Saying Goodbye

Since I've been on this kick of doing stuff no matter how much it bothers me. Pretty much what would I do if I wasn't scared. So I finally took care of my Mom's ashes. Since it was pretty cool here last night there was no need for me to change into my shorts. I might have looked out of place in my work clothes, a discman, and a kid's pail and shovel. Hey don't judge me. I was a bit anxious with the few beach goers that were around, but most didn't give me a second look. I played Neil Diamond's "Holly Holy" which just worked for me. I made a small ditch below the water line and spread her ashes there so that water could spread them out. I also took a bit and tossed it into the wind since its traditional. It was a beautiful night for it. I had a nice full moon on my right side and a beautiful sunset on the left. I didn't really have much to say as I listened to the music. So I wrote, "I love you Mom" in the sand. In the beginning I was a bit sad, but that was quickly washed away with just a nice clean feeling. A bit hard to explain. It felt good to get it done and close another chapter in my life.

Still no contact with Eric. I'll try again tonight since there was no pick up on his end, plus my ex still hasn't finalized his voice mail. On the other end I still haven't heard any response to my 2 texts I sent her for information about Eric for his health insurance. I guess it wasn't that important.

Since I had a large window this morning of free time I went to the Starbucks that is suppose to be the replacement for my old one. OMG I hate that place. It was always a unorganized mess in there. Too many tables and chairs for the space. Now with the extra business it was a nightmare of noise and disjointed seating arrangements.