Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Pool Update

I can't believe I forgot this. As I stated before none of us were any good at playing pool. So hitting in each others balls was common place. I did put my foot in my mouth when one of the ladies knocked one of my balls in and I stated that she could play with my balls anytime. I realized what I had said just as everyone burst out laughing.

Rainy Saturday

Pool was on the menu today for the singles. We had some newbies show up which was great. It was nice to see that they got it, and wanted to be social, and make friends. It was also great that we were all at the same skill level which really isn't saying much. While impressive pool shots were not the norm, although I did lob a ball about 2 feet across the table. With the rain the place was packed with people looking for something to do. It's a big sports place so college hoops was also taking many peoples attention.
I see to be having a surge of new friends on Facebook. I even picked up L as a friend. She was a good person to talk to while we wee dating so small talk now a days is fun. I can't believe it was 2 years ago that we were dating.
German girl thinks my ex is getting some and that's why she's in a nicer mood to me. I don't know, but I'm just enjoying the time.

Bouncing Around

Did I ever tell you how much I love the weather down here. Yesterday it was 70 degrees and Monday they're calling for snow. The weather is like a car ride here with it just quickly passing you by to be replaced by something totally new.

With the change in energy here new patients are calling wanting to come in instead of present patients calling to cancel/reschedule. I feel back in the swing of things and I need to get back to where I was a week and a half ago. It's funny, the job is pretty uncaring to what happens in your life.

On the home front, Inverse has pulled back a little on her conquest of me. She invited me to watch Max Paine the other night. I made about 30 minutes before I said I had seen enough. Honestly we haven't seen much of each other so it's a good thing.

I am hearing from some of the members that are talking to the people that never come. There seems to be this big disappointment that it's not a hook up group. What's funny is I tell everyone in the description that it's not, but people keep hoping I guess. No real problem to me since the people that support the group know that it's a social group and they like it that way.

Oh many people asked. The blond a few entries back wasn't the Model. That was a link to her portfolio.

F*ck You and All Your Chickens!

Well I got the invite for the big event next week. I have one question. What the hell is classy casual or tropical dress up? To me they sound like fruity drinks not the attire I'm suppose to be wearing. Any suggestions ladies?

{The title is my new best phrase from the new Foamy cartoon.}

Nosing Around

For some reason everyone in my chiropractic class seems to be getting on the Facebook band wagon and adding me as a friend. Some people I'm happy to see again while others I'm surprised they have asked.

All of this has gotten me curious to see what's happened to some of the women I've dated over the years. The funny thing is how fast I forget full names. Many of my former dates have found someone in that they are in a relationship or engaged which was nice to see. It was a pretty even split in how much some have changed and others not in the looks department over the past few years.

I did find a girl I was infatuated when I was in grade school. She still had certain features I could pick out, but I have to admit the years hadn't been kind. The interesting thing is that most of my friends from over the years I couldn't find. I didn't want the relationships anymore, but I did have a curiosity to see what they were up to.

Business wise I'm slowly moving up the ladder of higher quality relationships. I network a lot and it allows me to produce a lot for others. I'm still trying to find the ones that can produce for me. For most, they're happy to receive, but creating business for me is beyond them. I'm happy to have advocators for me. However being a creator really creates a lot of business. I have the talent and other benefit from it, now it's just finding so I can benefit. One of my new alliances gave me a free invitation to a big Diabetes gala next weekend. The tickets cost $150 so I was very thankful. However I'm already starting to feel under dressed. I don't know if my closet goes that deep. The interesting thing will be to see how game night with the singles goes without me.


Well my brother was able to take care of the down payment for our Mom and I'll take care of the monthly payments. Something for which I'm extremely happy. With this going on all week it has consumed my focus and the business has been stalling. Now as soon as this problem became unblocked everything is flowing nicely. I had a great meeting with a home inspector. Great guy I think I can do great business with.

I felt really bad, but I was eating lunch and doing paperwork at my desk. No one was expected, but a new patient walked in. I felt like a bum with all my papers strewn around as I was talking care of business. Oh well.

I have to admit when I want to date again I should go back to the fireplace Starbucks. It's where I had my meeting today. There's a bevy of attractive women walking in and out of there.

So now with my business focus back I can get everything ready for next week.

Counter Offer

Well I finally heard back from my Mom's place about my offer. There's was higher, but at least half of their original offer. So my brother and I are trying to come up with the money by next Friday. I'll know what he can do in a couple of days. So I'm praying.

Today I also sent out my accounts out to collections. I hate having to pay 30% to get my own money, but it doesn't seem to becoming any other way. At least I had most identifying information on my one patient that stole from me. The other is an insurance company and I had it confirmed from an attorney today that the industry has really clamped down on making payments.

I know I'm going to need to make some cuts this week. Since it's just me I might drop my health insurance again for a while. It's too big a chunk out of my pay at the moment. I live pretty frugal otherwise so it's hard to trim the fat.

Married Defined

Well I'm happy to hear that my confusion spread to all of you out there with the model. I'm not quite sure what I can add on the marriage part. Yes the Model is married, ring, no kids. Military guy I believe.

I don't know what else to say? I know she wanted to get me on her table for the facial. That desire I could see. The smile and secret wink I've gotten before from married women and I wasn't expecting it yesterday. Especially in a business meeting and in front of her friend. If it becomes a problem I'll let the business relationship go. I'm not quite sure what other information you would like from me.

Here is the Model if you like.

