Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

That Makes Me Smile

I was very happy to hear from Eric today. I use to ask him if everything is okay, but I don't need him to put him on the spot and repeat my ex's lame ass excuses. He was doing well, but he got sick on the field trip to see the Christmas show at Rockefeller Center. This happens often with him. I know its nerves, but I can't put my finger on the cause. Unless it goes back to when they flew out of here when we the marriage ended. A mystery to solve to help him.

I decided to get a Sonicare toothbrush again. I use to have one when I was married. I got one for both my ex and me, but she never used it. I have no clue what happened to mine. I thought it was in a box in storage with the rest of my bathroom stuff, but I was wrong. Since it's $500 for the cleaning I need from the dentist which I can't afford. I figured a higher class of toothbrush was in order to hopefully hold anything off.

I found out that the library is one of Tech girl's favorite place when I was visiting it today. She has a silly sense of humor that I'm enjoying. I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow and I've already been informed that she doesn't just invite anyone to her home.

Passing Time

I suggested seeing a patient after hours tonight since I knew she worked late and was in excruciating pain. However sitting here for hours has been a drag. The one thing that has made it fun has been texting and flirting with Tech girl. Some how we've suggested spanking, garters, lots of hugging and kissing, and being on Santa's Naughty list (which she says she's already on). It may be cold outside, but I'm toasty here. We might have to pass on the museum Sunday.

The Award Ceremony

Okay now I have to award the Marie Antoinette award to others. The rules say 7 people, but I think they were on crack. Do that and we'll be out of people really fast. Anyway without any further ado. The envelopes please:
  1. Jen at My 33 People who always brings us with her when she's out with friends and family. Providing pictures to make you feel you're right there with them.
  2. Ana at Inconvenient Truth who struggles with a new marriage, sobriety, and an ex.
  3. Marlena at The Exception who brings up a lot of good questions about life, parenting, being single, and the occasional dating one.

Here are the rules for the Award:

1. Please put the logo on your journal - Real People - Real Blogs.

2. Place a link from the person, from whom you received the award.

3. Nominate at least 7 if you can.

4. Put the links of those on your journal.

5. Leave a message on their journal to let them know.

6. Put the award on your sidebar/journal.

In the Name of Love

I was going to text my ex, but I think I'll write a letter instead. Most would probably think it's "let me talk to my son" letter, but it's not. Eric is like me, physical touch means love. When we're together he wants to wrestle, a massage, or just to lie against me on the couch. I think that's what made my teenage years even more horrible. I was moved down to the bottom of the totem pole when my Mom's BF came into the picture.

Anyway I want to make sure he's getting enough at home so he doesn't go looking for it any place else. My ex and her family are not a very physical family. With me she went up and down, but it was always work for her.

This brings me to Tech girl. We texted back and forth last night jokingly until she asked if I wanted to call to wish her goodnight. So we talked a while. It was funny we both realized during the day how much we had talked and on topics that we don't talk to other people about. We both agreed that we tone down our talking to match the people in our lives and it was nice to not have to. Tech girl likes that I'm very easy to talk to which I've heard many times before. I think she really loves the quality time we had together. The problem for me is that she wasn't physical with me like she was Saturday night. This made me realize why I felt so safe with Aroma girl, Planner, and the Photographer. They were all physical women. Touch was big for them like it is for me.
I'll take the lead with Tech girl Sunday when we get together. However I have to admit this is a problem for me. Spontaneous love happens for up the first 2 years of a relationship. After that it's work to keep it going and growing. If it's not natural for you in the beginning will it always be a problem. I don't have any answers, I'm just more conscious of what drives me. So I'll have to see what happens.
An interesting thing was the end of our phone call last night was not the way she wanted or expected. I could tell when I was getting off. I had already wished her a good night sleep and I would talk to her today, but there was a pause on her side. Like she was waiting for something. For the life of me I don't know what.

Executive Decision

I'm exhausted. I guess going to sleep at 2:30 isn't a good thing for a good nights sleep. I mean it was worth hanging with Tech girl. She knows a lot of movie and cartoon quotes. No offense to any ladies, but she can do great sound effects. Having an art and biology degree makes her interesting to talk to. However my ass is dragging today as is hers I found out. I had to joke with her statement about being a night owl. She says it was all the talking. I decided it was too early to go with a comment of we don't have to talk next time.

Anyway I'm going to reschedule my continuing education class tonight till next month since there is no hurry for it. I'm not going to learn anything and it's just going to be a torture session listening to someone talk for 3 hours. It's been pretty dry so far so I don't have high hopes. Hey I get what I pay for. Free.

A Real Award

Hey an award that's better than a shot to the nuts. I want to thank Winivere for the Marie Antoinette award. It might take me a day or two to pass it on since I think everyone I know has one.

On other notes I texted Tech girl the answers to her questions last night.
  • Where is hootenanny? I don't remember how it came up, but we were trying to figure out how to spell it. Yes we were pretty punch drunk at the time.
  • What are cones? Color is detected through them instead of rods.
  • What is the X chromosome? Women can be color blind, just less likely. This came up with my color blindness.

She said she was dragging which was funny since she stated she was a night owl. I know I'm going to be dying tonight during my class. Okay I know Tech girl likes me, but it's interesting that she is different in more of a romantic setting.

