Halloween Stuff

Well it's Halloween at the old homestead and most everyone was in costume. I was tired from getting up early all week and a hike with L so I passed on my second Halloween party tonight. However most everyone was going out to a church party so I took the liberty to take pictures of everyone. Yes this first picture is of the mysterious Inverse as a vampiress.

Here's her daughter Lost as a kitty cat. She was very cute.

Here is Mouth and her brother getting ready to go out and have some fun.

I visited my Mom today and she seemed just about the same as always. She was a little less focused when her mind wasn't occupied. Since it was in the 80's here today I took her out for some fresh air while I did her nails.

While it wasn't sunny today it was nice for my weekly beach hike with L. The rain and high tide the last few days had flattened and hardened the beach for some good walking. When I got home I realized I was not getting back up to go out to a party. Especially since I had no idea who was coming so I could at least get excited to so someone. A week of getting up early from new noises in the house and the beach hike had did me in. So it's been a night of getting some housework done.

Happy Halloween

It was all quiet on the western front this morning when I came downstairs to grab breakfast before heading out the door. As it stands for all crazy people you can only keep the act up for so long. Since I wasn't home for family dinner the first few nights the landlord updated me about Inverse's praise for having a family meal together. By the next night Dancing with Stars was more important. Last night it was some sexual innuendo which the landlord put a stop to real fast with the kids there. What was funny was that Enigma made sure I was back in my normal seat and she was between Inverse and myself. No clue why.

Today was the annual Halloween kiddie parade here in the business park. We have a nursery school next to the lot. So they do a walk through for the kids to get candy which really just the grown ups corralling the kids through here since most have no clue what's going on. I was prepared this year. The adults asked for free treatment so I had coupons for them so we'll see what happens with that.

Due to the weather last night, L and I rescheduled our hike till tomorrow. It's suppose to be 83. It's Halloween! WTF. Now I'm not really complaining. I'll be walking on the beach the last day of October in shorts. However it will be hot for the munchkins trick or treating. Now times have changed since I was a kid. Back then Saturdays were the holiest of the Halloween days. You could trick or treatall day long. Go back to houses 5 times and have a truck load of loot to devour at the end of the day. Nowadays or at least here they have it restricted from 6-8 pm. Sorry kiddies it's not like the old days.

Surprise ... Surprise ... Surprise

Well look at the calender. It's Day 4 of the Inverse campaign and the landlord is already threatening to throw her out. I've looked into Inverse's eyes and I know she's not going to change anytime soon. Tonight's madness was brought to you by the letter "A" for absent mother. It may surprise you to learn that Inverse is not mother of the year material. It's the last school day of October tomorrow and as usual Lost (Inverse's daughter) is way behind in her reading since Inverse doesn't help her with her homework. So tonight was the big push to finish catching up. Mouth actually volunteered to help her and it was nice to watch the two little girls working together. Inverse had asked to use my computer to look at her Myspace page. I said sure and told her she could use it later when she was finished. However she shot right upstairs to use it leaving her daughter alone with Mouth to do homework. The landlord was upset that a 7 year old was doing Inverse's job. It went downhill from there since Inverse didn't see anything wrong. These are the times that she looses all attractiveness. When you don't care about your kid, I don't care about you either.

Welcome to my web

When I grew up it was just my Mom and me. Occasionally my middle brother would be around to join us, but that's what happens when there is a 4 year gap. So it's a treat for me to sit around a table with a lot of people. We now number 7 around the table with 3 of them being children. It's fun to joke around and talk.

I see Inverse has her plan all set up. First off was the daisy dukes which I have to admit pretty much sold me. Anyway she informed me that I was sitting next to her at the table. I was ousted from my normal seat. Any lull in the conversation was followed by a question about how I was doing.

So anyway the landlord has given her 3 months to stop smoking or get out. She's never been able to stop so I don't see any change coming. So I might have to start keep track of this and agree to sex about the 2 month period. Since she will have plans already in motion to be someplace else by 3.

I was very happy that OVDC was able to get me in today. All the stress of the last few days had done a number on my body and it was nice to get some treatment. I was so nice and relaxed afterwards. Hopefully it will last. I could use another massage, but I don't see any in the near future.

Guy's Night

Well Server guy and I finally got together. We'd been trying for the last two weeks, but he's been the busiest I've ever seen him at work. I wish he had picked a less smokey spot, but I think he's use to the place from when he smoked. We played pool and talked about women, kids, and our friends.

Since he has older twin boys I was actually thankful for his advice on keeping the connection with Eric. The biggest was the reminder that Eric is 10 and doesn't know to to fully work the conversation. He's just emotionally driven by excitement. Some of the ideas he had were more computer game playing which I wasn't that happy about even though Eric does love it. Most things would involve my ex's involvement to get it set up which I'm never happy about.

I know on my end I'm getting a bit shy calling Eric at the moment since I know I'm going to have to push back our November visit since I didn't get my money last week. Since my ex wouldn't bring him to the airport in August it's been a since July and I don't like the length of time.

We both agreed that the singles group has a new flavor with many of the older members rarely coming and new people showing up. Not that this is a bad thing, but that we need to keep the older members we're friends with in touch. So we're trying to have a party of five with Saturn girl, Savant, and Asp since we all get along very well.

I was happy to hear Server guy say that I seemed a much happier single person these days which was my goal for this year. He also said I should sleep with Inverse since it's just sex she's looking for. I know she wants whats in my pants, my wallet which isn't happening. So we'll see. If she keeps smoking like a chimney it won't be happening.

Older Men, Younger Women

Did any of you read this article? It studied a bunch of spider monkeys, Brits, or some other group to come up with its statistics. What they found was that divorce was the least with couples when the woman was at least 5 years younger than the guy. Maybe I shouldn't write those twenty somethings off so fast. 15-20 years younger and the marriage will probably signed in blood.

The funny thing is that it doesn't work in reverse. If the woman is 5 or more years older than the man then they are 3 times as likely to divorce. Sorry ladies. Those cougar traits may work for sex, but not for a long term relationship.

The usual answer came up for preventing the wandering eye. More sex. So remember that. If you want to keep a person have sex 1...2...5 times a day and they'll just be too freaking tired to find anyone else.

Milestones

Hey I hit the 10k mark on what the insurance companies owe me. Woohoo, f*ck! I can't believe it's this much. I also can't believe this is why I'm still struggling so much financially. The money like Christmas is coming someday. I'm trying not to let it consume my thoughts so I can still work in the business, but I have to admit its getting harder.

