Dating & Other Stuff

I think Senorita may be right. While I enjoy my time with Tech girl I still don't feel any deep connection to her. I enjoy seeing her, but if we didn't see each other anymore I would be okay with it. So I'm in a quandary with her. I'm finding there has to be some kind of spark there for me. Whether that's healthy or not I don't know, but I need something more. It's like CPA girl again. We had values and beliefs in common, but it's not enough to build on. So with Tech girl I'll give it another date or two to be certain, but I'm not hopeful. I know myself when that corner turns it's a done thing. In the few weeks that we've been dating I've met or seen women that sparks have been there. The big thing is that this would be the first woman I've broken up with since I split from my ex. Since then I've always been the dumpee.

I finished my first insurance interview today. It's where they go over your profile for the year. They gather all the information of you from how you bill and compare it to everyone else. As it stands now I have a lot of good stuff, but they didn't like how I did exams or physical therapy. Bottom line. You're billing too much for these and if you continue you'll be flagged as a problem.

No More Lonely Nights

Thanksgiving day was nice and I was enjoying myself to about 4 o'clock. As it started to get dark the realization of being alone really sunk in for some reason. It really pulled me down to a point even I was surprised.

The funny thing that pulled me back up was the realization I could have asked 3 different women out yesterday. With my head on straight I was able to think of away to solve my dilemma. I knew that Saturn girl was free today since she had Thanksgiving last weekend when relatives visited. So I emailed her to see if she was around and if she wanted to get together to play some boardgames which I knew she enjoyed. I got a response after a while saying she was up for it, but she just needed to drop some soup off at her daughter's house who was sick. So I grabbed some games and headed on over.

She lives in the same complex as CPA girl. It was almost deja-vu walking in the place since it's the same set up. It was a fun evening talking and playing games. I found out we have a lot in common like both our favorite shows is Two and Half Men. There were other things that I was surprised.

She did ask if I knew how the Photographer was doing. I told her I hadn't talked to her in a week and that she had been dating Gameboy for awhile. Since we had gone to the Halloween party together she probably thought we were still together.

I never got any vibe from her that she was feeling any chemistry for me. So the Laws of Attraction still puzzle me. While it was a really fun night, lots in common, the chemistry was very low. Hey this is just like CPA girl, maybe it's the complex. On the other side of the fence I had the Destroyer yesterday that I had to bite my tongue not to ask her out. There doesn't seem like anyway to tip the odds in my favor.

Boxes

God I hate moving. So what did I find myself doing today? Moving boxes. Boxes that I have moved so many freaking times since I separated from my ex. So today was the day I upgraded my storage unit to a bigger one so that I can start to use the extra room in my office. The owner of the facility was very surprised how much stuff I had in the smaller unit. Hey I get my money's worth out of it. This new one is like a mansion compared to the smaller one. So over the weekend I'll move what I need to out of the office to finish it up. I would like to start advertising for a massage therapist Monday.

On other news I asked out another CPA. What I'll call her if things work out is beyond me. I already have CPA girl from last summer so maybe Tax girl. Hopefully she has some glaring characteristic that I can use.

It's always interesting to hear what women think of Match. Law girl didn't say much other than it had been slow. A women I know from the singles group was telling me that most of the men on their want needy women. I really had no idea what the women on the site want. It seems if you don't meet someone pretty quickly you become pretty jaded fast. I could be wrong, but it's what comes across.

Another Chapter Ends

Well I got the Dear John email from Law girl this morning. Well at least I know my senses are correct when I feel this stuff. With L and CPA girl I knew it was coming. I knew something was missing her and it was her not having such string feelings for me. It was one of the nicest emails I've gotten. She said I did everything right she's just not feeling the chemistry. I can live with that. May not be happy about it, but not being left in the dark is a good thing.

On a side note I did run into L at the gym this morning and I handled it no problem.

Post Date Report #8

Well I met Law girl's daughter tonight. She's a nice kid.

I was in the mood for sushi and Law girl loves it so it was a plan. Boy was it a fast dinner. The had it served to us really fast and we were both hungry and inhaled it. The food was awesome as was the presentation as always. Since it was early and the sun was still out I suggested a walk on the beach. I knew where to park from when I was going out with CPA girl.

The weather was great as was the sunset. We had a nice walk and I got to poke fun at Law girl. For a native who grew up here, she's just never been to so much that is here. She'd never been to Chix's beach waterfront. It was like when we went to the oceanfront last week and all the stuff she never saw before.

