Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

WANTED: Normalcy

When I went out yesterday I couldn't believe how my body decompressed from everything happening at the house. The landlord is in full speed mode and emotionally I'm having a hard time keeping up. I crave some normalcy. I was very happy to sleep over Asp's place last night. It was great to see her, but be in a normal environment. I did find out this morning that her son has accepted me which is a good thing. Anyway sleeping and sex last night were problematic with everything happening. My mind was racing all over the place. It was totally weird since I've never not been able to focus on sex. Asp finally suggested we close the door to her room during the night. Boy did her cat have a fit about that.

Asp has been good at grounding me in all this and has offered me to come over anytime to have some normalcy. She asked me to go with her to a friend's Christmas party in a few weeks which is cool. Both her and her son sent me birthday cards which was very sweet. Christmas Eve we're suppose to get together with friends to celebrate before she leaves to go see her mom.

I was going to grab a nap when I got home this morning, but my landlord started asking me questions as soon as I walked in about after his passing. Enigma and the kids were packing. I couldn't take it so I grabbed a shower and headed to Starbucks. His ex should be here today and hopefully some of the flurry of activity will slow down.

Somber Sunday

It was a somber morning here at the house. The landlord talked to Enigma, gave her the news, and her walking papers. During the whole thing the phone kept ringing. It's hard hearing him breakdown and cry. After 3-4 years I've never heard it and I know he tries to be that pillar of stoicism. The bizarre humor is him trying to convince people he's dying as he tries to take care of business. I told him it's such a reality break for people. We know him as a strong person and to have this happen so quickly is hard for most to take. His daughters I hear are still in denial. His ex will be here tomorrow to stay for a while to help with things. I've taken over the care taker position. I know it will not be forever, but will give me more time to get all my finances in order. I got rid of at least 4k this year and finished paying off everything that was small. Only the large stuff is still around and that will be just be time to pay it off. The other part is bringing in more money for the office to actually have a stable income. I was able to increase my patient population this year a very good amount. I at least want to do that much this coming year.

At the moment its hard for me emotionally with everything. The landlord and I have been together many years now so it will be a hard loss for me. The irony is that he'll be gone long before my Mom. Depending on how he's doing will now dictate if I bring Eric down during the holidays. So I'll see how that goes.

I was happy for Asp's call today. It made me smile and she had me laughing which was just what I needed. I will be staying by her place tonight and it will be great to see her. I'm packing a bag this time. I'm use to sleeping in the nude and sleeping with my clothes on is a big change. So I packed some PJ pants in case her son comes in.

I was planning on getting some work done on my car, but I think I may what this week to see what goes on. Things are changing so fast I want to be able to get my hands on money if I need it.

The Agenda

Kind of focusing on my landlord at the moment. Doing some research revealed why they were checking his throat first since that would give his life expectancy. It will all depend on how bad that is. I'll tell him tonight I'll do the care taking of the house for him. We'll see how it all goes from there. I'm not looking forward to moving anytime soon.

Asp has started her drive back from Florida and she'll stay in Savannah tonight before coming home tomorrow. I'm happy they're stopping since it's a long haul to do all at once. I would like to see her again all in one piece. We're hoping to see each other tomorrow night. The biggest talk between her, Saturn girl, and myself is about the Photographer. It's her birthday today and I went to her FB page to leave a message and I saw that she was now in a relationship. Being nosy I checked. I'm looking at the guy's picture and he looks young, real young. So I check and he's the same age as her son. He wasn't happy when she was dating Game boy who was in his early 30's. So someone 23 years younger than herself is going to cause some problems.

I see old man winter has arrived here. It's in the forties here today and yesterday we had hail. WTF? I was driving and I heard this sound and wondered what it was. Then I saw it bouncing off the windshield. It would be cold for tonight's Christmas parade here in town. Hopefully they are timely since the parade is pretty short. Afterwards the singles and I will wander the fountain area then grab some dinner. However before all that starts L and I are going for our weekly hike. Hopefully it's not too bad down at the beach.

Sad Turn of Events

Well my landlord finally found out that he has terminal cancer today. I'm a little concerned since he hasn't been scheduled to see the oncologist yet. All he was told that it was in the esophagus, liver, and T12 of the spine. Also that it would be shorter than longer. WTF does that mean which was the topic of conversation tonight. He tried to pin the doctor down, but he wouldn't commit and specifics. So he's trying to make plans. He's asking Enigma and the kids to move out as soon as possible when they get back. He asked me to care take the place since in this market the value of the house won't be gotten. I will most likely do it since it would keep a nice roof over my head while I continue to put my own life together. However I wanted to think about it. I could win the mega millions tonight and this could be moot.

I broke tradition today and walking into a major store on Black Friday. I use to manage an electronic store so I know the insanity that can happen. It wasn't too bad since it was late in the afternoon. I did find a present for Asp which I can return if we don't make it. She loves the show Lie to Me and it was what she wanted to show me when we watched TV together. It was on sale for 60% off so it was a no brainer. I know what I can get her son if need be.

I did text my ex today asking if she had a backup to get Eric to the airport since I wanted to do a visit between Christmas and New Years. I still haven't heard anything back yet. If I have to fly up and get a ride to pick him up and return to the airport it's going to add like $350 more which would truly suck.

I got 2 nice presents today at work. One was one of my major checks came in which was awesome. The other was a patient came in from out of town who was visiting for the holidays. He told his daughter on the way out that he sees a lot of chiropractors around the country and I was one of the best if she needed one. It was really nice to hear.