Models? Sure I'll Look at Models

You know sometimes I love women so much I hate them. LOL. I met the Model today for lunch. Our target markets are the same so I asked a mutual friend to set it up. We were suppose to meet as a trio for the Model, but she agreed at the end to meet me alone. Now she's not a drop dead gorgeous beauty. She's attractive, but her real beauty comes from her personality. We were all over the place with the conversation and my usual routine was discarded, but it was a very fun time. Our mutual friend did join us near the end.

Now I'm very happy that the model is married cause it saved my sanity. So when the friend joined us we were all talking and every time I looked over at the model and she would meet my gaze she would smile and wink. I don't think you women realize what this starts up in a man's mind. If you're not going to drive the car don't even pick up the keys.

Anyway the Model was very eager to get me on her table for a facial so next week I'm going to try out some of her handiwork. Also she'll be coming to see me to see how I stack up.

I actually chose this picture because this reminded me of the business meeting with another woman yesterday. She had some tattoo on her left breast. Somehow her outfit just showed it off to the world.


Still waiting to hear from my Mom's place about my other payment plan option. It will still be rough, but more doable.

I'm still upset about the patient that took the insurance money and ran. Part of the problem is that I had the feeling it would happen. However I didn't listen to my gut and went with how good a patient she was, referred her family and others. I guess this is why I should stay to my systems. I did learn how to avoid this for next time so that's one good thing. I will be in talks today with a collector to get this money and the insurance money. I can't believe I'm paying money to get my money. Irony at it's best.

This week with everything going on it's easy not to think about dating. However I do have a lunch meeting with a model to talk business. It's funny I went to her website to see her business. I tell you I know all her measurements, but nothing else it's so weird.

The Ups & Downs

I talked with my brother this morning about borrowing money. He was very nice about it, but doesn't have it at the moment. However I felt a lot of love that I never felt before which was great for me. We are working with my Mom's place on a different payment plan of less big lump and bigger monthly payments so that it will still be paid off in 8 months. I'm still waiting to hear back from them.

Another one of my patients took the money and ran. She got her accident settlement and left state. I do have her address there and I sent a remittance letter last week, but I got confirmation today that she already got the money. Now I'm just waiting to hear when she got it. Over 2k that I really need.

The good news is I spoke to a collection agent guy who was recommended to me. I liked him and will use him on this and another account which is over 3k. It was a good day sign wise since I was in my business meeting this morning and our insurance guy told us that USAA closed down there huge office here. That spells bad news since we have the largest Navy base in the world here. I say this because this is the insurance company I've been waiting a year for my money from. So for 30% of what he can get he'll get it for me. At this point something is better than nothing which is what it's looking like.

So the moral of the story is if everyone just paid like they were suppose to it would all work out.

Weekend Tidbits

It was good for Eric to see family bonding. He was not use to sitting as a family and eating dinner. It's one of the things I love about living with the landlord. The family meal is such an important part of bonding and studies have shown how it helps kids.

Eric did state that he wanted to stay with me and not go home to his mom. I didn't press it since I knew he wanted longer time with me. However the liberties he has with his mom don't go over very well with me. Like cleaning up after himself, chores, etc.

He enjoy the book I got him about sex. We read some of it and I answered whatever questions he had. I was surprised I learned a few things. Mostly the actual sizes of internal sexual organs. The Day my Butt Went Psycho went over very well also. I read that to him. He does regress when he's around me and we have quiet time. He just curls up in my lap and sucks his thumb something he never ever does. His need for that security that he has with me is duel edged. While I'm very touched I also worry that something will go wrong since he's missing something.

My ex was very genuine when she dropped off Eric. I gave her a hug since she looked so frazzled from being lost. She gave me one when I dropped Eric off. I take it as a gift and hope it lasts for a long time.

The Meeting

Well the meeting went. At this point now I'm going to need to ask my brother to borrow some money to pay the amount that is missing. With that paid everything goes back to normal. I don't enjoy asking for the bailout and I'm angry that my money to pay this back is still being held by the insurance companies. My prayer is that he can help. So I'll call him tonight to talk about it.

One thing that I have realized through all of this is that I don't miss any of this chaos in my life. However I do realized why I can be drawn to it at times. It use to be my life from the time I was born. Instability was the norm and changes were always life altering. It's why I have that little voice in the back of my head that want to throw a monkey wrench into things for no other reason than to cause problems. It was interesting to talk to a friend years ago and find out he had the same voice.

I'm Back

A snafu with my old laptop stopped me from blogging over the weekend. The trip went very well with no real problems. On the way up it was towing the speed limit since cops were every where. On the way back I nearly stopped to spend the night someplace since I was that tired, but after a stop and a bite to eat I was good to go.

My ex got lost again bringing Eric over to my brother's house, but she seemed genuinely interested in helping so I was grateful for it. Hopefully this new turned leaf for her will continue.
The weekend was lots of fun. Eric's only complaint was that when we are at my friend Paul's place he has me all to himself and at my brother's he has to share me at times. So I felt for him. We had fun in and outdoors and I had to save him from falling into a lake on Saturday. While Eric didn't grow taller, he sure did mature.

For me it was a good vacation in that it reminded me I'm not alone in the world. As things get tough for me I can still drop back to that age old thought pattern of me against the world. It was nice to be around family this weekend and have that removed for a while.
Today I have the meeting with my Mom's caregivers to see if we can work everything out or do I have to move her to a new facility. I'm hoping she can stay since it's my mistakes that would cause her to move which I don't like. Wish me luck.

