Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

People are Strange

As usual people are scrambling to rejoin my singles group after the termination of so many accounts as of the first of the month. I won't bore you with all their excuses. However I will entertain you with money getting to me. The biggest is the super secret check in the envelope. People it's $5. There is no reason to use a ream of lead lined paper to make sure no one can hold your envelope up to the light to see if there is money in there. Maybe I'm jaded from working in the jewelry industry. One of my duties then was to courier jewelry around NY. I was bonded up to a 100 grand so that was what I was usually running around with. One thing I learned from a jewelry smuggler we use to deal with was that people don't expect you to have anything beyond the norm unless you give them a reason. Only when you're freaking out nervous to you tell people somethings up.

I'm happy to say the snow is finally gone here. However I was amazed the other day with someone driving a Lexus roadster. The only snow they cleaned off was a slit in the front and back. They left 6 inches of snow every place else. I think if you're going to spend all that money on a car you should at least get someone to clean it for you. Either that or get use to it being bashed up.

I called Asp last night to again no response on the phone or text. I was surprised that she did text a explanation later this morning. It's still not first thing and I think she's waiting for me to say good morning which I haven't done till late (about 3-4 hours later) this week. Her explanation of she killed the battery didn't float since I call on one cell phone and text her on another. I feel it falls under the douche bag rule which states that I have to make something up for doing a shitty thing.

The biggest problem I have with break ups is my perception. When I was growing up and for most of my adult life, my perceptions were always abused. If the sun was out I was told it was night and that kind of thing. So anytime when I need to stand up for my perceptions I get shaky since it usually meant having them torn apart and me sent away with tail between my legs. So for me there is a lot of repetition to solidify my perception in my mind. My perceptions are 9/10s of my reality. My feelings here with Asp is that I'm not that important to her which I feel through the absence of her actions. When she does an explanation like this morning always throws me cause then I have to revisit my perceptions up to this point. I feel like a person with OCd having to start over every time something is changed up. Since I have a large business event tonight which starts early and goes late I was passing on calling her tonight. Two out of three times she hasn't picked up this week so I don't really care about tonight. Most likely I'll just end it tomorrow night since we have no plans to see each other still.

Eric called me late last night for help with his homework. However I don't have Internet at the house at the moment. For some reason my older computer isn't connecting to my wifi and I can't figure out why. I felt bad, but also I think he needs to realize I'm not a fairy godfather. When he was young it was kind of like that, but I've been trying to teach him that's not the way it is. Give me some notice and I'll do what I can, but last minute I can't pull a rabbit out of my hat.

1 people had cathartic therapy:

Communication is really important between a couple. If you guys can't effectively communicate between each other, how do you expect to have a meaning relationship ?

How well does it sit with you that you always feel like you're doing something wrong all the time ?

This could get exhausting for you.

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