Is it wrong to feel happy that Asp turned Server guy down in the past when he asked it out?

Friday is the New Monday

For the umteenth time today I've had to correct myself that it's not Monday. Michael's getting a little tired of it. The holiday yesterday has screwed with my head.

Well onto more important things. My Christmas decorations are all up at the office and my room at home. While I hate holiday shopping crowds to no end which is why I always have holiday shopping done way in advance. I have to admit Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. If I had to say I would say it's the spirit of giving. I still remember when I was 13 and had a paper route. That Christmas was the first one I had money of my own and I bought presents for everyone. I didn't even care what I got that year I was so focused and excited on how people received my gifts. Actually this is pretty interesting since my daily reader today had this same concept with love. Paraphrasing it said to get the love you are looking for you needed to give it to someone. I have to admit that kind of summed up my relationship history of trying to find someone to accept what I was giving.

While it's a beautiful sunny day it's a cold one. With the wind chill I hear it's in the 30's. L and I decided to reschedule our hike till tomorrow and warmer weather.

I got a great gift last night for my birthday. I had called Eric earlier in the day to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving and ended up leaving a message. I had given up on a response last night. However he did call and sung me happy birthday which made my day. It was also nice to hear happiness in his voice which had been absent for the last week since his mom cancelled our visit together.

I have to admit I'm missing Asp. We are still texting and talking daily, but I do miss seeing her. We've only gone out like a few weeks, but since we were seeing each other every couple of days it was nice. This forced separation is for the birds. LOL.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving one and all. I believe it's a federal law to state what I'm thankful for today. Asp and I were talking the other day on genetics and how kids just do things we did as kids. I talked about how Eric is so social and ha always been which is very different from his parents. She looked at me like and stated that I was very social. Who knows maybe I was born that way, but most of my life I've shy. So to come full circle and have overcome that defect and be a social person is what I'm thankful today.

What I'm not thankful for is the asshole that hit my car. I was walking out of 7-11 today when I noticed it and had that out of body experience when I'm wondering if it's my car. It must have been a truck since it's high up. They scraped the paint off and scraped the headlight on my passenger's side. I know it wasn't there a couple of days ago. Bastards.

I tell you for a holiday I've never seen so many people working today. The neighborhood is a buzz with people still cleaning up from the storm 2 weeks ago. The city has collections out there picking up all of it. All the Christmas tree places are setting and stocking up. Even the hairdresser was working at my Mom's place today. It's a bit surreal. If a few more places were open it would almost be a normal day.

It was nice to get a whole bunch of Happy Birthday's from everyone and thanks if you did.

The Eve Before

The landlord if taking it easy over the next few days. Hopefully we'll know if he has cancer or not on Friday. So it'll be a quiet holiday/birthday. I can track down many friends that have invited me over, but at this late date I don't know if I want to. I'm happy to break bread with close friends tomorrow, but those have all left the area for the day. So I'll just enjoy kicking back tomorrow. The one thing I realized is that I've haven't done or had done anything special for my birthday in at least 6 years when I was still married. Honestly at the point in the marriage I doubt if anything special was done, but it was probably recognized with Eric. I know Saturn girl said we'll all go out when the get back which would be nice.

Asp is feeling better, but not 100%. She says when she goes to Oklahoma to see her mom it usually takes 2 days for her allergies to calm down. The weather in Florida at the moment is unseasonable and will stay that way until they leave. Go figure. I was happy to hear that they are going to stop this time on the way home and spend the night in GA. I've done the drive before and I use to do it all at once, but after a while it's just tortuous to do it all in one feel swoop.

Misery

I see misery loves company today. Asp is sick down in Florida. I feel bad that she drove 15 hours to be sick. Hopefully the over the counter stuff works. I told her the vitamin C method to get rid of the cold and she said she would do it later, but we'll see.

Asp and Saturn girl asked if I could call Savant to see how he's doing. His mother threatened suicide this morning and is in the hospital now. She does have schizophrenia so there are a lot of underlying issues. I know he wanted to put her some place since it's gotten to hard for him to keep her at his house. Having dealt with suicide and my ex over 16 years I guess I have the experience.

OVDC was telling me that a mutual friend, the acupuncturist, lost his place in the storm last week. I'll talk to the landlord tonight to see if he's interested in renting at the moment. Since he's battling whatever is ailing him I'm not quite sure he wants to do it. Although the acupuncturist is a quiet guy and would be no problem. Actually I think we would be more of a problem, well namely the kids. He just likes quietness and he's pretty shy. Other than that he's a stand up guy and would be drama free.

I'm relaxing today with the last day of me being 42. I have a HUGE window open today in the appointment book. Early morning and evening only. I hate the holidays when it comes to work. So you know if you ever want to do anything medically this is the time of year to do it. Every one's thoughts turns to the holidays and shopping. Procedures and exams that normally need weeks of scheduling become next or same day service. This was my public service announcement.

Nap Time

Note to self: after eating a Mahi Mahi sandwich make sure to check your teeth for food. After my business lunch today which was delicious and made better since it was free. I ran back to the office to treat patients. When I got a break I went to the bathroom and while washing up looked in the mirror only to find food stuck in my teeth. Of course it wasn't anything small, but huge hunks of meat. Oh well.

