Stolen Innocence

Being at a milestone in my relationship with the Comic did one thing for me, push me away from her.  While I kept myself tethered to her over the last few days doing all my normal stuff that I would do in a relationship.  I didn't feel the connection like I had been.   

It came up last night when we were talking about my stuff in my room.  Some parts of it still don't feel like mine, while others I've owned.  The Comic pointed out that so much of my life was ripped away from me that I would feel apprehensive about enjoying my stuff again.  And their it was.  Why I was feeling unconnected to her?  The Comic is important to me and I love her very much.  So there is a lot of chance to be hurt if I lose her like I've loss things and people before.  So as usual, I started backing out the door a little.  Not fully out, but I was making sure I was protected if everything was pulled away.  Health?  Sane?  No.  I know that, but it's reflexive.  It was nice to talk to her about it and have her accept it.  Plus having her reaffirm to me how much I mean to her was very helpful.  I have to admit that is her best quality.  The Comic always affirms where I am in her life which is a good thing for me. 


Bit tired today.  I went over early to see the Comic and family in the hospital since her mom is having surgery today.  I've come to know her mom pretty well since we end up talking twice a week when she comes in for treatment.  I still find it weird to have an adopted family that I cherish more than my blood one.