Life Getting Back to Normal

The turkey we had for dinner must have made Inverse very tired. She was doing a lot of stretching and back arching afterwards. Her shirt must of had some elastic qualities in it to not rip from being pulled tight so many times.
Tonight the question was what kind of voice do guys like? Don't be deeper than mine. I have no clue. I know I don't like little girl voices. It was an odd conversation topic.
I think I'm still trying to wrap my mind around having an attractive woman want to have sex with me and not be interested. It does go against the grain for a guy. However I know it's a connection thing. I would have sex with Saturn girl who I saw last night with friends. I think she would too, but for me there isn't enough for a relationship and I really like the friendship. However every time we hangout I think about trying a relationship with her. The thing that stops me is a conversation a few of the singles had last week which revealed many of them just don't know who they are. They've focused so much on their families and being a wife/husband that they no longer have a strong sense of self. I know that feeling since I was there too, but I don't want to be involved with a person still in that place. You really need to be single to learn that lesson.
The flake will be let go especially with everything happening with Mom. I don't have any connection to her and starting on this bad footing is no way to go.
Well pretty much everything is packed for the trip. I'm exhausted and hope I'll sleep better tonight. I'm going to bring my old laptop to try and keep up with everything.

Today in the World of Business

I just finished up with my business coach and it was nice to know that I'm ahead of everyone else in getting it. While others have made bigger leaps and bounds. I've got the routine down to get some stability. My weeks are becoming more predictable which is a good thing. Now I just need to keep doing the same thing for 90% of the work while the other 10% is trying to get better alliances with other health professionals. Most of my alliances now are outside that and a nice faucet of new business would be great if I could find it. I'm hoping to have a constant positive cash flow by the end of next month. Just need a few more visits per week to do it. At the moment I'm making better strategic alliances than I've done in the past which is helping, but I'm still low on the new patient side. Since I don't gouge my patients on visits I need that constant influx of new patients. Now if my larger insurance claims would get paid I would be very good in paying bills off.

Everything is pretty much done for tomorrow's trip. I changed my air filter and made sure my road side service plan was good. Picked up some food for Eric since he's so picky and my brother and family eat very healthy. He'll starve there. The good thing is that I have a car this time and can get us out for food. The funny thing is all my patients remember me breaking down last summer and are wishing me luck.

My Needs ...

This was too funny not to share from Facebook.

This one is easy and fun! Got to Google and type in the search term "[your name] needs" then hit Search. List the first ten that come up:

Mike needs...
  • A date (lol I can't believe that was the first one)
  • A clue
  • Help
  • a kidney
  • reality enhancing drugs
  • A Wee video search
  • update his MySpace pics
  • to calm down
  • tender treatment
  • a heart
Jeez I'm falling apart.

Rough night of sleeping last night. When I'm working my mind is occupied, but during the night it's just a running with my Mom's stuff. Mostly I'm kicking myself in the ass since I knew I needed to call for a month now and I didn't. I shared with enough people about it, but I hate doing it. So now I'm paying the price and hopefully my Mom isn't. So hopefully I'll be in a better place by Monday when the meeting comes.

A Share

One thing you may or may not know is that I hate dealing with my Mom's finances. I hate dealing with my own, but hers is another dimension. While I know working things out is the best thing to do I avoid it like the plague when it comes to it. So it came to a head today. I apologized with all my Mom's agencies and scheduled a sit down Monday to take care of everything. My hope is that they'll take everything off my hands. My Mom gave this job to my brother, but he didn't want it and it fell to me. Ugh.

Who's a Knockin'

There are times when I wish I was a simple person then I could just have sex with Inverse and be done with it. However I know it's not where my life is leading me. It was funny last night when she wouldn't believe that I was 42. She did follow up that younger women like older men.

I still have not mastered the confirmation phone call for meetings. Miscommunication this morning had me in Starbucks early waiting for a meeting that didn't happen and will be rescheduled next week. The interesting thing was that I was in the richer section of the city. This Starbucks has a fireplace. So I parked myself in front of it to read while I waited for my next appointment. An attractive woman did walk in with awesome posture. Hey what can I say I'm a chiropractor. I didn't start talking to her for 2 reasons. One is that I'm trying to hold off dating till the end of the month. The second was a saying I read in I forget whose journal which is so true about wearing sweats is pretty much saying you give up.

I guess life is pushing dating again since when I turned on my computer this morning a woman I was suppose to have Starbucks with last Sunday had left me an email. God I can't remember her nickname, although I might not have given her one since we never met. Anyway she said she had computer issues and was sick. I'm feeling flakedom with her. I responded telling her I would contact her when I get back from NY. I don't like the blow off and disappearing act. Any thoughts?

Tuesday's Not Gone

Inverse worked an extra shift last night so I lost 30 minutes of sleep last night which really means broken sleep. I feel it today as I start to fight a cold.

As I was described in my business meeting as a networking fiend, I continue to pound the business road. Everything is up which is a great thing, but boy do I feel like I'm juggling a lot of plates and I'm waiting for them to come tumbling down. So now a days I'm trying to align with people that work on my level. In my group I usually produce three times as much and I think with this up swing of activity that will jump to 6. It's interesting to see everyone knows what I bring to the table, but no one wants to do it also. I always find it strange that business people don't want to make more money.

I have to admit without dating in my life I do feel like something is missing. Like a car with only 3 wheels. Everything adds together and I feel I'm coming up short now a days.

Did You Ever ...

Did your ex every do something that made you wonder if they were a pod person? This is bigger than lying to my employers. Stranger than stating that I carried around a box cutter and was a menace. More out there than telling child services that I molested our son. (yes these are all true accusations that I had to deal with).

My ex just offered to drive our son to my brother's house. WTF? I mean really WTF? This is the same woman last summer that said no when I asked her to do this when I broke down and couldn't make it to there house. Now she's offering? No complaints on my end since it makes it a lot easier for me. But my ex being nice to me just doesn't compute. This kind of stuff didn't happen when we were married. Wait, now I see the reason pigs are flying.

