Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

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More Dating Beliefs

Since I'm talking about dating beliefs here's another one. I'm a big boundaries guy. I want the person I'm dating to be my equal or at we complement each other. I've carried too many people in my life and I just don't do it anymore. One thing I recently realize I do to give me an indicator of the shelf life of the relationship is the 2nd date boob touch. When I think back I've been doing this a long time. Anyway kissing on the second date is usually more passionate than the first. I will be touching your breast during that time. The women that I've gone on to date for a while have stopped me and told me they need to take it slow which is usually funny since they usually are initiating sex next date. Anyway back to my point. With the women that don't stop me, the relationship doesn't last long. Like Tech girl we ended up naked in her bed.

For me both people are authors writing the story of our relationship. If we both can lean on each other we're stronger and we continue to grow. If one side is weak we start to lean over until we break.

6 people had cathartic therapy:

Mike, I'm trying to figure out what you are looking for. I'm reading but not understanding. You want to touch, but you want her to turn you away. If she doesn't then that turns you off.

Are you looking for a partner/wife? I think you enjoy your single life.

I've been single for 26 yrs, in a long distance relationship for almost 6 yrs now. I love the time we spend together, I love what we do, but when I come home or when he goes home I love the life I live. People ask me when we're getting married and I don't really know if I want to, and to be quite honest, maybe he doesn't either.

How about you? Do you know what you want?

Estela in South TX
...damn, it's 88 degrees, what gives? it's supposed to be winter!!


Who are these girls in the picture? :)

Anyway .. yeah dating is a mess.. signals, touch, no touch.. kiss on the second date.. go on a second date,... blah. It's a rough game sometimes.. but I hear what you are saying about boundaries. The relationship I am in now is 2 years deep.. and started with 3 day sex bender.. never thought it would last.. but I learned more about her in those 3 days than anyone I have ever known. So it is circumstantial i suppose. Happy Hunting!


Estela - It doesn't turn me off, but it tells me something about her. Is she here for sex or here for a relationship. Actions speak louder than words.

I would like to get married again although I'm not yet ready to go there. I'm still working my way up the ladder to a healthier relationship. Abused women who still haven't fully recovered from their childhoods are still popping up too much for my taste.

It's starting to cool off here. We're down into the 50's now and suppose to be in the 30's by Monday, but it's been a week in the 60's almost 70.

Jiggins - Just google. Congrats that's a rare happening.


I see what you're saying, Mike. It's so easy to make it physical before anything else. Especially for those of us who haven't gotten any in a while. I have made this mistake a few times after dating for the first time in 10 years and those relationships have generally gone nowhere.

It's admirable to practice restraint and see if it is possible to be friends first before taking it too far to go back. That being said, I think passionate kissing on the first few dates is totally acceptable :)


Oh and thanks for visiting my blog - I added you to my blogroll :)


While I don't inititate the contact, if he tries to cop a feel on me, I usually let him but only if there is a strong physical attraction. Men tend to be perverted sometimes, but so am I. It is hard being single for a while and we all have needs. Why deny it ?

If he is going to initiate something and I participate, only for him to drop me later because he felt I was "too easy" for simply indulging him, then that is simply hypocritical, especially when he made the first move.

The funny thing is I usually think the same way the guy thinks. If he makes a move and I let him like on the second date, chances are he won't respect me as much because I made it too easy. But on the other hand, I am feeling the same way he does. I usually don't respect a man like that either because I know he is acting that way with other women and that he really isn't interested in me as a person. So I am not sad to see him go either. I know why I didn't get that call.

It has been a long time that I have met a man that I really genuinely like and want to get to know better and eventually have a relationship with. When men like that come along, I don't let them make the move so soon. I like to take things slow.

Just my two cents.

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