Venting at New Heights

I always thought the anger part of grieving would be about the person dying and them being gone. I dropped the f bomb a lot yesterday as I ranted to my friends about not wanting to grieve and how I didn't want to deal. The problem is on the flip side I know its freaking healthy to do and I've just spent the last 10 years digging up shit from my past that I didn't deal with correctly when it occured. When I vented and said my peace I was better. I even called my brother to talk about dealing with our Mom's remains. However he wasn't around so I'll try again today. I know taking the actions will help with the feelings.

The rest of the day was spent in a scattered mental mess. I kept switching from what I was doing that I was exhausted by the end of the day since I had worn so many hats. The good thing was that my work was done and my trunk was organized which was something it hasn't been for a long time.

I wasn't planning on seeing the Comic last night, but I missed her and she me so I said what the hey. My orginal plan was just to relax and get up early since I had to work this morning. It was funny she wanted to help me put together a storage cabinet I got for my closet. So she was like you need to go slower. She knows once I put my mind to something its done very quickly. So I told her I would give her a job so she could help. It's good for me since I know that I'm way too self sufficient.

Another big difference between us is that she walks slow. The Comic doesn't have the ability to sprint. It's funny and frustrating at times when we need to move a bit quickly and she's just can't do it. I'm not quite sure why and that may take some investigating. We did talk last night about her shoes since she has many of them, but only wears one type with me. She was trying to stay shorter than me. I told her I didn't care. Honestly I don't think she would be taller with heels, but even if she is I don't care.

In My Dreams - Salma

This week's in my dream is a woman I was just reading about. It classified her as having classic cleavage. I'm not a breast man, but I can appreciate Salma's. Seen some of her movies over the years. Can't say I was too impressed with them. However she always looks attractive and classy so she's on the list.

And in This Corner

I was sitting in the Comic's kitchen when she was getting a Milk Bone Dog biscuit for one of the dogs. It sparked a memory that I had as a kid. "Hey I use to eat those when I was kid. The removed the spots I use to have on my teeth." The Comic's face was a Kodak moment. She was hoping I was joking, but I wasn't. She's always okay with going down memory lane with me, but it never makes her happy. The dog bone story was boundary pushing and she didn't really want to hear about it. I have no idea how I started eating them. I do remember we had a friend of the family with 2 dogs, "Ginger" and "Snap". I would get 2 for them and I would eat one and give the other to one of them. We had random dogs in the house, but I don't remember eating them there. Oh well. While I do classify this as a good memory I wouldn't feed them to my son.

The Comic had a good point this morning when I was talking about my funk. I knew that it was a healthy thing to go through, but I don't want to. I just want to have my way which is a big control issue I've had most of my life. She stated that the battle was still going on with my Mom since she was still controlling me through grief. It made sense to me and helped me to relax. I'm trying to accept that I'm going to need to ride the waves for a while. Do what I can when I'm up and just coast when I'm down.

Tonight the Comic is staying at my place and I'll cook dinner for us. We are eating out too much for my wallet. I have to admit we don't spend a lot, but it's a lot more than I'm use to paying just by myself.

Ups & Downs of Life

I tell you the 3 weeks last month of Eric's visit, my Mom's death, and then the move are still playing havoc with me. I still feel scattered at times. I think my time with the Comic is adding to this. While I enjoy my time with her and she does a lot for me. I'm having a hard time getting into my new routines with all the changes. Not really changing anything at the moment, but just talking about it.

The Comic's sister said I was looking happier nowadays. I think the many months of not knowing what was going on at my last place played their havoc with me. Now with so many things done and changed in my life it's difficult to get into a new groove. My old one doesn't fully work yet I haven't settled into a new one.

My ex emailed me last night about when Eric was coming back cause she may be going on a retreat. All I got out of this was that their would be no airport service from her. The only good thing is that my last trip I was able to get a subway may. There is a direct line from Chinatown to Rockaway. I will ask her to drive Eric the 12 blocks to the station which she will probably give me crap for, but that I can bitch about. I know how she lies about stuff, but sometimes their is no cover for it.

