Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

I'm Only a Bill

Today was one of those days I'm tired of all the bills. Every time I feel I'm starting to make some headway something happens and the weight of the bills becomes heavier. I'm never ahead and I'm not use to that. For all of my life everything was paid. It might have been rough, but everything got paid. Nowadays it's like a merry go round of paying things off. If it comes around and the money is there it gets paid, if not it gets paid the next go around. It's become a new and weird way of living. The truly bad part about it is that I become pessimistic. Everything unknown is envisioned as a hardship instead of a gift and I don't like that. I've lived that life and it didn't do me any favors. So when those traits rear there ugly heads I get worried. However in this economy I don't see anything changing soon.

3 people had cathartic therapy:

You say that everything's always been paid all your life.

When did things start changing for you ?

I know the feeling. I've been debt for a while, so I understand how it can take it's toll on you.

I hope that business gets better for you. You'd be surprised how the universe can shift right back on you.

Good luck.


I'd not read your journal on AOL for quite some time, but previous, when I did read, I remember your having a second job, and I imagine that helped a lot, but I thought perhaps the reason you didn't have one now was because the business was more profitable, making a second job unnecessary. I can certainly understand wanting to grow your business rather than seeking outside employ again, but maybe that(second job) would actually be less stressful than the bills. ~Mary


Senorita - back when I was married and had high paying job. The only problem is that I had an ex that spent it all.

Mary - I've actually been looking for a second job, but with the unemployment rate it's difficult to find anything that's not minimum wage.

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