The Agenda

Kind of focusing on my landlord at the moment. Doing some research revealed why they were checking his throat first since that would give his life expectancy. It will all depend on how bad that is. I'll tell him tonight I'll do the care taking of the house for him. We'll see how it all goes from there. I'm not looking forward to moving anytime soon.

Asp has started her drive back from Florida and she'll stay in Savannah tonight before coming home tomorrow. I'm happy they're stopping since it's a long haul to do all at once. I would like to see her again all in one piece. We're hoping to see each other tomorrow night. The biggest talk between her, Saturn girl, and myself is about the Photographer. It's her birthday today and I went to her FB page to leave a message and I saw that she was now in a relationship. Being nosy I checked. I'm looking at the guy's picture and he looks young, real young. So I check and he's the same age as her son. He wasn't happy when she was dating Game boy who was in his early 30's. So someone 23 years younger than herself is going to cause some problems.

I see old man winter has arrived here. It's in the forties here today and yesterday we had hail. WTF? I was driving and I heard this sound and wondered what it was. Then I saw it bouncing off the windshield. It would be cold for tonight's Christmas parade here in town. Hopefully they are timely since the parade is pretty short. Afterwards the singles and I will wander the fountain area then grab some dinner. However before all that starts L and I are going for our weekly hike. Hopefully it's not too bad down at the beach.

A Bumpy Day

It was a bit of a bumpy day for me. The good was that I found the oil leak in my car. It turned out that rubber band in the box was the gasket. Mystery solved and that made me very happy.

I finally decided to take my Mom's TV out of her place. It's way larger than mine and she never uses it. I tell you this kicked my ass. While I know my Mom isn't going to get any better. I guess it was sort of a little lie in the back of my head that as long as the TV was there things had some normalcy. I almost didn't take it today since it was upsetting, but the moving cart was right at the entrance which it is never there. So I knew I would kick myself for not taking it and have to do it again at another time without the cart. Now that it's at my place it's nice having a big TV again. When I got divorced I gave my ex the big TV for Eric and I kept the 19". I don't know if he ever got to use it or she kept it in her room.

Game night went well and we had many new people there. The bumpiness came at the end. The Photographer was there and some of the new girls were asking her questions. Some about the group, Game boy, and life. It was weird sitting there listing to it all. Halloween is coming up and we were dating at this time last year. A mutual friend might have her Halloween party again and we both went to that as a couple. So it was weird for her to talk all about this and not mention me. She would look over at me and I'm not saying I wanted her to say anything. It was just strange. The other was about her relationship with Game boy which again was interesting since she dated me at the same time since she wanted the relationship with me for a while. However I had been dating the Planner. Anyway she had ended it with Game boy a few months ago since she now wants a more serious relationship. Again I wasn't looking for her to share any of this information, but there's this whole sub story of us in there. I don't know if her looking at me to see if I wanted her to share or what. All I can say is it was just strange.

Playing Those Mind Games

I swear my ex girlfriends are fucking with my mind. While I've come to a point of serenity with L she still does and say things to make me wonder if she wants to get back together again. Like I've stated before I think she doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me.

At our Happy Hour tonight the Photographer was there. She hung out next to me and wondered what was up with this L. I told her our history and what was going on. The Photographer said that she comments on everything of mine like she's dating me. So I told her my theory and in her usual way she told me to tell L to back off. Throughout the evening I'm trying to pick up hints if her and Game boy are still together. It's just a theory of mine and I was looking for confirmation. I never really got it. All the information would fit on both sides of the chart. The really weird thing is that she leaned over and kissed me on the check out of the blue. Not once, but twice. WTF? Again I'm not looking to date her, but I wasn't the instigator in the breakups so I still have a torch for her too.

Who else is going to start sending me mixed messages next? I know it won't be Inverse who I saw there tonight since she works there. The interesting thing is I know what she wants and I'm truly not interested in her. It's weird. She's very attractive, but it doesn't do anything for me.

Game Night

Woohoo. I finally got to play at the geek's table last night. Saturday game nights are usually very well attended so we have to split into groups. Usually its Game boy and myself heading the groups. However last night Server guy spoke up and took the group to another table. He took my normal traditional route of games. So I got to play some of Game Boy's games which are reminiscent of my gamer days. While the geek table is never the loud laughter table is was a lot of fun. Actually between Saturn girl and a new girl at the other table they were loud as hell and drawing a lot of stares. On a side note I think the Photographer and Game boy have broken up.