We decided on TV instead of a DVD. It was nice to cuddle on the couch and relax. Quick kisses were back which I was surprised. Sometimes I feel like I'm dating a virgin. However it was a very enjoyable evening. We're very comfortable together which we both like. It is funny to watch Law girl register how much I like her.

Dancing Shoes

Marquita my salsa instructor told me that if I wanted to continue with the higher levels of salsa I would need a good pair of dancing shoes. Since I have flat feet I know I can't get away with the slipper types, but for the amount I dance a good pair of shoes would be nice. So I stopped by the dance supply place and told them I needed shoes for myself for salsa. Then the lady asks do I want high heels or not. WTF? Is some kind of code for finding out if I want Paul's or RuPaul's shoes? WTF would I want 3 inch dance shoes?

I did see CPA girl today. She didn't notice me, but she lives right around the corner from my frequented Starbucks. So I knew it would happen sooner or later. Nothing else to report on that.

We'll the interviewing for the empty rooms in the house continue. Many pregnant teenagers have applied, one mom looking to pimp her 15 year old daughter for rent, and others most have been under the weird radar since my landlord hasn't said anything. I did have lunch with one of the applicants. She's a year older than me and seems stable enough which would be good. Since she would be taking the room next to mine and we would be sharing a bathroom together. I have to have a nut job or a guy since he would probably be a slob.

Lay Down Saturday

It's nice to relax. I was reminding myself last night that my office makes me the money while pizza fills in the gaps. I fall into the trap of thinking of everything from the pizza view. Probably since it is cash in hand. However an extra patient everyday I work pizza would equal out the same. So I was able to set goals to start dropping the second job. When I get to 50 a month I can drop a day and when I pass 60 I can drop it all together. A lot of it comes down to giving what I know a patient needs and what they will pay for. This week I've stayed my course with what I think and surprisingly patients have followed my recommendations. This alone will push up my stats the rest will be getting the new patients in the office.

The rest of the day yesterday was good. What can I say knowing someone likes you just makes life better. The hug and the look on Spa girl's face when she left convinced me of that. I'll stop over later to give her a hair clip she dropped here yesterday. I also want to say for her to be careful with her trip to NC. Anything with her ex to me can be physically dangerous to me so I just want her to know I don't want anything to happen to her.

I finally got Heroes season one set from Ebay. I'm really enjoying it. Besides the comic book feel it's just nice an interwoven story really grabs you once you get into it.

I see that everyone likes W Salsa girl. I like her too and she's very attractive. However the 15-20 year age difference is the problem. While I get along with the twenty something crowd a connection just doesn't happen as I've seen with April and CPA girl.

Day of Rest

Well I finally rented out Heroes to watch after I hear everyone talk about it. I have to admit he first episode was a little slow for me, but the second did catch my interest. What sucked was that their was only 2 episodes on the first disc so I had to rent the second disc to see if I liked it. I have to admit that it is growing on me.

On a day I could sleep late I was up nice and early. After laying around in bed I did some stuff that needed to be done like laundry and cleaning. One thing that I did accomplish that I have been meaning to do is fix my photo album. I realized when CPA girl showed me hers that I really needed to upgrade mine. I mean I was with my ex for 16 years of my life. So I unweaved her today so that when women want to see my past this other woman isn't just dominating it. Another thing that came up then was something that also came up when I dated Brenda 2 years ago. I hold off on telling stories of my history since it's not nice. It's weird and unhappy shit. Everyone that knows me looks at me and wonders how I segwayed into a pretty normal life. I don't really have an answer beyond that I try to do the right thing.

It sparked in my mind yesterday when Spa girl and myself were talking and she was like we could compare notes on ex's. Some things I just steer around until some bonding had taken place first and maybe some DNA. My one worry with Spa girl is that she is still not divorced even though they are living in separate states. Sounds familiar to me. However she is just getting back out. She seems very assertive which I always find attractive, but their is an undercurrent of manipulation. Something that makes me wary since I seem to attract these women. So far all she has done is to keep getting me in her chair. So like the Geisha am I only business?

I have to thank CinnKitty for this one. Since it is very true. Spa girl has a smile that lights up my world, she's attractive, and I enjoy talking with her. So whatever concerns I have go out the window.

Realizations

Comedy Improv was hilarious as always and a great way to spend a Sunday night. April was a good sport since she became the star of the show with the continuous "April has a huge vagina" comment that dominated a number of games. Yeah that top hat of hers just slowly sunk over her entire head as the jokes flew. One thing I realized looking and interacting with April is that I probably wouldn't be able to be friends with CPA girl. April and I only went a few times and it was fun, but not enough chemistry. So I see her every month at the event since she is the MC and I think hey she's attractive and I know why I went out with her. However in the back of my head is the notion to go out with her again. I would never ask, but the thought is there. Now CPA girl I felt a LOT more connected than I did April. I don't think I could make the transition. I mention this because enough people say since we hit it off so well to be friends. Some people maybe able to do it, but not me.