I signed my Mom's comfort care papers. Mostly it was just not to resuscitate her, no new meds unless they were for her comfort, and not to remove her from the facility unless their was trauma. Change of scenery I know would stress my Mom more than anything else.

As you know I have a new woman in the house. What you probably don't know is that it causes me anxiety when a woman is up the house moving around at night. It takes me time to get used to it. I get it from my Mom and ex. While my Mom was never a night nut, you sometime never knew who was coming through the door. Nice person or crazy lady. So that unknown factor of what's coming through the door still haunts me at times. During the day I'm good and can work it out if it bothers me. However at night while I'm sleeping my defenses are down and it causes problems. The other is that my ex has done crazy shit at night like shining a flashlight in my eyes to wake me. Dropping bits of paper with messages on me while I'm sleeping. Believe me their were no sexy messages there. So even though Inverse is not new to the house I have to get re-acclimated to her being there during the night which will take 1-2 weeks. Oh joy.

On the good side. I love Five Below. Whats not to love about everything being $5 or less. Plus it's good stuff and not crap. I stopped there Sunday on my drive about and picked up a laptop cooler for $5. I was thinking of picking one up since mine is starting to get hot, but they start at $20 and go up fast (see paragraph 1). So I tried it out yesterday and it works great. I'm so happy.

The Suit Snag

I have to admit this dressing up for work again has been good for me and I enjoy it. However I'm starting to hit a snag. My ties. While I have a whole bunch of them, I'm finding that the neck on my shirts is too small for a bunch of them. A while back I had to get new shirts because with working out I had gotten broader and I needed longer sleeves. So at the time I bought some with neck being the next size up and some the same. I tell you I'm really starting to hate have ironed a bunch of shirts and having agonizingly color coordinated them. I'm color blind so it's agonizing believe me. Only to find out there is no way I can wear a tie with it. Whenever I get paid by the insurance companies I'll have to do some shirt purchasing.

The other snag which truly hit me from left field was when I walked in the house tonight late. I think someone needed to wipe up the drool off of Inverse's chin as she tracked me as I went on by. I guess my hope that her desire for me had cooled off went the way of the Dodo.

On a side note it was totally weird to have my waiting room over flowing today. A family was just about to leave since I just finished treating them. My next patient was there and then a couple arrived 30 minutes early. I had 5 adults and a baby there. It was wall to wall people and a first for the room.

Culture Shock

As you may or not know I watch a bunch of British TV shows. Watching them I remember a friend that married a Filipino girl. Afterwards he stated that he never knew their was such a cultural gap. I see it when I date women that were born in a different country. There's just some different things there. No physical differences. Well nothing I've noticed yet.

Anyway most countries don't glorify the violence that we do. So back to British action shows. Now I'm not a violent person by nature, but I have to admit every episode of whatever I'm watching, I'm saying this could all be prevented if someone had a gun. Hey some wacko is trying to kill you. A weapon would be nice. Aliens taking over the world. Hey again a weapon would be good. It reminds me of that old Robin Williams joke about British cops. Since they don't carry weapons the cry would be, "Stop! Or I'll say stop again!"

What I found interesting is that the only episodes that I see my suggestion used is when whoever comes to the US. Then their are guns and bullets galore. I guess we have a reputation.

Go check out this video at List of the Day. It's for all you parents out there that watch PIXAR movies with their kids. Or like me I just watch for myself.

The Show

After many bumps in the road we got to sit close up for the show which is something I try to plan for each time we go to the Funny Bone. I don't think anyone else cares, but I enjoy it better. The funny thing was that I saw Smile girl on line with her son and friends. When we were dating she was a volunteer and I knew she would be doing it again tonight. I wasn't wrong.

While the show is always the same jokes and such. Having different participants can really make or break the show. I don't volunteer since I usually have people in the audience that I know and I can't have my professional image tarnished.

Anyway this was the first show I say J Medicine Hat flustered. He had one woman up there that had huge breast and a low cut top. When he was making jokes with her in the beginning she was very demure. Holy crap did that go out the window during the show. To answer your questions. J puts everyone under and has about 5 volunteers at once. He puts them through different scenarios and they react how they would. Anyway one scenario is all of them trying to win $250K during a fitness exhibition. The last pose for the women is a breasts pose. Even with instructions to not take your top off this woman kept pulling down her top. Every time J walked away she pulled it down. Now many might not see a problem with this, but here in Virginia Beach nipples and alcohol are a offense. A restaurant/bar can lose their license really fast for the offense. It was freaking hilarious to watch what was like some sitcom skit.

The second thing that frustrated him which was hilarious was another scenario when he has them pretend to be band members. He always has two women be lesbian lovers in the band. While talking to them he went to screw with them some more. So he said that they were hot for him. They were all over him so fast he was trying to pull them off him. It was so hilarious. Like I've said before if you never seen his show you are missing out.

So what's the payoff for the volunteers. Since you are hypnotized he can help you with weight loss, smoking, etc. He usually tells the women they can orgasm at a blink of an eye and the guys to last longer. Tonight he through in an orgasm at every red light home.

Soapbox Rants

Hey it's Sunday and I got to do what I like to do which is sleep in. What I didn't enjoy was reading the paper this morning. First off the article on rising health care premiums for employers is blamed on rising medical bills. No offense, just tell the truth. I have friends in the business and most insurance companies made horrible investments and loss their pants and shirts. Now like car and house rates their on the rise. Medical bills amounts are set by the insurance company when you agree to accept it. I've seen for myself, in this year alone, my best insurances have dropped reimbursement from about $80 to $50.

The other is the bombardment of fund raising for all the schools in the area. While I'm not a big fan of the hassle my main problem is that I offered most of them an option to get funds. My offer has been a $25 exam and treatment at the office and I'd give them 100% of that for their PTA. Myself and most people I talk to see it as a no brainer. However you'd be surprised how many people have turned me down or still thinking about it with pretty lame ass excuses. I don't get it.

Oh well I have the house to myself for a few hours which I don't think will ever happen again for a long time so I'm going to enjoy some loud music.

