Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

MATCH day 5

I ... can't ... do ... it. Old habits are kicking in. Since I have a date with the Teacher tomorrow I have no want to contact anyone else. My MO. The fear that runs through my mind is if it is good what would I do if the next person I pick is also good and I have two at a time. However I wonder if that's my rationalization for settling. I have someone to date. I'm good. Is there some middle ground in there? I don't know. My friends look at me cockeyed when I do this. It feels natural to me so I don't know.

The winks from blond Russian women continue. Oh and I found this cute profile:


Game Night

Well Game Night was a huge success. 12 people showed up when 13 had RSVP'd. I was expecting 6. Everyone was really nice. Being the first time we worked out a few bugs for next time. Tonight we ended up splitting into two groups. Next time if we have the same crowd I would go for 3 and every 30 switch so people can mingle more. I played Outburst most of the night. I took some ribbing for knowing more woman's undergarments than my female partner. I was happy that the Florist was flying on her own and I don't have to worry about her. So everyone is looking forward to next month already.

I have a date with the Teacher Friday morning at Starbucks. It will be interesting since she is and inch taller than I am. I remember a girl back at the radio station that was 6 foot and that was something to get use to. Anyway the Teacher likes purple lilacs and peach roses. I don't know if I'll be able to find one of those for then. We'll see.

Dating Prep

As I'm looking to be dating soon I've been doing some research to try and separate the crazies from the pack. In doing so I've found this very helpful article that I couldn't help but put here.

The theory of evolution alleges that humans evolved from monkeys. If we accept this “theory,” then we must also accept that over the course of millions of years, women have become more attractive, less hairy and infinitely crazier.The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life. Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale.

1. You’re walking down the street and see Matt Damon. You:
a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.

2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:
a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.

3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:
a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.

4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:
a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.

5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:
a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.

6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:
a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.

7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:
a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.

8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:
a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.

9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:
a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.

10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:
a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart… then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”

To find your “Crazy” rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. Take that total and divide by two. You now have your crazy number. Now, using your self-assigned hot number, find your position on the Stinson Hot/ Crazy scale. Remember, you want to find yourself located on the hot side, not the crazy side. If the results are not to your liking, please adjust your appearance or personality accordingly.

What a Weird Night

Like I was writing yesterday I'm trying to work on my feelings of less than when it comes to financial matters. So last night I had some intense dreams. No nightmares, but I awoke twice last night covered in sweat. I dealt with my Mom and her boyfriend and the issues had to deal with during my teenage years and the insane crap that went with it. I went from Heaven to Hell, killed some and saved others. It was pretty interesting, but strangely enough I do feel better today.

MATCH.com Day 4

Mike to base camp ... ((static)) Mike to base camp ...

Found two likely areas to ascend.

I'll call the first one the Teacher. 5 years older than me with a witty sense of humor that I like. My worry is that she is still separated. She says she's drama free, but we'll see. Still waiting for a confirmed time to meet for Starbucks.

The second one I'll call Vixen. 10 years younger than me and doesn't want kids which is something I avoid with women that age. A cheerful, high energy person. My spider sense tells me something else is there. Can't say if it is good or bad, just I know it will come apparent when we meet.

Seen one possibility. Woman said she didn't want kids, but 5 out of her 6 pictures she's holding a baby. I think she's knee deep in denial.

Mike to base camp ((static)) conditions look good to start going up.

MATCH.com Day 3

Taking a rest today. I finally had to turn my wink alerts off. It seems I'm a very desirable male everywhere else in the world except the US. I couldn't take having my box full of them.
I did ask 3 of my female friends to write testimonials for me since you can do it now. I figured what the hey. It was nice reading others to get a different perspective on the person.
In my travels I have found today's profile.
OK I WILL UPDATE THIS LATER...JUST BROWSING THROUGH RIGHT NOW CHECKING THIS SITE OUT...LOOKING FOR HONEST WONDERFUL COMPASSIONATE PATIENT MAN!ANY OUT THERE?MUST LOVE CHILDREN AND ANIMALS...YOU MUST BE A US CITIZEN, OWN A CAR, HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE, A PASSPORT WOULD BE A PLUS, HAVE CURRENT EMPLOYMENT, WELL YOU GET THE PICTURE...RIGHT? J/k 8/07 Just came back to this site after a year or so. Some of my friends have met alot of really nice people on here so I thought I would give it a try. So if you tried to contact me before, I wasn't here. I was trying to get my job, house, and other priorities straight! So now that that is taken care of I have extra time to have a life again...
She's on everyday so I'm not quite sure what she is looking for or what she's about.