Today has become a crap day at work. It was nicely packed this morning then it became Swiss cheese. Very thin cheese to be exact. Not happy about it. The good thing about today is that the Comic and I are off to see Iron man 2 tonight at the $1 house.

Rising Hurdles

Getting ready for some hurdle jumping this week. The first one is for work. I want to use my neighborhood business group as a template to make a medical one. I figured the country club down the street would be biting at the bit to have a room of doctors they could try to sign up for membership. I'm hoping they'll toss in some soft drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Since I'm not out to make any direct money for this I don't want to pay anything. If they don't go for it, I may have to try the hospital or people will have to pay to attend. Medical doctors are use to being catered too so I don't think that will work so well. Now I just have to get the ball in motion which is feeling harder than it should.

The other hurdle is my Mom's ashes. I was expecting to get all the life insurance money. I would use it to travel for the service and then split it between my brother and myself. However I got half and he got the other. I tell you I don't feel like spending money on this. I'd be happy to send him half her remains to dispose of them as he sees fit. I can do that here at the beach which was her wishes. My Mom didn't dictate where other than on the beach. I'll talk to my brother in the next day or two to work something out.

The picture is of the Comic and myself outside the art show the other day.

The Weekend Update

I made it back home tonight. I'd been back just for short periods during the days to either pick stuff up or grab a fast shower. Friday I had a hard time connecting with the Comic since she had used my mechanic to fix her car and then she broke down. We used my towing service to get her back and they made it up to her by giving her a brand new part. I had to be honest with her about how I was feeling responsible. She was okay with everything and me being open helped me reconnect.

It was the Comic's birthday and I took her out for some great sushi. Then we met up with her SIL to go to an art show. It was a small one, but as always it was nice to hang with the Comic. We did announce that we were in a relationship on Facebook which was a step for us. Plus I got a picture of us together so we each could have pictures for our rooms. It was the first time for her to have a bf pic in her room.

Talking to Eric was a bit of a bumpy ride. He was asking if I could drive and get him instead of the bus. He was saying that it messed up his sleeping schedule even though he slept well on the bus. I didn't mention that I couldn't sleep at all. I told him it was too much for my car. I didn't stress it too much, but I did state that if his mom could bring him to the airport that the problem would be solved. I doubt if it will make a difference, however it knocked me for a while. As always I want to do most the most for my son, but I can't kill myself along the way.

I took the Comic to see Les Miserables. It was my most enjoyed played I had ever seen. This was a high school production and done very well. I was very impressed with the what the kids could do.

The weekend was filled with trying a few new eateries which I had gotten gift certificates for. All the places were good. The Comic had a bump in the road with her dryer dying. A quick search found out the the part would be from $40-80 and I found one on Craig's List for $45. It was a freaking hot day to be moving it, but she was happy to have a working dryer back in her place.

Goodbye to You Too

Since it was a dead morning at work I decided to stop at my Starbucks. Yes the one that is closing this weekend. I didn't think I would get a chance to enjoy it again and if I did it would be with the Comic. I wanted to enjoy it by myself since I've spent enough hours in it over the years. It became my reward and guilty pleasure a few years ago. I didn't have much money as I started over, but I had learned that I needed to be good to myself. So the compromise was Starbucks. Not too much money spent and I got to spend sometime relaxing inside it's 4 walls of plaster and glass. Who knew I would become an addict with the stuff for the first year. Actually I wasn't that bad with only 2 visits per week. However over the years I've spent many hours reading or working on my laptop there when I needed an escape from the office. I've had many business meetings there as well as a lot of coffee dates. The Comic and I had our first meeting there. The whole experienced just added another car to my seeing things go bye bye. While like everything else it's a major emotional event it does do something to me. So I find myself a bit melancholy today.

I'm also taking back my trunk today. Over the last few months or is it years it's become a storage for a lot of stuff, most of it junk. Well that's not right. It's stuff that needs to be organized and put someplace else. So I picked up a milk crate and magazine holder to put in there to hold my meeting books, car fluids, and Eric stuff (balls and the such) so I can have some organization in there.