Today there having an Earth day celebration at the local park. So between the singles and my patients, we'll be attending the event. I heard it was a lot of fun last year. They keep saying it's going to rain, but still sunny. So we'll see.

Nugget of Triumph

Tech girl met me at my place for our date. I'm so use to going to there places that it's a little weird when women come to my place. So I showed her around and then we settled down to talk. I was massaging her feet when she dropped a huge, juicy piece of information. You see the Photographer and Tech girl are in another Meetup group together. They had dinner together Thursday night. I had wondered if they would talk, but didn't worry since it was the past. If became a problem then a red flag would be raised. Anyway the Photogarpher has a blurting issue so she asked Tech girl if I had told her that we had dated. ???? Whatever. So she wanted to make sure that Tech girl knew the problem with me. Any guesses? Should I wait till the next entry?

The reason she dumped me was that I was too nice of a guy. She couldn't deal with it. That's why she likes Gameboy. There's no real commitment, he's a bit of an ass, and if he ever had her meet his kids she would bail. Her words not mine. My day was made. You don't usually get this kind of prize with and ex and I savored it. Tech girl said she spent a bit of time explaining to the Photographer that me being a nice guy was a good thing and that she was looking for something more meaningful than a bit of an ass. LMAO.

Tech girl had a bunch of gift cards to PF Changs so she took me there for lunch where we enjoyed their lettuce wraps and wok seared lamb. Both very yummy. We did some picking around the remnants of Linen & Things, but it was pretty much picked clean. Then with full bellies we headed back to my place for a nap.

Our talk to hold off on sex went right out the window. It's been a while since I've been with a woman that is as sexual as I am or more so. I was pleasantly surprised and quite a change from what I'm use to. We were a little late to game night.

Afterwards we stopped at Wendy's for some fries since Tech girl had a craving for them. Then back to my place to watch Somethings Gotta Give which she had never seen before. Not quite sure how much of it she saw this time. By the time everything was done and over with it was late so I had someone to snuggle with for the night. After the Planner and her sleeping habits it was nice to hold someone close while sleeping. The only bad thing was the 6 am wake up for Tech girl to go to church. At least she made it out of here by 7:30.

The truly funny thing I hear from you ladies is not farting in front of the guys you are with and having abdominal issues when they leave. Boy did I have that this morning. I didn't think I farted that much during the night. Oh well learn something new every day.

No More Lonely Nights

Thanksgiving day was nice and I was enjoying myself to about 4 o'clock. As it started to get dark the realization of being alone really sunk in for some reason. It really pulled me down to a point even I was surprised.

The funny thing that pulled me back up was the realization I could have asked 3 different women out yesterday. With my head on straight I was able to think of away to solve my dilemma. I knew that Saturn girl was free today since she had Thanksgiving last weekend when relatives visited. So I emailed her to see if she was around and if she wanted to get together to play some boardgames which I knew she enjoyed. I got a response after a while saying she was up for it, but she just needed to drop some soup off at her daughter's house who was sick. So I grabbed some games and headed on over.

She lives in the same complex as CPA girl. It was almost deja-vu walking in the place since it's the same set up. It was a fun evening talking and playing games. I found out we have a lot in common like both our favorite shows is Two and Half Men. There were other things that I was surprised.

She did ask if I knew how the Photographer was doing. I told her I hadn't talked to her in a week and that she had been dating Gameboy for awhile. Since we had gone to the Halloween party together she probably thought we were still together.

I never got any vibe from her that she was feeling any chemistry for me. So the Laws of Attraction still puzzle me. While it was a really fun night, lots in common, the chemistry was very low. Hey this is just like CPA girl, maybe it's the complex. On the other side of the fence I had the Destroyer yesterday that I had to bite my tongue not to ask her out. There doesn't seem like anyway to tip the odds in my favor.

Back in the Saddle Again

It was great to have my mojo back this afternoon and be very creative with my business. Even the tedious work of re-entering all my data in a new database was fun. So I'm happy to be out of my slump and moving forward again.

I talked with MK lady today about how she is successful. She went over the different things she does with her clients which are women which is very helpful to me. She pointed out that women choose and buy on feelings. She also pointed out what good qualities I already had in place at the office that were women friendly like not being pushy. I was surprised that she was the second one this week that loved that I answered the phone.

