Relationships Are Important

That was my big flashing insight today at my business class. I know relationships are important, but business wise I don't do all that I can do. So I upped the ante today with birthdays. I always send birthday cards so I added in today calling to wish them a happy birthday also. An extra minute or two out of my day, but I know it will make a big difference in someone elses. I didn't sing today, but I may do it next time. Not quite sure if that will make it worse?

Someone was trying to guess what Tech girl looked like. Well she was in the singles pics from the weekend. So I cropped her out to show you.

I texted her this morning about how I was looking forward to seeing her. I see that she is slow on responses. However she agreed and hoped my day was good. It will be a little weird seeing her at the event then going out with her. I'm not quite sure how to act.

B is for Bitch

Well today is day 2 of no contact with Eric (actually I we haven't talked since last Wednesday), but we catch up in the beginning of the week. This usually happens every few months when my ex gets a very large bug stuck way up her ass. At least there is a reason this time that I know of. Usually it's just a dice roll. I use to put trackers on all packages, but haven't done it in a while. Oh well I'll lie if the package mysteriously disappears which I wouldn't put pass her.

I had to make an appointment to see the Stylist today. My hair has been looking long, but I figured I just saw her. However I realized that we had talked about my breakup with the Planner and that was over 2 months ago. Yikes! So now I'm all clean cut for Tech girl tomorrow night. I'll text her in the morning telling that I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Tech girl will be the first girl in a long time that has black hair which I do like better than blond which is the majority of hair color down here. She has a different look than I usually go for, but she is highly touchy which I love. If you have ever read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" (highly recommended) I'm big with physical touch. Everything is good with me if I'm hugged, hand held, rubbed, touched, etc. Hey what can I say I'm easy.

The Christmas Present

As some of you may remember Eric really wanted one of those Nerf blasters. He pointed out other toys, but we came to the Nerf rack at least 20 times over 3 stores. All with the same question. Why doesn't mom like guns. Besides not liking violence I really didn't have an answer especially since she can be a physically violent person.

So I texted my ex about it during my visit with Eric. However over a week of not hearing anything from her, I bought it. Since then it has been wrapped and prepared for mailing.

Yesterday I got a text telling me she wasn't comfortable with it, but to do what I thought best which is her usual passive aggressive MO. I tell you it still makes my stomach clench. My usual anger came up about if it doesn't concern her she doesn't do anything in a reasonable amount of time. The world will wait for her and if it doesn't she can be a martyr.

The present is for Eric so I'm doing what I think is appropriate. If I didn't think that I wouldn't have bought if for him. My hope is that she won't guilt him on playing with it.

What I'm working on tonight is not having any resentment towards her since I received no call from Eric today and no answer when I called tonight. Nothing ever changes.

Just So You Know

I talked to Tech girl tonight. We actually talked for about 40 minutes which I was surprised. I don't usually talk that long, although we have seen each other a few times at singles events. So with both of us having things going on this week we settled on Wednesday after the museum. She won't have eaten dinner and it allows us to talk some more. We actually covered most of the basics tonight. Again I was surprised. Tech girl seems to be upfront with everything which I like. So I'll see how it goes.

It's a Major Award

I do want to thank all you ladies for my award for email asking out the Tech girl. Hey I know it wasn't the best, but I always try to strike while the iron is hot. Also I have problems with instant gratification at times. Anyway you'll all be happy to know she emailed me her cell number to call her today. I wasn't quite sure it was going to happen, but I see she's read the book on dating schedules.

German girl is laughing her ass off that again I'm going through the tunnel for a woman. She's always wanted me to do so. Actually she's wanted me to come all the way up to Williamsburg which is a minimum of an hour depending where you are in the city. I don't think so. Besides the driving I have to admit I'm not moving. I've spent way too much blood, sweat, and tears in building my practice. Moving is never an option. You lose 25% of your patients with each move. I loss more when I moved the 2 blocks from my last place. The peninsula would be like starting over.

Today has been my usual relaxing Sunday. Sleeping in late and not getting much done. Well actually I rummaged through my storage unit. I found a bunch of books that I'll drop off at the thrift store. Threw out a bunch of broken dishes and the last of my ex pictures that were in a box. I found some of my books on talking to your kids about sex. I read them when Eric was young so I figured I could brush up on everything. It really did help paving the ground work when he was young. Every time I interact with him I can always tell he's my son. We're just the same in how we express our love, communicate, etc.

I think I'll give Tech girl an option. She's coming down Wednesday for our museum event, but that will be done by 8. I know she's coming straight from work so we could grab something to eat then. Or just have our own night some other time.

Whoops I Did it Again

The holiday parade was small town which was surprising since we're a city of a half million. It was a good turn out of people from the group. I have to admit I was glad that it was short since the wind was whipping down the road.

Afterwards we headed over to Kelly's for a drink and a bite to eat. We had a lot of fun joking around. I was going to sit at the end of the table, but Tech girl made a comment that she didn't want to open seat next to her just in case another member showed up. I originally thought of taking the seat since we had been flirting and joking during the parade. This continued while we sat around talking. She's a good touchier with a funny sense of humor.

Afterwards we headed back to Town Center to see what else was going on. We got to sign cards going to the military over seas for the holidays. We took pictures with Santa. A few got hot chocolate while we listened to the music. Then we decided to end it.