Last night I got to enjoy more of my new place by sitting in the enclosed patio and enjoying dinner with a book. It was nice and peaceful. It could have been a little less humid, but it was well worth it.

The Comic is helping me with a bunch of stuff with Eric. She's going to help me decoupage a box so I can hold all of Eric's stuff that I've kept. Since he was a baby I've kept every single scrap of paper or craft that he has made for me. I've been keeping it in a folder, but want to make a better holding place. She also had a great idea for making him a bookmark since he reads a lot like me. Now I just need to find a good picture and poem.

500 Channels and Nothing On

One of the new perks at my new place is free cable. I haven't had the stuff for 6 years and I hear everyone sing its praises. So for the last couple of nights I take about 5 minutes and run through all the channels. I must be missing something cause its all crap. Actually that's how I entertain myself as I go through the channels. I say "crap" at each channel. I just don't get it. I'd rather be doing a million other things than watching it.

I finally cooked in the place last night. Well sort of. I nuked a bunch of stuff since I got home late. I have my own shelf in the pantry which is nice. The refrigerator is a no man's zone with no order at all. Not enjoying that, but I'll live.

I will tell you I love my new bed. Sleeping in it is so good. I can't believe I kept my old bed so long.

I'm dealing with a leaky boat this week in the office. For every patient I have coming in another reschedules out of this week. Mike's getting very frustrated.

Pauper to Prince

Well I'm all moved into my new place. The movers were a god-send since it was already humid as hell at 8 am. They grabbed my stuff and had it delivered in under an hour. It was great. The one thing I realized going up and down the stairs in my new place is that I'm going to have really good legs. The stairs is a lot steeper than what I'm use to. It's nice to have everything in the room belong to me and be quality. The bedspread that the Comic picked out for me looks rich. The wrought iron headboard on the bed is a very nice touch. We decorated to keep a theme in each area. I'll take pictures tonight to show you. The cherry on the top of the cake is that the new bed is really comfortable.

I'm still getting use to everything in the new place. I've been told to expect a few golf balls to hit the house since we're right on the course. It does make for nice scenery. It's going to take some time to get use to not having a fan in the bathroom. I'm not liking getting out of the shower to everything being steamed up.

My new landlord will now be called Winegirl and my housemate the Dude. I grabbed dinner with them all last night and 2 of Winegirl's friends. It was very nice. We ate outside on the enclosed patio. With the sun just going down it was nice out there.

The Dude is 27 and very typical of his age. His room looks like a college dorm room. Nice guy and I've been informed that he's rarely there which I like. Winegirl is a people pleaser and a nice person. So I'm happy on all angles with my new digs.

The Comic and I had a discussion on the differences between boys and girls which was funny.

Comic: You know you can get sectional storage units for your shoes.

Me: Honey I only have two pairs of shoes that I use. The other three I just store.

Comic: What?!

Me: I have my work shoes. My sneakers stay in the car for gym. My dress shoes, dance shoes, and black sneakers just collect dust at the bottom of my closet.

Comic: well okay then.

Me: ((laughing))

These things when the happen just crack me up. Most of the time its more of a memory issue for the Comic who has had many surgeries to repair her shoulder. All the anaesthesia has damaged her short term memory. So she forgets that I can't eat cheese or am color blind and then asks me on them. You have to be there to enjoy it as much as I do.

It's nice to have everything coming together after the last few weeks. I can start concentrating on getting my life back in order.

In My Dreams - Kelly

I have to admit knowing who actresses and models are is not high on my list. So when I started this feature I admit that I had to google actresses who were over 40. Nothing against you younguns, but I'm more attracted to women near my age. So when I got the list I would say 60% of the names were meaningless to me. So as any guy in this age would do I Googled them. So this week is Kelly Hu. I have to admit I have a thing for Asians and Hispanics. It's the black hair and tanned skin. When I saw her pics I was thinking there was a mistake about the age, but nope. I've never seen her in a show, but I may have to now.

