Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Stop the Press

Well I asked my ex about driving Eric out to my brothers.  As expected she said no.  However she did call back later and changed her mind if I could drop him back off when I got my car back.  She said Eric was so depressed that she would drive him.  I wish she would decide on her own, but hey.

So it will be different for him with no TV and no junk food.  I explained that to him and he was okay with it.  My head is still spinning as money goes flying out the window.  I'm going to need to borrow to help cover everything.  The cost of repairs is still way below the bluebook value of the car.  So I'm good with that.  Hey it's like starting all over again.  Especially since it hasn't given me any problems.

Now I just need to get my ex here.  I hate giving her directions and I still don't understand why she can't do it herself.

Stuck in the Middle with You

Well I need a new engine for my car.  So I'll be stuck here at my brothers for the week.  Hopefully I'll be able to get out of here by Friday.  I feel bad upsetting my brothers life with my stay.

I guess with all the unknowns finally resolved I'll feel better.  Sleep has been broken for the last few nights and the emotional drain is taking its toll.  I'm never good with the unknown. However once it's all uncovered I do very well.  So I'm thankful for all the loving people around me that have helped keep my mental sanity.  

I'm going to see if my ex will bring Eric over although I'm not holding my breath on it.  However it's about and hour drive so we'll see.

Since I have limited Internet access I'll visit you guys and gals next week.

Traveling Fun

Well I left for my trip for NY yesterday.  Since it was a Saturday instead of a Friday and I wasn't picking Eric up that day it was a nice leisurely trip.  The thing that sucks about being on the highway is you can't really stop for pictures.  I would have loved one of the Big, Fat, and Ugly Inc.  Not quite sure what they do, but the sign was priceless.  Also when you go from Delaware to New Jersey they always have a large lighted sign saying if your are in crisis call xxx-xxxx.  Well the "if" wasn't working so you had this huge sign saying you're in crisis.  It was pretty funny.  

Then it happened.  I broke down on the NJ Turnpike.  As in many places in NY it's a contracted road.  Meaning that your towing service can't touch you.  You have to use them which is like allowing some guy named Bubba to sodomize you.  At first he was like no place is open till Monday.  I'm like in Virginia we have places open 7 days a week so I know NJ does.  Then he remember a place farther away that would be open during the weekend.  On our ride he regaled me with stories of all the accidents on the highway and what people look like after they've been run over by an 18 wheeler.  Am I in the Twilight Zone movie?

Anyway my timing belt had broken which I wasn't happy about especially with possible engine damage.  The good thing was that I was on my way to my brothers and he wasn't too far away. So as planned I stayed the night with them.  Today they tell me yes their is engine damage and it will take a few days to repair.  This really sucks.  I called my patients to reschedule them. The worse was calling Eric that I wouldn't be seeing him.  2 hours before I'm suppose to pick him up.  He was really upset and so was I.

The Planner has been helpful in talking to during this.  I'm still spoiling her with good morning text everyday.  

So I've been taking pics of my niece and relaxing since that's all I can do now.  I'm not too happy right now, but I know it could have been a lot worse.

Post Date Report

Well the Planner and I had a wonderful evening. She met me at my office and she looked great when she walked in the door. It was pouring rain when she arrived so I gave her some treatment to while away the time and we chatted. We talked a lot tonight and learned a lot about each other. I was pretty upfront with her about did she want a relationship which she answered yes. The Planner stated she had a lot of business obligations though. We talked about it. She's had her share of bad relationships and doesn't want to be smothered. Also that she hard time relaxing in the relationship and it would take time. The Planner did know all my assets since she mentioned them. She was surprised and pleased by my honesty, responsibility, humor, etc. I was surprised that she had a big list.

We had a great dinner in the hole of a wall place that she had found. The food was awesome, but from the outside I would have guessed it to be a dump. The concert did happen after all the torrential rain had stopped. 2 other of the singles were there. The singer was really good, but with the ground soaked there was no place to sit. So we walked around the square looking at all the places. We found out that our PDA's are at different levels. I have no problem in public and the Planner knows that I'm very generous with my affection. When were alone she's great, but in public she's a little more restrained.

My biggest attraction to her after just feeling safe with her is our ability to talk things out which is huge in my book. Problems will come up, but we seem to be able to deal with them in a healthy manner.

We're both going to be sleeping really well tonight. On a side note I guess my time in the gym has paid off since the Planner keeps drooling over me being solid muscle. Who knew?

So our problem for the next week is that their will be no sex until Eric is gone. It's funny since I'm okay with it, but the Planner I think is going to be jonesing. I did suggest that she could drive over one night and we can have sex in her car. I was surprised to see her thinking about it. LOL.

Friday Night Lights

Well the Planner is driving down this afternoon and soon as I finish in the office we'll head over to see the concert in Chesapeake. The real reason we're going is that she wants to eat at a restaurant she ate last week and really enjoyed. I'm hoping things go well. However if she gives me the cheek like last week there will be problems. I don't like having to have basic relationship items being a problem especially on date 5. So I'll nip it in the bud if it raises its ugly head. She said she was going to do all her girlie things last night like her eyebrows and such. So I'm hopeful.