Just Another Saturday Night

I tell you switching from being very busy to having free time is rough for me. The weekends are no exception. When I have nothing planned the hours can really drag on me. I enjoy down time as much as the next person. However going from 60 to 0 just takes some getting use to. I worked, went to the gym, hit thrift stores, Barnes & Nobles, laundry, and a nap. I tell you it makes me antsy. Through all of this I've been watching Doctor Who which is something I'd never thought I'd say. I remember when my friend use to watch it when we were younger and I've heard it at many conventions. However after watching Torchwood I'd figure I'd give it a go. It's okay and I'll finish watching the season. I've seen better and I've seen worse.

It was nice to have dinner be just the landlord and myself. He was stating that since he announced that Inverse was moving back in, Enigma has been eating out a lot. Who knows why? Maybe can only have one mother hen in the house. I guess we'll see when Inverse moves in tomorrow. I won't be hear for dinner since I'll be at the J. Medicine Hat show. If you've never seen him make plans to see him if he comes to your area. It's a great and hilarious hypnotist show.

Re Cooperating

I'm re cooperating today. My week of being out every night is over, money is going to be tight if non-existent for a while, and my Mom seems stable. I'll pass on seeing her this weekend and will see her in the beginning of the week when I have to sign papers. Gas prices here are jumping by leaps and bounds. I had a lot of choice words when I threw $20 into my tank to only see it move my gauge minimally. I'm comfortable if she goes before than that I've done everything I could have up to this point.

I'm going to hit the gym and then the thrift stores to find a puzzle I'll enjoy doing. I enjoy the focus time it gives me, but I'm picky on the ones I choose especially being color blind. I get way too frustrated when I have to try and differentiate between shades of colors.

Supposedly Inverse moves back in today. I need to do a bunch of laundry today so I'm sure I'll see her around. So to leave you today I'll show you some of the sights we had on hike Thursday.

Happy Hour

Happy hour went well tonight. It was a different mix of people than usual which made it interesting. Different types of people were put together. I got to talk to some people I don't get to talk to too much. My general rule is I'm not in charge of your happiness. So new comers I'll talk to and try to get them acclimated, but after a while you have to be able to fly on your own. So we had some quiet people tonight and some did well and others did not. Surprisingly the place really wasn't that crowded tonight. However I have to admit service sucked. Trying to get orders taken was a problem and most people just walked over to the bar for drinks. My present came in the form of the waitress in the slutty cop outfit. She was wearing a micro skirt and fishnets. You really can't bend over and reach for something. It was a nice show and didn't cost me anything.

Well tonight ended a week long marathon of being out every night. This next week is the opposite at the moment unless I post some new events. However with no money coming in that probably won't happen since money for bills is needed. I could probably deal better with having no money and having nothing owed me. However when I have no money, thousands owed me, and bills all piled up I freak. So it's going to be a rough week.

Ooooo I'm Dying!!!!!!

I'm in the red today and waiting for the stroke to take me. Now most would think this is due to my Mom, but it's not. She's doing well today and everything is stable. Hey like it never happen. Yes I'm in a pissy mood today. I do want to thank everyone for their kinds words and prayers.

Anyway I'm about to go postal with my collections today. It started when I got a zillion letters from an insurance company. I opened them up and its about a patient that collected money from another insurance company and then skipped the state instead of paying me over 2K. Anyway this was another insurance company saying they had my bills and were paying. So I called and they had already paid this patient the money. Since I didn't send it in they didn't have the lien. So as I get this she has been paid twice and I'm still out my money. I almost had a stroke right there and then.

I finally got through on the large insurance check I was suppose to get this week. After endlessly waiting I was informed that they didn't have my bills. WTF? There recommendation was to wait 2 weeks and then if they still hadn't gotten them to resubmit. My plan is resubmit right now if not sooner. Holy shit. Give me a gun so I can go postal and release some of this stress. I think my Mom will outlive me.

The last large amount of money owed me is still unknown since no one will return my phone calls at the insurance company.

I'm hoping happy hour with the singles tonight is fun cause I need to relax.

9 Lives

Well I did what I usually do when I hit bumps in the road. I talk and journal about it. I was in a better place when I finally got my brother and family on the phone. I think I might have been a little hard when I was talking with my SIL, but had mellowed a bit when I got my brother on the phone. He supported my decisions and I think he's happy that he doesn't have to make them. Our Mom originally asked him to take this position years ago, but he passed. I guess being older has its privileges.

Before I left work my Mom's place called to tell me that I wouldn't be able to sign any paperwork till Monday which was okay. I asked how my Mom was doing and was told she was in the dinning room having dinner. WTF? The lady has freaking 9 lives. 2 hours prior she's completely unresponsive with a very low blood pressure and now she's having dinner. No offense to anyone, but part of me is like just freaking die. These emotional roller coaster rides suck.

The hike was what I needed. The weather and the sky were perfect. The last gift I got today was that Inverse cancelled coming for dinner tonight. She will move in Saturday, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with her tonight.

That Place

Up around the bend, past the sign post. There is a speeding truck that hits you straight on. That's how I feel right now. I got back to back phone calls from my Mom's place today which is never a good sign. Then they put me on hold to find someone to talk to me which still isn't a good sign. They found my Mom non-responsive and limp today. However by the time I called she was responding. Although they were telling me she was nodding yes to all the answers. I think they needed to ask if she was on fire to see if she would nod yes to that. I never know if my Mom is just yesing to everything or not. When I'm with her she will nod no for somethings, but it's usually the minimum.

Anyway since she has a DNR they want to know if I want to put her on comfort care. God I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I started asking questions on the situation since I have no idea where she is. Is she okay now? A drooling idiot? I agreed to put her on comfort care and I'll have to stop by later to sign paperwork. Pretty much this means they aren't adding things to prolong her life. They'll just keep her comfortable.

So I cancelled game night tonight and I hope everyone gets the message. I'll still go for my hike since I could really use it now and then head on over to sign papers.

What's Happening Wednesday

Still no check which doesn't make me happy and no response from the message I left. This coupled with 1 patient rescheduling on this slow day has really brought me down. I don't like being so easy to knock of balance. Again I know it's perspective. I've had a lot more people call this week to come in than to reschedule which is always a good thing. However I know when I'm in a sour mood I will focus on the bad instead of the good.

It looks to be about the same amount of people as last month for my talk tonight. It was interesting that a person from last time wanted to come again. I wanted to make a job about the free meal, but refrained. Hey I can be good.