In a Funk

I seem to have found myself in a funk and not quite sure how I got here. If I had to pick the top two reasons I would say that one would be the Comics drunken texting. While nothing was weird or abusive. I got song lyrics and how much she cares about me all with a drunken flavor. While friends and loved ones drinking in front of me no longer bother me, drunken behavior still sets something off in me. It's an old tape of when I was young with my Dad. Just needing to separate the past from the present.

The other is one of my friends made some bad decisions over the last few days and he wonders how it's going to affect his wife. This has been coming on for a while and we talked about it. While I know I handled myself well in talking with him I feel a bit affected by it. Whether it again is accessing old tapes or not I can't tell.

Last night was my saying goodbye to a few things. The place where I've been living for the last 5 years and my Mom. I imagined the house like it use to be when the landlord was alive. I'm happy that so much has changed since it really forces me to realize that it will never be the same again. Even with his passing, the want to hold on to the past was still strong. My Mom was easier. I mostly just had a normal conversation, although one sided, with her while I took care of my laundry. The biggest thing I had realized over the last week and vocalized last night is that now with my Mom gone that desire for someone to take care of me is gone. I always knew it was a childhood desire still to be taken care of since I kind of grew up like a feral child taking care of myself. That desire to be taken cared of has lead me down many a bad roads. Hopefully it's fully gone now.

I have to admit I really enjoyed the night by myself and will set up Sunday, Monday, and Thursday as my nights by myself. It was good and refreshing. I'll talk to the Comic about it. I know she'll understand, but not like it. While she has many great qualities, fusion isn't one of them. I know she would be happy for us to be together 24/7. I like her being part of my life, not my life. We've had this conversation before so it will be nothing new.

I'll leave you today with a WTF moment. I got a friend request on Facebook this morning from guess who? Yep Kitcat. 2 months nothing and now this, oye. I ignored it. If we had spoken and then ended it I would have no problem, but now ? I don't think so. My guess is that she wants someone to do stuff with again and I was a nice guy. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Her loss.

Goodbye, I'll Miss You

I'm hanging out alone tonight. It's really the last night that I'll have nothing happening at the house. Tomorrow we'll pack the cars up with my clothes so everything will be ready for the movers Saturday morning. So I think I'll say goodbye to the house. I've been here 5 years which is a long time and I think it deserves a nice send off. I totally have no clue what I'm going to do, but I think I need something. Also while I'm at it I think I'll say goodbye to my Mom too. With that I think I'll just talk to her ashes.

A lot is changing in my life right now and I want to make sure I don't skip any steps. Especially with the Comic in my life. She grounds me in what's going on. I know I can easily slip into a more stoic mood when I'm by myself. When I'm with her I seem to stay better attached to my emotional side.

Last night's comedy show was great. J Medicine Hat changed it up which was great. I've seen many of his shows and know all the jokes and acts. With different people participating it's always different, but it can get a bit stale. So it was a big surprise to hear new jokes and see some different scenes. The Comic really enjoyed it which made me happy.

Even though its an oven outside today I'm getting back to my walks with L. I doubt if I'll do a full one after a few weeks off. My body is pretty much back to normal. I don't seem to need a nap during the middle of the day anymore.

The Last Meal

It was interesting to see the Comic's face when dealing with my Mom's remains yesterday. She mostly had sitcom jokes that she wouldn't share with me. For me it was just another object. I thought I might have some connection, but at last there wasn't any.

The Comic did help straighten up my room and finish packing for the weekend. I was very pleased with the results even during it I wanted to just be done with it. It was nice to hear her tell me what I deserved. Now it's just the waiting game to get it done and a have a new chapter begin.

I'm a bit melancholy today and it's from finish watching the last of Battlestar Galactica. It was a very good series and the loss and goodbyes of the last episode sparked some emotions in me, mostly loss. I see that I already know the things I have to finish up for my Mom and I'm okay with it. Like picking up her remains yesterday and the paperwork for her life insurance today. Anything else out of those lines is a problem. My brother is bothering me with not answering my question on how he is doing. While I don't care whether I get an answer or not. I wish he would stop asking me about how I'm doing with it. I'm still good with it where in I ask how he's doing and never get an answer. Oh well.