Game night was okay tonight. Everyone was tired, but fun was still had. It was awkward with the Photographer and Game boy. I knew she would arrive with him and that their was no way that she was arriving by herself. Game boy was more quiet than usual so he was hard to read. The Photographer was pretty much the same as normal, but it was difficult to see her with someone else. I still have that attraction for her so that was a difficult pill to swallow. The other is that she is the most energetic person so my focus does gravitate to her which increased the feelings. The good thing I won't be seeing her for a while.

Life in Pictures

Since I was thinking about Game night tomorrow and interacting with the Photographer and I guess Game boy. However he's probably clueless of what happened. So I was thinking it may be awkward tomorrow night, but then I remembered I didn't do anything wrong which brings me back to lets be friends comment. My translation: "please don't think bad of me cause I'm doing a shitty thing to you." So I'm good with it now.

Good, Bad. It Doesn't Matter I'm the Guy with the Gun

When I have strong emotions sex is my drug of choice. It doesn't matter whether it's a "bad" or "good" emotion. It just needs to be strong. When I was growing up my feelings were regularly invalidated so I saw no need to have them so I stuffed them. So bumps in the road are major to me.

So a really awesome weekend with Eric coupled with the sadness about being parted hit me hard. So I'm wanting a woman today. I'm wanting sex. It was funny at my business meeting this morning. I gave them my target market since most people are amazed that I have an 80% female client base. They turned it into a single's profile of what I'm looking for.

I'm looking forward to the new James Bond movie tonight with the singles. However I have a little trepidation on tomorrow's Game night. The Photographer and Game Boy who she's dating will be there. So I'm imagining it being a little awkward, but who knows? The good thing is that a lot of people have signed up so we could be in different groups.

My birthday sushi outing has low attendance next week. I was actually dreading it since the only person who had signed up was this older guy who just never STFU. I mean he could talk to himself in an empty room. At least now someone else has signed up and hopefully more will.

Day 1

I went out with the Singles last night to see Burn After Reading. It was a really good movie, but not a feel good movie so please keep that in mind. I was happy to get out and be with people although I had a hard time being social. Sadness was pretty heavy on my heart.

So I'm going through my grieving process and this morning I have some anger. The Photographer told me she was going back to Game boy who she never officially broke up with. While I agree full chemistry wasn't there for us their was a lot of new stuff that I hadn't experienced before. She has a really good level of communication and physical interaction combined with that really incredible feeling of safety made it very interesting for me. I agree it probably wouldn't have gone all the way for me, but there were things I wanted to experience and learn more of. If Game boy wasn't around I think that would have happened. However when your not the dumper you are usually not in the place you think you are.

So this is day 1 of 41 days of not dating. I think that's how many more days till the end of the year. I have the singles to stay social which will help. However it's going to take a few days to get over not dating anyone to just take the pain away. I KNOW that's a bad way to be, but its in my head.

Virginia Beach 23455

I talked to Eric today to find out how his Halloween was. You should of heard the sound in his voice at how much candy he must of collected. It was great. I was happy he fun and was able to go around with friends. I remember that from when I was young and it was a great feeling. Hopefully my ex won't all his candy on him.

Eric has moved on from Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh cards and onto Tops baseball cards. I was wondering if the day would come. Since I'm not a sports fan the previous two types were much more up my alley. So I'll start including baseball cards with my weekly letter.

When I first took over the organizer position of the Singles group I was dating Law girl. It was a move to take care of myself instead of catering to someone else which worked out well since she dumped me a few weeks later. I've always pushed it as an activities group instead of a dating pool although the Photographer is the third woman I've dated from our group. At times I feel like our group is becoming a Beverly Hills 90210. Never really watched the show, but my ex did. The thing that always stood out was the incestial like dating between them all. I bring this up since the first person I went out from the group was the Florist. She was a headcase and it was only one date.

Gameboy dated her for a while afterwards. Then afterwards dated the Stylist. Recently he started seeing the Photographer. It never really got off the ground because they didn't see each other that often. So the Photographer said last night that she needed to make sure the Gameboy knew it was over. I feel bad with this. I probably should feel good that I've been chosen over another, but I think its my low self esteem rearing its ugly head that I'm not worthy enough. It's all crap, but I need to say it all to make it go away.