I feel like I'm on a very fast treadmill today. After waking up and turning on my cell phone. Yes I keep it off while I sleep since I like to sleep. I know I'll freaking kill you if you wake me up for something stupid. Since I don't want to go to jail I keep it off. Anyhow after a moment I get the freaky music from Kill Bill going. It's the one I use for my Mom's place since I know it's never good news and there is no reason to sugar coat it. They inform me that my Mom started having problems breathing during breakfast and her BP was over 200. Her doctor's recommendation was to send her to the ER. As usual they needed my consent since she's on comfort care which means they are not to prolong her life in any means besides giving her comfort. I was informed a little while ago she has pneumonia.
Of all mornings for this to happen was a busy morning. I don't struggle as much anymore on how much I'll detract from my life to handle this stuff with my Mom. This is why everyone paid. To take care of her and keep me informed. The other half is that with prolonged problems you pass over that line when death is a better thing and I've been there for a long time. I've done everything I can so that if she goes I'm okay. However it still is a workout not to toss my whole life out the window to go ASAP to the hospital. I'll head out in another hour once I finish here, but I know I need to take care of myself first.
One of the things I had this morning was my session with business coach which always ends up with a list of things for me to do. Again it's all me, but I can feel the pressure to get the stuff done. The problem I don't have the time now with my Mom's problem. The result is I feel stressed and on a fast roller coaster. I know what to do since I deal with this with my patients on a daily basis, but it's always a different thing to initiate it myself.