The Code Had Been Broken

Mandy is ecstatic at Starbucks since she deciphered my code without being told. Everyone else asked and I said. It's not hard. I get a grande on the weekends to celebrate and talls during the week just cause. I've been going there so long these little things are big.

It was a little interesting last night talking to Eric. I was asking about school and then his weekend. He asked why. I was surprised, but I told him cause I want to know what is going on in his life. The only way I find out is when we talk. I know in a lot of ways I don't think about how I am missing a lot of his young life.

One of my hurdles I was working on yesterday was that of money. Even though I am not out of the woods with my finances they are so much better than they were. However the few years of struggles and poverty living have left their scar on my. It really gave me a less than feeling. That's not totally true. What I had just jumped onto this. People that have money I feel less than. I had my bubble deflate a little with this. I got back a bill I sent a patient. She's in charge of one of the networking functions I attend. I've been to her house warming party when she got a large new house last year. Well I got the letter back yesterday with her having moved. So I guess the new place didn't work out. It made me feel a little more a part of the human race.

Match.com Day 2

Mike to base camp ... Mike to base camp ((static))

Have not found a place yet to start my ascent. For some reason I'm big with women in other countries even though I'm only looking for someone in 25 miles.

I did find this sign on the trail and had to share:

I am everyday people and have been told I am one of a kind...I wake up with a song in my heart and pep in my step. And that's the truth... SO...back to what I want...I'm just going to list them in no particular order: Nice arms, chest and if you are hairy you must be trimmed with a #2 guard...including arms and chest - and your back must be waxed. (I don't mind helping as long as it's not a forest ;-). Feet...WOW...now this is important...pay attention...stop what you're doing and look at your feet right now...acceptable or not? Hands...nail biters need not apply. Cologne...must smell good all the time...don't be afraid to spritz heavily. Hair...neckline trimmed, no stragglers. ;-)

That was it. Nothing else to describe the writer. Oh well will keep looking.

Wait something is coming in. Hold on. Where the hell is Benin?

((static)) Over and out.

Match.com Day 1

Mike to base camp? Mike to base camp?

Day 1 finds me inundated with Russian women wanting to come to this country. For some reason they are all blond and extremely hot. Note to self. There must be no Russian men or they are all gay.

Side note to self. Saw one woman with skimpy top, enormous chest pushed into camera. She states her best feature is her butt. It seems she can't tell her ass from her breasts.

That ends report. Over and out.

Going Back Out

No not with the Florist. Please. However I did learn a lot from going out with her. It reinforced not settling in my mind. It's not a bigthing with me, but the waters can become muddy sometimes. Also holding to my beliefs made me feel real good today.

One thing it did remind me is how much I enjoy going out with someone. I've been tossing it around in my head for a few weeks now and today I decided to try Match again. I've always had good experiences with it, but I do enjoy just meeting someone and asking them out right there better. However those times are few and far between for me with someone in my age category.

Well at least I'll have some good storied for you all. Plus plenty of nicknames. I will have to keep to a few dates a week since it adds up fast. One thing I'm going to try is to break my serial monogamous dater habit. See if I can try a few women at a time instead of the straight line tactic that is so me.

That's Interesting

Something I found very interesting last night with the Florist was that when we were talking about ex's. I had a hard time remembering facts about my marriage. Like how long we were married that kind of stuff. Wow stuff that use to roll of my tongue I really had to think about last night.

I think she may be the type of person who swings from one relationship to another. I asked her last night if the guy who didn't marry her, but still wants to be with her asked her to marry him again. What would she say? She didn't know, but was leaning towards yes. He was still verbally abusing her so I was surprised to think she was in the dating arena.

The Question?

Are you really a nice guy? That was the Florist's question when I was driving her back to her car. I asked her what she meant and she asked did I have a temper and a few other things that I can't remember. I told her there was a picture of under nice guy in the dictionary. I'm always surprised when someone says this to me. Mostly because it comes up pretty fast and I don't ever remember doing anything to make it stand out.

Anyway it was a nice evening. The Florist was a novice sushi eater so I expanded her repertoire. The food was excellent, but the place was more packed than I have every seen it and they were hurrying us once we were finished. So dinner went a lot faster than I thought it would. The Florist asked what else was in the area and did I want to do something else. I said sure. The night was still very young and I wasn't crossing any lines here. So we drove past a few places, but nothing was happening. So she suggested a video.