Dag Holiday

Without Eric around these type of holidays fly right below my radar. I was planning on taking care a bunch of my Mom's stuff today since I had a hole in my schedule. Then I was informed that it was a federal holiday and all that went out the window. Oh well.

My plans to see Eric this weekend have had a change of venue. Usually I stay with my friend Paul, but that's not working out this weekend. So I'm hoping I can stay with my brother and family. It'll be nice for everyone to see each other although I don't know anything about there area.
Belly dancing went well as always last night. Between the food and laughs it was all good. I also will use next month's show for my patients since it's a fund raiser for Diabetes. If you haven't seen Bolt the movie yet, please do. It was great and Disney scored another home run. I have to admit one of the greatest things about it was the pigeons and how the generated them. Think the seagulls in Nemo.

It's a good day in the office with a good mix of patients and meetings. Valentine's decorations came down and St. Patrick's went up. 365 days a year this place is decorated.

Charming Isn't She

Oh I forgot to mention that Charming emailed me the other day. Yes she fell off the face of the earth again after coming to one event in November or December. I'm starting to think she's got this entitlement thing going on. Anyway she wanted to inform me of how busy she's been and that's why she can't make any events.

Actually I'm always surprised when people email me telling me why they can't make events, especially from the people I don't know. I generally don't give a crap why you can't. All I need you to do is RSVP yes or no. No long winded explanations. This isn't my job, nor do I get paid enough to listen to you ramble.

Anyway back to Charming. Her email was asking to have events over in her city so she try to attend. I gave her my standard answer to this kind of request. I don't live in your city and don't know much about it. If you know of something happening let me know and we'll see what can be done. I never hear from anyone after that. People seem to want things done for them instead of taking life by the horns. If this all sounds like I have a bad taste in my mouth, Charming does that to me.

Thank You Aunt Flo

Aunt Flo visited Inverse this weekend so she hasn't verbally in my face. However she's been in a robe for most of the time I've seen her. I take it she has panties on, but I know she's not wearing a bra. A while back Landlord had told me that she wanted a boob job. I was surprised since she fills out her shirts very well. He said it was a padded bra she was wearing. (She informed him). Anyway in her robe outfit I could see the difference. I think she must have a rolled up sock in each one then. She's still trying to catch me in that direct eye contact. When she does I just wiggle my eyebrows and continue on my way.

I never thought I would be doing it, but I increased my cell phone plan to the everything plan. With me making increased phone calls in the office to increase business I doubled my bill with all the extra minutes. I'll be able to surf the web, but no email. I don't need to know what's going on there. Although probably in 6 months I'll be doing that to.

Today I'm off to see Bolt at the bargain house. I wanted to see it since it came out and now I can finally do it. I made it a Singles event, but it looks like I'll be there by myself. Then tonight it's off to the belly dance show. It looks like I have a new crowd coming with me tonight.

Speaking of the singles, I'm seeing a pattern emerging. The ones that complain after I kick them off never rejoin. I don't even know if I'll keep responding to these ass hats or not. The people that rejoin just pay and some will throw in an apology.

What Saturday Brings

Talking with the Landlord and he predicts Inverse will be gone by April 5th. He's starting to see she's more trouble than she's worth. He said he's giving her the standard 3 months to see if she starts turning her life around. I don't see her changing.
It was a nice busy day in the office for a Saturday. I think the busiest. My business coach stopped in to talk a little while today. So we figured since November when I started and my office was at the lowest till now I've increase business by 45%. So I'm happy. Although I know until I have a positive cash flow that is constant then I'll be happy.
I interviewed Yoga girl today. She's in the Singles group and that's how I know her. She gave me a Reiki and a yoga session. I didn't realize how much I missed yoga until we were done. So she's going to rent my extra room. The only problem is that like my massage therapist I'm still supplying clients to them. They're not bringing in business. However I'm happy to have other services to offer my patients.
I finally got the last program uploaded into my phone to sync my Outlook with it better. So I think I'm finally back up to 100% after the virus problem.
Looking at profiles to put up on my other blog. I have to admit instead of finding funny and stupid stuff. I found more profiles that I felt like slashing my wrists after reading. There seems to be a growing unhappiness amongst women daters. For some reason they are writing down in there profiles. Unless they're are going for the sympathy vote I have no clue what the hell they are thinking.

What Does it All Say

Part of all this increased activity at work is keeping all my statistics on where things are coming from, leading indicators, etc. I like it in that I no longer have any mystery in my business of when things are going to go bad. However I have to admit I started with my business coach back in November which was my worse month in a very, very long time. By how this month is going so far I should have doubled my business by the end of the month which was my goal. It's been a lot of work, but worth it. It's nice to see my stats and see that with my increased activity last month that I have tripled my referrals from what received last month and it's only 2 weeks into this month.

What I really need to do is finished finalizing my systems so that I have less to think about as I get busier. I felt very out of control this week as every thing increased. I hate that feeling and don't want to experience it. Most likely next month I'll need to get a virtual assistant to help me with a few things around the office. Data entry can be done by anyone and my time is getting more precious to me.

It's nice to see and end to my struggles I've been having with business.


Okay why didn't anyone tell me about the Starbucks Gold card? I had another business meeting there today and the barista asked my why I didn't have a Gold card since I'm in there more than once a week. I think that was a nice way of saying either buy a card or they have to start charging me rent. I've combined two great things into one this year. Since I like Starbucks, which you may not know. I have all my business meetings there and have a business card to bill it all to. While for tax purposes it's not dollar for dollar it does absorb some of the cost. Now with a gold card I can decrease that expense some more. Woohoo!