I tell you it's very funny with the Comic and I. The dichotomy of the sexes is so evident. Usually when we walk in a place I just know where stuff is. However on those occasions that I don't know and I start to wander, the Comic is quick to ask for directions. The other is with decorating. While the Comic has a flair for it, she already knows the point that she has to do cause I don't care. I agree that it looks better, but I'm good at a lower level.

Tonight I have free tickets to see J Medicine Hat which is a favorite of mine. The Comic has never seen him so this will be a treat.

The Crushing Clutter

I tell you losing my Mom is nothing compared to the chaos of the house. I'm constantly knocking into stuff and it's tumbling to the floor. I feel like a rat in a maze in my room. I can't believe how the chaos is destroying my mental sanity when I'm there. The Comic is coming over tonight to help me finish up packing. She also wants to organize everything in my room so it's not so disruptive to me.

I was surprised to get the phone call to come pick up my Mom's ashes today. I had stopped by the thrift store on the way to the place. They had a nice antique box which I picked up to hopefully place in it. The cashier asked what I was doing with the box. I told her it was for my Mom's ashes. I don't think she'll be asking anyone ever again. I was surprised that their was a lot more remains than I thought.

I did get a great gift from one of my patients today. Where she does physical therapy, she met someone that works in my Mom's facility. She told this story: Your Mom hadn't been talking much, and one day Debbie was trying to get her to eat. Debbie told your Mom that you were paying her $20 an hour to see that she ate. Your Mom said, "He's being robbed." Because she hadn't talked in a while, everyone just cracked up! It made my day and gave me several hours of laughter.

The office is still slow this week. I can't believe how much a difference it is from the last 2 weeks.

A New Life

A lot is going on right now. The Comic and I spent the weekend getting stuff ready for my move Saturday. I'll pretty much have a lot of new furniture for my new place. I finished up the wrought iron headboard yesterday. The queen size bed has nice new linens and the Comic was over-joyed that I had 2 crappy pillows to use the shams for. I'm pretty much using all the furniture I got for my Mom. It's solid wood, who knew? I liked it which was why I got it. The Comic loves it also and was happy to see I have taste. Now it's just finishing up the packing. My room is slowly running out of room. The rest of the house is a disaster area. Tone had to push off the estate sale one week because they got into one of the other attics and it was packed full of stuff. I swear the house looks like a hoarders place. There is a tiny path through the house with objects with price tags on it all over the place. The only thing that it's antiques or good stuff instead of junk.

The time I'm on my own I have moments of melancholy. Nothing major, just processing everything. From my Mom's death to the upcoming move.

Today is the Comic and I's one monthaversary. It was nice to have both of us be excited about it. I like how she lets me know how she feels and what she find special about me on a daily basis. It's very different for me. I have to admit that I'm happier than I have ever been with a woman before.

The funny thing is how I just slipped into the Comic's family life. Not so much with her kids, but with her mom and older sister. We played cards yesterday and it was a fun thing. Not use to this family stuff.

The office is still slow this week. While I've been able to get some of my older patients to come in. The lack of new patients is hurting any growth. I pulled out my old notebook from with my business coach to see what I've done in the past to redo stuff.

Bedding

Well with the help of the Comic I now am the proud owner of a big boy bed. The bed guy didn't have any full size so I upped to a queen size bed. With the price being $125 I wasn't going to quibble. I should be picking up a frame off of Craig's list for it tomorrow morning. The Comic's SIL had a wrought iron headboard for it which she gave to me. Now I just need to create something to attach it to the bed since that part was thrown out. Due to my being color blind I had the Comic help me pick up out a bed set which she did great.

The interesting thing as she helps me pack is that she points out that I have the life of a person that has loss everything. She points this out since I have very little in the way of stuff. It's a true fact. When I was young with out moves I would lose friends all the time. During my teen years my possessions were always of low priority and were tossed with any move. My ex took everything else. So maybe my poverty mentality has a different twist on it. Never getting anything to prevent it being taken away by someone else. You know strike first before someone else does even though it is to my own detriment.

