Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Was it like the risotto?

I know before I talk about anything else you want to know how the date and dinner went. It went very well. There was almost a snafu when Kitcat texted me asking if there was any onion or garlic powder in the foot. I told her that it was cut up fresh ingredients and had visions of running the grocery store down the street to redo it all. However she was good with it all and incident avoided.

Now I'm a slow eater and it's one of the many things that keep me thin. However Kitcat is a slower eater than I am. It comes from her own weight loss and what she teaches her clients. Conversation as always flowed and was very funny. Kitcat wanted to help with the dishes, but I'm so use to doing it by myself there wasn't really anything to do. Afterwards I showed her the place and then we plopped on the couch to talk which is probably one of a handful of times that I've been on it. I've mentioned before that Kitcat is a chatty Cathy and I mentioned it to her which caused her to laugh since she knows. My usual remedy for that is that I'll just kiss her which does the trick. This time I mentioned how nice it was not to be standing in the cold or the rain and kissing which has been our usual. And yes a fun time was had by all. I even have the mark on my neck to prove it which is really strange cause it takes a Mack truck to bruise me. Oh well, high collars for a few days.

So today I need freaking toothpicks to keep my eyes open. I slept good last night, but after 2 nights of a dripping roof keeping me awake, I felt it. I would have killed to sleep some more. I was up almost 3 hours before I started feeling awake which worked out sort of. Most everyone rescheduled their morning appointments which freed it up. The highlight of my morning was the mailman stating he made a mistake a slid my mail into the office slot next door. The problem is that its a empty office. So I had to call my landlord to open it for me. They are mailing the key since they couldn't find it on site. Hopefully it will be here tomorrow.

Kitcat has her son part of this weekend due to the holiday. So I'll be seeing her Friday evening. Not quite sure what we'll be doing since she works till 7. When I fully shake these cobwebs from my brain I'll come up with something.

Stuck in the Middle

My parents got divorced when I was 18 months old. So I've spent my life with divorced parents which means they are rarely together, but they still are bad mouthing each other. Being in the middle really is the place to be. Crap is flying everywhere and for some reason you're catching it. Now you ask why I bring this up? Well it has nothing to do with my parents, thank gawd. It's my business coach and the woman that owns the business networking group in the area. For some reason they've had a problem for the last year or so. Since I deal with both of them for my business growth I hear the complaints. I've gotten use to it actually. However this morning the volume was raised when the woman told me and my group we couldn't use his place for our meeting. In my head I'm like this is escalating which I don't need. Why? Cause I feel I'm the go between again and I don't want that job again.

I got my taxes back today and I owe a small fortune. Still reeling from the events of the previous paragraph I didn't say anything. However once I was able to calm down I realized that my taxes where done under a sole proprietor and I'm a corporation which gets rid of that huge self employment tax. I need to look at last years and see if same mistake was done there since I paid a bunch last year too.

I had to attend a big meeting today with business owners that run organizations well over a million dollars. Last time this really got to me, but I was able to go in a better mindset today. It turned out to be a lot of fun and I was happy to have attended.

Kitcat and I met up last night for an hour over at Wendy's. She had just finished Boy Scouts and I a meeting. Like always the hour flew by and we laughed most of the time. The great thing was that the place was empty so we had some latitude. I've known that Kitcat is very attractive, but I really got to watch her sashay across the place last night. All I had to say was "WOW."

I'm looking forward to cooking dinner tonight for us. I stopped back at the house this morning to cut up everything so I can start cooking as soon as I get home. The construction guys realized I had a date coming over tonight and asked for stuff to clean the place up with when they were finished. Thanks guys.

The Porn Factor

I'm happy that Tone is replacing the roof soon. I was awoken several times by a very loud lead somewhere over my bedroom. Talking to OVDC today she informed me that a nice apartment is open next to her old place. It would be $200 more a month than I'm paying now, but I would be right on the water with a pier walking out on to it. It would be a bit of a drive from office though. I still plan to talk to Tone when she comes back down next time to see what her timeline is. I don't want to be looking for a place with only 30 days to go. I know I still have time, but being proactive will be good. I have to remember to take care of myself.

It's a slow this week which really doesn't make me happy. However it does motivate me to get out and talk to people on my list which I have been doing today. The real pain today is the violation I got for my sign. I was informed I could put a sign up for 21 days as long as it wasn't on the street. I have to call tomorrow to find out what the problem is.

Looking forward to seeing Kitcat tomorrow. I'll cut up all the vegetables tonight so when I get home tomorrow I can just start since we both won't be getting off work till around 7. I tell you it's nice to have someone to joke around with throughout the day.

Lastly I had some free time yesterday so I took the Maxim's quiz on telling the difference between female newscasters and porn stars. Holy crap did I fail miserably. Everyone who I thought for sure was porn was a newscaster. Even the lady I would have bet my life on. I'm not quite sure which is worse, me not knowing or how these women look.

Cherry Blossom Festival

Martial arts demonstrations.

People were flying all over the place. When I was in my twenties I could do this stuff, but I don't bounce like I use to.

There was all different types of examples of origami. I still know how to make a gorilla by memory. Everything else I need instructions. It's a fun art form.

Bonsai display. It was very interesting, but I don't think I have the patience for it.

Koto music was very popular throughout the festival. I did miss their piece "Midget in the Woods". I have no idea who creates these names.

Dinner in the Sister Cities

Well I did the Google search and I find I'm a date late. I asked Kitcat to come over Tuesday and I'd cook dinner. She said yes and was very happy that I have the ability to cook and clean dishes. I have to admit I enjoy guys who set the bar low since I easily clear this stuff.

Thinking back, it's been 4 years are Aroma girl since I cooked a romantic dinner. I cooked for Asp, but her son was always there so it was always on the mundane level. I have to admit that one was one thing about the relationship that was a problem. The ability to make things special was so hard.