I'm tired today. I decided to go to Asp's last night to nap with her. She napped much better than I did. Both her and her son like to fall asleep to the TV. What's been happening is after they're asleep I walk through the house and turn the TVs off so I can sleep. Last night I could only do Asp's since her son was staying up and would sleep during the drive. So I had a bunch of short naps which was good since I was intertwined with Asp.

About 1 Saturn girl arrived and I helped them pack the truck to get on the way. I went home to finish sleeping, but it took me a while to fall asleep. I'm feeling it this afternoon. However I'm happy they just arrived in Naples, Fl safe and sound.

Say What?

I'm still sad about the weekend change with Eric. I was talking to L about it yesterday and my mind just got all fuzzy with it. I tell you my memory has been freaking shot since Friday. I can't remember names, which side the napkin goes on, etc. While I don't mind explaining how I got here with everyone and friends it's an emotional drain. Work hasn't been bad so far, but I talk to all my patients and most of them knew he was coming. So I'll be explaining and reliving it for awhile. Oh joy.

Asp realized this morning when she got up that she sleeps better when I'm next to her in bed. I figured it was the sex, but it was nice to hear. So I'm heading over there after my meeting tonight to grab a nap with her before she leaves for Florida around midnight. I'm really wondering if any napping is going to happen.

While I'm getting use to my new Blackberry I'm realizing the battery life sucks. I just placed an order for an extra charger so I can charge it hear at work. Phone calls, texting, and cleaning up the email box cause I'm anal is draining the life so that it barely makes it through a day.

Wreckage of the Past

I'm still very sad about this weekend's turn of events. Eric even more so. Our conversations are short since he hasn't much to say. I've said this to a few people who contacted me so I should repeat it here since it will come up again. When my ex and I separated and she went back to NY it was agreed that Eric would go with her. Mostly because their was no money left. Later I figured she had syphoned it out over the previous months. I guess while I was still trying to work things out for us she was making plans for us apart. My letting her take him out of state was my giving him up in the eyes of the court and 2 judges. I've lived with that mistake over the past 5 years and events like this sting all the more because of it. As it stands now, when Eric turns 13 he can decide where he would like to live without any court battle.

So with the money I was going to spend on Eric this weekend I did my Christmas shopping for him. I got him the new Wimpy Kid book and the new Lego Indiana Jones DS game. When I schedule our next visit I want to get a backup person from my ex so that this doesn't happen again, although I know it will since I know her.

Since I was free yesterday, Asp invited me to come over and stay by her last night. Her son seems to be getting use to me when I'm there. He didn't know I slept over during the week, but since we slept late this morning he knew today. Asp is a rare sleeping partner. She's very good for snuggling with throughout the night. Not a bed hog or a flailer. She was hoping to get all that she needs to get done today before her trip tomorrow in an attempt of another night together, but it didn't pan out. Part of me is sad that it won't and the other is thinking it's better to still keep processing my feelings about Eric. I will miss having someone special to celebrate my birthday on the day. Hopefully we'll do something when she gets back.

The Empty Space

Today is like when someone passes away and you find yourself in that empty space. I had planned the whole day around Eric and now with him not here I find myself a bit lost. I'm still very sad and trying not to be a hard ass about it all. For me it's a workout to feel my feelings. While I'm angry with my ex as most of you can see I'm not ballistic. The reason for this is that it comes out her insanity instead of any malice. I can have compassion with the insanity with my anger. Over the years I've dealt enough with her malice like with the false allegations of abuse to child services.

Whoops I see I forgot to update you all. I called Eric later yesterday to see how he was and I got my ex. She apologized. Not for cancelling which is normal for her, but for not keeping me informed about her health. She had told me over the summer that she wasn't doing well. This is no surprise for me since she never took care of herself when we were married and I knew she would die a long time before I did and it would a long downward spiral. Hey when you live on coffee and Doritos this is what happens.

Mostly today I walk the fine line of calm/completely furious. Mostly because I worry about Eric. His grandfather has Alzheimer's and they live with him and now my ex is dealing with chronic illness. The stress levels for adults who deal with this stuff is through the roof. A child with two such individuals, I shudder to think about it. This is not a new scenario to play in my head since I knew some form of this would play out at some point.

So I find myself running errands today and getting a haircut. I always try for 3 months with one, but since I moved down here that has been very hard to do. Asp told me that 2 months was a long time. I'll run and see my Mom today and then probably watch DVDs. I had ordered season 5 of the Sopranos and Black Lagoon the complete series for my birthday. So its working out well to have something to do. I'm hoping to see Asp tomorrow if she catches up with her school work before she leaves for Florida. I do see the point of spreading out our dates since things can move faster in my head when we have back to back dates.

Sad, Very Sad

Eric called me today after to school to clarify his message last night. My ex is too sick and won't be able to take him to the airport. I was very upset as was Eric. I was also very angry that my ex didn't call and tell me instead of making our son do it. It's not his responsibility, but I know she wants to avoid me like the plague. The last time she pulled shit like this I let her have it with both barrels and she didn't talk to me for a year afterwards. During that time her father brought Eric to me. The only thing that changed that was that he got to sick to do it.

I'll cancel the tickets later tonight in hopes that my ex will see what this is doing to Eric and get him to the airport. I don't want to wait forever with them since I can get about 30% of the money back which I can use next time. I want to bring him down after Christmas, but as always is this shit going to happen again. Like I was telling Paul, this is why I have a hard time getting excited to see Eric. I never know if it's truly going to happen until he's standing in front of me.

