Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

The Balancing Carrot

German girl made a point that I had been thinking about over the last few weeks. Am I picking too independent women? When I was younger my Dad was always my bad example. The smoking, drinking, and other personality defects were things that I steered as far away as I could. However as I got older I mellowed my hard line stance with things. People drinking around me no longer bother me for example. When I divorced my ex I wanted nothing to do with her dependant ways. So I think I did the same thing with going to the other extreme. Independence and assertiveness have become very attractive to me. So like many things in my life I need to install a dimmer switch so I can modify how I do things. Not too bright, not too dim. As always a work in progress.

I do want to thank everyone for their views on me talking to Eric about dating. In the past I've not done it since no one ever pasted the 6 month point. However as he does get older he should know for many reasons. One as many you pointed out, he will be dating. The other is that he always has a curiosity when there is a female connection to me. So I will start the conversation up when he visits in a few weeks to lay the ground work. Then I can keep him updated as things happen.

I tell you the one thing I do miss about Kitcat. No it's not sex, but I do miss that too. It's the carrot to do better. When I was with her it was the first time in a long time I wanted to have things better in my life so I could have more time with her. Everyone needs a carrot to motivate them to do things. I tell you I can't do it for myself beyond mediocrity. Eric is not with me anymore and the distance doesn't help. So I now find myself back in the quandary of what do I use as a motivation. A better life for myself just doesn't do it for some reason. Most likely it's my sub standards for myself. Any suggestions? What do you use to motivate yourself to better things?

6 people had cathartic therapy:

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I can relate to the notion of an external motivation to have yourself do better. In fact, if I choose to do it solely for myself, I'm not all that interested.

Having others involved in it with me, either as participants or as part of how I define the goal is absolutely essential.

I've found that others have a deeper appreciation of who I am and what I can be than I do. Over time, I've learned to trust that. Rising to the occasion can be a good thing.

 

Mike. You're overthinking this thing. You need to be who you are! You don't have to change or be a certain way for anyone. Just do the things you have to and then do the things you love. Someone will show up or not. Quit looking. They will find you if it is meant to be. Just be open within yourself. Feel good about yourself and women will pick up on that. Don't try to be someone you aren't. You are the best you there is. Kisses.

 

Yah...what middle child said!

Oh, and don't wear jean shorts or Crocs. Chicks don't dig that.

 

How about the thought of having it so that when the next person comes along the time is already there to give.

 

Well, there will be someone new, so why not be a better person for that next person Better yet, why not be motivated to be a good role model for your son. Or hell, how about for yourself?

 
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