My Past Still Haunts

For me talking and sharing always reveals something I need to change to move on in life. Looking over my stats for the year in the office shows double the amount of new patients than last year, but very little of an increase in office revenue. The realization is that I am still taking care of everyone else and leaving myself in the cold. An age old problem. I'm speeding people through care to make it affordable for them and leaving myself in poverty. Not helpful. So I need to make at least $500 per new patient coming in a month. Anything else and I'm slashing my own throat. I'm not looking to add anything that doesn't need to be down, but better teaching of what needs to be done to make them healthy. I'm a fast learner, but I know everyone else isn't.

Also today I was looking back to see what I have learned from my relationships this year. It actually started when I was drinking my sweet tea. A smile formed on my face when I remembered I had gotten this from CPA girl as a way to cut back on my soda intake. L had taught me to relax in my relationship as well as reconnect with my sexual side. April reminded me how much fun it is just to ask someone out of the blue.

Dating Thoughts

One thing I realized last night while I was laying around was how my dating life is better this year than it has been. When I first started dating about a year after I separated from my ex and about 17 years from my last date. I went on a LOT of first dates about 15 in 5-6 months. Hey I don't do anything half assed. I'll put the blame on myself as I got my dating legs back. However the 3 women I've dated this year have gone beyond that. April and CPA girl, I went out on 3-4 dates and L and I went out for about 3 months. So there were no one date wonders in 2007 so far. There have been many women that I have asked out that never got to the table, but that's okay. Grateful to see the progression.

Friday

It was nice to relax at home last night. I actually had TV on. I mean I usually watch DVD's, but I have to turn the VCR on to actually watch normal TV and I haven't since May when all new episodes ended. It was weird to watch.

I visited my Mom this morning not knowing how she would be. She was in good spirits. Her right hand wasn't that swollen. She could lift the arm, but she couldn't move her fingers. I know she had rehab this morning so we will see how it goes. Mostly she wanted to know what all the commotion had been about.

I left word for Eric last night, but got no response. We'll see how it goes over the next few days.

Still a little bit bothered with CPA girl. Well not her really just the circumstances. I know if you scratch me I'm a rebel underneath. I hate being helpless and this relationship has left the tinge of that in my mouth. We both liked each other, same core beliefs, but chemistry stopped it. Something I don't have control over. If she didn't like me that would be one thing, but this is a hard pill to swallow. The other thing I have been thinking about is that I grew up with very little so anything above that I'm happy with which isn't always the best. A dime is better than a nickel, but it still isn't much. With April and CPA Girl I knew there was a chemistry problem, but I continued. I know why I was still enjoying myself with them. Since I separated from me ex I have never been the one to break it off. I just wonder if I will know when to.

Dating Thoughts

One thing I realized with this last round of dating over is boy I've changed. Growing up and into my early dating life if there was a problem I hit the eject button and I was out of there. I guess that was one thing I learned in my marriage. Sticking it out. I knew there was something missing between me and CPA girl, but I was in no rush so I would see how far it would go. Also I was enjoying myself. This came up when someone asked me if I could be friends with her. In the future I could do it, but not now. The feelings are to fresh and strong.

The other thing I realized is that early dating was "I hope she likes me, make sure to do everything right," etc. Now it's like I like that, don't like that, can't live with that. Nice to see myself coming from a healthier place.

The Sounds of Silence

I wasn't expecting it so I wasn't surprised to not hear from CPA Girl. Last week I was talking with German Girl about her and I had stated that it was weird. That I really like her, she was very attractive, and we had so many core beliefs in common. However there always seemed to be something missing when we talked. Like when you put a puzzle together and there is a piece missing. I didn't know what to think of it, but I was enjoying myself and figured it would work out for the best at some point (whatever that would be). So I was amazed when ACG said that CPA girl probably did like me, but something was probably missing for her and she didn't know how to tell a nice guy it wasn't working out. Anyway since this is the last post of her. Here is a pic of Anastasia from the Salsa site. She looks a lot younger here though.

Pizza was a hell of a lot better tonight than it was last night. I worked half the hours, but made the same amount in tips. Besides that is was just a nice lazy day. I slept late, relaxed, read, and enjoyed some shows on DVD.