Server guy wants to get together this weekend to catch up on gossip since he missed belly dancing with me. I honestly don't have any gossip. What I had was I was wondering if he had split from his GF, but she just went on vacation with her daughter. Hopefully he has more for me. I'm betting he has questions on the increase activity of some of the women from the group with me on Facebook.

I tell you I am tired of this scab on the back of my hand and have totally given up on it ever freaking healing. I cut back into it over the weekend when I was working on my car. Every single time I remove the band aid I catch it on something and rip the scab some. I'm about to just cast the hand to get it over with.

Breaking News

Well a first is happening in the household. The landlord is letting someone back in that owes him money. He admits its breasts and a little girl. Not on the same body. Inverse is moving back in with her daughter by the end of the month. The funny thing is that Inverse is an A cup, but I have to admit she does know how to package the goods. As previously stated Inverse goes through jobs like women go through toilet paper. It never seems to be her fault is always highly suspicious. Anyway like last time when she stated she wanted to turn over a new leaf, she is again stating that. The landlord is going for it. At the minimum it's a lot of blog worthy stuff. Also I'll try to nab a pic of her for you.

I did feel vindicated tonight after hearing the plumbers report. The major problem was women's hair blocking the pipes. I thing besides the Escort every woman has had long hair since I've been here.

Tonight was day 4 in the evening marathon week. The singles and I went to see 500 Days of Summer. It was a good film and worth the price of the $1 admission. It's not a mainstream movie, but worth seeing when you're single. Like the narrator said, "its a movie about a boy and a girl, but it's not a love story."

The Scent of a Woman

Today makes two days in a row that I've been hit with a woman's scent that I find attractive. My friend Paul and I have talked about this at great length. Honestly it's not perfume either. It's the scent of their hair. It probably doesn't hurt that they both have long hair and the body types that I like. Hey the full package deal. I will tell you if they could bottle the scent I'd buy it.

After two long weeks I hit the gym again. My wrists still hurt in certain positions at work, but I was careful while working out. At this point I'm hoping the increase in muscle tone will push the healing the rest if the way. I'm tired of not working out. The good thing about the gym was that they changed it around and put all the cardio machines in another room down the hall. I rarely use them so now I can avoid most of the crowd.

The day was too beautiful to be indoors and I had a huge window in my schedule. So I hightailed it down to Panera for a cinnamon crunch bagel and some marketing work. I tell you the change of scenery was just what the doctor ordered. Since I'm a doctor it worked out well.

Dapper

I found out something that is worse than a turd in a swimming pool. A big hunk of broccoli covered in brown sauce falling off your fork when you're dressed up. I was like Remo Williams dodging bullets. If you didn't get the reference don't worry I'm a nerd. Anyway it did make a lovely stain on the rug. That brown sauce may be an ancient Chinese secret, tastes great, but it sure does a lot of damage.

Still no large insurance checks and I'm not happy.

My being dressed up is causing quite the stir with everyone I know in business. Dapper is the word I'm hearing a lot these days as well as why. My response is that I'm doing a socio-economic study which is true since I'm seeing if patients respond better to me dressed up. So far patients aren't mentioning it at all, but I wouldn't expect it. I think it will all be subconscious in better compliance.

I'm not a bristly guy, but I do shave everyday. Somehow I've stopped up the sink in my bathroom. I don't know if its the shaving creme or what that has gummed the works up. The next door neighbor with 2 grown boys says it happens. I'll be 43 next month and it hasn't happened to me yet. I've pulled enough of my ex wife's hair out of the drain when we were married. Maybe it never had enough time.

Monday's gripe

I truly hate days like this. I'm living at the window waiting for the mailman. When I was a child this was a fun if not frustrating past time. A friend and myself use to draw comics fro each other. It kept us in touch and out of trouble. However as an adult this waiting doesn't bring back those nice feelings. Why? Well one of my large insurance payments should be coming today. All my bills are lined up to be paid with it. My worry is that if it doesn't show up I'm going to get screwed.

Today is day 3 of marathon week. Tonight is my usual Monday night meeting and tomorrow night is 500 Days of Summer at the $1 movie house. As usual, busy week is lined up with low money week. Oye.

The only other bump in the road today has been my Healthy recipe site. Each month I grab a few and then I post a new recipe on my website every week. The recipe website updated over the weekend. The problem they got rid of a lot of recipes. The ones I had for the next 2 weeks were gone. For a while I thought the website was broken until I saw that many pages of recipes were gone. Hey updating is nice, but that usually involves adding stuff instead or removing. Oh well.

Cold and Damp

What a freakin' cold and damp day it was today. It didn't matter if you were inside our out it sucked. It even sucked more since I needed to work on a few things on my car. Simple stuff like a new air filter and headlight. While the air filter isn't bad the light is a pain in the ass. I have to loosen half of my bumper to get to the freakin' thing. I don't know whose idea of a joke this was, but making simple stuff hard to get to was not a smart thing.

My victory today was finding a nice navy blue suit jacket to wear to work. I now have several colors to rotate through. The rest of my day was mostly relaxing watching DVD's and doing puzzles until tonight.

I had a funny feeling server guy wasn't going to show up to belly dancing tonight. I could of checked, but I just wanted to get out of the house. I don't really care if I'm by myself or not. However one of the other members did show up for a while. It was small show tonight with only 2 girls dancing. One was someone I hadn't seen before and the other I had seem many times. You can see the confidence difference. While I do enjoy the sword dance a lot I do like the finger cymbals better.

Tomorrow I'm suppose to get one of my big insurance checks. If I do the week goes well. If they screw me around then I'm screwed.

Party Hardy

I can't believe what happened at the Halloween party tonight. I worked the room. This may sound bizarre, but I was a shy kid. I guess working enough of my own events and business socials I've learned the skill. I did meet some great people and sorry no scandalous costume for me. I broke out the wizard costume. It was funny I got to the party and followed this very attractive woman in who was dressed in a 60's short outfit and go go boots. She was hot, but married. Oh well. My friend was freaking cause only one other person was there and had been there for a while by himself. However everyone started piling in shortly. I can see my standards have increased since I was talking to the devil, while she was pleasant, hearing that you don't want to go to events because you don't know anyone doesn't do much for me. Hey I know a lot of people are shy and I've admitted I was one of them. I don't want to be the force getting someone out. Been there, done that, and never again.