Getting ready for my trip up north tomorrow. I'll stay at my brother's place tomorrow night and then pick up Eric Sunday afternoon. It's later than I would like, but he really wants to say goodbye to the priest at the church. Oh well. Then it will start a week long adventure of us together.

They Care

Talking with my patient TB tonight who invited me to Laser Tag the other night. Did I forget to tell you that you can't run in there? The most stupid rule I ever heard. Anyway it seems that many of the ladies want to come into therapy now. More to see me than they actually need it. She was upset with the woman that she wanted to set me with since she wasn't interested. Both TB and her sister are my patients. Both of them had choice words for this woman. LOL. They care about me so much its sweet. So TB is trying another one of her friends that was there. The problem is I can't remember who she was since their were so many people there. Not that I'm super interested, but I like to remember people.

Things seem to be going well with the Planner. When she wants to poke fun at me she'll say I have to sleep in the other room. I usually come back with her sleeping in my bed. Well see each other tomorrow night for a free concert and dinner.

Hey It's Christmas in June

One thing I love better than opening presents on Christmas (note to self. Idiot you haven't done that in years) anyway I love finding fun new sites. Sci-Fi has a site full of awesome new technology devices. I have to pick the weird fun one.

Theoretical charging bra gets energy from breast motion

The great thing about it is they update all day long. I jones very fast for change on the web. I have to admit for the most part their maybe a ton of information out here, but updating is like the next ice age for most things. So a cool site that is updates tons of times through the day is great for my ADDH web viewing.

Yin Yang Wednesday

Something happened today that hasn't happened in a long time. Overdraft fees! I could of swore I put in my activities from the weekend in there, but I didn't. So I got slammed today with them. Boy am I pissed at myself. That was a lot of money that I needed for this weekend for going to pick up Eric. The good thing is that this use to be a normal occurrence with me until I got better with my finances. Since it hasn't happened in a long time is a good thing, but the timing really sucks.

On the dating front, the Planner and I finally got to talk today. She didn't realize I called last night. She was feeling better after sleeping in late this morning which is rare for her. So I asked if she had fully recovered from my sleepover. She then apologized if she had been mean. Continuing with that working from home she has her routines down and not sleeping with anyone in a long time was really weird. That it all had unbalanced her.

I told her it showed on her face. My question was if her actions were her attempt to re balance or she really felt that way. Was she wanting to work me into her life? I actually said little life to minimize it. She was on me fast. I apologized saying that I was trying to lessen what I was saying since it was big.

The Planner said that sleepovers on Sundays were out. Other nights would be better. I offered my place, but she said she couldn't do a full size bed. It was hard enough sleeping with me in a queen size bed. Her hope is that I'll get my own place sometime soon. Something I told her wouldn't be happening for a while. That I really wanted to get rid of my debt first. Investing in a house is one thing. Blowing money on a bigger apartment at this point isn't happening.

The tension between us dissipated which was nice. We'll see each other Friday for a concert in the park and then dinner.

Hey its Hump Day

It was interesting to go play Laser Tag last night. Mostly because I'm playing with a bunch of my patients and their friends. It was fun and I'm going to schedule it for a Singles event. If you've never tried it you should. It's a blast. I did get to meet the woman my patient wanted me to meet. She was nice, but I'm not quite sure.

On the Planner front it's been little contact. She feel asleep early Monday so we didn't talk. We talked a little yesterday so I could find out what was going on with her finger. She then suggested we talk later in the evening. However I was still out playing when she called. I texted back to say I'd call her when I got home. However there was no response when I left a message.

For me it's hard to fight strong for the relationship. The reason is it's only 4 dates. If we're already at the labors of Hercules at this point I don't want to know what we'll be dealing with in a year. My guess right now is that the Planner is pushing me away. Whether it is to see if I'll come back or just get rid of me, I don't know. However it's not something I like. So as the days pass it gets easier for me to be more cut and dry with this as any emotions I had just drop away.


When I called the Planner last night their was no answer so I left a message. She texted me this morning that she had fallen asleep early. Her message was cut off so I had to contact her. She cancelled our date Wednesday to catch up on work, but kept Friday. Me thinks she couldn't take another sleep over in such a short time. She seemed very business like today so I'll tackle the vulnerability thing tonight when we talk. Is this what she wants or is she willing to work on letting me into her life.

On a separate note a friend of mine quite our business group since she is too busy. While I'm happy for her I hate when relationships are disrupted. I know I can pick the phone up anytime, but a planned meeting each week is better for seeing people.

Lastly I'm looking forward to Laser Tag tonight. I'll get to see if it would be a good singles event. Also meet this person my patient thinks would be a good match.

Still Sorting

Relationship issues always take me time to sort out. One thing that is really bothering me is that I came out of this date/sleep over less connected than I went in. I'm sad to say if the Planner called and said it wasn't working out for her I would be okay with it. This last date I've seen the high cliffs that protect her and I'm not quite sure she's going to let me know what the secret passage is to get to her.

So as always with me. Action is always better than reacting. I saw that when we played Pente last night. So I'll ask her about her vulnerability and her readiness to let me into her life. Since the statement to me of, "I'm never being vulnerable and in place to get hurt again," kind of says it all to me. Hopefully I'll know by the time our Wednesday date is over.

