Good News - Bad News

Hey the good news. A woman asked me out today.

The bad news. She's married.

Haven't had to turn a women down in a while, but I still got it.

TMI Tuesday

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about? I like it under, but I seem to be out voted in the house. I'm not going to change it if I see it the other way though.
2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down? I put everything down. More aesthetically pleasing that way.
3. When was the last time you kissed someone not your significant other? [I am talking about a kiss with some gusto not just a little hello or goodbye peck] I don't remember so it's been a while
4. Would you rather have you significant other (this can be a hypothetical SO) have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else? [You have to pick one.] Wow a hard one. I would say sex cause you can work back from that. The love one that's about it.
5. If you had $1,000,000 to give away, how would you divide it up? Who and how much? I would put it in trust for my son so he would continually have a source of income.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us something that very few people know about you. I've never ever had a bloody nose in my life.

Disgusting Sounds & Smells

I had a business meeting over at Starbucks today. When it ended I hung out to finish up my new direction in marketing after getting all the new information. This old man shuffles over and sits in the chair next to me. I could sense he was trouble, but didn't know what form it would take. Anyway about 5-10 minutes later he finishes his Frapacino. He then proceeds to use the next five minutes sucking up every last drop of the stuff in the cup. 10 seconds I'm good, 20 seconds your pushing it, and 30 plus you're asking for a ass beating. I looked over at the guy to say something, but he looked so clueless I figured this might be his only enjoyment so I kept my mouth shut.

I won a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory. I had drinks with L on our second date there. The light was dim and we were all over each other so I didn't really see how it looked inside. I have to admit I was pretty impressed. The food I got was okay. I used the men's room there and before I got there I was wondering what the smell was. When I opened the door I almost expected my flesh to dissolve the bombing was that intense. I was surprised as held my breath as I went inside that it didn't have some kind of fresher system. It was just some dark gas chamber.

My perfectionism kicked in this morning after my business meeting. Even though my presentation was really well liked by everyone I learned today what I had missed on and why it didn't generate a lot of business. I couldn't hear all the good stuff that was said about me because I was focusing on what I had failed to do even though I had never learned what was taught today. So I'm trying to take it as a learning lesson in which I'll have plenty more chances to get right.

Monday Monday

I got to work today and I turned on my PDA and nothing happened. I fiddled around with it for a while and still nothing. I was starting to get angry and worried. Then I thought when was the last time I charged this thing? When I couldn't remember and I knew it was way before the Stevie Nicks concert over a month ago I figured the battery went dead. I was amazed on how depend I had become on it to keep all my appointments. Happy to say it is working and charging at the moment.

My ex texted me today to inform me she had mailed out the divorce papers. So I was happy to tell my attorney he'll have them tomorrow and this can finally be over with.

After a long day in the office today I escaped over to Starbucks to finish up my marketing work. As soon as I walked in I was attracted to this woman who was sitting with her friend/business associate working on their laptops. I knew in a flash why I was attracted to her. She looked so much like the Latina I dated years ago. It was a very weird relationship, but the sex was awesome. My gibbering monkey brain had no problem meshing the two in my mind. However frequently looking over at her had no affect. I got a better response for the woman in her 50's that walked in. Even when her friend left and she was left alone, boy did she keep her attention on that laptop. Now before I get a bunch of comments I was looking to the point that she should have been calling the cops. Just enough for her to know I was interested. In my younger days I probably would have gone for it anyway. However older me I like to think is wiser and decided if she couldn't even give me a glance and a smile I was going to really be starving in a relationship. Although I did get a glance on the way out.

Sunday the Good & the Bad

We've been plagued by daily severe thunderstorms here. Friday it blew out my landlords stuff (TV and phone). The funny part is that it was only his stuff, no one else's in the house. So he installed a temporary phone for himself, but it's upstairs and it rang at 6:22 am. Hopefully his stuff will be fixed tomorrow.

With all this rain the humidity is like 200%. Every time I walked out of the AC today my glasses would just fog up. It was so freaking annoying to suddenly go blind when I got out of the car or the store.

On the good side I got to sleep the morning away which is something I haven't done in a while. Also I found out I knocked off 2% off my body fat so that I'm down to 18% which I'm happy to stay at. If I lose a couple of more points great, but don't want to go up.

