Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Now Back to Reality

Well I went over to the Planner's house last night. I brought my gym bag with me just in case it turned into a sleep over. The other were condoms since I know they aren't going to survive in the heat of my car. So it was weird asking to keep them at her place. I have to admit sex last week was kind of a speed bump in our relationship.

The Planner has never been married, been burned in a few relationships, and has been single for a long time. So she is swinging in and out with closeness. For me sex is a step closer when your ready for it. I don't think she is.

When I got to her house I had to wait for her. I get anxious waiting for women. It's a childhood thing of never knowing how my Mom would be when she came in the door. Most of the time she was nice, but every once in a while it was a beating. So it's a little work for me to stay calm. So seeing angry when she got there didn't help.

The Planner was upset that someone had busted her mirror on her car yesterday. It seemed to consume her a bit which was weird. So when we sat down for dinner she was down the table from me. I could see she was going through a lot of anger so I let her vent.

We finally actually played Pente the game. With strategy games I'm pretty intense player. I don't care if I win or lose. I just like to be challenged. After beating her solidly many times I was wondering if I should let her win, but that just didn't seem right. The Planner became annoyed and started to focus more and the she started beating me naturally so it was fun.

Now I have to say going from sex one night to letting me kiss her on the cheek is weird for me, but that was the flavor of the night. We both grabbed showers and relaxed on her bed to watch TV. Her stomach had been bothering her all night so she had a difficult time falling to sleep. I did find out the Planner doesn't like someone touching while she's sleeping. Actually having someone in the bed is just behind that. For me I instinctually gravitate to the pleasant smelling warm body. She said I did it a lot. All I remember at some point was her rolling me away from her. Oh well.

She was a little off this morning with having someone in her bed all night and I think in her space first thing in the morning. She bought me breakfast and we talked. She asked many questions like where do I see myself 5 years from now, renting, owning? Marriage, dating, being single. She hinted around my salary. What I could do for her? We are so yin and yang its too funny. Besides a more successful business I really didn't have a five year plan. I would have more money and make the decision then. I would like to me married again, but not fathering any more kids. For her, it would be grounding and support. Something she already feels.

I see the Planner really wanting to stay out of any vulnerability in a relationship. I was going to discuss it with her, but I could tell it wasn't going to be a good time. However that would be a BIG limiting factor and something that would be a deal breaker for me. She seems to only accept PDA's at certain times and the kissing her cheek when I left this morning. Just makes me wonder.

I'm not quite sure if she's ready to add someone into her life. She's very good till I'm there. It may just be in her house. So I have to push a few issues now. Is this a relationship I see potential with or not? Many limiting issues are starting to appear. It will all depend on her choices to see where we go.

2 people had cathartic therapy:

ick...that is a reality check! It is hard letting someone occupy your time and space...I'm an expert at this. I'm good for about 90 days and then I start to ask, "Why the F... are you still here?"

You seem to have differences in basic intimacy-you like it-she doesn't. That's a biggie! and it probably won't go away. Sorry


Boy Mike, this is hitting way too close to home for me.
I had a fabulous sleep over Sat night, then he didn't even kiss me on Sun night. I've felt confused and weird ever since....

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