Gotta Get Out of This Place

I'm tired today. I agreed to get up for 30 minutes at 2 am this morning so that Inverse's daughter could sleep through the night. It wasn't great, but I'll help out for a 5 year old. Landlord has been Inverse's driver until she gets a new car next week. So he needs to pick her up at 2 am when she gets off of work. The little girl has been wanting to get up to see her mom, but I think its dragging on her.

The bigger news is that said daughter will be gone all weekend and Inverse will be stuck in the house without a car when she's not working. Now all comments up to this time have been made with the daughter standing right there. I shudder to think how this weekend will be. Usually she goes out and tries to get laid at a club, but being home bound her prospects fall to the landlord and me.

I texted Happy girl this morning to see if she is free this weekend for a game of pool, but she is off to Carolina. She suggested next weekend, but I'll be in NY. So it'll have to be sometime in the future.

Where are the White Women At?

Okay this no dating is starting to become boring. While I have to admit I'm a happy single. I do enjoy the chase of dating. So without it this weekend I miss some of the excitement. While work is keeping me very busy during the day. I can only do so much me time. For me it's weird to say, but I enjoy socially interacting with others instead of my alone time. Years ago it would have been the complete opposite. While I still need alone time to recharge and center myself. The amount is getting smaller and smaller. Life just doesn't throw me as much as it use to do. I'm not saying I'm going to give up my not dating for the rest of the month, but I do miss it. I probably will ask Happy girl if she wants to go play pool this weekend. One to have something social to do and if she really meant being friends.

Flurry of Activity

Gone are the days of me sitting around. I feel like I'm on a treadmill and I'm about to be thrown. I'm starting to have meetings coming out of the woodwork. I do have to say that the quality is getting better and I have to put a cap on 2 low level ones/week. While I'm happy to meet everyone and part of my job as an assistant director in BNI is to help teach members I have to remember I come first. My phone calls and meetings come before everyone else which is something hard for me since I'm use to putting myself last.

I have to admit I love when a feel a woman's arms around me while laying in bed. I really enjoy rolling over to kiss her and no one is there. Damn dreams! I had to admit I had to laugh in the middle of the night at what had happened.

Right now besides taking breaks from all my phone calls (note to self to increase phone plan minutes). I'm trying to decide at what point I'm going to start needing help. There's starting to be too much grunt work adding up that I'm putting off because I don't have the time or I'm just tired. The real problem is that I have a lot of increased activity, but the cash flow hasn't increased to compensate for it. So without that I can't do much.

I am looking forward to the Funny Bone tonight with the Singles. Although I'm surprised that it's a really low turnout for the event. Oh well.

Comfortably Numb

After six meeting today with a max of 30 minutes in between them, I'm beat. When I walked into the sixth hoping for a relaxed atmosphere and hopefully some of my friends there. Boy was I wrong. Everyone was standing networking and all the people I was expecting there were no where to be scene. I sat for a moment to catch my wits before grabbing a soda. After I swallow from my stiff drink I met a few people. I got a possible job lead for Inverse and appointment to network Monday and another person I would follow up with.

While it was a good use of my time today since I didn't have any patient appointments it was rough. I think what pushed it over the top was running over to see OVDC for treatment since she's no where near anything that I do. However I needed treatment and didn't want to wait till next week. So I entertained her with more of my dating stories. She wants new ones for next week since she doesn't think I can go the week without dating. We'll see.

I think the other thing that tired me out was doing so much work in the car while I was driving. I may make a phone call or 2, but I had so many calls to make and no time that I was just sitting any place to do it. I have so many phone calls to make tomorrow it's crazy.

The good news is that the contacts I'm meeting are getting better and are closing in on me getting more business. I have to admit my problems are that I was at a low volume already and that I have a lot of debt. In the pass 3 months my business has increased in this economy where most people have dropped. Because I still struggle it's hard for me to see all the progress I've made.

I always have to be thankful for some of the names I give women I meet. I was talking to the Destroyer today. I have to admit she is an attractive woman. Anyway in conversing with her dating does cross my mind until I think "destroyer". I really had to think for a moment about I did give her this nickname for a reason. So then I was able to see all the traits of why I never want to date her. I have a meeting with her in a couple of weeks which I know I'll have to remember this information again. Other than that it's day 3 of no dating.

Welcome to My Parlor Said the Spider to the Fly

So Inverse was in my room last night, smelling of alcohol, showing me naked pictures, and laughing at my, "hi gorgeous." I guess people don't know you can have famous people greet you when you turn on your computer. I have Lyndsey Lohan greeting me and Sarah Jessica Parker telling me I have mail. Anyway Inverse had asked a friend to do her taxes for her online. Not fully trusting her friend, she wanted to check online to see that it was actually done since she needed the money. I have the only computer in the house. The alcohol came from her ex sneaking over yesterday and taking back their car a few days earlier than was agreed on. The problem was that her purse was in the car with all her ID and cash. The ex is now no where to be found. Besides that I got to see naked pictures of this bouncer that wanted to go out with her. I could have done without them.
I feel like doing nothing today. However I have many phone calls to make today to keep the momentum in my office going. Normally this is where I drop the ball, but I know what needs to be done so I can make an informed choice.

On a Roll

After finishing putting Happy girl on my dating chart I see that I'm on a roll. The last 3 women that I went out for more than 1 date I ended it. Before that I hadn't done so since my divorce. Not quite sure what that means, but at least I'm owning what I want in a relationship. I could write a book. I doubt if it would instructional except that one could say at least my dating life isn't that crazy. Maybe I should rename my blog "Going Sane in a Dating World"?