Anyway ratatouille is on the menu with a salad. Kitcat is diabetic and I need to find out what she'll want to drink. She keeps her blood sugar levels normal with diet and we've not had a normal dinner yet. She had hot tea with the sushi, but I don't think that counts. I am surprised how quickly Kitcat has grown on me. Interacting with her is always a fun thing. The next thing on my list for us is to do some activity whether it be a museum or miniature golf to see how we do with stuff in between us.

Today was the Cherry Blossom festival here in the city. Virginia Beach and Miyazaki City, Japan have been sister cities since 1992. Who knew? Today was the annual festival which had plenty of Japanese culture to share. No food though. There was martial art demonstrations, music, arts and crafts to experience. A fun time was had by all.

I do want to thank everyone who answer my question last entry. I've always been an open book if someone asks me a question. However over the years I've volunteered less and less information and wanted a reality check with it.

The Starbucks Drip

I awoke this morning to the sound of a fast drip from the roof. Unless I'm being awoken for sex I don't enjoy having my sleep disturbed. Since I couldn't fall asleep I got out of bed to try and find the leak. However the rain had stopped and so did the leak. Since I heard it hitting something I looked all around, but couldn't find it for the life of me. Most of that part of the attic is insulation and I didn't see anything. So I called Tone to tell her about it and she said that the roof is being replaced after Easter.

I tell you with all the changes happening to the house everyone is stopping to look at the place. Some are just walking around the property to look. I should sell tickets. The other odd thing is that we have a garbage dumpster at the moment for all the construction garbage. The problem is that everyone in a 10 mile radius is dumping their garbage in it. I pulled up yesterday to see some guys in the dumpster looking at a lawn mower. Now the mower isn't ours. They looked at me like was I going to get angry. LOL. Hey pal if you want to dumpster dive, have at it. Just don't make a mess.

I met Kitcat for Starbucks and talk for a few hours. She bought me my drink which was nice. We talked and played Lifestories which is a great game to get to know people better. As usual 3 1/2 hours flew by and we had lots of laughs. While we're together everything is on the up and up, but our texts are starting to get a sexy flair to them. So we'll see each other next Tuesday. Not quite sure what to plan. I might cook for her. I don't get a chance to do it that often and I enjoy it. Like I told Kitcat I really enjoy seeing her. Fun and laughs always happen.

I have a question for you all though. How much do you share? Most of my friends are married so their no help. My question is how much dirty laundry do you share with your dates? Do you share to the same levels as your date? Do you admit to cheating, doing drugs, arrests, bankruptcy, etc.? The list can go on. I've learned over the years to share less and less if it's not going to improve the relationship. I'm just curious.

Biking Around

Since it was a dead day at the office yesterday afternoon I left early to enjoy the beautiful day outside. I figured I'd enjoy a nice bike ride and I have to remember to bring my camera with me. I was surprised to see Tone still at the house, but some changes had happened. The construction guy wanted one of the landlord's trucks so I helped her clean it out which would get another vehicle off the lot, leaving one left. The big thing was that the new double front doors were installed. The problem is that Tone didn't pick out a handle yet. So the door is there with a hole in it. So I just put a crumpled plastic bag in it to stop any bugs and the cold air from getting in.

It was really funny last night. Kitcat had her final exam yesterday for this part of her classes. So she was wiped last night. She fell asleep during texting. She asked if she could ask me a question and I said sure and then she was gone. I had a good laugh with her on the phone this morning about it. Kitcat had wanted to ask about my Mom since someone brought it up at the movies Tuesday. I tell you I do have to be the watch dog with time when we talk since it really goes fast. At night I don't mind, but today I had work to get done. I'm bummed that its supposed to rain tomorrow since we're getting together during the middle of the day. Not quite sure what we're going to do. I may suggest Starbucks and some games to find out more about each other since outdoor activity is a bust.

Spank My Lonely Ass

Whether you know it or not my favorite TV show is Two and a Half Men. It's the only thing I watch from TV that is still current even though it's on the computer. Being a chiropractor and having Allen be one also adds extra humor to the show for me. I've talked in the past that you can tell a lot about a woman when you work on her muscles on the table. The verbiage or sounds are usually how they probably are in bed. This week's episode expanded on that premise beyond the moans with the statement that became my title today. It was freaking hilarious. You can go to CBS.com to watch the episode.

I have to admit I was pretty anxious on my way to the movies last night with Kitcat coming to a singles event. I knew it was me since I knew she would have no problem fitting in. I talk a lot about my problems with people since this is how I deal. When I told my friend last night that I felt my two worlds were colliding I instantly knew what old tape was playing in my head. My parents divorced when I was very young and when any of my big school events happened my Dad sometimes come and I was always worried about my worlds colliding since my Dad doesn't get along with the rest of the family. Once I realized this I was able to relax. It went well. Kitcat liked my group and they treated her well. One of the younger members who has no filtering in her system asked her if she was my girlfriend. Kitcat said we just started seeing each other. It was nice to sit through the movie while holding her hand. Afterwards we talked some in the parking lot and did some kissing to keep warm.

Eric is getting to the age where he needs to have access to either a library or the Internet. My ex isn't having either one happen so Eric has been calling me for help with homework and projects. Yesterday was the beginning of me setting some boundaries with that. I enjoy helping him since it's the only way I can be part of it. However I don't want to do it for him. So when he called up with 20 questions about his homework, I started wondering how much I was doing and how much was he. So what I did was collect a lot of information and just read it to him over the phone. He picked out what he needed and did his assignment. While it didn't help with his investigative abilities he still needed to pick out the information to do his homework.

Speaking to Tone last night, I found out that their plans are to rent the house till the market comes back up. Why someone would want to waste their money renting the place is beyond me, but I see it happen a lot. So I'm starting to see that my timeline here has a shelf life of about a year. At least I can plan accordingly.