Now it's been forever since I've taken a woman back to my place. I had to do a mental inventory to remember if it was clean which it was. We got 3:10 to Yuma. (okay film). We sat and laid on my bed since I don't any other furniture for two besides the floor and that wasn't happening. After a while she scooted over to me. Now I didn't want this relationship to go beyond friendship and I found I couldn't get over the fence with the Florist in my mind. However when she took my hand to hold and was laying against me I had to rethink it. Could I have sex with her and still be friends. I didn't find her super attractive and I didn't want to dig a hole I would have to climb out of. I enjoyed being next to her and I left it at that. If she had been aggressive I probably would have caved since I'm only human.

So after the movie I took her back to her car and we talked awhile on her situation and I told her some of my past. I gave her a hug and the night ended. I think at some point she wants to cook for me. If she thinks we are going places I'll have to have a talk with her.

I Thought I Was Out, But They Pulled Me Back In

Last year after much work I finally got my Mom set up with Medicaid to pay for her care in the nursing home. Today I get the forms to fill out again. It seems I have to fill out this fuck-shit every year. WTF! Oh yeah my Mom just got hired as the CEO of GE. Now I have to dig all this paperwork out to attach. I'm hoping I have some of this stuff since I didn't think I would be filling it out again.

PS It's nice to know that "fuck" and "shit" are okay with the spell check.

Fridays Come

I still haven't fully integrated my life with my new shoes yet. Case in point I walk into the gym this morning and I realized I don't have sneakers on, but my shoes. I'm considering it still when I realize I don't even have any white socks. I'm not working out in black socks. Way to high on the geek-o-meter and I have flashbacks to childhood and gym class. So I had to reschedule till tomorrow.

I do have to thank Annie for helping me get back on the positive side with the Florist. I soak up negativity like a sponge I've been told and I had dropped back into that feeling yesterday. She helped me remember all the positive points.

I tell you Spa girl and I are like gasoline and a match. One call and I'm trying to reign my mind in. I've forced myself to keep to the one return phone call back. She's very unreliable and I don't want my role as the moth and her the flame in this picture.

On my way over to salsa last night I drove by the BOA building and it was nice not to be working valet there anymore even thought that was a year ago. Also it's been about a month since I quit pizza and it's nice to have a life without a second job. No bags of money yet, but enough to squeak by on.

Kelly Clarkson Sucks

I have nothing against her personally it's just she and Reba were in Norfolk for a concert tonight at the Scope. See one might think that having two concert places next to each other in the downtown district of a city may be great. It starts to get sticky when neither place has parking. It gets worse when downtown is pretty tight for parking already. Now through me in trying to find parking to go to salsa. Yeah you get the picture. If I knew before I left I would have passed. Oye was it a pain in the ass.

Starbucks turned out great. I don't like to be on the cellphone when I place orders so I grabbed a seat while I finished my conversation. During this time they deliver me my drink on the house. It was great. I was even more happier that I already set my friend up to come in and give the girls roses on Valentines day.

Salsa went really well. Since we were ending early tonight everyone hit the dance floor when class ended. One woman who I haven't seen since I first started was like, "you've been taking lessons. I can tell." That was nice to hear. I don't know a ton of moves, but what I know I know how to do well. The worse thing was the temperature really dropped here and I walked out dripping wet with sweat from all the dancing. Oh boy did my head hurt.

When it's Raining

I have to admit I'm not looking too forward to my sushi and drinks with the Florist tomorrow night. Lot of money and energy for just a friend. I know she wants more and I don't feel like putting my hand in a bee hive just to see if I'm going to get stung. She's a nice person and I'm happy to have a friend. So we'll see how it goes. I know she's passive with thing so I know I can steer it.

So the magnet is still in overdrive at attracting crazy shit. I got a call from Spa girl today. I couldn't talk because 2 new patients walked in the door. I told her I would call her back. I did and left a message. We'll see what happens.

Besides that it was busy as hell in the office. 3 new patients called or just showed up. With my normally scheduled patients it was a record day. So that was great, but I'm needing some slow time. I think I'll hit Starbucks before salsa tonight just to quiet my mind.

The only other thing is that my landlord decided to wait until he gets back from his trip to lease one of the rooms in the house. So I get the place all to myself for 2 weeks.