WTF & Other Stuff

Well I got up this morning and was like wow I don't have to work to whole weekend. Neither job. WTF? This does not compute. I can't believe how alien it feels. So I went to see the new Potter film. I enjoyed it although I am not a big fan of the movies it was good none the less. I thought their casting of Luna Lovegood was great.
Anyway I get out of the theater and their is a message from my attorney. He was like we need to subpoena your wife since she hasn't signed the papers. It's been over 2 months and it just can't sit in court. They will dismiss it and you'll have to start all over again. Okay I'm pissed. I really don't have the extra cash for the subpoena, but it is a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for the divorce again. So I called my ex and told her the story. She apologized and said she had been really obnoxious about getting it done. I told her I would subpoena her long before I paid for another divorce. She promised to over night it Monday. I have to admit I was furious afterwards. For me to be that angry I knew something was wrong inside of me. Looking at it I realized I had dropped back to the expectation that my ex would do the right thing like she said 2 months ago. She said she just needed to walk around the corner to get is signed. WALK AROUND THE FUCKING CORNER! But as always she doesn't do the right thing hence we are not together. So if by Wednesday we don't have the said papers I'll go forth with the subpeona.

I was finally able to finish of the last Potter book. It was good, but not my favorite of the series which is the Prisoner of Azkaban.

The Harry Potter Secret is Out!

MySpace

I don't go onto MySpace that often, but like today I was sending a friend a birthday greeting. I'm on maybe a minute, but then it happens. All these girls just want to know me. Today it was seven at a time. My email box getting full sounded like machine gun fire. What am I to do?

3 Year Anniversary

Well today's the day. Three years ago today the Vanella family split. (Read here) I'm happy to say that today is just another day. A lot has happened since then. Many court battles, many times wondering where I would get food, where I would live? I've learned a lot along the way, made good friends, and found the blog world. Life has never been the same.

A Confession

Okay I started doing it because everyone was talking about it. Now I can't go a day with out it. I'm talking about Craigslist personals. It's more funnier than my daily funnies I send out. And it's not the bot stuff, you can read Penthouse letters for that stuff. No the real people's ads. I can't believe what I'm reading flashes through my mind every time I look as I'm LMAO. Don't look unless you want to be hooked. Although I don't read the guys stuff so I don't know if their as freaky as the women.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Jobs I've Had ....

1. Newspaper delivery - My first job as most kids did, although I think it's become and adults job now, at least in my area


2. Movie usher - this was a great high school job. Free movies, popcorn, soda.


3. Factory worker - you need one of these jobs to know I don't want to do this


4. Telemarketer - found I don't like sales


5. Camp counselor - Get paid to play what more can you want


6. Construction - need some extra money these are plentiful


7. School bus driver - want the middle of the day free then this is the job to have


8. Vacuum cleaner salesman - reminded me how much I hate sales


9. Managed electronics store - this was in the mall and it really destroyed my want to hang out in one


10. Jewelry repair and delivery - after finding out much the stuff really costs and how much the mark up is. It's so hard to buy anymore.


11. Valet driver - I have to admit one of the better side jobs I ever had. Good money , kept me in shape, and relatively easy.


12. Pizza delivery - besides burning my hand it's been fun


13. Chiropractor - I do love what I do

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The Hand

Well my hand is pretty okay today. No horrible disfigurement that would warp my mind causing me to take on some secret identity to destroy all pizza establishments in my insane rage. A first degree burn and it feels different where it was burned. I was able to work out this morning no problem. I did awake this morning with the histamine rush of being burned on the left side of my body. It is very heat sensitive and I'll see how it is carrying pizzas tonight.

Slowly making my way through the new Potter book and about half way through it. No rush though since I like to enjoy my books and I have nothing waiting after this one.

Pizza Hot

Well it was slow at hell at the pizza place tonight so I figured I'd burn my hand. I was manning the oven and I was taking out one our cinnamon swirls on the paddle. My manager walks in between me and the counter so I stop, but the swirl doesn't. So I try to angle the paddle, but it keeps going and flies off. For some strange reason I figured I should catch it after it had been the 500 degree oven. My hand got drenched in the cinnamon mixture. Let me tell you it F*CKING hurt! It still does, but grabbing a nice cold can of soda soothes it. I also always forget how good aloe feels on a burn.

TMI Tuesday

Well it's TMI Tuesday again. If you would like to join in the fun use the link on the side of the page.