Getting Higher and Higher

I have to admit Kitcat is growing on me quickly. She's bubbly and assertive which I like a lot. The other is that if you get the two of us talking we're quickly laughing our collective asses off. I'm looking forward to seeing her tonight although it will be a bit weird with 9 other people with us. I'll meet her outside so I can give her a hug and kiss instead of putting on a floor show for everyone else. The only pet peeve I have with her is texting. I know she has a normal cell phone with out a keypad so I'm not flipping, but I hate the abbreviations beyond "lol."

Tone was at the house last night, but was already in for the night and I had to leave early this morning so I didn't see her. With the movie tonight I'll be home late again and she leaves tomorrow. I have to admit I don't like anyone else in the house even though she isn't a bother. I was happy to see the deck is finished and looks nice.

Let it Begin

I did realize last night while talking to Kitcat on the phone that she is a "Chatty Cathy." I do get to talk, but she can go on like the Energizer Bunny if left to her own devices. With that realization I know I'll have to steer the conversations sometimes as well call it when I need to get things done. Today the texting began. I don't mind at all and it lets me see into her day. I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow night as she is too. I think it's going to be a bit weird with the singles group there.

Last night's belly dancing event was fun. I had a few problems with it though. I couldn't get a reservation at a table, but I could sit at the bar. Let me tell you I don't know how people sit at a bar for a long period of time. The only member to show up showed up late like he said he would. The 3 other members were no shows which kind of sucked. The last thing was there were only 2 dancers last night. Usually there are 3-4 so it made it a early night which in hindsight wasn't a bad thing.

Today is a mixture of meetings and patients which makes me feel like the day is busy as hell when it's just okay. Tomorrow is slow as anything and I'll catch up with work then.

Tone arrives today and will be here till Wednesday so it's going to be weird having people in the house. Besides having every light on in the place.

Under the Microscope

Fierysaggirl had many date questions for me that I figured I would just answer here since I know I get overlapping questions from everyone. Plus with a good night's sleep it lets me look at it in a better light.

I was pretty relaxed with seeing Kitcat since I didn't start the whole process. I hadn't even looked at her profile since the picture was an old one and I don' open those. We had made our date earlier in the week on Tuesday. Kitcat had wanted to know if I wanted to talk on the phone, but in my mind I didn't see the reason. Before a date, the talking is just for setting the date up. I've done enough dating through my life to know that nothing matters until you meet the person. You might pick out red flags, but nothing positive is going to come out of it. Some people may push for more than the coffee date, but it lets me know everything I need to know. Is there chemistry? Are you looking just for a free meal? Hey a single girl's got to eat is a statement I've heard enough times.

Kitcat asked if we could do random questions until we met and I was like sure. They turned out to be somewhat psychological, but I didn't mind. Like she said, agreeing to do them showed a lot.

My only apprehension with meeting Kitcat was her eyes. She has dark eyes and in some of her pictures it makes her look like she has rat's eye which I'm not a fan off. I was pleasantly surprised that she didn't. Too avoid being overbearing or too forward I always shake a woman's hand now at a first meeting. I've talked to enough women to feel safer with that then a hug. I knew when I shook her hand she would have went for the hug, but no loss. We ordered our drinks. Even though she asked me out I paid for the drinks. She did have her wallet out, but I told her I had it. I have a penis and I do certain things. She did thank me which I greatly appreciated. You'd be surprised how many times I don't hear it.

We talked and joked for 4 hours which went by in a blink. I was wondering why my butt was hurting. Those Starbucks chairs can be unforgiving. She was married 17 years and I can tell she's still getting her dating legs back. We did make ambiguous plans to go to Williamsburg. Touching was light on my part, just a light touch on her hand or arm when we were laughing. She grabbed my hand and one point to say sorry that my son was so far away.

I broke my usual rule of leaving on a high note and letting the date end at coffee. However we both love sushi and I was dying for some and was hungry. So I suggesting it and she agreed. I walked her out to her jeep. I held and opened doors for her, but didn't hold her hand. She did accidentally fart on the walk when she was laughing so hard. I wouldn't have noticed if she didn't apologize.

She followed me to the restaurant. We had a very nice dinner and got to try out each other's favorite rolls. I don't remember if I asked or said I wanted to get together again. I remember asking her schedule so we could plan. I knew she had her son next weekend so that was out. Monday's don't work for me. So I could have waited another week and half or ask her to join me and the singles at the movies. Now I'm not a big movie dater early on. It's a waste, but I didn't want to go that long without seeing her. She agreed. She didn't offer to pay for dinner, but she did make sure to tell me thank you which again I really appreciated.

I held her chair for her and held her hand on the way out of the restaurant. After she put her stuff in her jeep I kissed her. She wanted another or a longer kiss, but I hugged her instead and then we kissed again. I know myself I need to warm up with a person. If I start hot and heavy with a person I usually know I'm not in the relationship state of mind. I told her I would call her tomorrow (Sunday) and then I waited till she left then drove home.

I'm not head over heels with her, but I do like her. She doesn't have any quality sticking out that I usually want when I date someone. However I do like her personality and how she handles herself. As weird as it may seem she almost feels like a female version of myself. I'm a normal person with some geek qualities. I'm well read, active, and know enough dime store psychology. So it was interesting and fun to see that in a woman.

What Time is It?

One thing I hate about meeting for a date is the waiting. When you pick someone up I feel like I have some control over the situation. Waiting in Starbucks for someone to arrive is nerve racking. Kitcat was late which made matters only worse. I was thinking of calling her when she showed up. My worry was what had happened. She went to the wrong Starbucks. I had worried about her looks since most of her pictures were old, but she was very attractive. Kitcat can talk and she has a great sense of humor which was evident in that we laughed most of the time we were together. I did break a rule of mine and asked her out for something to eat afterwards. I was hungry and having fun so I figured why not. It was then that I realized we had already been talking 4 hours. I had been jonesing for some sushi and Kitcat really likes the same restaurant that I do so we headed on over to continue talking and eat.