Hey Rocky Watch Me Pull a Rabbit Out of My Hat

Talked to the Florist tonight about getting together Friday for sushi. It was a fun talk. We talked about being creative, dancing, and vacationing. Hey doesn't everyone on their first phone call. She was fun and easy to talk to. Anyhoo I ask if she wants me to pick her up or meet me at the restaurant. (tune the Dragnet theme) You see the Florist is living with someone. Yeah my head was spinning on my shoulders too. So I kinda waited for her to continue. It seems she was dating this guy for 4 years. They were suppose to get married back in August and 3 days before the wedding called it off. She is no longer the woman for him. So they're still living together because with her daughter she can't afford a place on her own yet. You know I must have a magnet stuck up my ass to attract this kind of stuff. You know I can't even make this shit up, but I still find it. Anyway we'll see how drinks are Friday.

Volunteer Reader

As always it's fun to go to the elementary schools and read to the kids and tell them about the animals. To see there eyes full of excitement at what I bring with me. This year I had Honey Bunny, a full sized rabbit. She was very well socialized and wasn't nervous or anything while I held her or the kids came up to pet her. While at the shelter waiting for what critter I would get I got to pet a few dogs and I forget how much I miss having an animal at home.

So with this in the middle of the day I decided to take the day off. If someone called and wanted to come in I would have, but since no one did. I figured what the hey. So I hit Starbucks twice today to celebrate. After the gym I had time before the dance studio opened to get my shoes back so I felt like it was worth it.

The Florist left me a message on my phone thanking me for inviting her last night to dancing. So that's a plus in her corner. I'll give her a call later tonight to schedule drinks. I think she wanted me to kiss her last night, but if I don't know how I feel about you. That's not going to happen. I hate having mixed signals giving to me so I'm definitely not going to do it on my end.

Salsa Singles

I got home tonight and I can't believe I left my shoes at class. It's all Jennifer's fault. She stole my pen and wouldn't give it back. She's a pen stealer and I'm neurotic about losing my pen. Not a good match. Anyway I was pretty good and let her have it after I stole her sneakers, but hey she had like 5 pairs of shoes with her it didn't matter. So I need to traipse down there tomorrow sometime to get them.

My day is different tomorrow. It's my annual Animal Readers day. I volunteer to take an animal from the shelter to an elementary school and read to the kids and let them pet the animal. This is my 3rd year and it's a lot of fun. Not quite sure what critter I'll be getting tomorrow. The first year was a rabbit and last year was a guinea pig.

I only had 3 people show up for the singles salsa event. As usual many signed up and didn't show. However they were all women which is always beautiful since it evens out all the guys. The Florist (the blond) was able to make it from telling her about it Friday at the skating rink. I can tell she likes me, but I'm on the fence with her. I still couldn't decide by the end of the night so I asked her out for drinks hoping that one to one time will help me decide.

A few of you asked about K. I left a message, but got no response. So I move on. No biggie.

Tuesday Afternoon

I have to thank my friend Dawn. She owns a online toy store that sells toys to kids to help them think. I was wondering what to get Eric for his birthday next month when I met her. After looking at all her stuff I found the Techno Gear Marble Mania. Oh Eric is going to love it. Hey I love it. It's going to be really fun to give it to him.

When I was separated I never met another separated women. Most divorced women don't want to touch you with a 10 foot pole if your separated even for years. Now that I am divorced all I seem to meet are separated women. What's up with that? After dealing with Spa girl I don't want to touch them either. So where did all the divorced women go?

Well I've made tonight's salsa dancing into my next singles event. So far 5 people are coming. If none show up I still have my normal group, but if they show it will be great. Since I do this every week anyway I'll make it a weekly event.

TMI Tuesday

1. What was your favorite book as a kid? I would say the Five Chinese Brothers. Bizarre child book with different ways to execute a person, but I really like it. I even bought it for my son. Second up would be Are You My Mother?

2. If you were stranded on that proverbial desert island (again!), what book or books (up to 5) would you want to have with you? Eisenhorn by Abnett, Trilogy of the Red Death by Weisberg, Not quite sure what the 5th one would be.

3. What was the first "naughty" book you read and in what way was it naughty? I have no clue what it was called. It was something like a bunch of Penthouse letters together. Still remember most of the stories. I think I was 7-8.

4. If you were to publish your autobiography today, what would be the title? "Going Sane in a Crazy World." LOL that was easy.

5. Would you rather look at nude pictures/pornography or read erotic fiction and why? I would say the fiction since pictures just don't do it for me anymore by themselves.

Bonus (as in optional):Do you know the whereabouts today of the first person with whom you had sex? It was my ex and I know where she is.

I'm Mr. Freeze Meister

Oye we're in the deep freeze here for another day. When I awoke yesterday Ito a beautiful sunny day I saw that we had a splotchy frozen dusting of snow. It was weird to have to dig out my ice scraper from the trunk.

