow me to give her one orgasm before pushing me away. I like to at least go for 2-3 which satisfies me. I really didn't think anything about what I said until I heard her whimper. I looked at her and her face was in shock. (I think her boyfriend is really going to be working his tongue out tonight). She was like wow to have a bunch of orgasms together. I added then to have sex afterwards was really fun. I kind of lost her their in her own daydreams.

However it got me thinking. Now women can have mutiple orgasms and we men are jealous as all hell. However if you have been blessed with them how come women aren't taking advantage of them. I mean if you have legs go out and run. Maybe it has just been the last few women that I have information on that has skewed the bell curve. What are your comments?

Professional Courtesy

I've found out that silence is sometimes the best answer with my patients. So when a female patient makes a comment about having a big butt my mouth seals shut. In the real world I usually make a nice comment. The degree of it being how nice said butt is. Now today's was a very good butt and it's always framed in a nice thong. So when I heard those words. I could immediately see the snare with it's tempting treat there. I know lines can blur momentarily, but I do know once crossed their is no going back which is something I can never afford.


I have to admit having gone out with L I learned about a lot of the restaurants in the area. When I went out with April back in the beginning of the year I was asking everyone what was nice and where to go. In thinking where to go for drinks with Smile Girl I actually had to think about it to make a choice. I wanted someplace nice, but quiet so we could talk. It was hard on the dance floor. Also we both couldn't talk and dance at the same time. So with some thought I think Isla's will work out well. The have a nice selection of appetizer's and it is a relaxed atmosphere. The places it nice views of the water are just to noisy to get to know someone.

Thankful & Other Stuff

Ugh I'm thankful I'm a chiropractor. I forget how much my back aches after dancing a lot. Although I was happy my flat feet didn't bother me at all last night. I'll call Smile Girl this afternoon and set up our date for next week since she works all weekend.

It was nice to go over my gratitude list this morning for yesterday and have it take a while. I was proud of all the things I did or accomplished which is always weird to say.

Port Girl made an unexpected appearance at the house this morning even though she does live there. I was happy to hear that she won custody of her 2 daughters. Something she has fought hard for for over a year now. The only condition was that she move back to Conn. So in 6 months she will be gone.

Latin Dancing

OMG was it fun. The funny thing is that it started weird. It was a Meetin event and I had never met anyone before. When I arrived a little early the place was empty. I mean empty. It was only me and the bartender. Slowly people started to arrive. However no one from the group. Now the event was suppose to start at 7:30. It was 7:45 and still no one. Then just before 8 this girl Jinni arrived. We both new our pics from the event site, but there was still no sign of the person hosting it. Anyway the lessons began. Now I've paid $10 in the past for lessons and the lasted less than an hour. This was free tonight and we learned salsa and merange. I mean the guy does teach us the Evelyn Wood way, but it was fun none the less. He did pay a lot more attention to teaching the women then he did us guys. We got shown once and that was it. So salsa is like building a nuclear device with Popsicle sticks. You can sort of make it look like it, but it doesn't really work right. Now merange was a different story. I can do that very easy and I can guide my partner with some ease.

Now one thing I do admit being there is that I miss the Hispanic community. I worked it for most of my chiropractic career. Okay I really miss Hispanic women. They drip sexuality. Form there outfits to their movements. We were constantly changing partners. Asians and Caucasians we kept or personal space. However with the Latinas it was up close and personal. I tell you it was nice to guide a woman through a twist and feel a bare back.

Anyway Jinni and I just didn't click. We danced well together, but that was it. When I wanted to dance some more she told me it was okay to ask other women. So I asked the pair of girls next to us. Smile girl jumped at the chance. Both were attractive, but I was happy Smile girl accepted. Her friend while attractive and half dressed smoked. Something I didn't want to smell. I instantly liked Smile Girl. Her laugh and smile just drew me in. We had a fun time dancing and talking. I really wanted to kiss her. However when lessons started again we were separated by incredibly good looking couple. At least I think they were a couple. I knew they knew each other. Anyway I got the girl and Smile Girl the guy. It was merange time and it's more of a sensual dance when down right. So it was probably better if I wasn't with Smile Girl since we didn't know each other that well. However I had a tall, gorgeous, Latina to dance with. No real chemistry, but dancing was very exciting.

Through it all I lost Smile Girl and wound up back with Jinni. I really wanted to get back to Smile Girl, but she was dancing with another guy who was sticking to her like glue. I waited at the table waiting for them to finish so I could ask her out if this guy didn't click with her. Jinni decided to leave. While I was waiting I asked someone else out to dance, but she was very good and I couldn't keep up so it didn't last long.

Taking a seat again I nursed my drink until Smile Girl came back off the dance floor with out the guy. She came over to me to talk before walking back over to her friend. I waited to see what the guy was doing since they hung out for a while. However he disappeared so I went over and asked Smile Girl if she would like to go out for drinks next week. She said yes and we exchanged numbers.

I think I'm going to have to make sure that I have Thursdays off cause that was so much fun.