Thursday Wrap Up

One of my friends asked if I was happy that CPA girl called back. I had to say not really since I don't feel she is going to call. My gut tells me something is up. I don't think she is trying to screw with me or anything. Just something is going on and I have no idea what. If she calls to get together great, if not no big deal.

I love it when it drizzles the nights I have pizza. I don't really get wet and the oven just vomits out pizzas. It's great. Although I have to admit tips were either great or non existent tonight. I got one pantless guy tonight. I have to admit at least he admitted it, had a robe, and never came from behind the door. A few questions did come to mind. Like if your going to spank the monkey do it before you order or at least wait till you get the pizza. Also if you had enough energy to get up and get a robe, just through some pants on instead. Now that I remember it I did have a woman do something similar tonight. I have no idea what she was wearing in the house with her young daughter and teenage son, but it took her forever to put on a robe that was so tightly bound around her I couldn't believe she could breathe.

I was able to get off early without doing my duties tonight which was great. I was tired, but it was still early enough to go to salsa. So I shot down there and the crowd was better than last week, but still a little light. My Tuesday night instructor was there and we got to dance a little. Knowing the basics I was able to hop in mid way of the class. However at break I sat down and I could close my eyes and be asleep. I had pushed myself so I headed on home. Tomorrow since I'm not working or seeing CPA girl I'll come home and relax.

Since CPA girl is uncertain I put in for days I want off next week. Next Thursday so I can make the full class and next Saturday so I can hit the Neptune Festival.

HHmmmmmm

Well I made my call to CPA Girl. It was a short message with me saying I hadn't heard from her and hoped everything was okay and to give me a call when she could.

So a few minutes later she called back. I was a little nervous to pick it up. She apologized for not calling saying she was busy and she had taken on more work. We caught up on our week and I asked if I could see her tomorrow. I gave her an out which I shouldn't of, but oh well. She took it and said she was busy. She then said she would call me over the weekend to set up something else. I don't know if she will call or not. Something is off and I can't put my finger on it. The happiness is no longer there in her voice. If she does call again I will ask.

I know she is having a hard time being upfront with a friend and I wonder if she is also having the same problem with me.

It's Just Me

Doing better today. Felt me feelings and now I'm on the other side. For me it a total exercise to go through them. I'm a over sensitive person and my parents never taught me how to deal with all my feelings. So after a life time of doing everything to suppress them I'm doing what I can to feel them and not cover them up.

I do think things are over for me and CPA girl, but I will call again later today. Growing up the way I did I am hypersensitive to changes in people. My switch was flipped Sunday and I know that is why I was craving some physical consolement not that I pushed for sex. Like I stated before a hug or a kiss is fine. CPA girl did chew gum for hours though and I don't kiss someone who is chewing. Again it is just a feeling, but in this world sometimes that is all I have. From them I will make decisions and learn from them and grow.

Nothing

Well no call back from CPA girl. I was sad through the afternoon and I was going to pass on the gym, but like dancing I knew I would feel better afterwards. So I went and felt better. Still checking my phone every 30 minutes though. Trying to stay out of that insane thought pattern of what happened Sunday that started the difference.

So I'll call her tomorrow and see what happens. Until then I get to do some long over due laundry and cleaning.

The Waiting Game

I hate the waiting game. Truly! I know that CPA girl would be finished with her review class by 12:30 so I jump every time the phone rings. I actually had to change her ring so that I wouldn't lose my mind. Still nothing. Since she has made calls to me out of the blue I leave today to her to return my call. I'll try again tomorrow if I don't hear anything to give it the last chance.

Tuesday Wrap Up

I left a message on CPA girl's phone. I know this is her marathon day of school. No response like I hoped. As always I think the worse and if it is I have to remember there's nothing for me to do anyway. It's her decision. My hope is that she will call tomorrow and we are able to get together.

I was tired when I got out of pizza tonight. No real stories, but I did come down on TJ for shaking CPA girl's hand Sunday so he could see her cleavage. He was scared I told her about it and I told him no. However after seeing her he wants to go to salsa now.

Anyway I know how it is just to work the 2 jobs and then go home. So I went to salsa cause I know it will make me feel better and I know I don't have to stay all night. We started late tonight so I ended up talking to both bartenders. All I could think about was the line from Two & Half Men about bartenders. "You know they work on tips." I've yet to see a half dressed female bartender. Like where do they get these outfits? Fredrick's of Hollywood? Well tonight was a first. There was more women than men. Only by one, but that was major. Since everyone there, me included knew our basic stuff we did some fun intermediate stuff. Spins, reverse cross overs, and coppas which is a fun pull and release. With more practice I'll get better. The biggest problem is at this level a partner is really needed to get it down. The details is what makes it work.