Since the treadmill doesn't work well with my flat feet I decided on the bike this week to do cardio. It was a good work out all except the bike seat that was killing my ass. I have to admit it was a good seat, but jeez will they ever make a seat that doesn't hurt.

The Godfather Part 2 was dirt cheap yesterday so I picked it up. I was really surprised to see something that I only thought happened on VHS. "Please insert disc 2." Who knew? Besides that it was a nice relaxing weekend. I got a lot of writing done so I was happy with that. It's nice when things come together and you can see your accomplishments.

I asked out 2 women over the weekend. Shot down by one and the other we'll talk some more to see if Starbucks is in our future. It's funny. The people in my business group wonder how I get some many referrals for people. There all married and I don't think they remember. When your single you end up talking to a lot of people. Many people will think I'm a very social person, but I'm not. It's all work and I'm very happy being by myself. I had a friend in college named John. Now John was a great salesman and dated a lot of women. We talked about this a lot. John could talk to anyone and it did just come down to odds. You talk to enough people and somethings going to happen. Anyway if K and I decide to meet up for drinks I'll give her a nickname.

Oh No the Sky is Falling

The city is a buzz with the possibility of 3-4 inches of snow. I think I have a better chance winning the lottery. The surrounding areas might get that amount, but with the bay and ocean to moderate us. I quite doubt it. However everywhere I went that was the $25,000 question. For people of the South, snow is the coming of the Apocalypse. They have no clue how people live in cities with snow. How they can go out once snow is on the ground. In reality there isn't a plow or sander in miles so it is a strange concept for them.

On other fronts I'm updating my fashion sense. Before you go "ooo" and "aaa" remember I'm a guy and that pretty much comes down to a pair of casual shoes. Not counting my dance shoes that's 3 different types. When I grew up we were poor so hand me downs and bizarre acquisitions were the norm. Wearing argyle socks (my 14 year older brother's) in gym class when I was young scarred me for a long time. You couldn't get me out of white socks to save my life. When I had to when I started working as a doctor it was a rough transition. Over the past few months I've gotten rid of most of my t-shirts that would classify as college style. Again not wearing the kind of stuff in high school I've wanted to keep it for as long as I could. So now I've moved on into trying to wear something else besides sneakers all the time. I've worn dress shoes for work for years, but to wear something that is not a sneaker in normal settings is a new concept. Today is day 1 of the experiment. Also I would like to thank Robin for helping me mix colors with some new pants. Being partially color blind makes breaking out into new colors a real challenge.

My First Event

Okay so I get to the roller skating ring early. There's a line around the building. WTF? It's all teenagers. WTF? Family night was last night. Anyway I figured let me get on line and try to organize this. Bob one of the people who said they were coming showed up. So we stand in line that is not moving. It took a while to get inside. MT said she was coming and going to bring her neighbor. However they go their late and by that time all the skates were rented out. I brought my inline skates to finally really try them out. I have to admit I didn't like them. Bob was trying not to break his ass and the girls were just standing around. So MT came up with the idea of Mexican and margaritas so that's what we did. It turned out to be a fun evening. I don't remember the neighbors name since the noise drowned it out. She looks very different with and without glasses.

The Whole Pie

Well after having talked about and wrote about my dreams they left. It was proud of myself since I usually make a conscious choice not to date when I'm processing deep stuff since I know I will use dating to distract me. So this time to do it by reflex was a good thing. So I awoke today feeling more whole and happy. That's a good thing. So good I flirted with a little with a woman in Starbucks this morning. I had just sat down when I felt eyes on me. So I looked up and gave her a smile. She quickly got embarrassed and disappeared out of my sight. It was funny and it was nice to have to old me back.

Well it's a potential record day here in the office again with 3 new patients so it's going to be hopping. So that was my choice of doing Starbucks this morning to relax before all the work came.

Well I have 4 people for my skating event tomorrow night and hopefully more of the maybes will transfer to yes. Salsa seems solid and small. Game night I know will be a returning event since it's 2 weeks away and heavily RSVPed. If Meetup is small in your area Meetin.com might be a better bet. I do both.

Whimpers From Jello

I was at a loss for a title today so I grabbed a song title off an old Fugs album. Anyway it's been multiple nights now of weird dreams since my friend's dad died. I guess my subconscious is processing how it will be when my Mom dies. Physically it will be a little weird since she wants to be cremated so nothing will happen for 7 days until I get her ashes back. Since I'm the only one down here and everyone is back in NY I'll travel back up there to spread her ashes on the beach which was her wishes. I don't know if I would put a time limit on how long I would do that. The dreams I guess are a reflection of my childhood in a bizarre way. Boundary issues, abuse, and just plain fucked up shit. It's not the nice graceful slide through my usual dreams, but kind of a mucky molasses. It's a slow move through it and it seems to still cling to me once I've awoken.