No Regrets

Since I had some minimal free time this week I signed up to go Salsa dancing tonight and after She's house warming party head out dancing with people I don't know. Hey I accept that I'm nuts and just go with it. Anyway I awoke this morning with gibbering monkey part of my brain trying to talk me out of tonight. That I don't know anyone and I haven't salsaed in a while. However I made a promise to myself years ago not to let fear rule my life. Growing up I let fear and insecurity stop me from experiencing a lot of life. When I realized it I swore I would no longer do that. Looking back I've done very well with it. So armed with my promise I'll be there to salsa. As far as I can tell Salsa Girl is the only one going besides me. I know she is very good so I'm feeling a slight bit intimidated.

My Landlord agreed this morning to be my witness next Thursday at my divorce hearing. Happy for that since he is dependable and in 7 days I want it all over.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about YOUR NAME
1…. Start your list here!
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thirteen Things I Did on my Trip to See my Son

1) Ninja sword fight
2) Build sandcastles on the beach
3) Tickle fights
4) Play Pokemon Monopoly
5) Shovel vomit out of my car
6) Visited the Children’s museum

7) Went to McDonalds play place
8)Went rock climbing on the jetties
9)Saved clams that had washed up on the beach
10) Watched Modern Marvels on History
11) Built a plane
12) Walked the boardwalk
13) Took plenty of pictures


Hey the poll place is finally working. I'll put new questions there every week. Enjoy.

The Forgotten Story

A story I forgot about from the weekend was when Eric and I stopped at Pathmark to get some food for dinner. We're walking out and heading to the car when someone excuses them self behind us. I turn around and it's this guy on a bike. I smell panhandler. He tells me he and his daughter are homeless and could he have some money. I remember her and that they were hanging out on their bikes in front of the store when I walked in. I told him I couldn't help him. Now I've dealt with panhandlers from the Bronx and all the ones we have down here in VA. I've heard all the stories. I really think their is a website out there somewhere for the stories since they all seem to get them after a while. Anyway this guy doesn't let up. He ask for change. I say sorry. How about back in the car. Sorry. Anything? At this point my son chirps in that he'll check his pockets. The guy says no he couldn't do that, but he doesn't leave anyway. Eric only has lint and papers in his pocket. This guy is annoying me and I feel like telling him I work 2 jobs and I saved up to come see my son. If you think you're getting a penny of it you've got another thing coming. Anyway we walk away and I tell Eric that he did a nice thing.

Pizza Bitching

As always I meet many characters as I deliver pizza. Tonight's prime example is the young couple. While she fills out the credit card slip he hands me a religious pamphlet. I really wish I had one of those stickers that says "Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole." At least they tipped. If not I might of had to beat him with his own pizza box. Hey if that guy in Kansas could defeat the guy with a lead pipe. I'm not to worried.

The rest of the night was the usual people. The only thing is that we had a sever thunderstorm come through while I was delivering. Now it annoys me to no end that people aren't prepared for when I arrive. I don't need to be banging on your door 3 separate times to answer. Forgot about it if I'm calling you to open the door so you can eat. However when it's a monsoon outside you better be moving your ass. However that wasn't the case.

New Header

As you can see I was bored today when I had a reschedule. Free time + me = weird shit.

TMI Tuesday

I think someone has been smoking crack for this week's TMI Tuesday:

1. What’s the deal with blue balls? Only had this problem once, but it does leave a lasting impression. GF and I just watched a porn and then we went at it. The worse thing is that you just need a little push to get over the hump. 45 minutes later I still couldn't get over the hump and she was like lets call it quits.
2. What is the hottest vehicular sex scene in a movie? Jeez I can't think of any
3. Strap-on? yes, no, give, receive? Uh no, No, NO!
4. What is the average penis length? 6 inches
5. How do you stimulate his prostate? Guys, do you like it? Never had it done.

Odds & Ends

I've almost forgotten that I asked Chamber Girl out yesterday. I didn't have that nice feeling afterwards. There was nothing. I don't think it will happen. Also if you can't tell me "no" it's a turn off.

Actually I started talking to B Girl (no she's not plan B) yesterday afterwards. We seemed to click pretty well, but she had to run to take care of her daughter so hopefully we can talk again today or tomorrow.

Happy to say the "puke" smell in my car is finally gone after I doused it with a WHOLE lot of Febreeze. I wasn't watching when my son downed that McFlurry and it came right back up. I know how it is to live with my Ex. Among many things she is also a food addict. You have to choices with food in the house. To stuff it down or do with out cause you will never know if it will be there later.

What I Like

When I was dating this woman about 2 years ago. Jeez where does time go. Anyway she called to break up with me. She was honest and then she asked if I was okay. I told yeah I was okay. She seemed shocked. I then told her that I was sad that we weren't going out anymore, but I was okay with it. The reason was she told me. I wasn't left hanging which kills me.

