Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

That Which Divides

I want to thank everyone for their kind words. Last night I did sleep better than the previous 3 nights which I was fuming a bit. I got some view points from L and Shah on my "happy 2 month" statement with Kitcat since they are polar opposites. Both agreed it could be a problematic statement since it would show where both of are at. Having dated L I knew she would have bolted to since she is a player and any form or relationship is terms for dumping. Shah likes to celebrate all the "moments" in a relationship. We both agreed it didn't have to be presents, but acknowledging it was big. So I was a little sad for having said it, but no regretting it. I know what really broke us up was lack of communication on Kitcat's part. I've seen it in the two months I've known her. Stuff connected to her survival she took care of with a ferocity. Other things that were important, but rough to deal with she pushed off. So I got to see where I stand. I've always known that it's not the fun time that defiance a relationship. It's the shortcomings that do. Communication and intimacy are huge with me and not having any willingness to work and use them doesn't do it for me. So with that it was easier to just let it go.

I will say that Kitcat did text me yesterday to let me know how she did on her test. I waited about an hour to congratulate her on it and that was it. When the text arrived I freaked out. I still drop back to the mindset that I don't know what to do. It's a strange place to be. I've survived so much through my life and I have to admit I didn't know what I was doing, but I got through it. Yet that fear still survives. Once I sat still for a moment I was able to get back to my senses and regain my serenity. However that was it of the communication. I have a funny feeling she'll text again when she is free and is looking for something to do.

Shah told me something many of my female friends have said before, "no more crazy women." I have to admit I still can pick them. My picker is still screwed up in finding someone wanting the same things.

I do have to admit I'm feeling awkward about starting my profile back up where I met Kitcat. It's the same old song and dance. It's not my fault, but I'm picking up the guilt and shame. Oye. I'll just have to do it and go with it.

On a good note. Holy crap is this a busy week at the office. It will be a record week with plenty to spare. Also tomorrow will be a record day if everyone shows. Now I'm just trying to catch up emotionally. I feel so busy in the back of my mind, but looking at the schedule I still have blocks of free time. So I'm just adjusting to this new level of activity because if I don't I'll sabotage myself into getting slow again and I've worked to hard to do that. However it's happened in the past and its a road that I want to avoid.

5 people had cathartic therapy:

I'm sorry things didn't work out. But at least things didn't too terribly complicated months down the road. Definitely fill up those free blocks of time with things to keep your mind busy on other things.. =)


Hey Mike,

Very sorry to hear about the situation with Kitcat (love the name, BTW).

Each of us goes into a relationship wanting something, often we may only have a vague idea of what that really is. Unfortunately, that makes it rough in trying to manage expectations with your partner.

Bottom line, don't be too hard on yourself on that. As long as you're doing what you can to help be clear about where you stand and what you're interests are, I'd say you're holding up your end of the bargain.

Granted, it doesn't help with the feelings that come up around it (yeah, I know it can really suck, eh?), but at least it's a start.

Fear, guilt and shame? Know those well. The thing I'd say about it is that those are the things you experience, they don't define you. I give myself full permission to experience that stuff, but I try to ensure that I don't identify myself with them (as in "that's what I deserve" or some other useless conversation like that).

Taking that stuff personally is a killer.

Keep moving forward... :-D


I love how you can reflect and put things into total perspective. I'm sorry things didn't work out with Kitcat. As cliche as it sounds, we take something away from every relationship that builds us into a better partner.

Sorry you haven't seen me much lately. I've been suffering migraines and busy with my monsters. (Know any good chiropractors in the Minneapolis area? Hahaha)


Awww...I'm so sorry. My ex-husband says that all the women that he has dated since the divorce are crazy with unmanageable expectations. I ruined him. I'm ok with that.

This too shall pass.


Hi Mike

I'm so sorry things didn't work out with KitKat. I really know how rotten it feels when something falls apart like this. But you know, in the words of Marilyn Monroe "sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I really do believe that, and that things have a way of working out for the best. Keep your chin up and keep on going. You'll get there in the end.

There’s a little something for you over at my blog http://tuppennytales.blogspot.com/2010/05/why-thank-you.html

Enjoy your weekend and be good to yourself.


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