((Not a picture of my bed))

Moving the Fragile Calm

People keep saying I'm going to have this big episode about my Mom's death. I don't know if they're right or wrong, but I've been good with it. I have my moments of sadness, but that is about it. I realized this morning why that may be. Having her dead is easier on me then when she was alive. Yesterday 2 separate things came up that I needed to do concerning my Mom. Then my stress level shot from a 1 to a 10. I was very happy to say the Comic found solutions for me in a few seconds that made it all better.

The first hurdle was that the cremation place called asking for a picture of my Mom to verify her since it was a new state law as of July 1st. I knew I had one since I just packed it in a box to ship to my brother. However my place and the cremation place were in opposite directions in the city. The Comic asked if I had anything on my computer I could email. Happily I did and they were good with it. Crisis averted.

The second one was when my SIL called and left a message. She wanted to know since people had been asking her about donations for my Mom. She had a good idea about something for the people who took care of my Mom since we know they don't make that much money. However I didn't want to do the footwork. Honestly in my head I don't fucking want to do anything else. The Comic suggested that I have them do the work since it could be done on the phone while they were on vacation in Florida. It was bump in the road for my brother when I told him, but my SIL happily said she would take care of it. Again crisis averted.

So last night the Comic and I started packing up my stuff for my move. I will take Tone up on her offer to leave stuff in my room to be sold in the estate sale. Hey if I get $30 it's more than I would get from the thrift store. The Comic also knows someone who sells beds cheap. So I will update my mattress which is old.

It's 3 more days to the one month point for the Comic and I. We both feel like we've known each other longer since things are going very well. We both know that we both are attracted to each other as well as feeling safe with each other.

The Game of Life

I want to thank everyone for the kind words. Doing well just tired. I'm good for about half the day before I start pooping out. If I get a nap I'm good to go. I also grabbed a massage yesterday to help with my muscles after all the travelling.

I pretty much finished everything up with my Mom yesterday for now. It's the waiting game now for the death certificates which will allow me to talk to her insurance agent. I need to check to see if their is anything I need to do with her social security. Although I'm sure her facility will take care of that. I finished informing everyone that I'm going to inform.

It was nice to have the Comic come over last night and go over pictures, mine and my Mom's. It was nice to be proud of how beautiful my Mom was. The Comic was good to fill in blanks that I've had on why certain decisions my Mom made. She has been good in that respect for a lot of things which has made it easier to put things to bed.

It's slow as molasses here at the office this week. The Comic is going to come by tomorrow and help me develop some marketing for the office since its what she does. I have to be thankful to Kitcat for helping me be open to asking for help again. It had been a long time coming.

I think I may have to go out and buy a bunch of toggle switches. Going to all the museums with Eric, we hit a bunch of exhibits with knobs, switches, etc. I tell you it's such a guy thing I know, but that stuff gives me a hard on (not really). I could stand there all day flipping them since it gives me so much pleasure.

I tell you I'm happy that I don't have to pack much up for my move cause I'm not in the mood to do it. Besides some books and games everything else will go as is.

I was happy to see the website for Eric's new school. It's for the gifted and talented. Like I informed Eric last week I was always worried that he wasn't being pushed enough in school. I'm happy than now he will. Also they are part of the ARIS system so I can follow Eric's school work on like since my ex is about as useful as tits on a bull with filling me in on him. Now I can just skip the middle person.

Saying Goodbye

Well I finally got the call yesterday that my Mom has passed. After seeing her Saturday I didn't think she would survive 3 days. The Comic was helpful with just losing her dad in May. She came with me to clear Mom's place which took about 20 minutes like I knew it would. Today I'm going over to the cremation society to finish all the paperwork since I had prepaid everything for Mom years ago.

I'm still a bit shut down emotionally from it. As always I can function normally, but I do feel the loss of part of my emotional self. I did cry some yesterday when the Comic and myself went to see Toy Story 3 with her family. If you haven't seen the movie it is a great one.