Her son is a little younger than I like at the age of 9. Anything under Eric's age I usually avoid, however since she has joint custody and only has him for part of the week it shouldn't be bad. It's going to be a bit of a switch for me since Kitcat is available every Monday and Tuesday and every other weekend. Mondays are always out for me with my meeting. I'll probably be cutting back on $1 movie Tuesday's unless I invite her along. Since I wouldn't be able to see her for a week or so I invited her to come see Sherlock Holmes with the singles group. Hopefully Asp won't come. I know she's a hug Robert Downey Jr. fan.

So far the dating pool is pleasant enough.

Cove Life

I was going to pick up $10 lawn tickets yesterday, but I found out it wasn't they just yesterdays special. Once a season they have a $10 lawn ticket day for all the concerts. While I enjoy sitting at a concert I could care less if I never saw another one. However I always try to get tickets for one show for me and someone else, whoever that might be. I just misheard yesterday and it was something they were doing for the one concert. So I put my money and energies into doing something else. The amphitheater is clear across the city from my office and a pain to get to if there is traffic. Due to patients I was in the beginnings of rush hour traffic and it wasn't pretty.

So I got home early on a beautiful afternoon with the temps just about 70. I had gotten the bike out of storage and had it in the garage for just such an occasion. For all the years I've lived where I do there are a few streets I haven't gone down, mostly because they are dead ends and didn't feel like doing the 3 point turn. However with a bike it was a lot easier and less conspicuous to sit there and look at the water. Unknown to most, Virginia Beach is a marsh land with a city built on top of it. So I have coves all around where I live. I can see some of it from the second story window, but on these streets you really get to see them and it's really beautiful. The weird thing is there is never a small house next to it. They're all huge places. I don't do the upkeep for my place, but it's huge. I just clean the rooms that I use and that's good enough for me. I hear my friends saying they can't do stuff because they're cleaning something. It's like that old saying, "you don't possess your possessions, they possess you."

Well today has become a slow day in the office. Half of my appointments rescheduled which is becoming so common place it's not funny anymore. I wasn't planning on working next Saturday, but I now have a bunch of people coming in.

Today is my date with Kitcat. I have no expectations which is good. The big excitement is to meet a sci fi chick. I let you know how it goes.

Not That Time Yet

Well I finally walked over and talked to an insurance guy I've been wanting to talk with for the last few weeks. Like usual I make a mountain out of a mole hill. However after yesterdays meeting I was in a better frame of mind of just making the contact and not trying to make a deal. It was a nice talk and I left feeling great. I always forget that feeling when I have to do it again which I have to.

It was nice to get out in the great weather yesterday. As most of my friend joke with me on FB with all my beach pictures. You'll know its warm when I break out the tank top. It's so funny that my pics and the topic are infamously funny with everyone.

The great topper of the day was game night. It was a smaller crowd which I enjoy and I have to admit my friend's description is usually pretty accurate. "It's the most fun you'll have with your clothes on."

I have to admit the construction guys are really moving at the house. The deck was going up today. The trees are slowly being cut into smaller chunks. What's going to happen to them is beyond me. It will be interesting to see how it all looks when it's done. The lawn looks so open now that's it's strange. Tone will be down Monday for 3 days to take care of some business.

The Spirit of the Meeting

This morning was my monthly neighborhood business meeting. Yes the one that I am now in charge of. It's the only meeting that I have which makes me nervous. All my other meetings I'm in charge of also or at the least leadership, so what makes this different? I feel like I'm hanging out in the breeze. Then this morning I realized that in all my other meetings there are other positions and people helping. So that's how I went with it this morning. People got assignments last month so I just followed up on that and asked a lot of questions to the group. I do think I'm going to need to start making positions to have some extra accountability for people. However at the end, the true spiritual aspects of the group came out. People working together to help each out business wise just cause they work close together. It was nice to see.

I feel like I live logging camp. It's just so weird to come home and see trees down all over the property. With the change in time I get home and it's still light which is awesome. However the house is getting a lot of attention from the neighbors. People are stopping by to look or gawk as it may be at the place. No one's asked me anything which I don't care on.

I did get the ordinances for signs in the city today. After about 10 seconds of reading it, I thought my head was going to explode. Yes it had been legalized and no longer fit to be read by normal human beings. I'll try to make heads or tails of it all, but I think I'm screwed with 100 signs.

Tonight I'll grab my beach hike with L since the weather is so awesome today and then I'll meet the singles for game night. Kitcat gained major points by being a sci-fi geek since they are a rare breed female wise.


As many of you know or don't know that I'm not a big fan of change even though I know it happens. I got home after seeing the Blind Side which was a great movie by the way. I see why Sandra Bullock got the academy award. Anyway I got home and thought one of the big trees had fallen in the yard. However on closer inspection I saw that many of the trees were down. Work on the outside had begun. Many trees and scrubs were missing. The deck, gutters, and basketball hoop were gone. Walking outside this morning to see all the changes was pretty impressive. The guys did a lot of work in one day and they were there bring and early this morning. I think they were surprised to see me there.

After the movies last night I dropped off 8 more signs around my area to help market the office. 14 hours later I got the call from the city to remove them or face $150 fines/sign. Oye. They are going to email me the ordinance so I can see how I can still use them. The funny thing is that I felt better removing them then putting them in place.

Did I tell you that Kitcat is a counselor? We're just emailing back and forth to we see meet each other Saturday. She asked if she could ask a random question. I don't mind. Her question was what animal would I like to be and why? Let the psychological evaluation begin! I answered Osprey or Hawk since they are good fliers and I think it would be cool to fly on your own power. What about you what would you say?