1. Leather, lace or silk? On me I would say silk

2. Do you subscribe (or regularly buy) to any "dirty" magazines? Which ones? No, but I do have a preference for Penthouse

3. Have you ever had sex in water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)? no

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are playful, attentive, and spontaneous. Three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are assertive, playful, and a little loud.

5. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved" him/her, because of a romantic gesture, a newly wed or other (please describe because I can't think of what an "other" might be)? I was in love, but the better part of the story was that I planned to have sex with my girlfriend on Saturday. My friends and I had talked about it, but one idiot of a guy a knew went and told her. She was upset and I was livid. I remember sitting through the whole movie of Harry Met Sally thinking okay how am I going to kill this guy.

Bonus (as in optional): Name three words that:

a) get you excited? a soft moan

b) make you squirm? can't think of any words that do that

c) make you laugh? it's all in the presentation

Full House

Well the intern decided to pass on staying with us. My landlord went with the Quiet Guy and his son Mini me. They'll be moving in sometime in the next week. Mini me is a nice kid and I don't see any problems with him,but Quiet Guy needs to say something, maybe a good swift kick in the shins. My female housemate will be back in the house tomorrow and I've been trying to think of a name for her. I guess I'll go with Port Girl short for Portuguese Girl. So the house will be full, but we don't know if Quiet guy will be eating with us and Mini me is only there 6 days out of the month.

As my friend Paul would say "no surprise". I took the vice president position for my BNI group. I wanted the president position, but everyone knows that I am very organized (not neat though) and that what was needed for the position. I did find out that the person who took the president position would only do so if I took the VP position. One thing I realized this morning is that I still have a hard time with praise which I was given by several people today at our meeting. I'm not uncomfortable with it, but I don't preen like I feel I should, but who knows.

Terminal Velocity

After a long or rather quick weekend I find myself in a better mental state today. Nothing has changed money wise, but my attitudes have compensated. When I am in a lot of emotional pain I feel the want to isolate and feel separated from the rest of the world. Like a child that thinks no one is as bad off as he. I think that realization was my turning point yesterday. I've been in this spot enough times in the last 3 years to truly despise it, but to know it is not the end of the world. I remembered an acquaintance that was losing the battle with cancer and it reminded me of all the things I am grateful for. One of the bigger ones was how I handle this all now. Years ago I would of though of blowing my head off than deal with it. So progress is there especially when I can think of dating again. Still can't afford anything, but at least my mind has pulled out of its pity party death spiral.

The Runway is Now Clear

Well I finally finished my other book and now I am ready to read the last Harry Potter book.

Dinner Time

In a weird circumstance I was didn't have to work tonight so I was home for dinner. My landlord had invited several potential renters for dinner tonight. It's been a while since we had a lot of people at the table. I believe the last time was Thanksgiving. Anyway it was fun, but one thing that was always weird to me was very evident to me. The mini me syndrome. Fathers that name their kids after them. Tonight it was Edwin and little Edwin and John and little John. Jeez your kid is a separate entity give him a different name. I remember when my son was born I was asked a lot if I was naming him Michael and when I said "no" their faces showed confusion. It's a concept I just don't get. I wonder if it is something from a time gone by when property was transferred from father to son and it was a lot easier if you just had the same name since no one could write anyway.

So the only female here tonight only needs a place to stay for a month before she goes back to Yale. I think she will be taking a extra room that my landlord will make up for her. Both guys had some issues that my landlord doesn't think will work out so we will see. The bigger news is my house mate Mal will be moving back in with us full time. I've been back here for just about a year and she hasn't slept here more than a dozen times in that period. It will be weird having another person here. She was the best housemate not being here. Since our rooms are right next to each other I hope she has gotten over her snooze alarm and hitting it a dozen times cause that gets real old real fast. It will be nice to have her back though since we do get along pretty well.

Fencing

It's funny when people find out I fence they thing it's the coolest thing in the world. I have mixed thoughts on the hobby. While you just can't beat stabbing someone with 3 feet of steel it's murder on my flat feet. I think it is worse than a step aerobics class. My biggest complaint with the sport are the rules. This is fighting right? Two people walk in, one walks out. Correct? I've done stick fighting and kung fu over the years with a little boxing thrown in. Besides no killing or maiming, rules were pretty sparse. So entering another fighting sport to be told all these rules is a pretty hard thing. Actually I haven't fenced in about 2 months. I sprained my wrist doing it and since I constantly use my wrist at work to adjust it really doesn't get better fast. So I've been taking time off. I'll see if I go back in a month or two.