Start your engines

Last night was game night with the singles. Only a few people came out, but we had fun. The place was a bit noisy with the music playing so I didn't hear when Eric called. I had called him earlier in the evening. When I got out of there I called Asp first since I knew he was asleep and she would be going to bed soon. So we chatted a while and I try to pace myself since I know I can move quickly. With Asp I'm very comfortable so I have to be especially careful.

Now the Eric voice mail was disturbing. He was upset and may have been crying it was hard to tell. He asked if I could call him cause he was going crazy about something, but I couldn't tell what. So when I called I got nothing since the answering machine wouldn't pick up. I texted my ex for clarification, but didn't get and still haven't gotten a response. Asp asked if he was still coming and I told her yes. However that was turning the key since it wouldn't be the first time my ex pulls shit. This is like growing up again. I'm unable to get excited about future stuff cause I'm waiting for shit to happen. I would like to say that she would call to tell me their is a problem, but she has had Eric tell me in the past. So I have no clue. I figure I'll hear from him when he gets out of school today. Meanwhile it's a lot of surrender on my part so I don't get a head full of anger on something I have no clue what's going on.

Date 3

Note to self: date women that sleep late in the morning. I slept over Asp's last night and 5:30 comes way too early when you stay up to midnight. She's a good sleeping companion which I find most people aren't. Whether you know it or not I'm a very physical person. So a lot of my affection is through physical acts like hair brushing or massaging. Asp is also physical so it works out well. However lying next to her this morning while I was massaging her hand in our attempts to get up. I remembered after my ex and I got married how all my touching became so irritating. It was a little healing thing this morning to know that there is nothing wrong with me. That my form of affection is okay.

The rest of the night was fun. Asp made pork chops which were delicious. Her son was more okay with me being there. We made out like teenagers for hours on end treating her son as the parent should he find us. Asp did ask if the bites were painful which I responded yes. However they did make me feel out of control which I become sexually aggressive which Asp likes. She has promised to be gentler.

I'm hoping she is able to get her all her schoolwork done by Sunday so we can see each other that night. If not it'll be another week until she gets back from Florida.

Some Fathering

I hate being torn sometimes. I know how I would act if he was with me all the time, but since he doesn't I do fold. Eric has a science investigation project this week. He choose pine cones and his teacher gave him 2 questions to investigate. He needed help getting the information. So I looked it up online for him. I realize that I'm doing the investigating and he's just putting the information together. For me this only happens twice a year that I can help him with his schooling. Even though it's something he should be doing I'm just happy to be part of it.

Asp did have a good suggestion with Eric. Here she can access her son's school grades from the Internet to keep abreast of how he's doing. I need to track down to see if I can do the same since it would allow me to be more in his life.

The Challenge

Well it was a fun and interesting night with Asp who I really should rename Jaws. She does like to cook and she made stuffed peppers which were yummy. Her son wasn't quite sure what to make of me in the house, but it went well. Asp knows I don't really watch normal TV so she wanted to show me some of her favorites. I think we only got through one show before it Asp through down the gauntlet of how sexually crazy she could make me since her son was there and we weren't going to be doing anything. When it comes to sex I'm rarely a passive person so I took up the challenge. We were two freaking pools of sweat after a few hours. She wanted me to stay and sleep there, but I wasn't ready for that with her son there.

Did I forget to mention that Asp likes to bite. The damage report this morning for someone that doesn't bruise are 3-4 on my chest. She was upset since I left a few marks on her neck. So I promised to keep them out of plain sight tonight. We decided to get together again tonight since this maybe the last time until the end of the month. Sunday is still up in the air and after that it won't be until she gets back from Florida the following week.

The funny thing while we lying around cooling off was that we both thought the other had initiated this dating thing. I thought with the texting and she thought with my sexual innuendos which I'm use to doing with her. So it was interesting, but we were both thankful for getting together.

Cold Shower

I think I'm going to need a cold shower before going over to Asp to have dinner. A break in my day and too many sexual hints playing in my mind from out texting today have run a muck in my mind. Now if her son wasn't going to be there I would care. However with him there I can't do over half the things I have in my mind.
Other than that it's been a slow day. I did pick up flowers for tonight. I was surprised that the flowers were mostly spring colors instead of fall.

Biting the 21st Century

As I've mentioned before I'm a fast mover. So when I hung up with Asp last night I was wondering if I was again moving very fast with communicating with her everyday after our 1 date. Normally I don't do that until a few dates have passed, but since Asp and I know each other for most of this year it just slid in to place nicely. I let my thoughts relax when she texted me today to see how I was doing. We caught up a little and joked especially about her biting. Personally I like an assertive woman in bed with a splash of aggression. It makes it exciting. I have a funny feeling that Asp will have me pushing some envelopes. On the non-sexual side it will be good to see her tonight.
I took another step into the 21st century today by ordering a Bluetooth for my Blackberry. My old ear piece doesn't fit and the one that came with is more for listening to music. It was funny cause my new daily reader I got for next year (yes I started early) reminded me of a year or so ago when I was watching my friend John use his Blackberry. It was something so beyond me. I don't mean technology, but worthiness to have. That realization really gave me a kick in the ass to get rid of this poverty mentality that I grew up with. Now all this stuff has become so much a part of my life and business I don't know how I could do with out.