So back to Chamber Girl. I called her back, but she wasn't there so after 2 tries I left a message. I didn't know if she would call back, but that would be very telling of her if she didn't. So she did finally call and I said I thought she misheard me and wanted to know if she wanted to go out for drinks with me. She said yes, but she had a friend staying this week so she was busy this week. I was okay with it. I told her to let me know when she was free, but I'll call her next week to see what is going on. Nervousness short circuited my brain. I was surprised she was kind of flat on the phone. So we'll see.

That was Weird?

I was talking to Chamber Girl on the phone. I had a referral for her. We talked about a few business things and then I asked if she would like to have drinks with me. Then she talked about some networking event she was having with a restaurant that she would make sure I knew about. Then she had to go. ???????????????? Did I accidentally mumble? Did she mishear me? Did she change subjects to avoid the topic? RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I guess I have to go back in there to find out what is going on?

The Weekend Trip

Well I have to admit the trip up went well. I was in a good frame of mind. Not really worried about money. I didn't have to deal with my FIL and it would be an easy handover with my ex. Their was accidents all over the place, but luckily they were on the other side of the highway.

It was great to see Eric again and we had my friend Paul's place on the ocean to ourselves since he was away. The weirdest thing was I got up the next morning look out on the beach and everyone is walking around with pants and sweat jackets on. WTF? It's August? I just left Hell's Inferno in Virginia, but I still would imagine it it would be warm in NY. It did get better as the day went on.

One thing I did realize hanging with my son is that he just downs food with no thought. With that he is either getting stomach aches or puking. So I tried to show him how big his stomach is and some things to slow him down.

I have to admit I love seeing my son, but from nothing to 150% is rough. It is total over stimulation for my brain and at times I just want to crawl into a ball. Other than that we had fun on the beach, boardwalk, and museums.

I tell you I could have used a jacket by the time I left. It was in the 60's in the day time.

Oh the Insanity of it All

Trying to get rid of the problematic poll on the sidebar I lost all of my blog links. AAHhHHH! I'm in the midst of trying to find them all. If you are reading this and your not on the side please leave me your blog address so I can put it back on. Thanks.

The Exciting Ride Home

Well I made it back in one piece which I have to admit was looking a little shaky tonight. The weekend update and pics will have to wait till tomorrow and a few hours sleep. The normal 6-6 1/2 hour trip ended being 8 thanks to the Jersey Turnpike. It took me so long to get to Delaware that my ankle just ached from all the stop and go. Anyway once out of there I made good time until I was in Maryland. The sky kept lighting up every two seconds. I realized it was lightening. However it the sky just kept lighting up. It never stood dark. I was starting to get worried since it must be one hell of a storm, but then I realized I couldn't hear it so it must be far off. My true worry is going across the Chesapeake bridge which is 20 miles long across the water while in a storm. So I continue on my way and I go around a big curve and I notice their are two storms. One over the ocean already and one straight ahead. Now both are putting out a lot of lightening. However the one in front of me is discharging bolts. Like every few seconds. I swear I was waiting for some UFO from War of the Worlds to come out of it. It was that intense. Again I really couldn't hear it so I figured it would be out of my way by the time I get to it. I figured wrong. Boy did it rain. It would have been easier driving through a waterfalls. I couldn't see crap well maybe 10 feet in front of me and I used the lines to stay on the road. You have to remember I'm in the middle of East Butt Fuck and there is nothing around. What makes visibility worse is the lightening which keep illuminating everything and making me temporarily blind. It was almost like a horror movie. With each flash of light I was expecting so see some ax wielding maniac as I ran him over or worse yet a car sitting in the middle of the road. Anyway after about 20 minutes it let up and I was able to keep on my way. I was pretty happy that I had missed the storms as I was half way through Virginia when lo and behold storm number three discharging lightening like a mother. Jeez does someone not like me. Is my Ex or L playing with a voodoo doll? I was happy to report that the storm had passed by the time I made it to the bridge.

Now I was very happy to have made it all the way home safe and sound when I turned onto the street that would take me back into my neighborhood when all of a sudden I hear the wracked as something keeps striking my car. WTF! So I stop get out and I hear air leaking from my tire. The tire is still inflated so what the hell made the noise. I feel around the tire and I touch this long piece of rubber. Did the tire come apart? Pulling on it I see it is a bungee cord one of the really heavy duty ones and the metal is stuck in my tire. Fucking great! I tried just pulling the rubber off and leaving the metal so I could get home. That didn't work and I didn't want this thing flailing all over the place. So I yanked it. Out it popped and so did the air. So I hoped in the car and took off like a bat out of hell. I figured I could fix it in the driveway tomorrow morning when it was light out and hopefully not raining. The plan was working well to I got behind this car. Well it had four wheels, but a golf cart could total this thing. I mean it really needed a toy windup key on its back. Yes it was that small and moving really fucking slow. My air is leaking at an alarming rate, it's 1 am in the morning and I have been driving for 8 hours, and I'm behind a looney tunes car. I nearly fucking lost it and went ape shit on him, but I figured he would just stop his car thus blocking my way and I would really have to kill him. I didn't need to spend the night in jail on top of everything else. So I settled for cursing him out the entire time. Happily I made it into the driveway with air to spare.