The Coming of Darth Maul

Well this maybe a first. I have a date Saturday which is not a first. What is a first is that the woman just emailed me asking if I wanted to grab a cup of Starbucks. It was nice and direct which I always like. She was attractive and had a good profile so I said yes. I got bonus points for knowing that her Halloween costume was her dressed as Darth Maul. Any woman that likes Star Wars gets bonus points in my book. She's running a marathon Saturday morning and I'll see her later in the day. Whether she takes a shower or not will decide the shelf life of this relationship. Since she already has points on the books I'll nickname her Kitcat. She's a few years younger than myself, but was married for 17 years so she's a veteran in relationships which is always a good thing. I learn more Saturday.

I tell you I'm doing some soul searching today. I got a 100 signs to place around the neighborhood. My plan is to strategically place 10 around at a time and see how they do. The problem is that I feel like I should be wearing a stocking mask while putting these things out. I see people put these out all the time and I feel bad about it and I have no idea why.

Paying off my Mom's bill has destroyed my cushion in the bank. I tell you I got really comfortable having a buffer zone and now without one I feel very unprotected. It took me a while to build the last one and it's going to take a while again to do so which will suck.

Tonight is Blind Side with the singles at the $1 movie house. I was surprised that Asp offered me some free tickets to the Funny Bone tonight. It was nice of her and I'm glad that we seem to be settling into a friends routine.

Getting A Rise with Viagra

My address book got hacked over the weekend. Viagra ads for everyone. Woohoo! I hate it when that happens. Only one person so far has been offended until I explained it. Most everyone was okay about it, but I feel like some trust was broken. The funny thing was that Asp asked me about it Saturday and what should she expect. When she got to work this morning she then asked me what it was all about. Short term memory is shot on her I see.

Miniature golf with the singles yesterday was fun even though only one other guy showed. We got to talk about online dating which was fun and therapeutic. We both agreed that most women's profiles were filled with more info on what they didn't want than what they were about. With all that negativity its hard to strike up a conversation. Both of us got to share our stories of meeting married women who stated they were single.

After last week's fiasco with my Mom it's time to get back on track with work. I can feel the big uphill battle again with phone calls. I've done my birthday calls already today and restarted one of them. However it's still a struggle. My signs arrived today, although they are all single sided instead of double. I'm waiting to hear what the company is going to do about it. Honestly I don't really give a crap whether they refund me money or send me another 100. I'll start to litter the area with them this afternoon.

All quiet on the dating front. Not really making any connections and I'm still waiting to hear back from the moving girl. This was the big move weekend so I'll see if she recontacts me again.

In the Arms of Morpheus

I was very happy to sleep in today especially with it being on of my Saturdays off. With all the stress of the week, I've been waking up and hour or two early a morning which really sucked. I can always tell when I'm really stressed. I get this small, raw spot on my cheek bones. It'll start on my right then if I'm stressed long enough my left side will get it. I was happy to see them disappearing today.

Eric was happy to announce his report card grades to me last night since most of them were A's except for B's in gym, Spanish, and I forget the last one. He was very happy which made me happy that he was proud of his accomplishment. He did inform me that his grandfather was back in the hospital. Since I knew he's been in there a lot I texted my ex with the suggestion of getting him hospice care also since I knew he was at the end stages of Parkinson's. She called to find out how my Mom was doing and to ask about hospice. She told me to call at 4 am if I needed to. I tell you I got off that phone call so anxious. It's an old reflexive reaction. 16 years with my ex I know she does nothing without an ulterior motive. When here dad passes out of the picture she'll have no one to take care of her. Guess who is the only person in the picture for that spot? Yeah that would be me and no freaking way do I want it. Put my nuts in a blender please. The only good thing is that hopefully she'll be nicer for a while and I can use it to my advantage with Eric visits. I know it won't work since she'll still use her dad being sick card, but I can hope.

Speaking of hospice. It seems to be doing my Mom some good. She looked the best that I've seen her in awhile. She was pretty responsive today although it was all non-verbal.

Spring Blogger Cleaning

With my Google Reader all fixed I decided to do some spring cleaning in it. I'm good to subscribe to blogs, but a bit slower to delete them. What happens is one day someones stops writing and I forget about it since I'm reading so many others. Time goes by until I clean up today. The oldest blog on there ended in 2008. It was Bottle Blonde's blog. I think I kept it around for so long in hopes of her coming back. I do the same thing with Steph and Much Ado About Sumethin who never lets me down by coming back every 6 months. Atlas she is the only one who does that. So I cleaned a lot of great blogs out of there. However in doing so I did find that some bloggers were still active just on different named blogs. I refound Ily and Bambi which made me happy.

Online dating has been a little interesting today. One woman emailed me since I had looked at her and didn't email. If I didn't email you there was a reason, but I figured since she contacted me I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Her reply to my email was text written. I tell you I'm no grammar master, but if your emails to me aren't written sentences we have a problem. Anyway it was a one line sentence of abbreviated words. So I wrote her back it wasn't a match. She actually got upset with it since I think she thought I thought she was a tomboy. Oh well.

Out of the Closet

Okay I have to admit it. I got bored last weekend and I'm doing online dating again. I know me? After I bad mouth it as much as I do and even blog about it. You may ask why I did so and I would answer I was being lazy. With pushing the envelope at work I've been lax on getting out to meet people. So hence online dating again for a short while. Now that I've admitted that I can go back to bitching about it.

First I do have some questions for you ladies that I have never really gotten a good answer from my female friends. We guys would like to know. What is up with you women and travel? It's a standard on a woman's profile and we just don't know why. I'm really surprised I haven't heard a comedian doing a bit on this cause it's talked about by guys.

What I'm truly amazed on some sites is that most women in my age group want to meet men making over $100 grand a year. Hey I'd like to meet a woman in my age bracket that looks like Audrina Partridge or Bar Refeali. Hey I know it's just a fantasy in my head so I don't put it in my profile.