While I was sitting in my shrink's office this morning I heard a voice I knew, but I couldn't place. It turned out to be a guy I know and have known most of the time since I've lived in VA. Beach. It was nice to know I have changed in good ways from his view. Something I knew, but it's nice to hear. The reason it was good to see him was because here is a person who doesn't take care of himself in any aspect. You could see it in his eyes. I've been there so I know the look and I happy to have a little reminder of it with out having to relive it myself.

Dating seems to be on hiatus for the moment. After writing this entry I realize it is because I am processing things and I normally shy away from it during that time. I was wondering what was going on since I asked someone out Friday or Saturday. Since then I've been interested, but haven't done anything with anyone I've met. Also I was planning on heading over to an old salsa place that I use to go to possible meet someone. However I haven't had the umph to do it all week. Now I know why. Not saying that won't change in the next 24 hours.

TMI Tuesday

1. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? Well on the coolness scale I would say the Thunderbirds house from when I was a kid. Secret chute behind a picture down into your vehicle. Can't beat that. A more grown up answer would be the house on Two and a Half Men. Nice place right on the beach.

2. If you had a clone, what would you make it do so you could have free time? Uh work and household chores, duh.

3. Who was your best friend when you were 8? No clue. When you were 13? Gary

4. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be & why? Japan. I've been such a big Japanese animation fan for 25 years that I would like to see the place it all comes from.

5. Would you hate loosing your sight or hearing most? Sight definitely. I'm a very visually oriented person and don't think I could cope with its loss.

Dancing Shoes

Marquita my salsa instructor told me that if I wanted to continue with the higher levels of salsa I would need a good pair of dancing shoes. Since I have flat feet I know I can't get away with the slipper types, but for the amount I dance a good pair of shoes would be nice. So I stopped by the dance supply place and told them I needed shoes for myself for salsa. Then the lady asks do I want high heels or not. WTF? Is some kind of code for finding out if I want Paul's or RuPaul's shoes? WTF would I want 3 inch dance shoes?

I did see CPA girl today. She didn't notice me, but she lives right around the corner from my frequented Starbucks. So I knew it would happen sooner or later. Nothing else to report on that.

We'll the interviewing for the empty rooms in the house continue. Many pregnant teenagers have applied, one mom looking to pimp her 15 year old daughter for rent, and others most have been under the weird radar since my landlord hasn't said anything. I did have lunch with one of the applicants. She's a year older than me and seems stable enough which would be good. Since she would be taking the room next to mine and we would be sharing a bathroom together. I have to have a nut job or a guy since he would probably be a slob.

A Dead Sunday & a Bummed Monday

Talking to Eric yesterday I found out it would have been my ex-MIL's b-day if she was still alive. He was a little sad, but I got from him it was worse for everyone in the house. I have to admit I'm a little surprised about that since everyone wished she would drop dead. Who knew?

I was sad to hear that my friend Paul's dad had passed away. Although I have to admit the man really outlived the time the doctor's said he had to live.

I was bummed last night that Comedy Improv was cancelled. I was even more bummed that I found out by reading the sign on the theater's door. Hopefully next month's will be there, but I'll check before I go.

I was also saddened to read that Bottle Blonde will be closing down her blog. It was a really funny read that I greatly enjoyed when she updated it. I'm always amazed at how sad I get when a blog I love goes away.

On the good side this week. My schedule started out good and near what I like it to be. So time to up the goals for the week so I can have the office keep growing. I know at some point I'll have to make a decision if I want to hire staff and continue to grow or just keep it a comfortable size and do it myself.

The Best of CL

Surfing the web tonight and I figured I would find something funny on Craig's List. Holy shit I found gold. The Best of Craig's List. How could I have ever missed it before. Anyway enjoy it. To wet your appetite here is a very confused young man.

To the girl who stole my girlfriend - m4w
I know it's strange, but I can't get you out of my mind. I don't even know your name -- to me you are just the woman my Justine first referred to as "my new project partner at work." Little did I know that your forbidden love would blossom, and that I would be left empty-handed. The thing is, secret lesbian girlfriend-stealer, it's you I miss, and not Justine. Though I've never seen your face, Justine's description the night we broke up has lingered in my mind. "She snuggles close to me, her long black hair spilling over my skin. She is so tender with her kisses. She knows nipple play." Those fateful words have haunted me ever since. Why can't I have a woman whose long hair -- black or perhaps auburn or even blond -- spills across my needful skin? Why can't I have my nipples tenderly kissed? And when I think these things, gentle mysterious lesbian lover, I think of you. By now you've probably realized that Justine is a needy, critical bitch who only goes down on you for the first few weeks. You're probably on the prowl again, you hungry little temptress. I can only hope that you'll read CL, and see past my penis, to the fact that, digging women, I am in effect a lesbian myself. I hope we can connect. My nipples and I await your email.