Now Back to Reality

Well I went over to the Planner's house last night. I brought my gym bag with me just in case it turned into a sleep over. The other were condoms since I know they aren't going to survive in the heat of my car. So it was weird asking to keep them at her place. I have to admit sex last week was kind of a speed bump in our relationship.

The Planner has never been married, been burned in a few relationships, and has been single for a long time. So she is swinging in and out with closeness. For me sex is a step closer when your ready for it. I don't think she is.

When I got to her house I had to wait for her. I get anxious waiting for women. It's a childhood thing of never knowing how my Mom would be when she came in the door. Most of the time she was nice, but every once in a while it was a beating. So it's a little work for me to stay calm. So seeing angry when she got there didn't help.

The Planner was upset that someone had busted her mirror on her car yesterday. It seemed to consume her a bit which was weird. So when we sat down for dinner she was down the table from me. I could see she was going through a lot of anger so I let her vent.

We finally actually played Pente the game. With strategy games I'm pretty intense player. I don't care if I win or lose. I just like to be challenged. After beating her solidly many times I was wondering if I should let her win, but that just didn't seem right. The Planner became annoyed and started to focus more and the she started beating me naturally so it was fun.

Now I have to say going from sex one night to letting me kiss her on the cheek is weird for me, but that was the flavor of the night. We both grabbed showers and relaxed on her bed to watch TV. Her stomach had been bothering her all night so she had a difficult time falling to sleep. I did find out the Planner doesn't like someone touching while she's sleeping. Actually having someone in the bed is just behind that. For me I instinctually gravitate to the pleasant smelling warm body. She said I did it a lot. All I remember at some point was her rolling me away from her. Oh well.

She was a little off this morning with having someone in her bed all night and I think in her space first thing in the morning. She bought me breakfast and we talked. She asked many questions like where do I see myself 5 years from now, renting, owning? Marriage, dating, being single. She hinted around my salary. What I could do for her? We are so yin and yang its too funny. Besides a more successful business I really didn't have a five year plan. I would have more money and make the decision then. I would like to me married again, but not fathering any more kids. For her, it would be grounding and support. Something she already feels.

I see the Planner really wanting to stay out of any vulnerability in a relationship. I was going to discuss it with her, but I could tell it wasn't going to be a good time. However that would be a BIG limiting factor and something that would be a deal breaker for me. She seems to only accept PDA's at certain times and the kissing her cheek when I left this morning. Just makes me wonder.

I'm not quite sure if she's ready to add someone into her life. She's very good till I'm there. It may just be in her house. So I have to push a few issues now. Is this a relationship I see potential with or not? Many limiting issues are starting to appear. It will all depend on her choices to see where we go.

Dreams & Seminars

I was trying to turn on a tall lamp. I flicked the switch a few times and nothing happened. So I called out for someone to flip the circuit breaker. Since it was a tall lamp I grabbed it to reach up and turn it on. When I did I felt the electricity run up my arm and through my body. It was a weird feeling to have all the voltage running through me. My hand was clamped to the lamp from the charge. I called out to flip the circuit off again. However my cries fell on deaf ears. I could reach over and pull the plug out of the wall. That would have been the easier smarter way, but I wanted it my way. So I used my other hand to pry my fingers off the lamp. Then I woke up at 1 am in the morning. I really hate when that happens.

So with sometime to try and fall back to sleep I figured I would analyze my dream. Hey I had free time. It was pretty easy for me. I have a choice at the moment of relaxing, doing what is normal, and smart. Or I can do it my way like Burger King. What am I talking about? Sex and the Planner. It was very good the other night and the Planner is still raving about it. My ego should be the size of a small planet right now, but its not. All I can think of is how to make it better.

The words of my friend Jim come back to haunt me. Can you just be satisfied with what you have or do you always need more? I guess the sexual arena will be my next battlefield. I had to truly bite my tongue not to ask what else could I do to make it better for her. It's good question, but one I want to ask at a different time so I can enjoy what I have. It's going to be a work in process.

So 9 hours in a seminar today with only a few hours sleep was a little rough. It's a great seminar and I'm learning a lot to help my patients with. So much that I'll increase my prices $2 so I can cover the extra time I will be spending with them.

I learn the best by being the volunteer so I've been doing that all day. OMG am I sore. Each exercise we're learning is a 7-8 week progression. We learn them in about 2 minutes. I may be in good shape, but boy did these push me beyond my limits.

The really sad part about the seminar were the participants. It has a good turnout, but way too many of them are just there for the credits. I got stuck in one of those groups at one point and I felt like I was at a frat party. It's really weird to have half of the group exercising and the other half just goofing around.

Also I think I'll see if I can teach a fall prevention at the rec center for the seniors. It won't be a money maker, but I think it will be very helpful to them and will get my name out there.

Business Relationships

It's funny, the Planner and myself being business people schedule everything. So today we planned our next 3 dates next week. Sunday at her place, Wednesday at on off shoot of my singles group, and Friday at a free concert with my group. Fun, dinner, and Pente will follow.

I tell you sales people are on my life ticks on a coon hound. Jeez they won't stop calling here. I made a few appointments to meet with them. More for others who I can refer to, but there starting to overshadow my patients which is never good.