Tonight's Hijinx

There was no major incidents tonight at work. Tips were awesome so that was a bonus. I did ask to see Breast Girl's breasts. Hey she's the one that said they looked disgusting with all the pizza powder doe on them. I wanted to giver a guy's opinion. She just gave me the "look" of I don't think so.

I think I'll give Chamber Girl a call next week and see if she would like to go out for drinks. I never know when I'm going to see her. So go for it while the iron's hot. Not that the iron's red hot, more lukewarm. However you got to go with what you got.

Very happy to get off work an hour early tonight. I can pack and get to bed early for my trip to NY tomorrow to see my son. It will be really great to see him even if it is just for the weekend. Also I believe my Ex's father is coming home. For some reason she has decided to quit her job and take care of him at home so he isn't in a nursing home. Oh how she hates to work. Little does she know this will be 10x as worse. Whatever not my problem. Well I'll have plenty of stories and pic come Monday.

Lunch Time Follies

* A Reader Reminder - I work 2 jobs, visit my dementia Mother, drink at Starbucks, attract every nutty women in 20 miles, plus a whole host of other things in my day. I usually post 3 times a day.

Anyway I went to my lunch networking event. It went well. I ran into HR Girl from the other day. It is so funny as soon as I come near her she crosses her arms. She wasn't even facing me today. I could have laughed. Anyway She walked by a few times to touch me on the back or make small talk. It's her event so she can do what she wants. However She did give me a glowing testimony for my work which really stirred up people to get my card. So I give her thumbs up for that.

I did run into Chamber Girl. I like her. She still gives me hugs even though I believe she caught me staring at her cleavage one day. She does wear these low cut dresses. I run into at these events and we get to talking and soon as it even feels comfortable we separated. Next time I need to ask her out. I'm always trying to feel her out if she is seeing someone, but I never have the time with her. I have her card and could always call, but I like asking out in person. Just like breaking up it has to be done face to face.

Oh well off to pizza and Breasts Girl.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Bizarre Stories from my Childhood

1) Rolling joints for my brother at age 2-3
2) Being woken up Christmas Eve to be shown the tree and presents before being sent right back to bed.
3) The Weekend vomiting sessions
4) Stuffed in the back storage space when driving in a corvette
5) Our landlord having a steady supply of young prostitutes visiting
6) 3 different schools all in different cities for 9th grade
7) Mom and her boyfriend having sex in the other bed in the room
8) My Dad’s drunken rages
9) Mom beating me in front of my friends
10) My Dad always showing me money that would be mine someday. Still waiting.
11) Falling asleep and waking up in different houses
12) Given a dog to raise from a puppy then when he was 1 year old have to give him away.
13) My brother wondering how I could kill his fish when I was 3 and tasked with taking care of them. (fish should know when to stop eating)

L & Me Part 2

I've gotten a few comments from my interaction with L yesterday. One was why wait till next week. Well L is low on my priority list and I have business and my Mom to attend to today. There is no way in hell that I'm moving her upwards on the list. The second was that L is just fucking with my head. Which is absolutely true from her return email. I gave her a choice of two days which she said are not good. Another time and that she was going to Dave Matthews that night. I like tea with my ice cream. I can see she just wants me to lust after her, but that is it. Adios chica!

L & Me

Well looky what I found in my email box, but a email from L. A few compliments on how I look. A question about Eric and an invitation to lunch with no strings. So the battle of the brain and penis begin. Actually the brain forfeited cause it couldn't come up with a reason. I know what she wants and it's the same thing I want. Sex. So I'm looking for the downside here and coming up with nada. I'm not looking for the committed relationship with her since I don't think she is capable. And then theirs the sex. Too bad it has to be next week.

The Return of L

Since I have a lot of new readers I'll give a synopsis of my relationship with L. The rest of you will have to wait. L was my first serious relationship after my separation and the first woman I was sexual with in 2 1/2 years. She was from Spain and the European difference was there. I liked the difference and learned a lot from her on being calm in a relationship. We communicated well and the sex was great. In our 3 months together I did fall in love with her. The down side was that even though L said she wanted a relationship she sectioned me off in her life. Looking back it was almost a NSA relationship. She was always a little weirded out if I gave her flowers or a small item I found in the thrift store I knew she would like. I was okay with it since I wasn't looking to get married, but enjoy the relationship. Anyway L ended it with a Dear Mike email. I knew it was coming, but I was surprised it was done in an email instead of face to face since we talked about everything. It left a sour taste in my mouth which made the break easier for me.

