I always thought the anger part of grieving would be about the person dying and them being gone. I dropped the f bomb a lot yesterday as I ranted to my friends about not wanting to grieve and how I didn't want to deal. The problem is on the flip side I know its freaking healthy to do and I've just spent the last 10 years digging up shit from my past that I didn't deal with correctly when it occured. When I vented and said my peace I was better. I even called my brother to talk about dealing with our Mom's remains. However he wasn't around so I'll try again today. I know taking the actions will help with the feelings.
The rest of the day was spent in a scattered mental mess. I kept switching from what I was doing that I was exhausted by the end of the day since I had worn so many hats. The good thing was that my work was done and my trunk was organized which was something it hasn't been for a long time.
I wasn't planning on seeing the Comic last night, but I missed her and she me so I said what the hey. My orginal plan was just to relax and get up early since I had to work this morning. It was funny she wanted to help me put together a storage cabinet I got for my closet. So she was like you need to go slower. She knows once I put my mind to something its done very quickly. So I told her I would give her a job so she could help. It's good for me since I know that I'm way too self sufficient.
Another big difference between us is that she walks slow. The Comic doesn't have the ability to sprint. It's funny and frustrating at times when we need to move a bit quickly and she's just can't do it. I'm not quite sure why and that may take some investigating. We did talk last night about her shoes since she has many of them, but only wears one type with me. She was trying to stay shorter than me. I told her I didn't care. Honestly I don't think she would be taller with heels, but even if she is I don't care.