One - Two Punch

Well as you may know I got pounded at the car mechanic the other day. I should have done the work myself. Mechanics are getting like medical doctors. Can't tell you shit unless they run some expensive test. So after the did their diagnostic and some other mumbo jumbo It added and extra $100 to the bill. Jeez just pull a gun on me next time so I get the full experience of being robbed.

Anyway on my way to Potter mania last night I got me second unexpected bill and I am happy to say my bank account is now empty with 10 more days to go to the end of the month. I really hate it when this shit happens. So I really wasn't in the greatest of moods for the book release, but I got it anyway. However stress was crushing me and by 7 this morning I had to deal with it. Any money I could have pulled out of my ass was done so, long ago. So the only thing that had changed was my attitude which I knew wasn't that positive. I ran down the few options I have which really amounted to bills being paid late, which I detest. Doesn't make me a bad person, just a poor one. It allowed me a few more hours of sleep. I am grateful that I don't feel destitute today, but I feel isolated by the pain I still have.

OUCH!

That's not really the sound I made when I heard how much for my car at the mechanic. When he gave me the list of everything they could do for my car and he told me $565 I was like lets cut it back. Most things he said I could do myself. However new plugs would be a pain so with the diagnostic and and a few other things I got him down to three and change. That sound? That's the sound of my stomach tightening up to the size of a freakin' raisin. When money is at an all time low a car expense like this really sucks.

Having the next two days of deadness around the office doesn't help. Today besides paperwork and marketing I have a few appointments with some women who want to use me for business. I must be doing something wrong since no women want to use me for sex. Well I do have an networking event tonight. I'm not a big fan of this one and I haven't been back to one in 3 years, but I met the person giving it and she said she would introduce me around. So what the hey it's free.

Besides that I found a Yo Yo book at the thrift store yesterday so I'm keeping myself busy with my yo yo today instead of going out into the blistering heat outside today.

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things You'll Never Hear Me Say ...

1) Can I have a beer?

2) No I don’t mind if you light up.

3) Sex? Nah I’m not in the mood.

4) (To a woman) Sure cut your hair short I don’t care.

5) I really want to get back with my ex.

6) Can you put some cheese on that for me?

7) I think I would look better with an ear ring.

8) I want to make a baby.

9) I want a tattoo right there.

10) I can’t wait to see that new horror movie!

11) Can I please have some medication?

12) Be a man, don’t cry.

13) No you drive. I love being a passenger.

The Big Stiffie

Last night sucked at the pizza place. I worked more hours and came out with way less than I made the night before. People were just stiffing left and right. I'm not a violent man, but I was really pushed last night. They were just adding injury to the insults. I dropped off one delivery and the lady gave me a twenty and went back into the house. I was hey finally a tip. I get back to the work and they are like the lady is complaining she didn't get her change. She wants is ALL back. So not only an I not getting a tip and I have to drive all the way back to this bitch's house. To try and lessen the impact I grab a few other deliveries in the area. I get stiffed from the first and give the lady back her **&%%####!!!! money and the next guy does it. I give him his stuff and I see he's going to give me a dollar tip. It's cheap, but beggars can't be choosy. Then he ask where his napkins are? I tell him we don't provide. So he puts the dollar AWAY! I really wanted to go ape shit on the cheap gumbotron warrior.

Sales

Sitting in Starbucks today trying to finish my book before the new Harry Potter book comes out. Then it happened. Something two of my friends talk about a lot since we all own our own businesses. The sales woman! I swear they either grow them in vats or scour the world for them. This woman was an amazon even without the 3 inch heels. The guy in the suit never had a chance. OMG she knew how to work it and I was across the room. She had an amazing amount of cleavage showing. She had some kind of light jacket (their's probably an official name for it) that she adjusted a few times, but it never covered a millimeter of skin. I have no idea how she was able to get her skirt to rise up, but I kept noticing she was pulling it back down. A few hair tosses later she had him signing over probably his soul and that of his family. I have to admit I never saw a man stare so intensely into someone's eyes before.