Other than that I'm enjoying texting back and forth with the Planner today. A mix of feelings and just stuff. I forgot how nice it is to do this kind of relationship stuff. With the last few women I've dated this aspect was missing. I was feeling so good I sent her a card. Hopefully she'll have it Monday.

Pente Anyone?

The Planner came over my place last night. She had a meeting on my side of the water so she came over afterwards. She had asked if I wanted to play Pente and I said sure although I hadn't played in about 25 years. It was good to see her last night and she made herself very comfortable on my bed. The Planner didn't bring Pente. Now one thing I do like about her is that she is an individual. She knows what she wants, is assertive, and will never admit that she's planning something. LOL. So it's a bit of a workout for me. I'm so use to being the one that covers all the bases and makes things happen. Having an equal partner is different for me. I like it a lot, but I have to reign myself in to keep the balance.

So it was fun night. I really like how we can talk about anything and it's just an easy flow. We'll need a sleep over soon since separating is a real chore. We both don't want to do it, but getting up early for work nudges us along.

Manic Wednesday

I had an appointment for a case review for my Mom today. I wanted to ask about her leaning and lump on a log attitude over the last few weeks. However when I arrived for my visit today she was all straight and talkative, well as best as she can be. It was a complete turn around. So I sat while she had her nails done and we sat outside. I didn't even know they had the courtyard for the residents there. Anyway during the meeting they said they now had a full time activities person there for the wing. So Mom has been doing more activities like bingo, etc. At least I had my answer.

I tell you the bad thing about texting is you can't really tell the emotion behind it. The Planner and I usually text each other during the day. For a while there I thought she was upset with me. So I called to sort it out, but I had been mistaken. As usual we had a good talk. I helped her yesterday with some chronic muscle pain she's had for a long time. She wanted to pay me and I told her there was no reason. Glad to help and I liked her so I wasn't looking for any. She was a bit surprised by my it's a gift attitude and just pass it onto someone else down the road that you meet.

We talked about my speed talking which I'm notorious for. Especially today since it was a good day and people are calling to come in. So I'm busy. However it's been a while since someone said something about my speed so it was a work out to slow down. The Planner knows how fast I process stuff so I asked her if she didn't mind to remind me and I would slow down. I did point out that I use to talk faster which blew her mind.

Tonight is game night which is always fun. I'm hoping more people step up to help with events since I will want to see the Planner more and I'll drop back to doing 2 events a week. My usual attitude is if you have a problem with it than step up the plate and help. If not STFU!


"It's better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers." --James Thurber"

I believe the purpose of my life is to learn, grow, and be the best possible person I can be," said a group member. "In order to do that, I must ask big questions of myself and God. I ask questions like What's love? What's my life's work? What's the best way to deal with this problem? How can I best plan for the future? Who and What is God? What constitutes an ideal friendship or marriage? What is the purpose of life? and What's preventing me from reaching my goal?'"To me, asking big questions makes life an exciting adventure. I look upon everyone and everything as a partial answer to a larger question. Life is never boring to me. Or lonely. I treasure every experience as a means of expanding my knowledge and understanding."

It's funny. Most people know I over think things. Having lived a mostly unconscious life, I've now swung to the other side. However because I over think things doesn't mean I'm inactive. My thought process which most of you see here allows me to take my actions in life. I live by the premise of "life without action is death." So I question my feelings and motivations constantly. Mostly because I still don't have a handle fully on them.

So here you see my thoughts and the mysteries I try to unravel of my soul. This allows me, when I'm out in the real world, to act in a way that is congruent with my values. I know myself better so I'm able to act accordingly in any situation.

A + B = ?

Talking to Eric yesterday and I forget what we were talking about, but he said he wasn't a risk taker. I was taken back by it mostly because I'm the opposite. What can I say I am a head first type of guy with some caution thrown in. Hey I'm a type A personality. Eric has always been a type B. He was such a laid back baby. So I wonder if his non risk taking is his natural behavior or my ex's influence? My worry with him always is if he working to his full potential. I know he has a high IQ and can really do a lot if he puts his mind to it. So I find myself wanting him to be doing his best. However I don't want to push him into things that he just want to do. So you know this is all in my head and no situations have come up. It's just when I think I imagine Eric being like me in tackling things. When he said that wasn't him it threw me.

The Lunch Date Minus Lunch

The Planner stopped by today after her meeting. It was good to see her and show her my office. She had a very good meeting so she was all hyped. I offered her therapy and I had to twist her arm to accept (heavy sarcasm there). I massaged her hands then she did mine while she was on therapy. She does a very good job.

One thing I had to thank her for was all the compliments she gives me. I forgot how nice it is to get them from someone you're seeing. Another little area of healing of mine. The Planner is still getting use to kissing someone again. Hugging is no problem and she's nice and huggable which I like. Our biggest problem so far is separating. We get very relaxed around each other and don't want it to end. Plus we already have our little inside jokes.

I will tell you I see the difference between her and Law girl. While I did like Law girl the chemistry level was low. So now seeing it on high is a big eye opener.