It was a day of missed women. The Photographer was suppose to come to the party and German girl wanted me to chat with her to see if she was still interested in me. She peaked my interest enough for me to agree to this. On the other end Tango girl was a no show at the art show. It was a chilly day walking it, but still fun. I actually bought something. It wasn't that expensive, but with things tight it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. However I REALLY like it and I've been waiting to look at it and not be as interested in it. However that hasn't happened yet and I'm still very happy with the purchase. It was done in an Indian style of Batiks which involves wax.

Legacy

Phili when she was living with us talked up the Birdcage so much. All her talk about the movie peeked my interest so I put it on hold at the library. I think they were missing it so its taken a long time to get it. So I was very surprised yesterday when they said they had it for me. I watched it last night and I have to admit it was a good movie. Mouth wanted to know why I was laughing so much.

Well it might be a cool, damp, cloudy fall day, but it's dry and that's what I wanted. Today the singles and I are headed over to Stockley Gardens art festival. I believe the twice a year festival is one of the reasons to live in Virginia or some such crap information. I have to admit I enjoy going every time it's around. However bad weather has hampered the event for the last year or so. The other big thing of the festival is to get a sense of where Tango girl's head is at. She will have her daughter today since she said she is bringing a guest. Hopefully I'll find out why I'm getting so much more attention from her.

Tonight is my friend's Halloween party. It's not a single's event, but many of the members will be going. I was surprised to see that certain individuals weren't going. By that I mean people that were dating and now aren't going to events together.

Life is a Dance, Yeah the Jitter Bug

I just realized today that it's been almost 2 months since I stopped my medicine. The funny thing is that I don't even think about it anymore. I do my meridian therapy for it since it takes all of 15 seconds just in case. In the beginning I was watching it like a hawk and then at some point it just disappeared.

I tell you I hate when we have fill in mail people for many reasons. The first and largest being that they come later. I believe this is because they take some bizarre route. I saw the fill in guy today and he was across the street. I figured he'd be here in a few, but I had to run an errand. So when I got back there was nothing in the mailbox which was weird. Since I'm the only resident of the hallway now except for the Troll it's hard to tell if he's been there. So I ate lunch and ran to the bank to make my deposits. Guess who should be here when I get back. Yes the mailman trying to figure out the alphabet in our hall. The suites are labelled A-E. I tell you it screws with all the fill in and it's a sad state of affairs. So it was another trip to the bank on a Friday which I don't enjoy.

A bizarre happening this week is that Tango girl has been commenting on a lot of my Facebook stuff. From 0 to 60. Why do I say this is weird? Well I think about a month ago she announced ala Facebook that she was in a relationship. However that information is now missing. Now I like Tango girl. She's attractive and in great shape from all the dancing. Now I'm wondering if her relationship went sour or not. Hopefully I'll find out when I see her tomorrow at the art festival.

Old Math

I would like to go on the record that I don't have anyone looking like this at my Walmart. If I did I might hang out there more. The people that I have look like the pics at People of Walmart.

When I was growing up, the big joke was the new math. I guess now it's the old math. I mention this because Mouth came over to my room last night for some homework help will her mom, Enigma made dinner. Now when I suggested she write down the addition and subtraction problems underneath each other and just work it out. She looked at me like I had 3 heads. Now I never did get an answer of how they do it in school, but Enigma got the same reaction. I'll have to ask Eric, but is there now a newer math? If there is I don't know if it's helping.

The landlord should be back tomorrow night and real food will resume. Enigma isn't a bad cook, but most everything is directed at the kids so I'm wanting vegetables and something that can't be gotten at a fast food joint.

Contemplations

Cary over at List of the Day had the 5 Levels of Relationships. What truly makes it funny is that a lot of it is true. What I truly find amazing and again because it's true is what gets to me is that farting in front of your SO is a major step. The interesting thing is that I don't remember that in any of the educational films they showed us in school.


Your Testes and You

★Heartbreaker♫MySpace Videos

Sorry for the poor quality it was all I could find. So I guess when I have the next talk with Eric I should say cut one in front of her and rocket your relationship to the next level. I wish someone had told me that when I was younger. Instead of doing nice things to help develop the relationship and have it move on. Just cut the cheese.

The age old question came up today over lunch with my business coach. Should I turn the office into a more medical looking office. He was against it, but didn't know if patients respond to it more. We both agreed that it was a sad state of affairs if this was true, but we know people respond to things subconsciously. I like being different than the medical offices and my patients like the homey feel of it. I do go look in a lot of other offices on my free time. Okay I'm a chiropractic office peeking tom, I admit it. Most of them are cold looking places that I don't like. However I've thought of the same thing many times over the years. I've been against it, but I do know how people respond to bells and whistles.

Does the clothes make the man?

Yes I have a picture of a guy instead of a hot woman today. Don't get use to it. The temperature dropped twenty degrees since yesterday and will stay that way here. So I've broken out the shirt, tie, and even a jacket. I haven't worn my ties in a long time. For my first 9 years as a chiropractor it was a daily staple, but since I've been down here I've gone more casual. Many of my female business associates hound me to wear a tie since they know I will look good in it. However I haven't picked it up. My tie carousel has gone up and down in my closet many times, but that's about it. I was talking to my friend Paul this morning and he said that a few people in his business group wear suits and ties to feel like a businessman. And therein lies the rub. I remember being a child and not wanting to wear gold so I wouldn't be seen as big shot. What really got me was when Paul said someone during his introduction said he was an under earner. Hey that's me. I've always sold myself short and I think my comfortable clothes are another way that I do that. What's that old alcoholic term, "fake it to you make it." I think that's going to have to be my motto until I increase my worth some more.

I tell you for someone whose hands are very important to them, you can't tell with me this week. Besides both my wrists still being strained and hurting in some positions. Monday I scraped about 2 layers of flesh off the back of my hand. Honestly I didn't even know until I saw the blood. What truly sucks it wasn't enough loss to get a scab so it's just raw skin until it heals.

Hopefully you've stopped vomiting from all that. The Harry Potter movie last night was good, but interesting. Interesting you say? Yep. At this point in the series they've taken the track that you've read the books so they have no reason to give you any background information. If you're just there with for a friend you're shit out of luck. The reason I say this is because I read the book when it came out years ago. Let me tell you I was really trying to jog my memory during the movie. I think I may need to dig the series out of storage to read it again.

