I texted my ex last night about the dates for Eric's visit. Hours later I realized that I didn't even consider asking her to bring him to the airport. Still after all these years she trains me very well. I know the answer will be no like it always is or even worse she'll cancel at the last moment which is disastrous since I can't get the money back and I always have to pay a fee to make it a credit. I still need to use my credit by November from the last time she cancelled at the last minute. I know on my part its just avoiding pain, but I still have to go through the motions. At times I almost wonder why I fought for joint custody when I know little what goes on with Eric besides what we talk about.
I'm at the anger stage with grieving even though it's not really anything. The two things that bring it up are friends are still asking how we are doing and I have to explain what happened. The other is switching back to not thinking about her in my planning of activities. So I do find myself with a lot of free time this weekend. I did get together with the singles today for the annual Strawberry Festival which was fun. However most everyone I know is off doing something else this weekend.
Sitting with friend Clark the other day and I was listening to what he was saying. Then I knew exactly what he was going to say. Women don't like sex. I finished his sentence. I asked where he learned that from and he didn't know, but it was a belief he grew up with. I knew it too since I did the same, but for the life of me can't figure out where it came from. I've spent most of my adulthood trying to unlearn it, but it's a stubborn belief to let go of.
I was given an award that I have to list 7 facts about myself. Since I'm pretty open about everything here I'm going to have to think about it. Hey something to do this weekend.