The Planner just called and said if I ever want to stop by her place to get away I could which was very nice of her. She said she was going to be busy tonight and I could use the night to relax. Besides I want to clean my place for Thursday when she comes over.

Post Date Report (day late)

Okay I can't believe I'm doing what I said I would never do again. Driving 45 minutes to date a woman. However the Planner is good with it and is coming down half the time so I really don't have a problem with it.

We had a great time last night. I got to meet her cat KC and as most animals and kids do they take to me. Planner was surprised that he just planted himself in front of me to be scratched. Although she found out later when I played with her hair.

We headed out to play miniature golf. It was a lot of fun. Since I got the pull back last time I wasn't quite sure what was okay this time. So I took it slow and easy, but I found our groove as time went on. The best description of the night was when we sat outside after the game. The Planner asked was it Sunday since it felt like Friday. I told her what day it was, but I wished it was Friday. Then I realized how long it has been since I said that. I've worked for so long on weekends, then nothing to do on weekend so I looked forward for Monday and back to work. To really want more time off was a surprised that I forgot how good it felt. We played some games inside and I won her a toe ring and 2 tootsie rolls.

What's really weird is to meet a woman who eats like me, just constantly. Eating to keep the hunger away. So we stopped at Moe's grill for some food then back to her house to relax.

In the beginning the Planner found me opening her door for her a novel thing, but as the night went on she asked if I could stop since she felt it bother her independence. It was no problem for me. She was surprised how little things bothered me. As usual I'm asked if things do bother me which they do. I informed her when it comes up I would say something. The Planner hasn't dated in years so getting her relationship legs back again is going to take a while.

We hung at her place talking till the wee hours of the morning. Both of us never wanted it to end since it was nice and relaxing. She actually massaged my hand. Someone did something for me? WTF? It's been so long that I don't think I have any recorded memory of it happening.

She had a lot of questions about my past since I will say somethings in passing, but I try not to dwell on it unless I'm asked. Like most people they can't form a true picture without more information. Everyone can't see how I got from point A to Z and be the person I am from what I came from.

I did throw her a few curve balls I guess. While she was massaging my hand she asked if I was ticklish and said yes. I then asked her and she said sort of, but she didn't like being surprised and poked from behind. So I told her that was good to know so I wouldn't do it. You could see the wheels turning in her head. I asked her about it and she said she expected me to say it was good to know so I could do it. I was like why would I do that to a person I liked.

So about 1 in the morning we finally separated much to our own sorrow, but knew we would feel it today. Tuesday she'll be in the area and will stop by the office and we'll grab lunch. Then Thursday she'll stop by my place after her meeting since she'll be down here.

Father's Day

I have to admit this is always a non holiday to me. I do legally have Eric this weekend, but since I usually pick him up in 2 weeks I never see him for it. So with no one to celebrate me the holiday feels hollow. Although I have to admit this has been the best Father's day I've had in years. Surprisingly many people that I know have wished me a happy one. I talked to Eric on the phone. I spent the day with friends and tonight I have a date with the Planner who I'm really starting to like even though we haven't seen each other since Wednesday. Post date to follow at some point later.

It's All Happening at the Zoo

Well I headed out this morning to meet up with the singles for the Zoo. Now while the Chrysler museum is really a great museum especially for a smaller metropolitan area. The zoo is a small zoo. There is a lot of land, just a small amount of animals. It's a nice walk and it's good to see, but every few years is good enough.
This prairie dog was determined to escape. I have to admit he was a damn good climber, but the prison walls were made very well and he keep falling down over, over, and over.

Meerkat manor seemed to be dominated by this one guy. There were two little ones peeking out from their home.

I tried the rhino ride, but this guy just wasn't moving to fast. While I didn't have a problem getting on like the others I did smash my knee into him which didn't feel all that good.

While it cleared up for nicely. The humidity struck very hard. The big cats like this tiger decided it was time for a siesta in the humid afternoon.

Afterwards we decided to try a Peruvian restaurant that I heard about. Boy was the food good.

Another One for the Bucket List

One thing I've wanted to do for a while is go kayaking. So like I usually do I schedule it for the singles. So tonight was the night of the event. We got off to a bumpy start since the park really didn't give us a specific place to meet. So we were scattered around the area looking for it. I made the mistake of walking back into the brush following the kayak launch signs. Oh my god I was swarmed by deer flies. Normal flies just buzz around. Deer flies attach you. By the time I got to the water I was crawling with them. It was almost like a bee keeper with a bee beard. I ran out of there screaming for my friend Kathy to run. She just stood there wondering what was chasing me when I blew past her. I swear it took almost 5 minutes to get them all off of me.

Anyway we almost gave up on the event when we noticed this small group of people. So I walked over and sure enough that was them. The park was on the other side of the animal refuge. So it was quite a drive, but very scenic. We saw herons, egrets, deer, and wild pigs. Sorry no pics I didn't want to get my camera wet so I didn't bring it.

We all had tandem kayaks. At first it was a little rough when we went out on the bay. The wind was against us and the waves were crashing over the bow. Being in the front I got soaked pretty fast. However soon we turned back in to go down one of the canals. Our kayak was defective and I'm sticking to that. They taught us how to turn, but our kayak just wanted to go right. We had the hardest time turning left.