Now for half of the night I'm thinking of asking Tech girl out. My biggest problem is do I want to drive back to the Peninsula to see her like I did with the Planner. Other than that I didn't see any problem with her. I wanted to ask her when we split, but she headed off with another of the girls. So I did something I'm not a big fan of, I asked her out by email. So we'll see what happens.

Dating Profile

Since I had time today I sat down and charted out all the women I've dated since I separated from my ex. It was interesting to see. The biggest was Spa girl. I knew she was trouble, but DAMN was she hot and definite arm candy. Besides that my list is all negative traits. The other was the other end of the spectrum Law girl. While the most normal woman I've ever dated and all positive stuff, it was a small list. Chemistry was both low for us, but it was just such a new experience for both that we went out for a while.

The pattern I'm happy to see is less manipulative women than I use to be with. Aroma girl while a big positive in my life had a lot of unvoiced plans that she was trying to implement with me. L also fitted here with me being delegated to her boy toy.

I seem to jump back and forth from a non abused woman to an abused woman and back again. L, Spa girl, and the Photographer were all abused (physically/sexually). While the Photographer was the only one to recover healthy from it she still brought a lot of un-needed chaos into her life. I do relate to them the best, however whether that is a basis for attraction is beyond me. On attraction I have dated all different shapes and sizes, but I seem to be more attracted to an athletic build.

On of the biggest things I didn't want after my ex was a timid woman which I'm happy to say I've stayed on track with. Most of the women have had high initiative or were very socially active. L was the only one to buck this, but she made it up with a whole world of sex.

An interesting side note is that from Aroma girl who I dated 3 years ago to the Planner and the Photographer this year I didn't feel truly safe with the women I was with. I fell back to an old habit that I didn't even realize. I have to make sure I don't do that again. So I guess a list of things I'm looking for would be:

1. attractive
2. feel safe with
3. assertive
4. has goals
5. PDA's are big
6. sexual
7. good communication skills
8. fairness with paying

Save Water

It's pretty damned funny that people drink bottled water to stay healthy, but now there are so many empty plastic bottles that they are becoming a waste problem. Now they're trying to make recycled paper bottles to be more green. I don't see it catching on for some reason.

The Landlord made it back last night. It's funny, but I told Saturn girl one of the reasons I don't move out is that I like having someone else around. After a minute catch up my landlord and I didn't interact, but it was nice to have someone else in the house. Still it's a bizarre feeling since I grew up being alone so to have it make me feel uncomfortable is weird.

German girl asked if my friendship with Saturn girl was me connecting healthier with a woman. Since I'm always the constant in all my relationships. I told her I didn't think so since I feel this large hole where a relationship would be. Not that I would know what a very healthy relationship would feel like, but I do know a bad one which I'm happy to say. I do want to sit down today or tomorrow and list all the women I've dated for any amount of time and find out the commonalities, both good and bad, of all of them. To see what's attracting me. I did it after I split from my ex and it gave me a good picture of the women up to that time. However since I've dated a lot more women since then and also I've changed over the years. It would be useful to do the exercise again.

Tonight the singles and I are off to see the city's holiday event. It's the 2nd annual so having never seen it before it will be interesting.

Black Friday

Well all the stocking have been hung. Black Friday is traditionally when I decorate the office and this year was no different. No major overhauling or anything, but like the other 11 months of the year I like to keep it decorated in here. All the hours I put in here I like a little difference and the patients seem to like my flair for decorating. (sorry no camera today for pics) I think I'll decorate my room tonight when I get home for something to do.

I think I'm going to have to go postal on Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield. They have so much of my money and they're trying to hold onto it for as long as possible. I'm use to getting my weekly checks from them and this month I only got one. Since they are my biggest payer I'm really taking it in the ass with their tactics.

Except for myself all my holiday shopping is finished since I hate being in the stores this time of year. Down here is nothing like it was back in NY. The weird thing is I was in that Walmart where that worker was trampled this morning with Eric 2 weeks ago. It was a mob scene then so I can easily see it happening. Monday I'll head over to the post office and mail out Eric's and my niece's presents so I don't have to deal with the post office anymore this year.

No More Lonely Nights

Thanksgiving day was nice and I was enjoying myself to about 4 o'clock. As it started to get dark the realization of being alone really sunk in for some reason. It really pulled me down to a point even I was surprised.

The funny thing that pulled me back up was the realization I could have asked 3 different women out yesterday. With my head on straight I was able to think of away to solve my dilemma. I knew that Saturn girl was free today since she had Thanksgiving last weekend when relatives visited. So I emailed her to see if she was around and if she wanted to get together to play some boardgames which I knew she enjoyed. I got a response after a while saying she was up for it, but she just needed to drop some soup off at her daughter's house who was sick. So I grabbed some games and headed on over.

She lives in the same complex as CPA girl. It was almost deja-vu walking in the place since it's the same set up. It was a fun evening talking and playing games. I found out we have a lot in common like both our favorite shows is Two and Half Men. There were other things that I was surprised.

She did ask if I knew how the Photographer was doing. I told her I hadn't talked to her in a week and that she had been dating Gameboy for awhile. Since we had gone to the Halloween party together she probably thought we were still together.

I never got any vibe from her that she was feeling any chemistry for me. So the Laws of Attraction still puzzle me. While it was a really fun night, lots in common, the chemistry was very low. Hey this is just like CPA girl, maybe it's the complex. On the other side of the fence I had the Destroyer yesterday that I had to bite my tongue not to ask her out. There doesn't seem like anyway to tip the odds in my favor.