While I could write a book here I'll finish with two things. One is that everyone seems to want a relationship with good communication. However I have yet to see any one's actions follow that up. I can see if you read my email, but I get no response. While silence is an answer it's not an emotionally mature one. Personally I always answer and say it's not a match for me. While it may not be what you want to hear you do have an answer.

The last thing is for god freaking sake capitalize your "i" and don't write like you're texting. Cause I will bounce your ass right off the list with that stuff. Hey we all have to draw a line somewhere.

Clear Day

I see my world has stopped today. Thursday's is usually a slow day in the office and I usually fill the day up with meetings. However all my appointments for the day have cancelled or rescheduled. This reminds me of when I was getting divorced and some days the emotional stress was so high that I would see big changes in the schedule. So I'll use the time to catch up since so far this is the first day without any work for my Mom to do.

I'm experiencing the "emotional bends" today. I always acutely feel when all the stress stops. It's been rough over the last few days and to have it removed today has left a vacuum inside of me. I'm not good with these since my natural instinct is to do something stupid. I know what to do that healthy and I've been doing so all day, but the insanity still screams. What came up in my mind when dealing with this was a funny story.

Twenty years ago, holy fuck I'm getting old when I can say that and still not be under 20. Anyway I was managing an electronics store in a mall. One day a blind man came in looking for some phone help. This was in the days of landlines and phone cords. If you have no idea what I'm talking about ask your grandparents. Anyhow he wanted something to help with his cord not getting in the way when he was talking on it. We had a swivel piece to help with that. So I asked the stupid question of what color did he want. He had no idea. Even being color blind I didn't want to give him some weird color to clash with whatever he had. So I offered him a clear one. Let me tell you, trying to explain to a blind person what clear is is fucking impossible. I know right now you're trying it. It's like telling someone they can't touch their elbow with their tongue. All the definitions are sight oriented. After I don't know how long of my bumbling of words he decided to take it on my word. He never came back so I guess it worked. It's possible being blind he got lost in the mall and never made it home again or just could never find our store again. Either way I was good.

Tonight it's off to the Funny Bone with the singles. We have a full boat which will be nice. I know I could use the laughs.

Moving On

I think this was the first day ever at work that I was happy it was slow. After yesterday's fiasco at work I needed to catch up with stuff. What I did find out later in the day was that I hadn't forgotten to schedule my patients they had disappeared somehow. While I was happy to have a bunch of new patients want to come in the office. I was surprised and stressed every time another one of my patients would show up for an appointment that wasn't on Outlook. When I thought about it they were right where they should be, but their appointment with me was gone. They were okay with the wait, but I really stressed about the screw up.

Invictus with the singles last night was a very good movie and worth the $1 admission. It was a low turnout, but everyone had fun. Next week we plan on seeing Blind Side.

I met with my Mom's hospice social worker today. Nice, pleasant lady. I know she's doing her job, but matching tone is important when creating relationships. She was a little too cheery for me. The talkative part goes with the position. My Mom is still stable, but I did find out that the stop and start breathing is one of the indicators that the end is coming. There is a list of stuff to go with it so who knows when.

I never heard back from the woman I was suppose to have a date with tonight. Having done enough dating I know anywhere along the line something can happen and you never hear from her again. I thought that was what happened this time, but she shot me an email saying that she was still packing for the movers and couldn't do this week. She was sorry and could we do it next week. So at least she's communicating which is big with me. I hear a lot of people want it, but few actually provide it.

Drained, and Not in a Good Way

I'm just drained today. Talking to my brother today we both checked out how each other was handling it all. Both him and my SIL said that since they aren't physically here they separated from it. For my brother I think he still hasn't resolved all the crazy shit our Mom did with us. I think my ex said it best with "when it all comes down to it, she's still your mom." It's true for me. Her loss will be big for me even with all the stuff that went on. Most of it I dealt with once she got sick since there was no way I could be a caregiver with it all in my head. I think that may be why my brother told our Mom to give me the job.

Honestly only about 40% of how I feel is from the thought of losing her. The other 60%, if not more, is all the paperwork and dealing with everyone. It's phone calls to meet to sign this, notification of change of who's covering insurance, etc. I keep having to shift gears from work to this and it's just taking its toll. At 1 o'clock today I was ready for bed. I was happy to get out of the office and just relax and have some lunch over at Chipolte.

Tonight I'm meeting the singles to see Invictus. I'm completely neutral on seeing the movie, but hey it's a $1 and it'll keep me out of trouble.

Tentatively I have a date tomorrow night with that girl who was moving in to beach. At this point all I can say is that it could go in a million different directions. Sitting down and having some time to talk will tell all. I have a nickname already running in my mind, but I want to see if it survives the acid test tomorrow to start using it.

The Next Step

I got the call this morning that my Mom's breathing keeps stopping. Since I learned my lesson from last week she wasn't going to the hospital since they could do the same thing. However the suggestion was to put her on hospice care. This would bring in extra care to help keep her comfortable. The coordinator will be by today for me to sign the paperwork. I can tell all this is getting to my brother since he's joking a lot every time we talk which is how he deals with his stress. My SIL had informed me a while back that he was having a hard time with it. I find myself having a hard time with it too today. I've wanted her to go for a while now since her quality of life is poor, however she's been hanging in there. My belief hasn't changed, but I do feel the coming of the emotional loss of my Mom.

Whatever phone calls I did this morning will be it for today. Selling will not be for forte for the rest of the day. I can do the nuts and bolts of the job. However I have been finding my mind wandering a bit today with patients. So I've been taking time in between them to make calls to friends and journal. I have a problem with falling apart and its hard for me to do, but I can schedule these down times to try to process it all.

The Next Hurdle

It was nice to finally do a beach walk and not have to wear a jacket. It was still a bit brisk, but very nice. It was good to get out and enjoy nature and the good weather.