Dogs & Kids

I must be stepping in the food that is on the floor at the pizza place cause anytime I deliver a pizza and there are dogs. Their smelling my feet. I don't mind, but moist noses and whiskers really tickle on the back of my legs. I'm usually trying to styphle myself from laughing hysterical from it.

On the other hand kids think I'm like Santa's brother. Their eyes grow to twice their size as the race energentically around the house screaming that pizza is here. To them I have I have magically appeared with mana from heaven.

Kiss & Tell Tuesday

1. What's the sexiest type of underwear? Something with lace for women. Men? who the fuck cares? I'm not even wastin' the brain cells on that
2. Would you/have you ever paid money for sex? Directly no. dinners, movies, flowers hell yes!
3. Is facial/body hair sexy or no? (Moustache, chest, etc. for men, and underarms/legs for women.) Or do you frankly not care? It's like muscles. If a women has more than me that's not good.
4. What is the strangest thing you've ever seen featured in pornography? let me see I would say a women shitting on a guy. It was pretty gross.
5. What's worse, not enough sex or too much? Is there such a thing as "too much"? Is this a trick question? Too much sex? You have to be kidding.
Bonus: What's the most illegal thing you've ever done (that you can admit to, at least)? Were you caught? Clean record here. Although with one women I went out with ending up having sex in a office building and they locked up in. The cop gave me the stink eye when I made up an excuse, but he let us go.

Token Man Here

I had a lecture this morning for the first meeting of a women's business group. I knew where it was, but following all the women was a sure fire way to get there. While waiting to get in the woman in front of me was like I think you're in the wrong place. I informed her I was there speaker. She gave me a non-committal noise and turned back around. Hey I'm not here to subjugate you. I'm just here to do a lecture on stress and hopefully get out of here with my balls still attached to my body. The herd mentality was intact and running strong. Groups of gazelles were scattered around the room giving me curious looks as I the lion moved back and forth. The looks weren't warm and they knew they could gore me to death as a pack. So I was happy to stay on the outside of their watering hole. One lady who I rode up in the elevator with had enough courage to walk over and see what I was about. We exchanged cards and hopefully we can help each other business wise. I have to admit that women dress differently when they are going to meet other women. Their clothes were more conservative and the colors more muted. Being the only guy I stood out like a sore thumb so I just hung back until they needed me to talk. I have to admit I've dealt with rooms of women before, but the business sect was a little intimidating. Overall the presentation went well and I got a few leads. Since I didn't really interact with the women I didn't get as many leads as I wanted, but a few came up to me afterwards.

Sunday Monkey Wrench

Well on my way to meet IT Girl I had a message from her. So when I called she asked if we could cancel since she said she was feeling reflective today and knew she wasn't in the best frame of mind to meet someone. So I told her no problem and just to let me know when she wants to go out.

So I found myself with some free time today. With that in mind I went over to see the Transformers movie. I had finally talked to a few people and they were correct. Leave your brain at the door and it's a fun summer movie to watch. The 2.4 hours went by rather quickly except to my ever expanding bladder. The guy at the urinal next to me was looking over at me since I was there way before he got there and I was still standing there when he left.

The Song

I found this on my friend Marina's site (Losing It) on AOL, but it was way too funny not to spread it around. The Song. Enjoy.

The Circle of Life - Saturday Version

1) Wake up and go to work at the health fair.

2) Finish health fair. Come home take a nap.

3) Wake up go to second job.

4) Finish pizza delivery. Come home and go to bed.

Amazing But True

Well the evening of Friday the 13th was pretty interesting. To start off IT Girl and I have a date Sunday. We still haven't nailed down what we are doing since she lives in the next city over and I don't know it that well. I really didn't think we would ever go out. We played 20 questions over the week. I would have rather met to see if their is any chemistry right off the bat. If not I wasted 15 minutes and and extra drink at Starbucks. However when the questions continued I was like WTF? I answered, but the jokes and the wit dropped. So today I she emailed me starting to say she was going to ask me another question, but then decided to just say she did want to meet. So I IMed her and we set it up. In the back of my mind is a neuroses flag that she has made many bad choices in her life and she wants as much information to feel okay with something. I could be wrong and I'll see.

Pizza delivery tonight was a ride down memory lane. I got to deliver a pizza to my old apartment from when I was married. The place looked different with all new stuff in it. Then I took a pizza down to a place a few houses from L. I can never remember her number, but I made sure it wasn't her name.

