To Make War

I had made a decision to have them send my Mom back home from the hospital today. Things like this push me far to the right (or left if you like). My expectation is that I'm going to have a fight on my hands. It's a belief that has come from personal experience growing up. However in those days I either was a child and had little power to change things or as an adult waited to long to make a change. Either way, I learned I had to go overboard to get what I wanted done. So things like this blow my serenity right out of the water. I did a bunch of praying and meditating before heading out to the hospital and even called a few people. When I got there I found they had moved her and had to play Sherlock Holmes to find her. However I was pleased to find the doctor in the room when I got there. I asked what the plan was for my Mom and she said she could go home tomorrow since they were no longer doing IV on her. I agreed that anything being done here was redundant to what could be done at her facility. I was happy there was no battle and she was cute so all was right with the world. My Mom had her voice today which I was surprised. She was a broken record repeating the same "Frank and Karen love you" which I tell her if I talk to my brother and SIL.

Afterwards I relaxed at Starbucks to continue to get my head on straight. It's been a week of letting the house go. Like I stated last week I need a "fuck up" area and this has switched to the house. So I'm taking back the place today. I vacuumed and took care of the plants. Did my usual straigthening up. I want that happy feeling I have when all is right here. I just have to make sure I don't backslide at work.

I'm starting to get back into the dating mindset, but paying all this money for my Mom this month is making it a tough month. Every 3 months I have extra bills which put more pressure on me. So I know I'm going to be stressed until the month ends. So I know it's never a good time when my focus is elsewhere.

Mik's Getting Angry

I'm getting pissed at everyone. I'm resenting the fact that I'm paying a lot of money to keep my Mom's room available at her place. Also the hospital is on my list now. My Mom's stable and everything they are doing can be done can be done at her facility. I feel this is being milked. So tomorrow I need to talk to the hospital and get my Mom sent back home. I feel a battle coming on, but legally I know I have the right to do so. However I know the hospital's wish is to prolong my Mom's life and mine is just to be what it is. My brother just confirmed this when talking to one of his friends that's gone through this situation. We both agreed to get her out of there.

It was a decent morning at work today since I wasn't planning to go in. However enough patients rescheduled for today to make it worth it. Again all the money I made just went out the window with my Mom.

I was hoping to relax with the singles today with our bowling game. However the Girl Scouts and a birthday party took over the place. Not a single lane was available. So I called everyone about the change of plans.

Sinking Friday

What stated as an awesome day at work has now struck and iceberg and slowly sinking beneath the waves. Most everyone has called and rescheduled which I'm happy about. I wasn't planning on coming in tomorrow, but since almost half my patients are now coming in tomorrow I made the concession. I hate when things change so fast.

No word from my Mom's doctors, but I'll stop by the hospital later to see if they are releasing her today or not. My hope is they are. It was nice that Asp texted me yesterday to see what was going on.

A night out at the Funny Bone last night with the singles was much needed. They comedians were good and the crowd even better. Nikki Glazer was joking about taking phone pictures of her privates to send to her boyfriend when one of the women in the front told her how to do it better. This same woman announced later that her fiancee wasn't working out, he was probably gay, and hadn't bought her a birthday present the last 2 years. It was hilarious.

Thank You Sir

So I'm on my way to see my Mom in the hospital. I get a phone call from her facility telling me how sorry to hear that she's in the hospital. Well that's very nice until they tell me this is how much I'm going to owe to keep her bed open. Holy shit, hit me when I'm down. At least give me a reach around before you fuck me in the ass. Sorry I'm a bit angry at the moment. I guess I feel like a sucker for sending her to the hospital. I guess its old feeling of trying to do the right thing and getting crapped on. I know that I'm only in control of my actions and not the responses, but sometimes it's hard to accept that.

Anyway I talked to my brother and we'll split the bill which is a blessing even though I don't have the extra on my end. Like all things it'll just be another bill to pay off. My hope is that she'll go home tomorrow since they think she has pneumonia, but the x-rays weren't definitive. If nothing is on x-ray it isn't that bad. So hopefully she respond to the antibiotics quickly.

To relieve my stress I stopped by Starbucks to just relax for an hour. I'm actually glad I have tickets to the Funny Bone tonight since I could use the laugh.

Treadmill Thursday

I feel like I'm on a very fast treadmill today. After waking up and turning on my cell phone. Yes I keep it off while I sleep since I like to sleep. I know I'll freaking kill you if you wake me up for something stupid. Since I don't want to go to jail I keep it off. Anyhow after a moment I get the freaky music from Kill Bill going. It's the one I use for my Mom's place since I know it's never good news and there is no reason to sugar coat it. They inform me that my Mom started having problems breathing during breakfast and her BP was over 200. Her doctor's recommendation was to send her to the ER. As usual they needed my consent since she's on comfort care which means they are not to prolong her life in any means besides giving her comfort. I was informed a little while ago she has pneumonia.

Of all mornings for this to happen was a busy morning. I don't struggle as much anymore on how much I'll detract from my life to handle this stuff with my Mom. This is why everyone paid. To take care of her and keep me informed. The other half is that with prolonged problems you pass over that line when death is a better thing and I've been there for a long time. I've done everything I can so that if she goes I'm okay. However it still is a workout not to toss my whole life out the window to go ASAP to the hospital. I'll head out in another hour once I finish here, but I know I need to take care of myself first.

One of the things I had this morning was my session with business coach which always ends up with a list of things for me to do. Again it's all me, but I can feel the pressure to get the stuff done. The problem I don't have the time now with my Mom's problem. The result is I feel stressed and on a fast roller coaster. I know what to do since I deal with this with my patients on a daily basis, but it's always a different thing to initiate it myself.