Tomorrow starts a lot of phone calls for me for work. I have a new marketing project and I'll need the help of other businesses. It won't cost them anything and should make selling their product easier. Talking to everyone about it has no downside for me except for people saying no. Do I want to do it? No. I always feel uncomfortable doing this. However when I do it I fell better about myself and it can only help me. Still not looking forward to it, but I'll be lighting a fire under my ass tomorrow to start the calls.

I started talking to a woman today that wants to keep talking to me. She's moving back to Virginia Beach from the next city over. She's in the process of doing the move so we didn't get more than some introductions and moving stories. We'll see where it goes. The funny thing is that she reminds me of the Photographer in looks. If it gets off the ground I'll give her a nickname.

The truly funny thing was that a new person joined the singles group today and I thought it was the Planner. It wasn't, but boy is she attractive. Hopefully she'll make it to an event soon.

Photo Scavenger

I tell you I now remember why I don't go into malls. Crowded, busy malls make me anxious. I think it's sensory overload. I've been at networking events that have been so crowded it's like a nightclubs dance floor without a problem. Since dead malls don't bother me I think it's just everything all at once. I guess I'm getting old. Soon I'll be complaining that the kids are playing their music too loud. Anyhow I did my recon for the photo scavenger hunt and posted the event. Now we'll see if anyone comes. I broke the "to do" list into 3 sections. The first was just a list of items to find around the mall. Like a unhappy child, comedy DVD, mall application etc. all being worth 5 points each. The No Guts, No Glory section was that a team member needed to model the item. So I kicked it up a notch. Find a sales person named Mike or Lisa, propose on one knee to a stranger, wear 5 inch heels, etc. This section was worth 10 points each. The last section was the riddle section which was worth 15 points each. Now I'm going to share the riddle with you to tell me what you think. Too easy or hard. If you can think of anything else for specific mall stories or item around the mall I would appreciate it.
  • The day has been busy, I feel half-dead. I'm so grateful for my __________.
  • It's like seeing a picture of myself only backward.
  • Rhymes with coaster and makes a breakfast food.
  • What has water, wax, wind, wire, wood, wool and wisdom?
  • My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick, Fat, I am slow, Wind is my foe.
  • Runs, but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks. Lacks arms, has hands; lacks a head but has a face.
  • Throughout history, there have been thousands of well-documented cases of horses jumping over towers and landing on clergy and small men, forcing their removal. What am I?"
  • Stiff is my spine and my body is pale, but I'm always ready to tell a tale
  • I am so simple that I only point; yet I guide men all over the world.

Game night was a success as usual. It does run itself. I might have to limit the amount more on the weekend addition. It gets too unwieldy with too many people. My older members haven't come to break off to a second table which is causing problems. There was only one potential woman their for me. She sat next to me, but I got 3 red flags from her over the night. People don't understand that I pick the games that we do for a reason. Someone pulled a dice game out last night and for a few minutes it was interesting, but the the table went quiet. When people have to open up about themselves in a friendly manner the talking and jokes fly. Scruples usually works best for this. Anyway this woman answered that she wouldn't have a date sleepover with teenagers at home which she has. She also admitted that she was too much of a goodie too shoes. The second was that she admitted to being very emotional. What I have found over the years is that people rarely overestimate how they are. The last was her scent which I think was hers. It wasn't BO so don't worry. Everyone has a personal scent. 80% just fit into the normal category. Another 10% it's like an aphrodisiac, and the last 10% is like pepper spray. I first experienced this with Diane a girl who use to sit next to me in high school. I tried to overcome this with Tech girl, but it's such a reflexive jerk back for me that it's a hurdle I can't jump. We flirted some of the night, but I let it drop at the end when she was pushing the conversation.

Scavenge This

I'm waiting for a possible patient to call. Officially I'm still open for another hour so I don't mind. Usually during this downtime, especially on a Saturday, I stroll around the Internet. Yes I know big surprise. Well actually this morning my intentions were for some different activities for the singles group. I came across a scavenger hunt. Since I know I'll be doing all the work myself and not being able to play I have mixed feelings. However a mall photo scavenger hunt would be pretty easy. I could send them off for an hour and I could grab some Starbucks and relax. Sounds like something you do with your kids.

I think I'll head over to the larger of the two malls here and see if they let you take pictures in the mall. The biggest thing will be trying to come up with riddles for stuff in the mall. I found some examples like

  • Watch your step! Pick up your feet, your next clue is by the other white meat. (Chic-Fil-A)Shh!

  • Don't tell anyone where I might linger to, for Vicky would get mad if she caught me next to her shoe. (Victoria Secret's thong)

I maybe asking for help so put on your thinking caps. I'll probably charge everyone $5 for prizes. I can grab gift cards and hopefully some business people I know will toss in some stuff to kick it up a notch.

Other than that I feel the dating bug biting me again. The funny thing is that I don't seem to be catching any one's eye like I was when I was with Asp. Oh well. I'll have to make my own luck like usual.

Where Am I Now?

You know, if you want to get me good. Don't kick me in the nads, just hit me in my finances. I tell you a shot their really causes my gut to clench. As many of you know my Mom was in the hospital last week and I had to pay her room rate while she was out of her facility. I got the bill today and holy shit they misquoted me the daily rate by almost a $100 under. I was complaining that I paid over a months rent for her 4 days. Now it's freaking closer to 2 months.

For some bizarre reason I got a $15 refund check from the phone company. I have no clue why, but after the previous paragraph I'll take what I can get.

Work this week has been a downward slide also. Something is happening out there since people are rescheduling more and more time between appointments or just dropping them flat out. Oye.

Since I need a pick me up. I grabbed this from Cary over at List of the Day. It's a geek guys wet dream.

Office Gossip

Well I've gotten my exercise groove on all this week. I lost it somewhere while dating Asp and the landlord's decline. I was still going, but not as frequently as I'd like. The last bastion of what I was missing was cardio. I enjoy my beach walks with L, but I know I could use some more exercise for my heart. I had plenty of time to do so this morning and I had to admit it was a bit of a toss up. However I knew I would feel better afterwards. Although I didn't factor in doing my legs yesterday so the pain factor is affect now.