Someone in my business group mentioned I should back off in the group. She said she had the same problem when she stepped down from leadership. Letting go. I know I'm having that problem, plus I'm trained as an assistant director to spot the errors. So I will try and let go in the meeting, but I know I won't be able to take my hands fully off.

I'm pretty happy with myself in not asking anyone out today. Even with running into 2 attractive women today. Maybe I should get a rock and start carving slashes in the wall to mark how many days it's been.

King of the County

Still have my head on straight. For me once I make a good decision and follow through with it my sense of self swells and it helps carry me through. I won't be moving out and if Inverse ups the ante to a incredible point I'll have to get in her face about it not happening. For now I'm getting something out of her wanting me. When it becomes more of a problem than its worth I'll take the bull by the horns and set her straight. The funny thing is that my wallet is probably as empty as hers is.
So what's this day 40 of not dating? Oh it's day 1? Boy it feels longer. I tell you it's a reworking of my thought process to not be in the dating mode. I think it's really going to be some work.


As you probably can guess what's been on my mind the last few hours. Yes it's my Achilles heel: sex. I'm a high moral type of guy when it comes to life and standing my ground. The only area where it always turns to quicksand is sex. If I hadn't seen all the sexual stuff with Happy girl on stage I wouldn't had such a problem letting her go the next day.

So in dealing with Inverse and Senorita's excellent description of "SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO BANG YOU". I remembered something Inverse said about the Landlord (who's almost 70) wanting to do her. The dirty old man thought came to my head. I know to sleep with her will just perpetuate the same dysfunctional cycle that she's in. Yes I know this is heady, but it's better to think with the bigger head than the smaller one. I will continue to be friendly to her and if I can help her in other ways like I would do anyone else I will.

My hope is that she will see that she can fill the void inside of her in other healthy ways than she is doing now. Cause now she is giving me descriptions of women she sees out there that are scantily dressed and using her body to show me what was covered and what wasn't. I guess she's declaring war.

My other hope is that she gets lucky tonight. She went out clubbing again last night and was unsuccessful in getting laid which I truly find hard to believe. Now she's out again in one more attempt to find a man. I just hope she stays safe.

Say What?

You know I really wish I could make this stuff up, but I can't believe this is my life. Anyway I'm just ironing my clothes for the week when Inverse came down. I asked her how she was doing and she told me she had a break down about her ex last night. She then went on to tell me her friend was trying to set a blind date up for her. We small talked that. Then she tells me what she really is looking for is a Friends With Benefits. I will forever be grateful for her daughter running around my feet to refocus my thinking and let the topic just die. Like how do you respond to that?

What Sunday Brings

Game night went very last night in our new location at Panera Bread. The usual problems arose. No one reads the event or the announcements to see that the place had changed. For some reason the address I got off the web was wrong so a few people couldn't find it. Although it was general consensus that if you called information you could have found the place since it was right across the street from our normal Starbucks.
Coffee girl never got back to me with a time so I'm officially on dating hiatus for now. I was good last night at Panera Bread. One of my friends came back to the table that all the girls upfront liked my laugh. They said it sounded like Santa Claus. There are no "ho's" in my laugh so I'm not quite sure what they meant, but that a group of girls wanted to know who I was, was a good thing. However I didn't go up and start any conversations. I'm going to try and not date for the rest of the month. We'll see what happens. Every time I do the women come out of the woodwork.
Since the weather was awesome today, 73 degrees and sunny, I did a impromptu miniature golf event. Only a few others made it, but we had a great time being outdoors. I tell you sitting in the sun afterwards and I was ready for a nap. Still am.
Navy girl wanted me to come play 9 holes with her, but I think I want to start just hitting a bucket of balls before I try playing a game to see if I even like what I'm doing. I felt bad when she got a sad face when I turned her down.
The funny thing was the Photographer was at the Funny Bone when Happy girl and I were there. She was sitting in the back and couldn't see that I was the Mike in question.

Stop Thief!

It's funny how people try to sneak one pass you. Of course I'm talking about the Singles. Most are to lazy to change there picture once they've been kicked off and then try to rejoin which I instantly deny them. However every once in a while someone tries to pull a fast one and change their picture. That's what a woman did today. It was funny I thought her answers to her questions looked familiar so I looked at her history and yep she had one. So that tells me she was kicked off for non-payment.
What's even better is that all the people that complained last week about being terminated and said they were good for it still haven't rejoined. Too funny.
The weather here today is gorgeous. It's almost 60 after being in the 20's 2 days ago. Hey that's how we roll here. Anyway I was happy to bring my Mom outside to get her some sun and fresh air. She seemed to enjoy it. So we were able to relax and soak in the rays after I did her nails and she talked to my brother.

My So Called Life

On the way into work this morning I was thinking of my dating life over the past month and a half. I don't know why I think cause I hear from so many people that they can't meet anyone and I've been going out with a woman a week for a while now. Not saying that's a good thing or bad, but never in a million years would I think that this would be my life. The funny thing is that I don't care if a woman turns me down which I guess is a positive because I know I feel it when I'm turned down in work.

My friend Paul apologized for telling me he laughs every time he thinks of my last few stories. Of Inverse who for many of you that asked is a 25 year old ex stripper (you can hit her tag at the bottom of this entry to find all about her) that lives in the same house as I do. Where I live my Landlord rents out rooms since it's a huge house. Anyway Inverse has set her sites on me and is trying to manipulate me to like her. However I'm very sensitive to that and it doesn't work. Now if she just was normal about it I probably would be dead. A 25 hottie ex stripper coming onto you would be too much for me. The other was Happy girl on all 4's shaking her ass on stage in front of a crowd at the Funny Bone. As well as the lesbian act with another women. At times my life is just way too funny.