Wow! No more treadmill for me. I wanted to do some cardio since I really haven't done a lot since I stopped doing valet almost a year ago. I was happy that my endurance was good, but oh did my right shin hurt. Next time its the bike.

Moving a lot as a child and having many of my possessions tossed has made me either hoard stuff of just be blase and toss its ass to the road. In an attempt to break this habit I started getting rid of books today. I like keeping what I read, but in the last 6 months I've increased my library usage to save money and space. Now there are many books I want to keep, but there are some I know I will never read again. So hopefully someone else will enjoy them.

My singles events are filling up slowly. Roller skating is the funniest. No one has said yes. Most everyone is saying maybe with the same comment. Sounds like a lot of fun. If the turn out is good I'll come. Well duh, if no one says yes I guess no one is coming. Salsa is doing nicely and game night is all women which is no problem to me. Now I need to start thinking about what to do next month.

Well I think I scared Spa girl off for good. I haven't heard from her in over a week. I don't think I mention it here that we did a bunch of kissing about 2 weeks ago. I wasn't planning or expecting it. However I knew she was in the mood and what the hey. It was good for me and I think too good for her since it really showed her she wasn't ready for a person like me. If she wasn't working right across the way from me I don't think I would think about her, but she does so it is a reminder. Plus to me she reminds me of Nicole Kidman with her eyes and smirky smile and with all everyone putting her picture up since she is pregnant it's another reminder. Mostly it's just an issue without a close and I hate that.


Well the mix up was finally fixed and I'm and assistant organizer for singles at Meetup. So I'm trying to get one thing going a week in an attempt to see what people like. I've got roller/inline skating, one of my salsa classes, and a game night. We'll see how it goes. Once I know what people like I'll better be able to plan.

Generating money with the office now I just need to collect it. At the moment I have several people that have been severely hurt, but not the full money to pay for treatment. Since I trust them all I've told them they can pay me off over time so that they can get better. I'm happy to help, but when I have a bunch at one time it hurts a little. Over time it will work out, but in the here and now it's a little light money wise.

Who Knew?

I always hear of the strange way people get to people's blogs. It's always funny. Now the point I'm making here is that I track my business's website and where people come from. Now I was completely floored when I found out that many of my viewers are coming from .... Free Live Porn. Now WTF? I can't even imagine how that is connected. I checked there site for purely technical reasons and I didn't see my listing so I don't know how that's working.

The next thing is that I was voted Best Chiropractor in the city for 2006. I must have missed the awards ceremony, but there's a page out there with my name on it. Who knew?

Sounds of Salsa

Boy it's been 3 weeks since I've been out dancing. I kept saying I was going to practice and boy that never materialized. It came back to me, but I could have been sharper. On the way to class I was like I can take or leave this. It's kind of dried up for me. LOL. Couple of hours later I'm so back into it. Class was good, but the club was better. Mostly because we had more women then men tonight. Yes all the planets have aligned. For most of them it was their first night which wasn't great, but it was a lot of new faces which was fun. Since it was only me and one other guy we were on the dance floor constantly. I have to admit it is interesting how dancing brings people together. I might have to go back to the old Tropicana one Thursday to dance and meet someone. That atmosphere is more for that and the places I frequent it's more about dancing.

Quiet guy has given notice and he will move out of the house at the end of the month. I know my landlord is interviewing now for both rooms. I was happy when he wanted my to stay were I was. I like my room and didn't want to change. However I got so use to never having Port girl around it was like living by myself on my side. Since I work banker hours I'm hoping I don't get an early riser on my side.

Getting a little bummed since Spa girl has not returned my phone call on getting a haircut. I have to admit I got really spoiled with her. She does a great haircut and all the cleanup were awesome. If I don't hear from her by Thursday I'll go back to my old barber.

TMI Tuesday

1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they? Nope

2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be?- your spouse/significant other- an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on- an old/past love- your best friend - I guess I'll shoot for the best friend. If I was married I'd probably shoot for that. A SO and a unrequited love might not work out after a while. Past love didn't work out and I wouldn't want to be stranded with them.