Anyway I'm at the gym today a little later than my usual. I'm resting between sets and who walks in the doorway but L. She's surprised to see me. I wave. I guess she realizes that she did the chicken shit thing and walks over to see how I'm doing. I'm expecting just a few words, maybe a handshake. I forgot L does the full body hug. I lean back against the door with my hands behind me. We talk about the summer. This is where it becomes a little fuzzy. I think she said she'll see me around. Then I get another full body hug. She is painted to my body. After a few seconds I respond with a tight hug back. She continues to press her body hard against mine. I think about saying I missed her, but that would be a lie. I do miss the sex though. So I give her a kiss on the neck and feel her smile. Since she is not moving I keep on going. I get about 4 kisses along her neck before she says she needs to go. She has shopping to do. Knowing L it was a big high to be lusted after.

The Rookie Move

As you know I've been working hard the last week and I'm tired. I had the opportunity to go to bed early last night, but I choose the Rookie move. Finally able to have some fun time to myself I sat around, watched Animal House, and chatted with people. Much to my dismay it was midnight when I decided to go to sleep. So I'm working on doing better tonight. I'm actually home very early tonight (for me) especially since I forgot my gym bag home and couldn't go to the gym.

I tell you it's weird being busy. I got use to all the down time to do stuff and now it's not there. Not complaining, just different. Hopefully this surge of new patients will continue since I only have them come in for what they need much to chagrin of many of the marketing consultants. Hopefully I won't get to many calls like today's:

Call: "What do you give away for free?"
Me: "Well I do consultations for free."
Call: "What's that?"
Me: "Well I'll tell you if I think I can help you."
Call: "No free x-rays, exam?"
Me: "No."
Call: "Oh."

The funny part is that with her insurance it is only $10 for her to come in per visit. However for some reason this was still too exorbitant. No loss.

Well I got the good news that I can stay at my friend's place on the beach when I go to see Eric this weekend.

TMI Tuesday

1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship. Emotionally or sexually involved with a person outside your committed relationship. Have you ever been guilty of infidelity? Yes and not proud of it. Have you ever been the victim of infidelity? No Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity? No

2. What is the last thing you stole? Jeez way too long ago as a child

3. Name one place in your country that you have never been but would like to visit and why. Washington state area. I've seen pictures and it looks so beautiful.

4. What movies can you watch over and over again? Forest Gump, Running Scared, Serenity

5. Who is the last person you saw naked? In real life I would say my last girlfriend L

Bonus (as in optional): In honor of the 237 reasons we have sex study. Tell us at least five but not more than ten reason you have had sex.
a. I was horny
b. It had been a long time
c. Wanted to make a baby
d. Wanted to connect with a woman
e. She was wearing a very sexy outfit


It was interesting when I read this week's issue of Match.com magazine. One of the stories was on Divorce. They talked about rituals to celebrate it. So that caught my attention. The first was about this Australian ritual that someone would do for you for $500. Hmmm if this involves a bunch of beautiful women and me getting laid maybe. Another one was about burning sage to cleanse the area of my ex. I haven't lived in our old apartment in about 3 years. So all I think it would do is set off the smoke alarm. I did like the idea of having a divorce shower to replenish everything you lost. However since I have a room full of the crap that I'm saving for when I move back into an apartment it's not really practical.

I guess for me the divorce stuff just doesn't apply. I spent the last 5 years of marriage trying to save it. I told my friends I wouldn't leave till I tried it all so I would have no regrets. I've never had a day of regret since 7/27/04. I just want it legal now. So that brings me back to some kind of ritual. I remember talking to my brother years ago about how boys have no ritual that moves them to manhood. Women have their period. Guys, I don't know, first wet dream? Hmm so I'm looking for any ideas. What do you people think?

Curse of the Alpha Male

Annie over at Smart Love blogged about this the other day. I made my comments and she even pointed out some of my alpha male traits. I didn't really think much about it afterwards till my lecture this morning. I was talking to HR Girl who I had met at a all women networking function last month. She had approached me to talk. Fast analysis: lively eyes, nice smile, damn ring. Anyway we talked and set up this lecture with the company she works for. So we had time to talk this morning before and after the lecture. She is still trying to place forty something employees for new jobs. So I offered any contacts I had. Then I noticed it. She playing with her necklace. The image of a devout Catholic holding off the nasty vampire came to mind. I remember a few old dates going this way. Now I wasn't trying to pick up HR Girl, but I know me. I will adjust my voice tone to match someone else, but I don't match my body language. I'm usually pretty open with it. Then I remembered I've been talking to many women over the last few days. Just kind of happened that way. Thinking about it when this happens I drop into a different mode. I use to say it was a "predator" mode. I notice more with what women are doing. I call it this because I see more passive women move away from me and more assertive women notice me more. I have to admit I like the "alpha male" term better. Nicer to think of the women not as "prey". I enjoy being this way since I feel more alive, but the last time I was like this I was a different person and I objectified women. So I'm careful this time as I awaken this part of me. I don't want to drop back to the way I was, but I do feel Iike I have found a lost part of me.