Still no word from Eric which is just a pain in the ass. God I feel like I'm married again.

Post Date Report

Okay it's waaaay later than I thought it would be before I got home. I'm exhausted, but I need to collect my thoughts and I know some of you wait up for these reports.

The singles event at the museum went well with many new faces which is always good. I wandered around waiting for Tech girl to show up. I really didn't want to start the Norman Rockwell exhibit till she got there. So I read the brochure and the first room's bio. It worked out well since she arrived shortly after. She was dressed very nicely which was a surprise coming straight from work. We took our time walking the exhibit reading the plaques of information. Tech girl surprised me with her art background which was very impressive. She's a very smart cookie. So we walked and talked then I asked if she wanted to get something to eat since I knew I was getting hungry. So we said our goodbyes to the group and left.

I gave her the choice of following me or coming in my car. She choose my car and off we went. The food at Fellini's was good as usual. We talked a lot. Tech girl does somewhat dominate the conversation. While I usually ask a lot of questions, I do have some things I want to say which was hard to get in.

The weirdest thing was that I couldn't read her body language and she wasn't touching me at all which was opposite of Saturday night. So by the end of the meal I figured that was going to be it. We part as friends. After she returned from the bathroom I asked if she wanted to stay or go. She said it was still early for her and we continued talking. After a while of more talking we decided to go.

When we got back to her vehicle we saw the light was on inside. So she got out turned it off and then hopped back in my car. Okay I guess she's enjoying herself. So we talk and joke for another hour. Honestly besides not saying she's going I can't tell what she's thinking. The conversation is good and I'm actually stating my beliefs on society which I usually don't do. I'll usually pass on putting a strong belief out there at this point, but I'm thinking what the hey. Anyway Tech girl starts to get silly and we joke around. For me I need an indicator where this is going.

So I lift her chin and kiss her. She's surprised or nervous. I'll go with the latter since I didn't pounce. Tech girl doesn't really kiss back so I make it quick and I drop back to our goofiness. We talk and joke another 30 minutes and I suggest a second date in a lull which she's all for. Anyway now she's getting tired and with that the goofiness increases so we have a fun time. At some point I'm hugging her since we are both laughing so hard. When we're finished I can see she's looking at my lips so I kiss her again. It's better than the first time, but no romance novel. So we called it a night.

Final thoughts. Well we have a lot in common in beliefs and interests. I can't believe how close she lives to the Planner. For a very assertive woman in most parts of her life I'm surprised to see her so demure with me in a romantic setting. I'm not quite sure what the chemistry level is, but that's what a second date is for. I almost broke out laughing when she had on these rectangular glasses after the Guy'ners comment.

Relationships Are Important

That was my big flashing insight today at my business class. I know relationships are important, but business wise I don't do all that I can do. So I upped the ante today with birthdays. I always send birthday cards so I added in today calling to wish them a happy birthday also. An extra minute or two out of my day, but I know it will make a big difference in someone elses. I didn't sing today, but I may do it next time. Not quite sure if that will make it worse?

Someone was trying to guess what Tech girl looked like. Well she was in the singles pics from the weekend. So I cropped her out to show you.
I texted her this morning about how I was looking forward to seeing her. I see that she is slow on responses. However she agreed and hoped my day was good. It will be a little weird seeing her at the event then going out with her. I'm not quite sure how to act.

B is for Bitch

Well today is day 2 of no contact with Eric (actually I we haven't talked since last Wednesday), but we catch up in the beginning of the week. This usually happens every few months when my ex gets a very large bug stuck way up her ass. At least there is a reason this time that I know of. Usually it's just a dice roll. I use to put trackers on all packages, but haven't done it in a while. Oh well I'll lie if the package mysteriously disappears which I wouldn't put pass her.

I had to make an appointment to see the Stylist today. My hair has been looking long, but I figured I just saw her. However I realized that we had talked about my breakup with the Planner and that was over 2 months ago. Yikes! So now I'm all clean cut for Tech girl tomorrow night. I'll text her in the morning telling that I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Tech girl will be the first girl in a long time that has black hair which I do like better than blond which is the majority of hair color down here. She has a different look than I usually go for, but she is highly touchy which I love. If you have ever read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" (highly recommended) I'm big with physical touch. Everything is good with me if I'm hugged, hand held, rubbed, touched, etc. Hey what can I say I'm easy.

The Christmas Present

As some of you may remember Eric really wanted one of those Nerf blasters. He pointed out other toys, but we came to the Nerf rack at least 20 times over 3 stores. All with the same question. Why doesn't mom like guns. Besides not liking violence I really didn't have an answer especially since she can be a physically violent person.

So I texted my ex about it during my visit with Eric. However over a week of not hearing anything from her, I bought it. Since then it has been wrapped and prepared for mailing.

Yesterday I got a text telling me she wasn't comfortable with it, but to do what I thought best which is her usual passive aggressive MO. I tell you it still makes my stomach clench. My usual anger came up about if it doesn't concern her she doesn't do anything in a reasonable amount of time. The world will wait for her and if it doesn't she can be a martyr.

The present is for Eric so I'm doing what I think is appropriate. If I didn't think that I wouldn't have bought if for him. My hope is that she won't guilt him on playing with it.

What I'm working on tonight is not having any resentment towards her since I received no call from Eric today and no answer when I called tonight. Nothing ever changes.
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