Life's Tidbits

I was reading the local magazine for the area since they had their annual Sensational Singles article. This was the first time in a while that they didn't ask our group for participants. The interesting thing this year is that I knew many of the people through business. Their were about 20 people ranging in age from mid 20's to late 40's. Now the biggest thing that really stood out to me was the longest relationship question. Only one person said 10 years while everyone else was like 3. Holy shit! Is this is a demographic slice of Americana? This really made me feel a difference between myself and everyone else. My longest relationship was 16 years. Are these people all just light weights? Or are people bailing out of relationships faster instead of working on them? It was just mind boggling to me. Although I have to admit when I talk to people in the singles group, many people had short marriages and the long term ones are few and far between. I guess having it all together there really made me see it.

It was funny this morning to be treating someone while his wife was Facebooking about everything. How do I know? Well we're Facebook friends since we are in a business group together. The age of technology has spread everywhere.

I see that I'll be going by myself to see Harry Potter tonight. It was a very light Internet in seeing it within the group. When there is only one woman and myself usually they drop out at the last minute and that's what happened this time.

Help Needed

Okay this is a new one for me. I usually just journal here, but this came up and we're still behind. My friend Chuck got reactivated to go with the marines to Afghanistan. He's a chapel for about 400 marines. Something I didn't know was there are female marines. I know there are women in every other part of the military, but the marines always seemed like a guy thing. Anyway he serves with 60 women there. The problem is that all donations are male oriented and the women get nothing. Chuck says that they are in desperate need of skin care and any “feel pretty” products. The climate is extremely dry and it is so difficult to get quality products where they are stationed. My friend Amy who does Mary Kay has taken it up to help them. So here is her message.

This is where I come in… I want to provide for these women who are selflessly serving for our country. I am willing to donate all my time, mailing, profits and products to these ladies. But I really need your help. I am beginning a program so you may “Adopt a Soldier”. I want to get every lady there a full size skin care set and tinted lip balm (SPF 15 of course). If you are able to donate, Your name would actually go on a card with a message from you, to the female soldier. Since my friend Chuck is the Chaplain and all donations go through him to be fairly distributed, I feel confident all these ladies will be getting exactly what they need with my instructions to Chuck.

To “Adopt a Soldier” there are 3 different ways to help…
Donate $50 to give a complete Miracle Set to a soldier (One card just from you)

Donate $25 to share in a Miracle Set to a solider (Your message and one other on the card

Donate $8 to give a Tinted Lip Balm SPF 15 to a soldier (One card just from you)

((At this point we are taking all donations and just adding them up to do Miracle sets for all of them))

Please let me know if you are interested. I am so thrilled I can help out these ladies. I have already ordered mini hand creams for them and I will get them off to Chuck as soon as they come in. What a great surprise when they get the big box the next time with everything they need for a happy face!

Let me know if you want to help. And I will get payment and the message you would like to tell your soldier.

Hugs!
Amy Becraft amysavalanche@cox.net
PS – If you would like to forward this e-mail on to a friend who may be interested in helping, feel free.

Thanks for your support.

The Eyes Have it

One of the new members mentioned it at Panera's the other night. Most everyone had glasses on. The numbers were 10 people out of 12 and those two both has Lasik. It was a surprising cross section of Americana. Then while waiting for my oil change today I was reading an article about how having glasses is no longer a stigma like it was when I was a kid. It may actually be a cool thing. I know Eric was excited to get his glasses and he thinks they are cool. Now I know he wasn't dropped on his head as a baby so maybe the rumors are true. I'm happy to see the stigma drop, although I think it's just numbers more than society changing. I think people are wearing glasses in record numbers now and that the norm is to have them. You're on the fringe if you don't have them. Who would have guessed?

Size Does Matter

While removing my Mom's TV did kick my ass yesterday. I am thoroughly enjoying it today. I'd had gotten so use to a small 19" set over the last 5 years. When we split I gave my ex our big TV for Eric. Now to have a big TV again to watch DVD's is great. It's like WOW. I'm a kid in a candy store. I remember visiting one of my friend years ago and his GF's parents had a huge projection set and I was like in heaven. While size doesn't matter to me in most cases. I do have to admit with TVs, size does matter.

I have to admit it was a pretty uneventful day. If I could have slept in it would have been better. I did my usual Barnes & Nobles run and even stopped in Borders to check them out to see if I could find something I wanted since I had a 40% off coupon, but they didn't have anything. Besides being out of the way there selection is always sparse in anything I want.

My talk with the baseball team seemed to go okay. I did start to worry when I got there and their was only little kids playing. The coach did tell me 3:30. He like most of the parents were late. The funny thing was as soon as I started talking, the kid at bat started hitting foul balls our way. I talked maybe 2 minutes and I can't count the amount of times I had to duck.

I tell you I don't know what I would do with myself, but I could use another day off. Well my day at the office tomorrow isn't too full so hopefully I can do something and get out early.

Revelations

Sitting and listening to everyone at the table last night at Panera's, especially the Photographer saying she was ready to go back home until she joined the group, I realized something. I now know more people than I think I ever knew combined, however I still don't have any very close friends. I only notice this when people from the group come in and have no one and they find friends. I get a nice feeling from it, however I haven't had that feeling for myself. Friends as an adult is a different animal from when I was a kid. I have people to call to do stuff with, but no one to share my day to day stuff except for my friend Paul back in NY.

I'm tired today. There was a freaking mosquito in the room last night. It flew past my ear every few hours waking me up. I'm not quite sure which is worse. The usual keep flying past my ear that I have to get up and kill it or the frequent wake ups. All I know I'm tired and the mosquito is now dead.

Not much on my plate today although I have an appointment to talk to one of the private school baseball teams about getting treatment. I've increased my skill with it so hopefully it goes better than last time.

A Bumpy Day

It was a bit of a bumpy day for me. The good was that I found the oil leak in my car. It turned out that rubber band in the box was the gasket. Mystery solved and that made me very happy.

I finally decided to take my Mom's TV out of her place. It's way larger than mine and she never uses it. I tell you this kicked my ass. While I know my Mom isn't going to get any better. I guess it was sort of a little lie in the back of my head that as long as the TV was there things had some normalcy. I almost didn't take it today since it was upsetting, but the moving cart was right at the entrance which it is never there. So I knew I would kick myself for not taking it and have to do it again at another time without the cart. Now that it's at my place it's nice having a big TV again. When I got divorced I gave my ex the big TV for Eric and I kept the 19". I don't know if he ever got to use it or she kept it in her room.