I have to admit it was a little shorter than I would have wanted, but by the time we got back to shore my body was saying different. Afterwards we got changed into dry clothes and stopped for a bite to eat. It's funny. Virginia beach is huge and is the 32nd largest city in the country. The park was in Sandbridge which is located south in the city on the beach. A bit of a ritzy area. I tell you I felt like I was on vacation down there. Everything is so different. Hey now I know when I want to get away for the weekend and I don't want to drive far (about 40 minutes) I know where to go.

Casual Friday

I'm starting to enjoy the jeans and sneakers here in the office on Friday. Hell I would do it everyday if I thought it looked professional. Maybe in 20 years when I start looking older and I can get away with it.

I guess the Planner likes me. She suggested an event on July 4th. It's a party right across from the park where they will have the fireworks display. She figured Eric would really like that. If he's into loud noise now it would be a nice event. The question kind of through me. The last time I brought something like this up with L I got a panicked reaction. Never a good sign. I'm looking forward to seeing her Sunday. I know I must like her if I'm breaking my rule of dating someone on the Peninsula. German girl is going to have a field day with this when she finds out.

Since its not a official full week when Eric is here. I'm having the darnest time trying to find a half day camp for him. I'll ask him if he'll want a full day and then we'll hang out afterwards. I still need to work, but when I have openings we can go out and do stuff.

Oh it Be!

I went for my weekly adjustment and OVDC was like you have no problem finding someone. Instinctively I would like to say I have problems, but I have to admit to most people I know I do pretty well.

I didn't call the Lawyer tonight since I was exhausted. I've been waking early and I don't like that when it happens for a few days. This week it has been about 6:20 every morning. The strange thing is that I don't wake anxious or have anything on my mind. So I'm not quite sure what is driving it. Anyway after a a busy day in the office mixed with me running errands it was a long day. I got home, changed to something comfortable and plopped on my bed for a while.

I ended up continuing my texts with Planner and then figured I would just call her since after 3 texts I would rather talk. So like last night it was a fun conversation with lots of laughter. It was nice to hear that she has a part time job on the weekends. I'm not the only one struggling. Since she was busy tomorrow night I'm going to drive over to her house Sunday night for us to do something. Not quite sure yet, but it will nice to see her.

They weird thing for me is the Lawyer now. You know me I'm the monogamous dater so to have someone I said I would call at some point make me uncomfortable. I guess I have to remember I'm not doing anything wrong.

The Business of Dating

When I date I wonder how firm to be with things. Take the Planner. She's attractive, running her own business, and really enjoyed our time together. However I think she has a lot of fears, has never been married, and I feel like I have a lot to offer her, but I'm not quite sure what's there for me. We texted this morning and she said she could learn a lot from me. I guess that's why they have the 3 date rule to see where you stand.
However I find myself at a crossroads of what I would do business wise and personal wise. Putting time, energy, and money into an endeavor that I enjoy, but get nothing else out of on the business side I would dump it. Hasta la vista baby! On the personal side where do I draw the line. Fun and enjoyment are great, but I can have that with many people. The longer I'm with a person the more tied I will get to them. While I'm neither desperate to find a girl friend or get married their is a practical part of me that hates to waste. However as I learn to enjoy life more is this not part of it. Enjoy it for as long as it last. Like driving a car to see how far it goes before it konks out with no more gas.
People as me all the time how I do all the events that I do. My response is how do you not? I've lived a good chunk of my life not living it to the fullest. So now I'm making up for it. In this situation I still have the Lawyer to add to the mix. As usual I would like everything cut and dry. It's easier that way emotionally and when it comes to that aspect of myself I do like the easier, gentle path. So I'll grab my machete and set out in to the explore the unknown jungle of relationships.

Jazz, Art, & the Planner

Tonight was our Wine & Jazz event at the art museum. It was fun, but it is a different type of event. We sit and drink then scatter around the museum. It was all familiar faces tonight especially the Planner (on the right) who I wanted to talk to. I had met her at Happy Hour and we got to talk a little, but mostly I was able to help her business wise. So I wanted to follow up tonight.

Anyway after waiting the required amount of time for stragglers to come I headed out into the museum. Since my face is what everyone recognizes I have to be seen. Bizarre I know. No one wanted to accompany me.

I'm happy to be alone so I enjoyed the Rembrandt etchings. The Planner stopped by to chat for a few moments then was gone. I wandered for a while and later on she popped up on me again. So I talked with her and we chatted as we wandered the rest of the museum learning about each other and the art. At one point she asked about adjusting her shoulder and who am I to say no to putting my arms around a beautiful woman. I have to say she reacted to it quite nicely.

So after we had perused the whole place we sat down to await everyone else. As our small talk died down I asked if she wanted to grab dinner one night. She was like how about tonight. So I ended up with a date tonight. As my friends know once I get my mind made up on something it doesn't take to long for me to make it happen.

The Planner wanted to experience the beach so I choose a place close to the water. We grabbed some light dinner and had fun talking. She was a little restrained until I said I would grab the bill this time. She repeated my words with a smile and then was a lot more open after that.

We headed down to the beach enjoying the sand and getting our feet wet. I did get the pull back when I leaned in for a kiss. She said she was shy so we ended up sitting on the beach for a while talking. When it got late I walked her back to her car and we fist bumped goodnight.