Somehow since I provided a lot of vendors for tomorrow's health fair I have been named one of the organizers. I have to grab one of the programs to see it.

Well I'm exhausted and it's time for bed.

Friday Afternoon

We had our monthly office block party today. As one of the organizers it's a little work, but fun. However relaxing outside with burgers on a Friday afternoon is no way to energize oneself to go to a second job. I'm dead tired. The turn out was less than last time, but more people helped out which helped. We invited the fire department again, but they didn't show this time.

To wake up I headed over to Starbucks, but I have to admit the big comfy chairs really didn't help. Although I did get to drink with the Chik-Fil-A cow which was funny. I also go to watch as some inspector walked around checking everything out in Starbucks. It was more of a structural exam. Chairs, tables, walls, etc. Weird?

I need to pack up for my health fair tomorrow and practice for my lecture next Tuesday. At the moment I'm using most of my energy to stop my face from coming in contact with the keyboard.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about YOUR NAME1…. Start your list here! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Thirteen things no one knows about me (or very few):

1: I've sold vacuum cleaners door to door

2: I've been a radio DJ

3: I'm a Wing Chun Kung fu teacher

4: I'm partially color blind

5: I have very flat feet

6: I have a brother named Mike

7: I'm highly allergic to dairy products in any form

8: I knew how to adjust people long before I went to chiropractic college

9: When I was 32 I use to look at 1-2 thousand pictures of porn a day

10: I don't text. I know it exists, but I don't beleive in it

11: In 12th grade for the hell of it. A friend and myself followed one of out teachers everywhere they went for a week.

12: I fence, you know with a sword

13: For about a quarter of my life I slept with a knife or some other weapon next to my bed

Thursday Thoughts

Well pizza life returned to normal last night. Actually it started great with my first lady giving me a $6 tip. After the night before I was about to offer her a DATY, but she closed the door to fast. The local college is having some event and each night they order 35 pizzas which throws everything into chaos. I tell you my wrist is sore from two nights of boxing so many pizzas. Other than the monsoon like rain last night is was pretty normal.

I tell you one thing that came out of yesterday with IT Girl is my black and white nature with meeting someone. I know the day before I was working on putting the brakes on myself with this is going good. Their's a point along that road where I can get an expectation even though I've been down this road many times before. Then I don't hear anything and a resentment comes flying up with my expectation being blown. It's all in my head and it's a 4 year old response an old tape if you'll like. So that became my lesson for the day.

Not Quite Sure

Tips BLEW last night at work. I was getting change for tips. Like WTF! Don't be telling me to have a good night when you just gave me .32 cents. Cheap asshole. So I was happy to get out of their early last night.

Happy to say the office picked up yesterday for the rest of the week. On the books I have my four new patients scheduled. Now I just need them all to show up which is always the hardiest part.

Not a big online dater. My opinion is that people feel they have more control in that arena which is the farthest thing from the truth. Anyway IT Girl contacted me the other day. We emailed back and forth a few times, things looked good, and then nothing. The draw back is that you know when these people are on. They can't say I've been busy or anything. If this was in real life you would say something at least I know I have, maybe I'm weird that way. This not the first time this has happened over the years with dating, but I still don't like it. It reminds me of when I asked my brother what he did when I was younger. He said he just bailed. I didn't like it when I heard it then and still don't today.

Musings

Between seeing my friend yesterday and meeting my friends I had some time to kill so I stopped by Starbucks in a different neighborhood than my usual. I had recently finished a leaded Coke so I didn't want anymore caffeine. They didn't have any Jones soda or a Perrier. So I got a bottle of Ethos water. Let me tell you that stuff is bottled swill. The funny thing is that they are trying to raise money to help children around the world drink better water. I think they would do better saying this is what those children are drinking, please help.

My residence is getting a little shake up. My landlord informed that 26 people have already called about the place. A 26 year old single mom is in the lead with her 4 year old. I have to admit it would be nice to have kids back in the house. They do lend something to the atmosphere. My other house mate broke up with her long time boyfriend. I figured she would have moved in full time with us, but seems to have found someone else to date. Never understood that.

Watching the paint peel in the office it is slow. For some reason when it is slow my papers seem to pile up around the office. At least the rest of the week is filling up.