Dating 101

I'm trying to get this week jump started. Like when people work out. If you break the routine many are lost. So with the storm many of my patients had their schedule affected and I'm trying to get them back on track. It's always a hard time.

I got to talk to Asp last night on the phone as we progressed to talking instead of texting. She has a interesting habit that she quickly explained about her phone habits. Asp yawns a lot when she's on the phone for some reason. The rate changes. At one point it seemed to be every 10 seconds and at other's a few minutes would go by. It's pretty funny. I finally remembered what that last connection to my ex was. Elton John. When she gave me those tidbits of information in a tight ball. I laughed on the inside.

I tell you I might describe myself as spontaneous in a relationship, but it's how I just let my feelings drive me. Looking at it, its probably not the greatest way to go. I like making decisions instead of being unconscious monkey looking for his next food pill. It's probably why my relationships move fast since I'm wanting to do a lot of things together fast. The excitement is there, but the deep roots aren't. So I'm trying to learn my lessons this time around. As usual I get a lot from the women I date.

I'm slowly conquering my Blackberry. It's taking time, but I'm getting there. I wish I could personalize my calender a little more, but what I have now isn't bad. I can see why they call it crackberry. All the fun stuff is done very well. I just use more of the business stuff which is pretty bland.

Habits

I was surprised that L picked up that I was off today. I'm a man of habits and mine have been off for many days now. The storm started it all, but what really kicked it into high gear was getting a new phone and spending hours and do mean hours getting it to do what I want. Server guy was able to help me sync my Outlook and I'm getting the hang of everything else, but it's taken time. Time that I spend on doing my normal stuff and when I can't do that I get stressed. Even my date with Asp knocked me more off. I was expecting 3 maybe 4 hours tops together. 8 hours later and my day was gone. I'm not complaining since I had a good time, but I would have planned better.

On the subject of Asp, she's the first women to have a preteen child that I've dated. Any other woman I've dated has had kids in the 20's or older teenagers that didn't need babysitting. So this is going to take some getting use to. Scheduling our time for when she can get a babysitter. It's a whole new world for me and will take some getting use to. Since I'm pretty spontaneous. The good from all this is that it will teach me patience in a relationship. Either that or I'll go insane. Asp did invite me over Tuesday night to have dinner with her son. I've met the boy before, but in all of this I'm letting her make the rules with her son. I'm not quite sure what her rules are on this topic. I'll be happy to see her since I'll have Eric Saturday. She'll be gone all next week and the first weekend in December I'll be in Williamsburg for a seminar. So the pace of this budding relationship is going to be different than I'm use to.

L and I got to do our hike today which was perfect since it was finally sunny and the temp topped off at about 70. I got to see a lot of the destruction caused by the storms which was quite severe on the beach. Most of the bulkheads for the homes were completely destroyed.

Snake Charming

Last night's Meet & Greet got cancelled due to lack of power at the place. My intention is to reschedule for next month and make it a holiday event. So Savant, Asp, Saturn girl, and I got together to play games and eat Chinese food. As always we had a blast. However I was trying to gauge Asp with what I thought of her and I wasn't getting a big chemistry vibe. So I didn't have any high hopes for today's date.
The storm had closed the museum we were going to go to so I suggested the place where we first me many months ago. We went to play pool. On the drive there the first thing I realized was how relaxed I felt around her. We both stunk at pool so we had a fun time, but conversation was low. Afterwards I asked if she was hungry and we grabbed some dinner. It was there when the conversation really took off. While I've hung out with Asp numerous times, this was the first one on one time. I liked that she had worked to come out of her social shell and didn't want to go back. She was working on her business degree and has plans to open her own business. Asp has strong values that she fights for in the community which I was very impressed with. On the flip side I had a moment that I joked with myself that I was dating my ex. Just a few random facts came up together like her past panic attacks, astigmatism, and I can't for the life of me remember what the cherry on the cake was.

Anyway after dinner I excused myself to go to the bathroom. While using the facilities I thought about what I wanted to do. Usually I go with that strong flood of emotion with someone which wasn't here with Asp. However their was a good calm feeling that I liked and never experienced before. So I decided to go forward with this relationship.
While I knew Asp liked me it was hard reading her body language and cues. So while we were hanging out at her place talking I didn't know how she would react if I kissed her. I took it slow since I've gotten many different responses over the years. I shouldn't have bothered. Boy did she kiss me back. Then she found out that I was ticklish which prompted her to tickle me. In retaliation I just kissed her more. This quickly escalated to me trying to restrain and kiss her at the same time she was trying to tickle and bite me. Good thing I don't bruise easy. Now I know why we joked about the handcuffs.

LDS

Well my first patient rescheduled so I went to the gym. On my way back into the office I noticed some wall anchors on the ground. It was then that I realized that my sign was gone, ripped right off the wall. I had saw on the main wall at the entrance to the parking lot that building 2 had lost their directory. I thought finally ours was left alone. Oh well I got hit personally this time. I'm going to need to order a new one later.

As you can see I'm bored so I changed my template around for the blog. It was about time since I hadn't changed it around for awhile.

My Meet & Greet is shrinking like a guy with (LDS) Limp Dick Syndrome. I understand the people from the peninsula cancelling since it's a trek. It's the one reason I try to avoid dating up there. However many people are giving me the reason they have to work late due to the storm. I guess they are making up work although most people I know are off today. All I know it will be nice to have some fun to make up for the last few days.