Quiet time seems to be the hardest. I'll have it off and on today between patients. The office is slowing down from being busier the last 2 months and I need to start planting seeds so they will grow in the coming weeks. While I don't see myself doing major stuff this week I can still do something. However like this paragraph my focus is wandering.

In My Dreams - Heather

I see I'm especially failing with this new entry of being regular with it. What can I say I just go with the flow of writing and I'll blame the rest on life. Yeah life that it'll work. Anyway this time around is a long time crush. Now I have to admit it's never been super heavy, but it has spanned decades and every time I see her I say she's attractive. It's Heather Locklear who I first saw on the Fall Guy and then on TJ Hooker. Both true classics of the small screen. I was never a Melrose Place fan and I can pass a lie detector test to prove it.

Return to Regular Scheduled Programming

Okay before you read this my disclaimer is that I haven't slept in 29 hours, traveled about 350 miles, and sitting in a very uncomfortable chair. Also I'm doing something that I never thought I would be doing. It's not blogging, although at one point in my life I had no idea what it was. It's listening to music from my laptop through earphones. I always like to be in contact with the world around me, but I'm so freaking tired I just want it blocked out. I'm just entering hour 5, with 5 more to go, here at Laguardia airport in NY. Eric and I came back to NY last night and again I couldn't sleep. I was very happy that he was able to though.

Our last day went very well. We went down to the bay to enjoy the water. Knowing L really came in handy there. Since she lives close to the water there it helped with parking. As I get older I could care less about the water which Eric wasn't too happy with. Although we got to play plenty of catch and built many a sand castle. Afterwards we went to the Children's museum, but it was still under construction so we hit the zoo cause its all happening there. It was a beautiful weather day to walk it.

The only snag in the day was that my ex had gotten Eric a cell phone before he left. As usual it wasn't about him, but her neurosis. Eric had kept in touch with her several times a day with it. So yesterday he texted her in the morning, but left the phone home since we went to the beach and he didn't want it damaged or loss. I didn't see anything wrong with his thinking especially since I would have my phone in case of any emergencies. Oh boy did she go off on him. He was crying when he got off the phone with her. It gave us a lot to talk about and I was honest with him how his mother is. I didn't put her down, but did explain that his mom had a problem (I didn't tell him that she has borderline personality disorder) and how I dealt with it. It really bonded us which is what it use to do when I was still married.

On the mother front, my Mom is now non-responsive. She's not eating or taking her medicine so I know she'll go soon which will be good. My brother and SIL have been a bit weird with it. My SIL was like keep us informed so we can come down if we need to. I was like if you want to say goodbye come on down cause once she's dead I'll have everything done with her in about 2 hours. I get very blunt when it comes to death and my Mom. My brother was asking if it was legal to not feed our Mom. I told him it was our Mom's decision not to have a feeding tube and we had both agreed on this several months ago. I don't think either of them have thought this all the way through. I think it's probably be the distance.

I tell you if the airport had some decent chairs it would be a fun experience here. The good so far is that I'm below 30 blog entries to still read in my Reader and I've caught up on my mail. The bad is that everything is 10 times more expensive here. On the food side I know they got me so I just fork the money over. But hey with all the other stuff come on. Oh yeah the airport is where I know I'll get a great deal on jewelry. Hey look t-shirts on sale for $30. The only thing free here is the ass raping.

Since I had that credit from last November that I need to use before I lose it. I'm taking the airline home. The Comic will be picking me up kicking us up another notch in the relationship scale with the airport pickup. I'll be kicked up another notch in 2 weeks when I move.

More Places

I'm slowly getting through all your blogs, mostly on my Blackberry so there is a lack of commenting on my part. I should be able to fully catch up Sunday when I'm hanging out at the airport.

I got the call from my Mom's hospice nurse that I should come see her since she had taken a turn for the worse. I think it was worse on Eric since his grandfather is also in hospice. He complained he couldn't get a break. It was rough on my end to try to explain a different way to look at it instead of that victim mentality of "woe is me". She had full body tremors and was foaming. She was unresponsive. I told her flat out she could go. This morning she is stable again. I'll see her tonight to see where she is at. I almost feel like the boy who cried wolf with talking to my friends about the situation.