The high point of my day was walking out of my business meeting this morning. There was another meeting or two down the hall. Anyway I walk out and their is all these women standing around. They all look at me and watch me walk away. It was a nice boost for the ego.

Improv

Well I went to see my monthly improv show. Sadly my little group has shrunk to only three people. Diane, Ed, and myself are the hardcore fans. We talked about how to get more people to come. We had hoped with them getting their liquor license would help, but I guess not. It was nice to have April come over afterwards and talk to us. I think the awkwardness of having dated has passed. I can still see what attracted me, but also what is missing to make it work. She still had her long hair so I asked if she won her bet, but she told me it had been postponed till later this month. For some reason she made a bet with her friends to do one pull up I believe. If she can't she'll be cutting her hair short.

Starbucks

Since I and most people think Starbucks is a good place to meet people. I wonder if it's okay to buy them a drink or something else like you would do in a bar?

Where's That Wedge?

Doing my Starbucks thing today and enjoying my book when a very attractive lady and her friend came in. We both noticed each other as soon as she walked in the place. They grabbed their drinks and parked themselves on the other side of the place. I was able to look over at her and smile and she with me. Learning from the other day I knew if an opportunity to talk to her came up it would be her doing. So I continued to read, wait, and smile. The only time the were separated is when she went to the bathroom. She was back there a while. It didn't dawn on me for a while was she back there waiting for me? I'm use to the friend disappearing. Was this a different route? Before I could decide she was back and they packed up their stuff. She left last and gave me a big smile before she walked out. Where's that damn wedge when you need it?!

That Sucks!

I was just getting ready to go to job number two tonight when I get the call from my radio station. I won second row seats to the concert tonight. The problem I needed more notice than I got. So I had to turn the tickets down for someone else to use them. Wish I could have traded them in for the Police concert in Boston.

A Classic

I was amusing myself looking through profiles when I found this one. It was a classic so I had to share it.

CLASSIC WELL PRESERVED LATE MODEL 1950's
Body Style: Compact with CURVES
White paint, Dark brown Soft-top
LARGE DARK brown Headlights
Quality GRILL with a KISSABLE bumper
Plush, Warm, Inviting Interior Classic, but fashionable, neat, pulled together Exterior, with some extra padding
Radio programmed for Rock, Country, R&B, and Classical
Loves to ride with GENTLEMAN
Moderate Maintenance, Low Mileage
No Current Break Downs
Runs on Guinness, Red Wine, and Scotch
Doesn't smoke
Great for road trips or parked at home
Tows around and is responsible for two teenage imports
Gets along well with Former Owner
Clear Title
All unattached drivers circa 1952 to 1960 will be considered Prefers drivers that wear uniforms. But, not a requirement.

That's the way to get a guys attention.

Phillip Morris Would be Proud

I remember back in the 90's the smoking companies focused on women to get into the smoking habit since all the male smoker had died off from lung cancer. In my dog paddling through the dating pool I can't believe how many women smoke. I hardly ever see men step out to smoke anymore. The smokers clutch has become very feminine.

This 10 year old girl was stripped of her goddess title. I wonder if their's unemployment for that? I would think that it's pretty good.

At the end of the day after working a late night shift I know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. I just remembered what my manager said to me last night. I had to turn in $69 for the end of the night. She told me that was a lucky number for me. Not looking to sleep with her, but jeez sometimes I can be clueless.

Lunch Time

I had a business lunch with Paper Boy (it's sounds better than paper "guy") today. We met up at Diner Girl's place. One thing I miss about the north is that women rarely smiled unless they were interested. When I first got down here 3 years ago a guy I knew said, "Mike, girls just smile at you down here. It doesn't mean their interested in you." I was still married at the time when he told me and I didn't really care. Now 3 years later I understand what he meant. Anyway I got to shoot the breeze with Diner Girl and her vacation with her folks. Paper Boy arrived and we got down to our business meeting. How as one of the newbies got to be teaching everyone how to do these things I'll never know. Although since I brought Paper Boy into the group I don't mind teaching him. Diner Girl stopped by a few times to chat with us since we are all in the same group. Although I have to admit she did focus most of her attention on me. It was subtle, but I guess that goes with being a young thang.

Well let me get all this paperwork finished. I would like to go down to the oceanfront tonight to see Blue Oyster Cult. Their free and it would be nice to relax down there in the evening.