Day 3

Well the storm is finally over. This is a picture from L where we usually go hiking. It did a lot of damage through the area and some of it is still underwater. We had a lot of big trees down in the area and I have to admit the city was good about getting them chopped up and out of the way quickly. We did lose electricity at the house last night. So we all went out for dinner which turned out to be a real problem. Dennys had lost part of their roof, Boston Market had closed up because they could, and Wendy's was just doing drive through. Hardees was the only thing open that would let us in which was a mixed bag since the power kept going on and off while we were there. It finally went out while we were eating. The power was still out this morning when I got up early so I headed on in to work.

Today is a pretty good day at work if everyone comes in which I hope for two reasons. One is that I'm bored stiff. It's been slow with the storm and I need to keep active. The other is I can use the money since no one coming in means no money is coming in.

Tonight is our big Meet & Greet. We were in the thirties for RSVPs, but that has been fluctuating with the weather so we'll see. Honestly it's not too bad out there now to drive unless you're in a flood zone. By tonight it should be back to normal.

I tell you sometimes I don't like being a chiropractor. I got home and checked my Facebook account and I saw that Asp had hurt her back in the bad weather. I don't mind treating people I date just as long is it's after we start dating. I texted her to see how she was and offer her my services. She thanked me and said she would be okay which I was happy about. It will be interesting tonight to have her at the event while I circulate. Especially since I wanted to talk to certain women at the event. Oh well.

Hardships

Well it's day 2 of our big Northeaster and what's left of Ida. We're suppose to get 8+ inches of rain over 3 days. This is day 2. Schools, bridges, and tunnels are closed sporadically through the area. The worse? High speed Internet is down in the office. It's one of my joys of coming in to the office. I can enjoy dial up at home. I didn't even make it out of my neighborhood this morning before I had reviewed my messages and it was a dead day at the office. I really had to wonder why the hell I was going in. Well since no one will be in today I figured I'd clean everything which lasted about 20 minutes before I said it's good. I do have to do a few more things to my extra room since I have a yoga teacher coming in tomorrow to check it out for renting which would be really cool.

I see I'm in virgin territory with Asp. You know that saying of be friends first before you start to date. When I was younger most of my friends believed in that. I never bought into the 5 year plan of asking someone out. Honestly I thought it was the chicken shit way. However I realized today on Facebook that we both know each other for a while and some of the basics are already covered, but spotty. The other is that I believe Asp has built me up in her mind. She was replying to me and said oh I'm sure you could. It was the way she said it and it was after a sexual joke. This is going to be an interesting date.

For some reason I'm on Inverse's shit list. She ignored my greetings last night and just walked right past me. Whatever. I'll just be happy when she's gone.

Wet Wednesday

Boy am I tired today. The business group I help on Wednesdays cancelled their meeting and didn't tell me. I could have slept in this morning. With the schools closed the house was quiet and I could have slept late. Boy am I pissed, more because I know they cancelled on some lame excuse.

Sunday is Inverse's last day in the house. The landlord is keeping her on a short leash right now since she threatened to kill him yesterday, burn the house down, smash everything, etc. The good thing is I haven't seen her in days, but I'll be home for dinner tonight so who knows.

I have a little fear that Asp or our friends will ask why it took so long for me to ask her out. I hate to say the truth that the options came down to telling her I'm not interested or just go on a date. I chose the latter. I know we can joke around very well so I'll see if we can be a bit serious.

We have serious storm conditions here for the next 3 days with expectations of 8 inches of rain. The next city over has closed their flood gates. This whole area is really just a swamp so flooding is a major problem. For me it's just trying to navigate some lunch today without being drenched.

I Caved

The last few singles events Asp and I have somehow ended up texting back and forth afterwards. They always are a play of sexual innuendo. Tonight I realized that Asp means business here with going out with me. It has become a mission so I asked her out. I have to admit we joke around like two adolescents so it will be a fun time. It it flies great if not at least it will be settled. Since the weather will be rainy for the foreseeable future I suggested the Chrysler art museum which has become one of my standby date places. Who knew?

The Man in the Green Hat

I didn't think I would end this day texting back and forth with Asp on the size of my cowboy hat and me playing with her buttons. You know I should probably just go out with her and be done with her. However I know its just not a positive thing and I work so hard to go in a good direction. But flirting is fun and I do get a kick out of it.

The singles and I went to see Julie and Julia. Who knew it was a chick flick? LOL. I really didn't think about it before hand, but when it was me and 6 women it kind of gave it away. It was a good movie and romantic movies do work on me. I watch and want to be in a relationship. The food part did nothing for me. I just don't enjoy eating that much. I admit that I'm much better than I use to be with it. For a long time it was just nutrition to keep me alive, but I do enjoy eating now.

I'm holding on to the last amounts of my money that I got last week since I like having the feeling of having it. I need to pay bills tomorrow to keep up to date, but I have to admit I've been enjoying the high of having money for the last several days.

At the moment I'm waiting to see if Asp wants to try my cowboy hat on to see if its a good size for her.

Sunday Happenings

Well Asp and I randomly emailed back and forth today, but as usual things are steamier at night. However I did get a wake up call coming out of Walmart today. A single mom, no ring, and her teenage son were walking in. I smiled at her and I got a great shy smile back from her. Those things just light my world up. If she didn't have her son with her I would have asked her out. I may ask women out in interesting places/times, but with her son right there was too much for me.