I love my son, but I should have nicknamed him "half ass". Getting tired of keeping on him about stuff. I doubt my ex keeps on him about stuff. I see a lot of her bad habits in him. Besides that we've had a fun week together. While I'm complaining I have to add my ex onto that list. I know I should accept this but it still smarts. This week on her free time she's driving to NJ to see friends. Still can't make it to the airport for me and Eric though. This played out when Eric wanted to get a bunch of souvenirs for her and I was against paying for it. I gave him a price limit which he argued about, but he finally accepted what I was offering.

NY

Well I have a few minutes of free time to catch up with you all. I had everything memorized each day, but with everything happening it has pretty much slipped away.

Last weekend I got to meet the Comics family since they have instituted a family dinner the last weekend of the month. It was nice to meet everyone. I got to share Eating Raoul and 500 Days of Summer with her. We got to talk about relationships and what we want out of them. It's weird to have someone I'm dating say and do all the things I do in a relationship, like saying I cancelled my online profile. It's pretty cool.
The bus ride to NY was good. I had no idea what to expect so I ended up being asked to get off the bus to check in. However besides that it went smoothly. I only slept like 2 broken hours that first trip so I was a bit tired all day Monday. We got into Chinatown before 7 and I got to wander around. I forgot how much the city smells and is close together. I don't like it and the humidity didn't make matters any better. I grabbed a sandwich and took a seat over by Pace High School. I avoided all the homeless people and found a nice spot to watch all the residents of Chinatown come out to exercise. I was impressed by how many people came and went. Also by the variation on exercises that were practiced. While walking was big. Calisthenics and stretching were also very big on the side lines. I was happy to see many of the seniors walking backwards which is great for them. An interesting thing was the tapping/smacking of their bodies. It's done in massage to stimulate the muscles. So it was interesting to see everyone walking around tapping themselves. The best one and I wanted to take a picture of her, but I figured I would get arrested was of this old lady bent over smacking her own ass. It was hilarious. The other very interesting thing was watching all the seniors come out to do martial art forms with sword and fans. They may have done more, but I decided to move on.

I got to walk through some more of Chinatown and then through Little Italy. Both were barely awake during my passage. So I stopped at best rest stop around, Starbucks. I relaxed and cooled off there until I made my way over to the rental agency across the village. I was really surprised when I couldn't rent a car with my debit card. I had already done so in Florida. So I was pissed, but I quickly decided on a taxi ride to get him. However that would need more cash so I had to walk up 15 blocks to my bank to get some. I tell you my backpack was getting real heavy by then. I stopped by the Strand bookstore while I was up there. I haven't been there in about 25 years which is really freaking scary. It's not my favorite bookstore and a bit pretentious in my opinion. However it was cool and a enjoyable way to blow an hour.

I walked back down to Chinatown to pick up a souvenir for the Comic. The weirdest thing is that most of the stores didn't sell anything Chinese. It was all perfume, handbags, and jewelry. It was really hard finding a trading store. After many blocks I found one and got a lucky charm hanger for her.

My taxi ride to pick up Eric was interesting. There was a huge back up on the BQE. I had told him to go through the Battery Tunnel, but he decided on the BQE. So to avoid the traffic we did the high speed back road route. Now by high speed we must have at least been doing 55 on two way streets through Brooklyn. I had to put my seat belt on to not be thrown around the back. I have to admit we did get there pretty quick and in one piece. I'll pass on sharing on the yelling match he had with another driver.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful with us trying to stay cool which was hard with the heat index over a 100. Our bus was late which kind of sucked, but the ride back was uneventful. This time however I was able to sleep pretty well.

The ride back will be a bit different since its the holiday weekend and schedules are full. Eric and I are taking the bus back up to Chinatown. From there I'll again taxi him home and then I'll go to Laguardia airport. The bad part is that I'll be there probably 8 hours before my flight home. The good thing is that it will be in the AC and I'll bring my laptop to keep me occipied.