And it Ends

Well my landlord returns tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I've gotten use to being alone again. Pile dishes in the sink, eat in my room, walk around naked. All the great things of being by yourself. The funny thing is that I didn't take out the air guitar once this time. I guess since I play the radio so much while I'm delivering I want peace and quiet when I get home.

I did get to knock off most of the British version of MI5 series. It's a good show, but I have to admit it's the first show that I have ever seen that has gotten rid of the man characters all in one season. Weird.

The Fourth

Never big Fourth of July fan mostly because I am not a fan of the noise. Never liked loud noises. Anyway it was nice to sleep in today and then run some errands. Although I have to admit it was a bit strange. We had garbage pick up today. It's a federal holiday so what's the deal? I'll do something with the garbage. So I figured I'd hit a few thrift stores and lo and behold they were closed. The worlds gone a little screwy when they pick up trash on a holiday, but won't sell it.

I haven't made any pizza stories for a while so here are tonight's. The staff was complaining that we were open on Independence day, but the Mexican place next door to us was closed. Hey go figure. I did have to deliver a pizza to the ER. That was interesting. While I was standing there waiting for the secretary to come down and get her pizza some guy came in holding a little girl and asked if I was in line. I really wanted to make a wise crack about how I had a sick pizza here that needed to be eaten soon or their was going to be trouble. However since he had a kid in his arms I passed on it. The high point of the evening was a couple of young thangs giving me a $10 tip for the delivery.

Sam's Club

When I did a health fair a couple of weeks ago I talked with the pharmacist from Sam's club. What I found out is that if you don't have a membership you can still use their pharmacy. Strange, but who am I to argue. I knew the could do nothing if you had insurance, but for people like me without insurance they could. I saved $20 on my meds. I was really shocked at the difference. Figured I pass on the info.

What We Need Here is an Emergency Wedge

We need some scientists somewhere to sit down and figure out how to rid this world of a problem that has bothered mankind for years. I'm not talking about crab grass or the the true number of the JG algorithm. What I'm talking about is the pair of women talking somewhere. So I'm sitting in Starbuck this morning and there two women come in. The first one immediately looks over at me and I look at her. They go place their drinks and sit right in from of me. Over the next 30-45 minutes the one lady and I are looking and smiling each at each other while her friend continues to chat away. What I think is needed is the Emergency Wedge. Like an inflatable raft you just pull a cord and large inflatable wedge deploys. Then you just shove it between the two women and wha-laa two single women. Anyway her friend never went to the bathroom and they left together. Although I have to admit she then returned to the card store next door. I was going to follow, but I did that once and got the deer in the headlights look. Not a good thing to get when approaching a women. So I waited outside at a table, but she ignored me on the way out which through me and I kept my mouth shut. Oh well.

Beaver Balls & Double X

I don't even know what made me think of "beaver balls" last night. However it made me think that you women really got short changed in the naming market. All these sexual slang terms like smuggling raisins, toast, beaver balls, etc are such a "y" chromosome thing. I guess that's why women can count on both hands (and still have some fingers left over) for sexual body parts and men are probably around the 8000 point and climbing as each boy attains manhood.

I think that's why most men's invention are phallic in shape or sexual in nature. Since when they fall into these categories we can bring the full power of our mental prowess to bear. I mean look at men's inventions through out history.

Fire - Women think hey we can cook our food now. Rubbish! Man says now I can look at women naked in the dark.
Printing press - you may think now we can spread more information to everyone. Man says now I can look at pictures of naked women when ever I like.
The Internet - shop online, talk to friends, etc. Blaah. Now I have an incredible database of what? Pictures of naked women!

Now I don't want you women to think that you were short changed just because you have a double "x" chromosome. You got some great gifts that are just so inherently female.

1 - The female body - let's face it. The female form is a work of art. It just don't get any better. It's probably why I don't like tattoos or weird piercing on women. It;s like graffiti on a Rembrandt.
2 - Scent - There is no better smell than a clean women. Just out of the shower, now that's something to bottle.
3 - Hair - The feel of running your fingers through long hair and and then finding that nugget of dampness still their from washing.
4 - Skin - Let's face it women's skin has a softness that can't be recreated. To touch, caress or hug it is a great sensation.
5 - Your waist - a curved waist on a woman. I think it was developed just to put your arm around and to fit like a glove.