I went to the Funny Bone tonight. A newbie was suppose to come, but he didn't show up and I was iffy on staying. However L and her date showed up and I sat with them. It was no hardship for me since a couple sat next to us and the woman had the most exquisite breast I've ever seen and I'm not a breast man. Anyway just so you know L is nuts so I won't have to explain why she's out with a bipolar alcoholic who doesn't know when to shut up. This was there 3rd date and he hasn't tried anything with her. After I met him I knew why. He had joined my singles group not to long ago and when I saw his picture I thought this guy is gay. So I passed this little info on to L who is wondering what's going on since he already dropped her off without even a kiss after she pretty touchy feely with him at the Funny Bone.

How did I get here?

You know it's always interesting when you start in one place and end up in another. Asp and I were joking back and forth about bringing games to future games night. Well somehow we're on handcuffs and blindfolds. I know it's one of her fantasies so I guess I'm only partially to blame. Now I might actually have to pick a pair up.

The Long and Bumpy Road

Well it was an interesting trip down the road of life today. I was flying pretty high after I had set Eric's trip up. It would be a costly 24 hours since the transportation cost were set and it didn't matter how much time he would stay with me. However if my ex is good with taking him to the airport then future trips on his vacations ie. Christmas vacations would be awesome.

It was a little cooler than expected today, but it was still a great day for a walk on the beach. I did notice that L was a bit off today. So after a while I asked a few questions and she spilled the beans. Last week a married man she knew came onto her. For some reason she reciprocated and then sanity came back to her when he went to the bathroom. So she hightailed it home. However since they know each other he just went to her house. She ended up sleeping with this guy. While she's not proud of the whole incident their was major collateral damage. L's friend of 20 years after she informed him of what happened ended their friendship which devastated her. I skirted the adultery issue and stuck with the loss of a friendship. While I'm good at many things, strong emotions are still difficult for me. Whether they be mine or someone elses. So from my high with Eric, to this issue with L was a major swing for me.

Then it was off to Game night with the singles. We had a huge crowd tonight. During the event I got a text saying there was a problem with the trip and to call Eric. Let me tell you "WTF" was not equal to what I was thinking. Especially when I called and Eric was like everything was okay. However after we talked I found out he had thought we were only seeing each other for an hour instead of the 24. So with that straightened out we said we'd talk again tomorrow. I'm happy to have it all settled, but I was shaky afterwards.

I can't tell if Asp is trying to say she's interested. With her it's like 6th grade and she's picking on me. While I think she's attractive, I don't think our personalities match. We have a good ole time at events making jokes, but it reminds me of years ago when my ex and I use to bond over picking on people. I dropped it since I didn't think it was healthy behavior. While we have fun poking fun at each other in the group I don't think it's something to build on. If she wasn't in the group maybe a short fling would be fun, but I don't like making waves since I run it.

Mixed Blessings

Well I finally heard from my ex this morning. I was happy that she would take Eric to the airport. The limitations were that it had to be when the nurses aide was with her dad which limited flights. So I'll have Eric for 24 hours instead of 48 in 2 weeks. I'm not happy about the loss of day, but if she'll now take him I can set up visits during his week long vacations which will be awesome. So I'm very happy.

I've taken another step into the 21st century. I forget I have free unlimited Internet access with my cell phone. So I finally hooked up my email to my phone last night which was very sweet. I only had one bump in the road with it taking over one of my buttons. Now it's trying to get my Facebook mobile going.

As the usual goes here with our crazy weather. It was 40 during the night and it'll be in the 60's today. Tomorrow almost 70. So I'll head out with L today to hike on the beach and then Game night tonight.

What a Strange Feeling

Did I already say I'll be happy when Inverse is gone? She's got some weird painting gig now that the guy is paying her on how well he thinks she did. Hey even prostitutes know to get the full amount, not on whether you liked it or not. She was up way too early this morning making way too much racket in the kitchen. I'm tired today. Since so many people rescheduled I started the day relaxed by heading to Starbucks to read. Since I couldn't sleep this morning and I have to hit the ground running tomorrow I felt like treating myself.

I'm still awaiting a response from my ex. I'll repeat the text daily until I hear something. I informed Eric that his mom and I were discussing details so he'll ask her about it also. I don't like to bring him into our stuff, but then everything usually falls to me which makes it look like I'm the one unable to make it happen. Hey when it's my fault I don't mine, but when it's not mine I don't want the responsibility which my ex is great at throwing at me.

I tell you I can't remember the last time my bill box was empty. It looks freaking weird let me tell you. I need to pay for 2 more things Monday and then I should be back in the groove again. Actually I need to correct that I still need to pay rent here at the office, but I should be able to do that by next Friday. I did take $30 and order a few things off of Half.com for myself for my birthday to balance it all out.

That was fast

Well Inverse is 2 months ahead of schedule. She's moving out. While I'll miss the T&A shots I get I'll be much happier without all the arguing between her and the landlord. I don't need to hear my parents arguing again. Inverse has flat out said that she won't listen to any of the landlord's suggestions and as usual she's not around for her daughter. Lost is falling way behind in school again. She had to make up kindergarten during the summer. So the plan is for them to move back to Inverse's parents so she can go back to school. There are some major holes in this plan you could drive a semi through. While I don't worry about Inverse I do worry about Lost since I see how Inverse parents raised her. However it's way beyond me. I think I'll keep the no sex policy up with her since she maybe something to look at, but everything else doesn't do it for me.