I'm A Dinosaur

As you may or may not know I work with a lot of younger people when I do pizza. While we do have a group of seniors who work also most are young. I seem to be right in the middle of the bell curve. Anyway we talking and I can't even remember how the flow is going. Anyway I say underwear and one guys stops and looks at me and says, "Underwear? My dad wears underwear and he's 56." Okay I didn't know underwear is now a foo pah. Now boxers seem to be the topic with a few jokes at me. So I make a joke about in my day I had to walk 20 miles uphill in the snow to buy a pair of moth eaten underwear and I loved it. They look at me and for some reason my comment starts a talk on how they got to school. Whether their parents drove, bus, etc. WTF! What are they teaching these kids of today. Standard jokes go right over their head. I would like to say it's the new math, but since it's old math now I don't know what to say.

Tired Thoughts

Boy am I tired today. I have to admit I am a hypersensitive person to sounds. My brain stores all the normal sounds around me and I never notice them unless there is a break in the sounds. My point here is this is one of the problems when I'm alone in the house. I know I'm alone in the house, but when I here a noise that could be coming from the house I am instantly awake. The last two nights have been hard with big fat rain drops and some critter on the roof last night. With working the extra hours and less sleep my ass is dragging.

I had two new patients in this morning. Nothing really to report on them, but as I looked at them I realized I was the same age when I was dating my ex wife before we got married. Jeez no wonder I say I didn't know my ass from my elbow. Was I ever that young? This probably comes up because I got my date. August 30th is my signing date in court to make my divorce final. I'll probably ask my Landlord to be my witness. My navy friends are too much in flux these days to schedule anything and H my other friend is way too unreliable even though he agreed. If it got pushed back because of him I would have to kill him.

Besides that Breast Girl and I flirted shamelessly last night. We were like two 10 year olds. Since I know this would be a fun thing the stress level is amazingly low.


I have no idea what was going on yesterday, but the blogger was soooo slow. It took me minutes to get into a blog. Everything else was good. I guess it was the heat. So it took me quite a while to read blogs today since I had two days of stuff.

Well the final ghost of smelly men just left. He wanted to wash my car. I think he should use some of the soap and water on himself. Besides that the phone is ringing, ringing, ringing. New patients just want to come in which is great. Especially since I'm not quite sure I can stay with my friend next week. I 'll need the extra money for a hotel.

Man I'm tired today. It never fully rained here last night. Just the occasional fat drop. I kept waking up thinking someone was in the house. I have to work till 2 am tonight and be back in the office by noon tomorrow for patients. Then do another 2 am'er tomorrow night. It's going to be a long weekend.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Pets I’ve Had

1. Queenie – pet rabbit I had when I was 4. Some teenagers shot her for fun.

2. Snails - they didn't have names, but they did escape and it took weeks to find them

3. Ivy – my only dog. I got her as a pup and had to get rid of her when we moved into an apartment

4. Tahsa - my next rabbit. They need to be indoors to be social creatures.

5. Pet Rock - yes I was part of the 70's craze
6. Sinbad – goldfish that lasted for a while
7. Freya – gerbil
8. Sif – gerbil
9. Yuri – ferret and she was the best pet I ever had
10. Kodai – ferret he hated my ex. I should have listened to him
11. Bunny - rabbit. She use to love Eric when he was a baby

12. Thing 1 - Siamese fighting fish (ah the cursed hexagonal fish tank)

13. Thing 2 - Siamese fighting fish (still cursed as it kills another for unknown reasons)

Did You Ever Pick Your Toes in Poughkepsie?

I'm driving back from a delivery tonight. I'm not Mario Andriette out there, but I've been known to flaunt the speed limit. Anyway I decide to take one road that I've never been on to go back. Up ahead this older guy is walking towards me. He notices that I'm speeding and starts yelling and waving his hands. I'm mildly amused, but I'm not slowing for this low grade moron. So what does he do? He jumps out in the middle of the street. I started to slow since I didn't want to dent my car or have to clean this guys guts out of the grill. Then I get a flash of this douche bag jumping on my car and I just sped up and swerved around him. He was swearing the whole time. Excessive heat and being old is a deadly combination.

Two people were referred to me today for treatment. I don't usually put a price tag on people, but it did cover everything I need to go see my son next weekend. Now I just hope they come in. Anyway I was very happy to tell Eric that I would see him next weekend. I can't wait.

Sexual Harrasment

I need to make a complaint at work. One day I have breasts being pushed into me and the next time I work nothing. WTF? If I'm going to be sexually harrassed lets get with the program and make it consistent here.

More Pool Party & Other Stuff

Hey if you hit the link on the pool party invite it opens up. Whoops. It seems She is going all out for the event. Theirs suppose to be a casino there for Poker and Blackjack, free ten minute massages from the massage school, and the Margarita man will be there. I guess She never does anything small. I may have to go.

Well my Landlord is off today for another 2 week vacation. Quite John and Port Girl are house sitting other people's places so I have the house to myself. Let the air guitaring and nakedness begin! My weekend just got shot. The pizza place asked if I could close Friday and Saturday. Ugh 2 in the morning. Not truly complaining I need the extra money to go see my son the following weekend.