Game night went well and we had many new people there. The bumpiness came at the end. The Photographer was there and some of the new girls were asking her questions. Some about the group, Game boy, and life. It was weird sitting there listing to it all. Halloween is coming up and we were dating at this time last year. A mutual friend might have her Halloween party again and we both went to that as a couple. So it was weird for her to talk all about this and not mention me. She would look over at me and I'm not saying I wanted her to say anything. It was just strange. The other was about her relationship with Game boy which again was interesting since she dated me at the same time since she wanted the relationship with me for a while. However I had been dating the Planner. Anyway she had ended it with Game boy a few months ago since she now wants a more serious relationship. Again I wasn't looking for her to share any of this information, but there's this whole sub story of us in there. I don't know if her looking at me to see if I wanted her to share or what. All I can say is it was just strange.

Runaround

One of my biggest complaints about Virginia Beach is that their was no plan. Developers were allowed to run wild. So you have a zillion neighborhoods that don't connect and have one maybe two ways in/out if your lucky. Now I'm not talking a cul de sac. I'm talking several hundred homes if not pass the thousand mark. It causes bottlenecks all over the freaking place. Now you wonder why I mention this. Well we have an annual school 5k in our neighborhood. Today was it. Trying to get out of our neighborhood is a nightmare unless you do it before 7 am or after 11 am. Streets are closed and the best is the road out of our part of the neighborhood is the starting and ending place for the race. Yes we're stuck. God I hate this day.

On better news I found my oil leak. It's from the part I put in Wednesday. Either there is some grit under it or I need to tighten it more. I'm just happy to have found it.

This weekend I'm going to take my Mom's TV out of her room. She never uses it and it's been sitting there for the last few years. It's a lot larger than mine so it's a done deal. However it's another point of downsizing my Mom. I haven't had to do anything in a long while so it's a bit of a sore spot. I think the next one will be when she's dead.

The highlight of the day will be game night at Panera with the singles.

Slippery

It seems I've swung from one car problem to another. It seems I'm leaking oil. I'm not quite sure if a bunch came out a once after I fixed the camshaft sensor or it's been building. I've got a little pool collected in the bottom of the engine and a lot on the ground. I don't see any hose I knocked off and I'm thinking it's coming from the engine which wouldn't be good. I'll have to keep an eye on the level to see if it's stopped doing it or if it's continuing to leak.

I finally got my free massage this morning. It went well and she has good hands. So I'm seeing her Monday and if we're good we can start marketing together which will work out well for both of us.

I got a blast from the past this morning. It was an article in the paper about chronic fatigue syndrome. When I first met my ex wife she wanted to be a school teacher, but didn't want to be in charge of anything. I remember on our first date thinking WTF? However since it was our first date I didn't verbalize it. She became a teacher and ended up hating it and stopped doing it within 6 months. Why she stopped was she said she got chronic fatigue syndrome. During the time we were dating I really worked on helping her out, getting her information, and pretty much bending over backwards to help. All of this I was happy to do. However just before we separated we were talking one day and she casually mentioned how she made the whole chronic fatigue thing up so she could get out of teaching. My jaw dropped, but I didn't say anything cause I couldn't believe what I had heard. It was like 14-15 years of believing a lie.

I was happy that I really didn't have any anger this morning, but I figured I would journal about it so I could put it to rest.

Smoke and Guns

While I love living down in Virginia it has some quirks that New York didn't. One of the biggest is guns. In the Old Dominion as long as you have a license and don't have it concealed (which needs a special permit) you can wear you gun to supermarket. Like I was walking into the post office yesterday and a woman is walking out with a holstered gun strapped to her belt. I tell you I've been down her too long since I didn't even flinch. I do admit the woman with the pink holster in Panera bread a few weeks ago was interesting. I have to admit, at least in this area, I see more women with guns than men. Not quite sure what's up with that. I might have to add it to my checklist when I'm thinking about asking a woman out. Attractive, check. Wedding ring? Nope. Carrying a gun to blow me away and not in a good way.

The other thing is smoking. Tobacco is still a very big cash crop here. So is smoking in public places. It was funny even the comedians at the Funny Bone Sunday were like you still have smoking here. Even Ireland has done away with smoking in pubs we were informed. I can't wait till 12/1 when the smoking ban goes into affect here.

She Blinded Me with Library Science

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No happy ending, but at least a hangover

Well it ends up that I'll have to do my own walking with my hands. Legitimate business came up so I'll get my massage Friday morning which is going to be even more of a killer. Starting the day all relaxed is not going to be a good thing. I'm bummed since I was really looking forward to being relaxed.

My car is becoming a real pain in the ass with starting up. It's a slow day tomorrow so I'll have to take it in tomorrow to get worked on. I'll take one more look at the engine tonight to see if I can spot the freaking camshaft sensor. I wish I was still in contact with the Planner. This is what happened with her Sebring when we were together.

Speaking of old girl friends. The Photographer stopped in for treatment yesterday. One of the problems I have with her is that since she broke up with me I wasn't to the place where I had enough of the relationship. I knew there was one and that it had it's limits. I just never got there. So anyway as many of my patients forget that their is a certain dress code when you come see me. Some of my female patients care and some don't. I just go with the flow. So when the Photographer showed up after work, she had a dress on. So I figured no electric stimulation on her back. She then realized that she had a dress on. She was like I have underwear on so just put it on. I realized it's probably not a good thing to be reaching up a dress of a woman you still like.

This evening has really changed from a very busy time to the dead zone. I'm waiting for my last patient and then off to see the Hangover at the $1 movie house. I've been waiting for this movie for a while now and can't wait to see it.

I don't know if I'm getting old or just dating too many women in the last few years. Most of them haven't even graced these pages. However I can't even remember who all these nicknames of women are. I feel just like I do when I look at some of my entertainment sites. It's so and so from this show and I'm like "who the hell" and "what freakin' show?"

Walking with your hands

There's only one answer for mid afternoon burn out. A walkabout. The weather being beautiful out doesn't hurt either. I see my car is giving me some problems again. I need to find out where that camshaft sensor is. The part is cheap. Only $30, but my fear is that I'll get it and won't be able to match it up to any of the wires.

I'm giving up on my massage therapist. No offense if you are one, but most aren't business people. So it's making more work for me and very little compensation for it. So I'm going to outsource it to someone down the street from me. I met her this morning and she seems very well trained. So I'm getting a freebie tomorrow to see how her hands are. I can't wait since it's been a very long time since I've had one.