Jello Molds

I hate swimming. No not that kind. Swimming in my clothes or shoes. I do like snug stuff. I'm a briefs guy instead of a boxer for that reason. Got to have my boys supported. The last thing is I need laces on my shoes. I've tried many times when I'm buying shoes to check some loafers out, but yuck. My foot is slipping and sliding inside.

The reason for all of this is I went to see Up in the Air last night. I thought it was a great movie. Everyone liked it in the singles group, but the guys seem to enjoy it more than the women. I know why, but I won't spoil it for you. Anyway one of Clooney's big things is lace less shoes so he can quickly get through airport security. Stay with me here as I switch to how my weird mind works. Twice a week I need to go out to get the paper off the driveway and sometimes out of my car. For these quick runs it is a pain to have to lace up my shoes. I could get some slippers to make the run, but I think I'd rather complain about it.

I did realize last night I need one are to kind of fuck around in. Since I've been on myself to get everything that needs to be done at work which is going well. I find myself needing to have another part of my life kind of dangle. It's like pushing on jello. Push in one spot and it comes up in another. However I use to always have a small pile of stuff in my place. I just always had to have it to have the other 90-95% done good. Nowadays that pile is gone. So I'm trying to slide that ability over to this.

I had a pleasant surprise last night when I looked at my email. A long lost friend had contacted me. We hadn't talked since 2005. He found an old email saved with my address still on it. It was good to catch up and hopefully the contact will stay.

Quiet Tuesday

When I got home last night I was amazed to finding both driveways glowing. Well not actually glowing, but boy did they stand out in the dark. I knew we were getting the house pressure washed yesterday, but I didn't expect the driveways to be done too. I didn't even park on it last night since it was so nice to look at.

While yesterday was a great day in the office, today is less than spectacular. So I've been working on a few presentations that I want to do to talk to a some local businesses. I finally took down all the stuff from the health fair that never happened. Plus packed up everything I no longer needed here in the office so I can get the massage room going again.

The local recreation center I go to stopped by today to offer me the last chiropractors spot on their magazine rack. If they didn't want all the money up front I might consider. In my profession people don't usually look for me until they need help. I know a few of the people down there and have gotten a few patients that way. While people putting my face with what I do might be nice I'm not quite sure it balances out the price tag.

Since my evenings are busy this week L and I are beach walking tonight before I meet the singles for $1 movie Tuesday. We're seeing Up in the Air tonight.

Monday's Work Out

I'd like to report that I'm happy and it's a busy day in the office. Two things that I do like. If it was like this everyday that could be a good thing.

I had a petty feeling moment Saturday which has lasted till now since I really haven't mentioned it yet to anyone. So here's your news flash. Asp went shooting on Saturday. When we were dating I was trying to get this scheduled for us since she had stated the desire to do so. However with us falling apart it never happened. I guess it's some part of grief, but it did make me feel wonkers for a while.

One thing I don't like about the gym is that women don't wear their wedding rings while they work out. I'm not even going to go into the women that wear rings on their ring finger just for the hell of it. Anyway I usually shoot to the gym during the day when I have an opening at work. Most of the women I run into are in the senior set or stay at home mom's/wives. I say this because their is a woman I run into every so often. She's an older version of the Planner in looks, so I'm very attracted to her. Now I usually just run in and out of the gym like a duck mating since the women I meet are in the above category. This woman seems different though. So I might have to start slowing down my routine to see if I can chat her up.

I was thinking of using a reminder phone call service for the practice. However I'm not quite sure how cost effective it's going to be. Since my volume is still low I might just call the newer and problem patients to remind them. My established patients have this down pat.

I Made This

I get a proud feeling when I open my pantry closet. I know I'm strange, but it's mine and makes me happy. No this is not a picture of mine. Like I was telling L yesterday, this is the first time I really lived on my own. College was the only other time which truly isn't living on your own when its dorm life. I don't mind cleaning the place up when it's my mess. I use to get this feeling when the landlord use to go on his trips and I'd be here for a few weeks by myself. However since he's not coming back this time and he's presence in the house is long gone, I've come to feel like this is my domain. Once I get all my debt out of the way I would like to move into my own place whether it be an official apartment or something that is truly my own. Looking at it with hindsight I see this progression of growing with places.

Tonight's Funny Bone event was fun. Even better since I wasn't hosting. However everyone showed up late, even the guest host. Since we had to be there early to pick up the free tickets it worked out. We were right next to the stage and I and one other member got picked on. I made out better than she did. All he wanted to know is if I ever get stopped by airport security. He asked her if she liked jizz on her face. Yeah the last comedian was a bit over the top.

Sunday Order

It was nice to sleep in this morning which is something I've tried to do a few times this week to no success. Last night I finished cleaning the place with making the other beds and vacuuming the floors to make it up to my standards. God I have standards now. Today I finally unloaded a bunch of stuff to the thrift store that had been taking up a corner of my room. Order seems to have been restored.

Needing a break from the house I headed over to my usual Starbucks to work on a presentation I'm trying to get off the ground. I saw the French girl I like who's there every Sunday. She didn't give me the time of day. The weird thing was that I kept finding this teenage girls eyes on me from across the room.

Tonight it's off to the Funny Bone with the singles for some laughs. It's been a while since we had anything there and it'll be nice to go again.

In my decision to increase my standards I'm enforcing my "no show" policy as of 3/1. While I'll probably never get a dime of the money I will be able to cut the patients that are problems. I was talking to my brother about this and he said he had no problem with the rule since he wasn't a no show person. The people who will have the problem will be a problem. It's like the deadbeats that scream and curse at the $5 annual fee for my singles group. If you can't make the part with the $5 then you're not good for this group or anyone in it.