I tell you its interesting to be told I'm bubbly. I have no idea if this will get off the ground. She is attractive and fun to be with. However I don't know what she has to offer. So where ever this goes I'm okay with.

Now I still have to call the Lawyer tomorrow to set something up hopefully before laser tag. Oye! Feast or famine.

Reality Breaks & Dating

One thing I get a lot of is solicitations from sales people. The new thing now are those place mat advertisements. I get one about every week from someone. The funny thing was yesterday I get one of these and the lady is we called you first. I nearly laughed. What a reality break! My last name starts with "V". I'm never first on the list. I've learned early on that my place is always last on the line.

The interesting thing is when I thought about that how much I've incorporated that into my thought. I'm last in the line and their are a lot of people in front of me. I get treated less than because I'm back in the line. It's interesting how kids view the world and what it means to them.

On the dating front. My patient set up the laser tag event for me to meet her friend. She also gave me her contact information. I had to ask if she was expecting my phone call. The reply I got was that she knew I would be at the event, but it would be nice for us to talk so we don't go in cold turkey to the event. So either tonight or tomorrow I'll give her a call. I have an event with the singles tonight so my schedule will dictate that. When I call I like to have my full attention to what I'm doing especially with someone I have no idea about. Wish me luck.

And the Clock Struck One

Well that didn't take to long. One of my new patients said she was going to Laser tag tonight. I asked her to let me know how it went so I could possibly schedule it for the singles. She was surprised that I was single and instantly went in to matchmaker mode. It was pretty funny. By the time she was finished with therapy today she had someone. She also had in mind how we could casually meet. I'll know by Friday if it's a go or not.

Pretty Woman

For some reason I think the clock has started ticking for me with dating again. Not that I have anything going on right now, but as soon as a pretty woman comes into my circle I'm dropping into dating mode. While I'm reigning myself in, I'm still chatting. With Eric coming in a few weeks which is the first time he's been down here in 2 years I want to focus on him. Also the whole visit is going to cost more than I want with gas as high as it is. So watching finances is important.

I'm guessing this is all lust driven since a pretty face is catching me and not someones conversation. Although I have been thinking lately what I want in a woman. A conversation I had with my brother a few months ago has been playing in my mind. He'd said that with his second wife while they were good to each other they never could move up the ladder of prosperity (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.). I remember that. They tried many things, businesses, etc and they never got off the ground. With my present SIL they have really done well. So I think back to my ex and what my marriage counselor said that I would never be able to prosper with her, that she would be an anchor around my neck. She was so right about that.

So in thinking about all the women I've dated I would say 1 maybe 2 would have fit the bill for that. Now in looking over the horizon I take this into account. While I'm very supportive of the people who are close to me I've rarely choosen people who can support me. So as I look over the present candidates I see good and bad.

The Stylist while I always look for her to be at an event and I think we'll be friends. I know that plane will never get off the ground and that it will be a one way street relationship. However there is something about her that I attach to.

I'm cautious to start anything up with the Banker since she is in my networking group and I don't like to play there. Although almost everyone is married in the group anyway. However she is upbeat, positive, and knows what goes into making things work. Hey for all I know she could already be seeing someone. It's good to think positive.

The Asian has something that attracts me, but I have no idea what. The smooth, creamy skin I know isn't hurting. She's has initiative with things, but demur personality wise. I'm not quite sure if it is ethical or what. It's quite the paradox.

However I'm not dating for now so I guess the point is moot for now.

Shaky Start

I ended up sleeping a little late this morning since my morning was light. I'm not quite sure if it was the nap or the coke (soda), but even though I was tired I couldn't fall asleep.

On the way to the gym I had a feeling that I haven't experienced in a long time. The one that everything is going to fall apart. I have no idea where it came from although I would expect its just my negative side showing itself after a successful day Friday at work. Happy to say the work I've done over the last few weeks helped me able to bring myself up better than I use to. This was very important since I got a call a few minutes later from the mother of one of my patients saying that he would be stopping treatment for now. However they knew they would be back in at some point. If I hadn't had built myself back up a few minutes earlier this would have cracked me. However I was able to be happy to have gotten him pain free in a week after a serious accident.

I'm happy to report that the landlord is working to clean the moldy rug up. The place reeks today with my head hurting and throat rough. It's an oven outside so I can't open the windows, but hopefully by tomorrow the smell will be all gone.

The dating bug hit me strong this weekend. It didn't really go anyplace. I really think it came from I was feeling so good from last week that I wanted more. However I was able to deflate myself to be happy with everything else. Life is good and to happy with that. He I know I sound like I analyze everything, which I do I admit it. However I know myself. I'll screw myself over in a heartbeat with the best of intentions. So until some point in the future I like keeping myself on a short leash in this area.

