Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Pizza Drama

Working with pizza means working with not the brightest crayons in the box. The pettiness, bickering, etc. is truly amazing. For me its just pizza. While we all have a screw loose somewhere Car Girl and Ark Man seem to create the most. Mostly since they try to sneak extra orders for more money. You never know what your going to get and it's not going to be more than $5. So your going to screw someone else over for $5? So anyway Car Girl got into a heated discussion with another driver and Ark man got pissed at me. Usually I go along with his plan since I'm easy going, but usually I end up getting screwed. So tonight I declined and I ended up getting the extra order than him. Oh boy did I hear it. He still wasn't talking to me when I left. All of this is like who the hell cares, but Ark man is a rager and after our little incident I could feel myself anxious. That switch that would start the old tapes playing was not thrown, but I could feel it wanting to. To start the whole chaos factor in my head. I've dealt with this kind of crap growing up and in my marriage. I've got enough experience to know what to do and I took care of myself. It was just weird to have it come up at pizza of all places.

So all this gave me plenty of time to come up with some new rules for ordering pizza. Now I know you would think it would be an easy thing, but let me tell you it's not.

  1. Be home - do not call from someplace else and hope to be there first. Don't suddenly realize wait I just ordered a pizza and have no money and need to run to the bank. Lastly don't run out for anything until the pizza arrives.

  2. Be dressed - unless your a hot looking women that we won't care. Put some clothes on. WTF? Does ordering a pizza make you really horny? Do you have to have sex with your SO at that moment? Can't you wait to beat the bishop until after the food arrives.

  3. Listen for the doorbell - You've ordered food. Someone is going to deliver it to you. Maybe listening for a knock or your own doorbell so that you can actually get the food would be helpful. When the driver has to call to get you to open the damn door you should tip more.

  4. Realize it's not free - when you pick up the phone a order a pizza the pizza fairy doesn't come a bring you your food. A driver with a screw loose does. Don't wait till you open the door to fully realize, "hey I have to pay for this" and "where the hell is my money?"

  5. It is not the appropriate time to hand out religious material - yeah I know you're the new age Jehovah's witness. Getting people to actually come to your door and be a captive audience, but believe me pal the tip isn't worth what your handing out.

2 people had cathartic therapy:

What???? I can't be naked when I answer the door for the pizza guy? Damn Mike.. you take *all* the fun out of things for me. ;)


I usually answer the door naked when I order Thai food. I also sometimes call when I'm away from home, then I race home, get undress and that's when the door bell rings. See...its not that I'm crazy and I want to be naked. It's that when I change out of my work clothes, I never have time to put something on.

Okay I've said enough.

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