3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido. Rain, snow, and sleet don't do anything for me. Scorching heat or sweltering humidity? I don't feel like doing anything in that type of weather.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?) I don't drink and none of these are the reason.

5) Who turns you on the most & why: the activist, the author, the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)the comedian, the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.) the model, the musician,the politician,the scientist - What a person does for a living does nothing for my libido. They could be a basket weaver for all I care if theirs chemistry

The Daily Grumble

Personal life is going well and I have no complaints. Just trying to enjoy these times since I know they are not permanent.

Work still gives me anxiety. I wish the schedule was just full and a others just call to come in. However it seems at not at the point yet. The schedule starts out light and then slowly fills up day by day. Maybe I'll make it to weekly goals, maybe not. These workouts of faith are not my favorites, but I know their necessary for my growth.

Slight snag on my organizing singles events. It's times like these that having the first name Mike is problematic. They put the wrong Mike on the board so I still can't schedule the events. I thought their was only 3 of us, but their were only 3 Mikes. I didn't know their was another 3 Michaels.

I Do

Well I agreed to organize all the singles events for the City of Virginia Beach. One of the groups of I belong to is Meetup. The singles group is good and fun, but all their activities are on the Peninsula which really doesn't help me since I don't feel like driving 45 minutes. So they were looking for someone to help build it up down here since we have the members for it. Hey if you build it they will come.


Sitting around in Starbucks yesterday. I know me in Starbucks, incredible isn't it? Anyway I was hit by the want to squeeze more pleasure out of life. After spending most of my life numbing up to it, to fully experience it is still new. Maybe it's because I've been trying to write again this week. With writing you really need to describe life around you and its hard for me to push past the surface which I found weird since I'm pretty aware and intuitive. However reading one of my daily readers this morning it talked about having your perceptions and feelings abused by those around you. Jeez theirs my life story. Why should I enjoy the world around me when I've had it pounded into me that my perceptions and feelings were a lie. What I felt was not what I really felt. The world I perceived around me was not what I thought it was. Like a monkey that is zapped for touching the red button it is no longer a natural thing for me as most things are. It's all work. Not saying that it's unpleasurable, but it doesn't come naturally.

Dear Universe

I realized I never asked so I wish for someone to love and cherish.

Post Pizza Stories & Other Stuff

I tell you it was nice to stop and get gas last night. Hated shovelling out the money, but one fill up a week is great. I got so use to doing so 3 times a week when I did pizza. Also not having to drive around looking for addresses in the dark is a nice blessing. I don't miss it, but I'm still getting use to having my nights free.

3 of my good standing patients are finishing up active care this week. I hate it when that happens, however I know everyone is suppose to do their share. No more, no less. It's just hard having the faith that I'll be covered, but the week is filling up nicely. So it will be one week at a time. I have learned (hopefully to be follow through) not to try and pay stuff off yet. I need a cushion of savings which I don't have. Without it as soon as a bump comes along I'm freaking out and I don't need that. Once I have a comfortable cushion then I can pay stuff off.

I had a weird incident in Starbucks this morning. I had a mild anxiety attack. Boy was my heart pounding and yes that was before I had my drink. It did confirm something I had suspected. I do use food to calm me. I use to do it as a child even though I was starving myself on the other hand. However I always thought the food was just calming my starving body. I started to realized this when I was dealing with all my Mom's stuff. The anxiety would come and I would reach for something to eat, but then realize I had just eaten and shouldn't be that hungry. Since then I've kept a watch on it. So this morning I just sat to relax and work it through, but the want to eat something was strong I was surprised. Something else to work on since I don't want to switch seats on the Titanic.

TMI Tuesday

1. Last week was "The Most Wonderful time of the Year", but what are your favorite 2007 memories? Teaching Eric how to ride a bike, enjoying sex again, meeting a lot of great people
2. What is the best thing you learned in 2007? Wow I hate these questions. I would go with the realization like me my business needs certain things done to it everyday to stay healthy.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2007? I would say an 8. It was very good year overall.
4. What is your wish for 2008? The usual. To continue to grow emotionally, physically, and spiritually. What is your wish for someone else for 2008? To grow in whatever areas they need to become a better person.
5. If you knew that you were going to die in 2008 what one thing would you do? There's no one thing I want to do before I die. As I go along I do the things I want to do ie. fencing, salsa, etc. Besides seeing my son more that's about it.
Bonus (as in optional):Do you make New Year's resolutions? What is/are yours for 2008? I covered this in my last entry. No I don't.
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