Sunday Fun

Well people were like rats off a sinking ship when it came to the hike today. It wasn't the 101 it was Saturday, but it was close. However 4 other brave souls and 3 dogs made it. I've never hiked with dogs before so it was interesting. The 2 beagles Max and Zephyr were older and use to it, but Bear the 14 week old pup got pretty pooped the first leg of the journey. We in the singles group never leave a man behind so he had to be carried.
I was hoping there were eagles in the nest along the way, but they were all filled with Osprey. Still a pretty amazing sight. At the half way point we had the beach so we could cool the dogs off. Bear found out pretty fast that you don't drink that water.
While it was very hot, it was the flies and mosquitoes that were the real problem. They attacked us. It wasn't like they fly by you and hope to land on you. These guys mugged us. They just jumped on top of you and tried to feast on you before you killed them. We were smacking each other the whole time.

It was a good hike, but the heat did wear us down and we had to crawl into Subways for lunch. The AC was marvelous. Since I had the day planned out it was back home for a shower and nap. I tell you they were better than the AC at Subway's.

At night I met the singles again for our monthly comedy improv event. Half the cast was newbies so it wasn't as good as usual. However "Don't Dutch my Wookie" still was awesome.

Saturday Evening Post

It's so hot and humid here I jumped from AC to AC all day long. I was hoping to do some more work at the office today to be set up for next week, but the smell was killing me. During the week one of the other suites had some kind of leak that soaked the carpet. Well not the smell of mold is overwhelming. After 30 minutes my head was hurting and my throat was all rough so I have to go. I'll need to talk to the landlords Monday so they can clean it up. It took me a while to stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. As usual I went all negative and envisioned a uphill battle with this, but they've been good with everything else.

I visited my Mom today and did her nails like usual. She is getting to be less responsive each day. However she is still better with my brother than with me. I'm not quite sure if it's because I'm telling her my brother can't see her nods over the phone or what. I did set up staying with him when I go to pick Eric up at the end of the month. Driving both ways is way too hard on me so I'll drive up one day and drive back the next.

Even though the singles may have wanted to see it I went to see Kung Fu Panda by myself. after last weeks trip I realized I still need these alone events for myself. I was the only adult there without a child, but hey I enjoyed myself. It was a good movie. I truly have no idea why Angelia Jolie was in there. She had very few lines and she read them so poorly that a voice actor could have done them better. Still the movie is worth seeing.

Tonight was game night our weekend edition. Since everyone kept complaining that they can't make Wednesday I had it tonight. We only had one face that was different so I'm not quite sure what to do. The funny thing is that they talk about me when I'm not there. Nothing bad they just wonder how do I do 2-3 events a week. The answer for them I have is that I have very good time management skills. Most of them don't have kids or they are all grown up so that didn't even enter the picture. They did like my mix of different events. So I was happy to here that my running the group has been a success so far.

Working Stiff

Man am I tired. I really had to work today since it was the busiest day ever. People just kept calling wanting to come in. My waiting room was actually used today. I caught myself starting to complain when it happened. I can get so focused on something I want to do that I forget the purpose of my business. So it was great seeing new and old faces today. Now I'm just mentally tired. Going from doctor to secretary and back again takes something out of me. When this becomes more a normal day I'll hire someone to take money and schedule appointments.

I'm also thinking that if I can't rent my extra room out by the end of the month I will either plan to make it another treatment room or an actual receptionist office. Two people in the small space I have now is not going to work long.

World Cuisine - Vietnam

This month I herded whoever showed up over to Great Saigon, a really good Vietnamese place. I did start to worry when it was 5 minutes after the appointed hour and no one was there. I'm use to people being late, but absolutely no one was a first. 10 minutes later people started showing up. Besides Ted and Pat who I didn't get to talk to much last time everyone else was new which was good.
The food was really good. I got the recommendation from a friend that lived in Vietnam for years during the war. The portions were huge. So the remains will be eaten today for lunch. The truly funny thing was that I learned some Vietnamese for the event and our waitress was Chinese and didn't know what I was saying. Oh well.

We talked about what next month would be. I liked the Peruvian idea the best.

Sex & Love

I'm not quite sure what a stripper smells like. I only met one at my bachelor party and I wasn't that impressed. All I remember was the giant face of Jesus on her shoulder which as every guy knows makes you hotter than the sun. However I can't remember what she smells like which is probably a good thing since I would only remember a bad smell after all these years.

One thing I was realizing last night was that I haven't gotten much love back from the women I've dated. My ex was good with it for the first year of dating, but it had decreased a lot by the time we married. Don't even ask. The only other woman was Aroma girl who helped me heal a lot after my divorce. Not quite sure where I'm going with this, but as I look out there for women to date I need to make sure this is in the mix. I can easily fall back into I'm use to not much so it's okay. However it's no longer okay with me. Also I have to watch out that I don't fall for just a pretty face.

Retiring My Guns

I was very happy to finally have my Treo phone arrive. After many attempts to purchase one on Ebay to save a fortune I finally won one. Hell it was easier changing phones that it was getting the new phone I got 2 months ago. I'm still getting use to the thing, but is nice having everything in one item. Usually I have a cell phone and a Palm strapped to my belt. One on each side like a cowboy. It was really weird this morning not to have something on the other side. Their was a moment of panic when I did my last minute check before I went out the door this morning.
On the other side of the street. I visited my Mom this morning since I was away over the weekend. She was napping when I arrived so I know that never helps, but she really is becoming a lump on a log. At least it was beautiful outside to sit with her.
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