I haven't started talking to anyone else this week so if Coffee girl doesn't work out I should be in the clear for a while dating wise. Yes Senorita I do agree that I could use a break, but I have no idea what I would entertain you all week with. OVDC loves my stories each week I see her.

Yes Ada I'm basically a shy guy. Close all your mouths please. While I'm a very open person starting conversations is rough. Over the last few years I know how to overcome it, but it's still a lot of work. That's why things like the convention the other night overwhelm me. For those of you that are shy I'll give you a secret. Host. Yes host stuff. It gives you the reason to talk to people and if you get stuck you can pawn the person on to someone else to go talk to someone else.

Get Your Progams

I avoided playing the game of looking at Happy girl's last text and wondering if it meant anything else. I cut through to the chase in that I wasn't being nurtured in the relationship and I knew it wasn't changing. It didn't matter what she was getting out of it like Tech girl. So after several hours I started to feel normal again.

I took care of all the calls I had forgot to do during the week and got back on the wagon of business focus. With that I tried to stay on the gratitude road with I had enough money to pay to get my computer fixed instead of complaining that bills now need to wait since the money was used for that.

I lucked out tonight at dinner. Inverse was preoccupied with not getting the tax refund she thought she was going to get to focus on me. Hey there is a god.

So what's it been about 10 hours since I goodbye to Happy girl. Well enter Coffee girl. We talked just before Happy girl and I went out last week. I didn't talk to her this week with me seeing how things were going with Happy girl. I hate juggling women. I like the assembly line dating process. You work on what's in front of you then when it's finished you move onto the next. Hey what can I say I like to focus. I like her because she's very jokey and the way she talks about her coffee addiction is a hoot. We're going out Sunday to where else? Starbucks.

Let this be a lesson to all my readers. You miss a day and you'll miss a woman.

Shocked and Stunned. Very Stunned

I was really surprised how much I felt battered after letting Happy girl go. For some reason I guess somewhere I had some expectations. Her being very attractive and sexual probably didn't hurt which is really weird. Since I'm a physical person and she wasn't physical with me.
Inverse will be home tonight with her daughter so it will be a full house for dinner. We've been running on different schedules so we haven't ran into each other. The interesting thing I found this morning was that she was talking to the Landlord in her robe this morning I guess after a shower. She didn't hang around to talk to me. I'm guessing she feels she needs to look a certain way when she's around me. The funny thing is that I would probably connect more with her if she just acted normal instead of trying to manipulate everything.
My computer is up and running normal now. I still need to enter all of January in my Quicken which is going to suck, but I have my bank statement. Every once in a while I find something that just didn't get saved which has no rhyme or reason.

Tonight the Finger, Tomorrow the Fist

That was Happy girl's cry last night to the crowd at the Funny bone at what she was going to do my ass. She was hypnotized at the time. We went out last night. It was a fun time, but I realized that the chemistry between us is very low. Conversation is rough. Happy girl can tell a great story and I enjoy them, but there isn't anything to build on.

Anyway it was J. Medicine Hat last night. I've heard a lot about him, but have never gotten to see him. He's a comic hypnotist. If he ever comes to your area he's well worth seeing. Happy girl had been a volunteer before. She said she wasn't going to last night, but they were low on volunteers so she asked if I would mind. I said no and off she went. Starting with about 20 people he worked his way down to 4 people (3 women and 1 guy). Happy girl being one of them.

Now the comic can't get you to do anything you wouldn't do. He just puts you in a scenario and you react like you normally would. So I got to see how Happy girl would show off her ass and breasts for judges and I say she could give Inverse a run for her money. I also got to see how she would be with a vibrator and as a lesbian. Seeing this stuff does something to your mind.

Anyway the comic asked who she was with and I raised my hand. He asked if she was a wild woman which Happy girl is. So that's how the whole my ass being violated came up. It was suppose to happen after she bit and scratched me all up.

After the show I walked her to her truck and she drove me over to my car. We lightly kissed, but that was it. I knew that there wasn't enough chemistry for me to be happy on the one hand, but the sex thing was heavy in the other hand. However I know that with out the chemistry I never enjoy sex.

So I broke it off this morning. I told her that she would make a great friend and she agreed that she enjoyed my company. Happy girl told me to let her know if I ever wanted to hang out to let her know. So I'll keep her number for that. Whether she really means it or not I don't know. I think that she may have fallen under my nice guy spell. A lot of women I've dated will continue because of that even though there is no chemistry.

On a side note, Navy girl texted me last night to make sure I knew she hadn't forgotten about me and that as soon as it was warm we would golf.

Almost There

I finally got my laptop back last night and spent many hours since then upload, re-installing, and updating everything. It's not going too bad except that I need to restart my computer pretty much after each item which is painful. The biggest problem was that my office program wasn't working. I thought they were going to charge me to fix it, but they showed what to do and it's all fine now.

So I'm recreating the last 4 days into my computer. I'm going to need to recreate the last few weeks for my Quicken file since I thought it had self backed up. Other than that it's working smoothly. I'm just making it stressful with trying to do all of it while I treat patients and do normal office work. My desk is starting not to look like a disaster area with papers and discs all over it.

What's adding to the problem is that I only had 4 hours of sleep. I had to work my business networking convention. 230 people showed up and I helped sign them in. My partner in crime with it dreamed up the scheme of getting 2 business cards from everyone. Since we were stuck there for most of the event it gave us a way to know who was there and contact them afterwards if we wanted to.