Okay I don't think I ever talk about news stuff here, but I heard this on the radio this morning and I was completely shocked. As you may or may not know the summer Olympics will be in China next year. So their trying to clean up their act before then. Digging giant landfills to hide all the lead toys, sending all the posionuos food to India to kill the rats, but the big one is that they have outlawed having food vendors in the bathroom. For some reason in China it is a thriving business to be selling food in the bathroom. And they wonder why they have food problems. I can see it now you go into the bathroom and you ask for a #2 with fried rice. Go do you business and come back to a nice steaming load of food.

Pool Party?

One of my networking things that I go to occasionally is Speed Networking. It works like Speed dating. Two people, two minutes, hopefully you make a business connection. When I first went everyone kept talking about She. She was the one who had started it here in our area and She was suppose to be this whirling dynamo. When I first met her I didn't see what the big whoopla was about. She asked me for my card every time we ran into each other. The last time she went she hogged in on one of my two minutes. Well actually not mine, but the person across from me. During the next week she made an appointment to see me. With the problem being mid back which goes with the ached back that say, "hi do you like my breasts?" Now I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but when you lounge back casually on my table the jigs up. If you want to go out with me never become my patient. Also it helps to not be nuts, but hey that's my opinion.

Anyway to the point of this entry. I get the usual notices telling me when the next meeting is. Sometimes I go and sometimes I don't. Anyway I just got the invite for her house warming. It's the same business format email. Don't bring any presents just food or dessert and your bathing suit so you can go in the pool or hot tub. So how did we go from business people in a group that changes each week to hanging out in a hot tub? I feel like I just got invited to a swingers party. I like doing a lot for my business, but this might be too much.

Smelly Men & Guitars

One thing that I do hate about my office is that it is not directly on the main street. So I am always amazed when someone just walks in. Anyway it was the march of the smelly men today. The first guy was looking for the man hating naturopath that use to rent across the hall. I told him she moved back to NC. He was very interested in my peg games I have in the office. He wanted to buy them and I should have done so, but hey they were a gift. Anyway after gathering up a copy of EVERY single brochure I have, that magical number is 16 he left. I had to spray the place afterwards. I was coughing as the guy had smoked in the office. Where the hell was the cigarette? In his butt? The guy was here less than 2 minutes and the place smelled like a bar at 2 am.

30 minutes later smelly guy #2 comes in. Hey I'm pretty popular today. He wants to know if I need a cleaning service. Hmm it's 3 rooms, one which is filled with junk. I'm the only employee. I think I can handle it. So he leaves after grabbing a card. Again my place smells like a bar at 2 am. The stale smell of alcohol permeates the place and out comes the spray again. I think I need to add the to the no solicitors sign THAT no one reads is no smelly people.

When my brother Frank was younger he taught himself to play guitar. He was good and when I was really young I like to listen to him play. When I was young I tried to teach myself. Now it's surprising for me to say, but I have many gifts and talents. Music ain't one of them. I still would like to pick it back up again, but I know it's a loss cause. So I was surprised when I heard from my son Eric that he was taking guitar lessons at camp. He played a little for me over the phone and he was pretty good. He must get his musical abilities from his mom because he was rattling off how to tune it and beats. Things I could never grasp. Kinda like certain colors.

TMI Tuesday

1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used? You're a doctor right? Well I have this problem between my legs.

2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain. No

3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it? Friend John blew us off for a girl he had already dumped. They were having sex and we just continued to bang on the door for about 10 minutes yelling for him to come out and play. Ah college life.

4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why? Unfaithful. Diane Lane in the hall with her lover when she's trying to leave. Why? No clue it just does it for me.

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What would you change on your SO? I'm pretty happy with myself. If I had to choose I would remove the scar off my back from MOS surgery. Since I don't have a SO how about I change it to having one.

Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country? Mexico with my ex wife.

Masturbation: Pros & Cons

You decide.


I think I have hit the radar of the women I work with in the pizza place. There all twenty somethings and the questions have been sliding into the conversations about if I'm single or not. The one thing I an always surprised about is the use of young twenty somethings and their breasts. Your standing around and all of a sudden you have a pair of breasts pushed into you. Not that I'm complaining, but that's just me. I would never think of humping up on a women that I wasn't already going out with. The other night was the third time it has happened to me and it's in normal situations not like packed like sardines in a club or bar. Anyway I digress. What has stuck in my mind since then that's not pornographic is how I start to feel some angst (word of the day thanks to SWF42). I like when a woman finds me attractive, but I got a lot of attention this week and the angst was growing. So I was thinking about it as I tried to avoid traffic the other day. What it immediately reminded me was something my therapist said years ago. Different topic, but the same underlying problem. If I'm to believe what these women are thinking then I have to admit good things about myself. For some reason that always causes me angst. So I'm thinking good things about myself today in the hopes that it helps.