Well I thought we were going to have a big family Thanksgiving this year, but I see that's not happening. Enigma and family are going away for the holidays and with Inverse gone it'll just be the landlord and myself. I may visit friends that day also since it's my birthday, but we've done it before.

Still no word from my ex. What sucks is that the longer this goes on the higher the ticket prices go up. I'm definitely not buying anything before hand. I learned that lesson the hard way when we were married.

Finally

Woohoo! I finally got a big check. My hear be still. Now I'm doing my damnest to spend it all. Actually it's just catching up with bills. The biggest thing is seeing Eric. I just texted my ex about the dates. Now I'm waiting with my guts all churned up since last visit didn't happen because she wouldn't drive him to the airport. Since I didn't have the money to pay to transport them both to the airport and back it didn't happen. I have the sick feeling this will now be the new stumbling block to us getting together. I can't believe after all these years of getting Eric ready to fly so we could see each other more often that this will be the problem.

Pink Day

When OVDC has a cancellation she colors it pink in her appointment book. When you get a bunch of them you have a pink day. Since I just delete them from my schedule, I'm computerized, I've taken her term. It was like freaking dominoes here this morning. One after another until my whole morning was free and so was my early afternoon. Seriously WTF? It does come in waves and this has been a tsunami week or at least the last 2 days. So I'll have to pay my rent tomorrow and tell the landlord that tonight. I hate that.

One thing I truly hate are phone books. We have like 4-5 different ones here for some ungodly reason. So about every 3-4 months we get a new stack of these books. Now I know why the Amazon rain forest is disappearing. I can barely stand my copy, but since we have 3 other suites in my hallway which are empty. I get to find a stack of these mothers blocking the door. I have no where to toss these piles of crap except across the lot at the dumpster.

Kids and their perceptions. Lost likes to crawl on my shoulders when I sit down to either play with the kids or read to them. For some reason she always has to point out that I'm losing hair. I try to explain it to her, but it doesn't seem to sink in. It's not like the landlord isn't bald so I'm not quite sure what it is.

Behind the 8 Ball

Since I got divorced money has been tight and I've gotten use to it. However this year some of my debt caught up with me and I had to pay it off. I was use to not having anything after I paid bills off, but now I'm just playing catch up and I'm hating it. It's become very tiresome. I'm going to need to ask the landlord for an extra day to pay the rent since 3 cash patients rescheduled to next week. I hate having to do it even though I know he'll say okay. If you haven't noticed I like things going smoothly. I'm happy that Geico requested my tax ID number which means they'll be paying me soon which will be some much needed funds to catch up on bills.

Speaking of bumps. I don't know if it's my struts in my car or what, but boy is my car creaking now with the start of the cold weather. Oh well something else to add on to the bill list.

It's Real and It's Spectacular

Amazing but true, Matel is actually producing Sugar Daddy Ken for the Barbie Palm Beach line. I guess the company has finally admitted that Barbie is a slut and this is what young women should look for in a man. So I guess they board room realized they did enough damage with the body image thing for the last 50 years and weren't going to get anymore out of that dead horse. So what else can we screw with? Hey we're old men with money. We like young hot women. This is the ultimate idea! Training 101 for Sugar Babies. No information was disclosed on the Palm Beach Barbie line, but hey that was probably another article.

Starbuck Revelations

Welcome to a story about a girl, Starbucks, and me. Since my birthday is later this month I'm starting to get all the free stuff to all the places I frequent and even a few that I don't. Since it was a rainy, damp day yesterday and a few hours to kill I decided I'd use my free Starbucks coupon. So I'm sitting there when this woman walks in that I think is very attractive. Nothing new I know. She noticed me and kept on going. It was then I realized I had seen her the week before working on something with another woman. I had thought she was very attractive then and with no ring to boot. Anyway her friend showed up, who by the way has a nice butt, but (no pun intended) doesn't do anything else for me. So in my usual fashion of examining everything I looked at this pair and I was stuck by something very quickly. The woman I like looks very haggard while her friend is very put together. This quickly appears on my radar since it's been a very long time since I've been attracted to a fix up job. You know the type the one that you'll help, they'll love you for the rest of their life, yada yada yada. While I had no feeling of wanting to help her, the way she carries herself is different from any women I've been attracted to in a long time. Okay I admit I'm anal with this stuff. However I know how ingrained my bad habits were and I have a healthy fear that they will slip in the back door when I'm not watching.

On a positive note Inverse announced that she is now dating the guy who's been coming to the house a few times. So hopefully I'm off her radar, but I doubt it.

How Do I Love Thee ...

I tell you I might enjoy the extra hour of time this weekend, but not when I forget about it. I was good an adjusted all the clocks in my room as well as my watches. What did I forget? I forgot the one in my car. I was running errands today and suppose to meet the singles for a movie at 4:30. I got there with perfect timing to be informed that the movie wouldn't be starting for another hour. It was then that I realized my mistake. Nothing like finding out you have an hour to kill on a damp, rainy day. Today's movie was 9. It was an enjoyable movie and perfect with this kind of weather.

It was interesting. When I mentioned last night that I had decided not to go out. Inverse stated that I should go out and possibly meet the woman of my dreams. Jeez I must be getting old cause that boat has sailed. I have spiritual qualities of what I would like in a woman, her values and perspectives. However that image I had when I was young and I'm not quite sure I had one then is not in my head anymore.
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