To most people's surprise I'm a shy guy. Most people know me as very social and outgoing, but it's not my norm. I work to get there. So I was pretty overwhelmed after four hours of having people in my face. While I was pretty wiped when I got home and feel asleep with no problem. I awoke at 3 am with my mind racing and couldn't fall back to sleep.

So I'm starting to wind down now. I do have a date with Happy girl tonight. I'm taking her to the Funny Bone. Her week has been crazy as her job swings into it's busy season. So we're both looking forward to seeing each other and relaxing. We've been texting and having short conversations with both are crazy schedules this week. It's been nice since we've both made the point of communicating with the other.

Blessed Silence

Yeah right. I'm waiting for Geek Squad to call and tell me I can pick up my computer. It's way to cold to be walking door to door today to drum up business. Without all my info in my old computer I'm just kind of sitting here. This old computer had milk spilled in it so it's temperamental at best, but hey it works. Hopefully some year I'll finish paying DELL off for it.

30 more minutes to my online seminar on rehab for the shoulder. Hopefully it will be entertaining since I'm getting really bored here. Not until later in the afternoon to I have other classes and patients. Whether the computer is back or not life kicks back into gear tomorrow.

I can't tell if it's my imagination or what, but something is going on in Happy girl's head. If you asked me what I couldn't tell you. I'm just very sensitive to any change. Having grown up in a crazy household, sensing what attitudes the grown up were in helped in survival. As an adult it makes me very sensitive in relationships. I can sense the subtle changes in the wind. Right now I'm only going off text messages, but I've come to listen to my gut.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday it was 60 degrees and I was walking on the beach. Today it's in the 30's and sleeting. Got to love Virginia Beach. Really I have no complaints it's always just so interesting how fast and how much the weather changes around here.

Talked and texted with Happy girl yesterday. I'm starting to see some limitations to the conversation. She seems to have her sphere of talking and that's about it. I need to access if she'll go out of that or not cause if she won't this will die pretty damn fast. Today I'm waiting to hear from her when we'll be getting back together again.

Got my taxes back today and I knew I would owe money since I didn't pay anything last year. I was hoping I still had enough roll over from previous years, but it wasn't enough. So I'll be adding that to all the money I owe. Oye.

Still waiting to hear from the Geek Squad about my computer. I really need it back today since it's going to take me a while to load EVERYTHING back into it. Also I have to keep notes on everything I do until I get it back which sucks.

You Know ...

You know I didn't realize how small my old laptop was. I mean I use it at home all the time, but I brought it to work today to try to get a few things done. Sitting on my desk it looks like a toy.

It's a beautiful day and I have nothing to do. I'm going to try and finish up anything I can think of in the office and then get the hell out of here. The problem, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Maybe I'll go miniature golfing. I want to be outdoors since it's so beautiful.

Happy girl hurt her back after dancing Saturday night. So I offered to her to stop by and I'd help her out. She asked how much and I told her not to worry about it. I don't date patients. She may take me up on it and it'll be nice to see her. I'm still waiting to hear whether we'll get together on Tuesday or Thursday this week. Again it's a weird relationship since we talk so much, but we've only met once so I'm having a hard time gauging where we really are.

Inverse's daughter returns today so hopefully that will calm things down on the home front.

Their were two things I didn't backup. Music and pictures. The music kind of sucks, but the pictures are worse. I did lose some of my pictures with Eric and I lost all of the pictures I have for making presentations. The only good thing is that ACT will have been scrubbed from my system and my Outlook should work fine now.

Damn You To Hell!!!

Yes my laptop caught a virus today. I was in Starbucks and went to check updates for my office software when it hit. I know I probably should have run my anti-virus scan right then and there, but I figured since it takes so long I would do it when I got home. Boy was I wrong. It just wouldn't start backup normal. So I ended taking it to the Geek Squad. The first time a round was quick and painless. I just needed to head back to my office to get the recovery disc. No big deal. Now the second time back was a different story. There was a line. When it was my turn the same guy took me even though he didn't really remember which was okay. He was nice gave me my paperwork to fill out and disappeared. Actually he didn't disappear he just kept hiding in the rest of the store. Every time he started to come back he would see the line and make a turn. Let me tell you 20 minutes later I was ready to tackle his ass. However someone else finally helped me and now I'm awaiting the call to come pick it up. The great thing is that I backuped everything yesterday so I just need to load it all back in. I'm hoping they finish tomorrow since it's going to take a while to load all the programs back into the system. Now with no computer and no appointments I'm thinking of taking off tomorrow although I have no idea what to do with myself.

Mixed Drinks

Ah Sundays. I love sleeping in on Sunday mornings especially when it's the only morning I can sleep late. Inverse let me know she was taking a shower this morning. I think afterwards she was walking around without a bra on since she needed to get it out of her car afterwards. It must have been a good show since my Landlord kept looking up from his paper. Unless we're talking I usually don't look at her. I'm very sensitive to being manipulated and automatically counter it.
I see that Happy girl and I can't have any serious texting. It always breaks down to being silly, so I called her and we talked for about 30 minutes before I told her I would call her again tonight. I'm seeing if I don't set the boundary we'll keep on talking and talking. Not that I don't enjoy it, but I do like to pace myself.

I visited my Mom today. Usually I try to avoid her lunch, but no such luck today. It was a bad eating day for her and the assistants were having a hard time getting her to eat anything. She was also more quiet today. She will always say something to my brother on the phone, but nothing today. I'm not quite sure because of all the going ons in the dining room. It's funny since most of the staff don't think she can talk because she doesn't talk to anyone. It's just sad.

Not much going on today. I'm still pondering what I'm going to do tomorrow. I have nothing on the books so I might make it a half day at the office. I might as well enjoy my time when I can.
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