The Evaluation System

Delivering pizzas Friday night I found myself to be at a high level of pique. One of the biggest things I have learned over the years has been to stop and listen to myself when I'm in this state. Looking at myself I realized I had fallen back into my usual pessimistic view of myself. I was grading myself by what was in my wallet. I work hard to do the best at whatever I put my mind to. It's been a spiritual awakening to be grateful for what I am able to do, what I am achieving, and the happiness it brings me. However as soon as I focus on my funds or lack of them I really cut my legs out from under me in the happiness part. I still know it is a conditioning of mine to break myself down instead of naturally building myself up. With the realization I was able to stop the snowball from rolling and growing in the wrong direction. So the last two days I've been reaffirming myself on all the good stuff I do. Since this what I talk about and try to do.

Post Cook Out Stuff

German Girl emailed me thanking me for the invite. I was happy to hear that she enjoyed herself. I was surprised to have her say that she thought this girl Sarah really liked me. I didn't notice that although I have to admit I'm not always the sharpest knife in the draw when it comes to that. I had to admit she would have been probably second on my list from yesterday. Her age being the biggest problem. While I might find twenty something olds attractive I don't really find a connection beyond the physical. I've always needed something more. I remember this girl Dawn I went out with in college. She wanted to sleep with me bad. I still remember her face on our second date when I told her I just wasn't in to her. She looked at me like I had lobster claws coming out of my ears. I guess no guy had turned her down for sex before.

Anyway back to the cookout. I would say Kristen would be on the top of my list from yesterday. However she lives as far north as German Girl (45-60 min.) I probably could do the time here on the south side, but going through the tunnels is hell around here. Too many people are scarred of them and freak out every time they go through. They go 10 mph through the thing and traffic ensues. It doesn't take much. I did a long trip relationship once before and I swore I would never do one again. I knew there was one girl there that really liked me, but their was no spark on my end.

I'm still waiting to hear German Girl's take on the men.

Back to Back Cook Outs

I tell you being outside in the August sun for several hours two days in a row is brutal. I kind of feel like that earthworm that didn't make it back to the grass and becomes a piece of jerky on the sidewalk. Honestly I don't think I got really that much sun, but I am worn out.

Yesterday's office block party went well, although attendance is still down. However we got some people from the therapist office to come over. For me I was the short order cook for the event. I think I might of even got a mild first degree burn from all the heat. Towards the end someone else wanted to man the grill. Holy shit was he anal about it. Checking how long it took his hand to get warm to tell the temperature. Moving things just right. I felt like saying, "dude I just did this for 2 hours it's not that complicated."

I went over to my singles cook out today. I realized I haven't been up on the peninsula probably since I went out with German Girl a year ago. I forgot how much I hate the long trip. IT gets a lot longer trying to avoid all the traffic. Anyway just before I got there German Girl called and said she would be late. This kind of sucked since she was going to be 2 hours late and I was hoping for someone I knew there. Anyway I'm a survivor and continued on. I did know one guy there from a few events I went to last year. I have to admit it was a fun time. Hot as hell, but fun. Everyone was very nice and lived on the opposite side of the planet from me. One thing I did get reminded of is how incredibly attractive German Girl is. Also that we mix like a rock and water. We're good with the email communication a few time a week, but beyond that it's just not there.

On the home front Quiet Guy has finally moved in and Mini Me is visiting this weekend. We're having dinner together tonight so we'll see how that goes. Port Girl still has not moved back in and since her life is like a Lifetime movie who the hell knows what's going on.

Are You Trying to Seduce Me?

Well I've gotten a lot of email on doctors, patients, and relationships. I've repeated myself many times and I figured I might as well post it plus some of my more interesting moments.

Going out with your patients isn't illegal, just unethical. However it can lead to lawsuits if the relationship goes sour in a bad way. The problem relationship wise is the power dynamic. A doctor can tell you to take off your clothes and you'll do it. However the reverse isn't true. There was a write up on all this last year in a journal. If you want to date a patient you should stop seeing them and wait 5 years so that the power dynamic goes away. The second way is intense therapy for the patient and couples therapy for both of you for 6 months. In both instances I think it's easier to get a date someplace else. I don't know how other professions are, but I do know the chiropractic one is pretty much filled with doctors breaking this. Thumbs up for my profession. Dumb asses.

I have to admit thinking back over my career I've had a lot of women come onto me. Surprisingly a hell of lot more when I was married. Only two since then. I blogged about one and the other one was more of a feeling. The woman was attractive, but I tell you she laid on my table like a virgin on here wedding night. I remember looking at her and shaking my head. She only came to 2 appointments before disappearing.

One of the bigger pains is when women come in with short skirts that equal a belt around their ass and saying once their on the table. "Oh I forgot I was seeing you today." The response in my mind I think a lot of people have been seeing you today. I've only had one breast exposure when one woman's breast popped out of her loose shirt. Many women have told me they've been dreaming about me.

I would say the top two women patients have been the Moaner and MA. The moaner would moan so much during treatment I would swear she would need a cigarette after it was over. She was also very direct. She told me that was so great she wanted to take me home with her.

MA was my first patient to ever venture over the line. As my last name is Vanella I've had so many women tell me it's their favorite flavor that I don't even notice anymore. However MA took it one more step. "Vanella? Do you taste as good?"
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