The problem is that usually 3 hours after a massage I'm very sleepy. I had a bunch of patients reschedule tomorrow night so I'm going to see the Hangover for a $1. Getting sleepy in a dark room isn't going to be good. What's interesting is that her office is right across the parking lot from MC.

24 hours of Fun

The singles and I went to the Funny Bone last night. We got front and center which is something I haven't been in about 18-19 years. I think it was Rita Rudner in Sheepshead Bay in NY. I tell you it's like being in the front row at the movies. You get a crick in your neck from looking up so much. At least they could of had is a woman in a dress if I have to look up something. Anyway the comedians were hilarious and it rounded out the weekend on a good note. I did have my eye on two women there, but one was married I found out after her had finally became visible and I saw the ring. The other one was making eyes at me most of the night even though we were facing different directions. However your friends do make or break you. Her friends broke her. I was thinking she was in her 30's, but all her friends looked like early 20's so I said forgetaboutit.

I have small wrists. Another trait I got from my Mom. Besides getting wrists bands for my watch I haven't really thought about this in a long time. However yesterday I went to the gym and strained my wrists. While I can bench press a plate, my wrists don't seem to be able to handle the increased weight through them. I will tell you being a chiropractor with sore wrists does suck.

I spoke with the landlord this morning. He wanted to know how everything was going. The funny thing we talked about was the 2 trees in the front yard. After he left I went to get the mail and I saw them down and was really surprised especially since we have dozens of them on the property. He said he went to check something in the front before he left for his trip and the one tree just fell down right in front of him. Curious he checked the same type of tree on the other side of the walk. He said he pushed it and it went right over. Oh yeah I'm feeling really safe now.

Lessons from the Little One

I got a quick and hard reminder how fast I can ignore abuse from Enigma's daughter Mouth. Most everyone has seen the video of the baby girl just talking and talking and talking. Well that's Mouth. The only difference is she's 7. Mouth while a nice girl is very talkative and bossy. She stopped over my room today to see what I was doing and wanted to help with my puzzle. I didn't mind the interaction, but after a while I realized I was ignoring her crap. She was just taking things out of my hand, handing me other things, telling me what to do, etc. I was amazed how I had dropped back into my old MO of just ignoring the behavior. It was almost a cold sweat moment. I learned to take this crap from my Mom and I ignored it in my early relationships. I use to be proud of my ability to take anything, but over the years I realized I didn't want it. Once I realized the problem I spoke up and started setting my boundaries with Mouth.

It was a quiet day today. My patients this morning were enjoyable in that they really had important questions they wanted answered and no one else was answering it for them. While I enjoyed doing it and I was happy to do so since I had the time. I'll have to find a way to do it that is time conscious of my other patients.

I was hoping to make the gym today, but by the time I left the office I was starving so I'll head over tomorrow. I finally was able to get over and get a haircut today. I can't believe being a bit shaggy is really annoying nowadays. Years ago I kept my hair long at it was never a problem. I do want to thank my barber for pointing out that I am losing hair in the back. It was almost amusing since he seemed surprised. I've been thinning out for years now.

I may have to start calling before I go visit my Mom to see if she's taking a nap. It's about a 30 mile round trip and to find her sleeping is disheartening. I know there is no reason to wake her up. She's not all there with the dementia and just waking her up never helps.

My Singles Rant

To many of my new readers I run a large singles activity group in my region. Usually I deal with cheap ass people complaining about the $5 a year membership fee. You'd be surprised how many times you can drop the f-bomb when complaining to me or about me. Having "singles" in your name is a problem since everyone things it's a dating site and wants something for free. The problem usually is people are too lazy. They don't read the description that states this.

Now that laziness has spread to they can't be bothered to apply for membership to know what we do and what everyone looks like. The two that stand out today are:

"Would like to see what type of members there are before joining." - Dude if you looking for a catalog of women you're better of with one of those Russian bride magazines. I finally got a handle with this in the group. For some reason guys see a picture, like what they see, and it's a done deal. "Hey I got some wine and massage oil so let me come over and rub it into your creamy white skin." Hey I kid you not.

"Can you please provide details about club, listing of events, etc>?" Hmm now lady isn't this all the information you would get if you joined? Now this wouldn't be such a shot to the nuts if it was a rare thing, but it's not. I tell you I now fully understand why people can't find anyone.

You can see more weird profiles here.

The Art of being a Pest

My coach was pointing out that I let too much time go in between communication when I'm trying to get information, a contact, etc. He stated that more than a day was too much. After a few days I should go for the hourly rate. The person I want to get in contact will either contact me with information I'm requesting or tell me to fuck off. Either way the problem will be solved. I have to admit when he said something like this a few months ago when I would give people 2 maybe 3 calls and then let it die, it really made a difference of just keep calling till I got someone. No one's been offended and most people are thanking me for keeping them on track. What a freaking paradox let me tell you.

The almighty dollar is bringing me in tomorrow morning to treat a patient. I wasn't going to come in this week, but collections this week suck. Hey another patient rescheduled. Now I know why many of the chiropractic marketing companies have you all over a person when they call. Personally I like to make it a pleasant experience so they don't dread talking to me.

Well I have to admit it was a week of catching up with work stuff. What a freaking pain! At some point when money is better I'll get a virtual assistant to take care most of it. Most of it isn't hard it's just freaking time consuming plus you have to keep your sanity when dealing with the insurance companies.

Friday's Perspective

My beach hiking fall edition on Facebook is getting a lot of praise. My friends now want me to do a calander. I can't believe how much fun my friends have with these pictures. They start asking for them Tuesdays even though I hike on Thursday. Now I'm getting wardrobe request. People just have too much time on their hands. The hike was most welcome to me. After a frustrating week of dealing with insurance companies it was a nice way to blow off some stress. I tell you the temperature drops a few degrees and the beach was clear. I do miss the eye candy, but having the beach to yourself is pretty nice.

It's funny how things work out. While I was taking a shower this morning I was able to turn my perspective around. With all this collections crap going on this week I've been in a down mood. I know it's all attitude driven, however I haven't been able to turn it around. I guess with the stress relief last night I was able to realize all the good stuff going on. My business landlord is good with me paying late even though I hate to do it. My landlord at home is gone for 3 weeks so it allows me to play with my money until then. So good stuff that's allowing me time to take care of myself. Hard stuff to see when your perspective is all negative.