For most of my adult life I've either worked for myself or had complete autonomy to run a business. So I do forget how other people work like having an office to call your own. One of the most asked questions I get asked is if I've ever had sex in my office. Guys always ask while the women usually just perk their ears up. With my own business I have to admit having fun with Asp and the Planner here. Not at the same time though. Being the only employee has its perks.

However when I use to administrate clinics I use to have staff. Now as anyone who has worked in a office environment knows gossip is the biggest energy booster next to the last chocolate birthday cake they was had for a fellow employee. Anyway at the time I was seeing this woman who was totally infatuated with me. I had seen her around the office a few times and we had talked. I thought she was very attractive, but the conversations never really went anyplace so I didn't think much of it. Until one day she came into the place an asked to see me. I led her into my office and asked her what she wanted. I still remember her looking out my window and asking me if I like her or not. I said yes. At times I still can't believe this happened. She said that was good. She walked over to me, dropped to her knees, and ripped my pants open. That's how our relationship started.

How this relates to office gossip. Well everyone wanted to know if we were having sex or not since she would come to see me 2-3 times a week at work. So every time we were going at it in my office someone would be calling to ask questions, knocking on my door, etc. I tell you I don't enjoy having my sex interrupted.

My staff not to be deterred from my evasion techniques decided to up the ante one day. Again we were going at it on my desk when they knocked liked usual, but instead of needing my attention they needed hers. For some unknown reason she decided to talk to them. So she got dressed and I just hid underneath my desk naked until they were finished. I still laugh at this all these years later. Anyway my staff had their answer since I had left a condom wrapper on the side of my desk. The good thing was they never bothered me again.

The Adjustment Phase

One thing I realized while relaxing last night at home was that I was alone. Yes it was shocking news. However I guess another level of awareness or acceptance that the landlord isn't around and at present I don't have a girlfriend. So I do feel the emptiness of the big ole house during the evening hours. I think I'm a bit more sensitive to it this week since it's a slow week at work and the lower interaction with people is felt. Since I have no employees I don't have anyone stinking the place up with their food in the microwave or 3 month old leftovers in the refrig. However the lack of interpersonal interaction is felt at times.

I remember when I was married. I always knew that I needed either home or work to be a safe haven. Didn't matter which one, but one had to be a saving grace for me. However most of the time it was neither which made it tough. So some kind of balance is needed in my present day life.

Another person I read has gone private in this blogging world of ours. Seems an ex boyfriend found out and after reading about himself wasn't too happy. I get asked frequently when I'm dating do I worry about my dates finding this place. Every time I answer I see that I like to play with fire. This blog isn't linked to anything, but my other blog is and several of my friends are subscribers. I do check every month or so and see where this comes up on a Google search of me. I'm good when it's page 5 or beyond. I guess I treat this blog as if it was my diary/journal as it sort of is. I don't really worry about people finding it and I don't know really why. I can turn a blind eye to consequences. I remember when my ex use to pull out my journal and read it and complain. My answer now is the same as it was then. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. However if you make the choice to read it and get upset that's not really my problem.
Lastly I really want my reader fixed and Google hasn't been any help yet.

I Promise You This, That, and the Other Thing

You're showing your age if you know that line. This morning I retook the vice president position of my business group. Looking at my life I now am in charge of or in leadership of every organization that I'm part of. How does a shy guy end up here is beyond me. Older members were happy since they know I'm the iron fist of justice in keeping people in line. Like in my singles group they know I play no favoritism and that I follow the letter of the rules.

I'm lost without my Google Reader. Trying to catch up on my blogs is a pain in the ass 1 at a time. Another day or two of this and I'm going to need to find a replacement which is something I'm going to hate since I'm not big in the change department.

This slow week at work is slowing down even further with many of my patients out of town. Confirmation calls are finding them all over the US which is no fun. I think I need to go next door and buy some oil and start spreading it around the area to beat up some new business.
I'm setting up my next patient appreciation event for next month. I always team up with another business person to help absorb cost, plus do some cross marketing. One thing I realized last night is that I'm back in a age old place that I don't like. I'm the one doing it all. I somehow always pick people that just don't have it to take charge. I though the person I was working with this time would be up to it, but the had no clue what to do. I'm happy this time it was only 2 phone calls and I was done. However I've learned from my coach that if I have to do all the work I get paid for it. So I have to have some fore thought in the future so that I can build it into the overall cost since my time is valuable.

Jumble Reader

Okay this is day 2 of my reader being totally fucked up. It's always nice to see that the people I follow have written something. Who and what is another story. Only part of the screen is there and I have not been able to adjust it at all. So my belief is that it's on their end and not mine. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. So if one of your lurkers is missing it's probably me.
I visited my Mom today in the hospital. She was sleeping so I just talked to the nurse about making sure she was leaving today. She informed me that was the plan and the doctor would be by later in the morning to make it official. I did get the confirmation call a little while ago. She will go back to the rehab side before heading to her room. I do need to make sure that we won't be billed for that also.

I may seem callus to some, but I don't really care where my Mom is as long as a) she's being taken good care of and b) I'm not footing the bill. As long as these 2 things are met I'm good. The hospital is too much into prolonging her life which I know is their mission, but it's not our wishes. When she starts to go I don't want any interference. It may be all spelled out and black and white, but things can get played with.

I did have a meeting this morning with an old business associate about doing a client appreciation event together. Most people know that I'm on ball with a lot of this stuff which is nice. However trying to find someone to go along with me is always the problem. The one thing that I did realize out of the meeting is that I know the business is doing better this year than last at this time. However since it's not stable or where I want it I don't feel like it's good. So I had to run my numbers to give me the pleasure of knowing what I'm doing is working out. It's nice to see that numbers show it going in the right direction.
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