The Boy Talk

I've already had the grade school sex talk with Eric years ago and will continue to talk to him about it when he asks questions. No this is about fighting and boy society. Eric got jumped today at a party with another boy tackling him and repeatedly punching him in the neck. I was happy hear that there were grown ups there to put an end to it. Eric did say he went to the ER, but the wait was to long so he went home where he took some Motrin and was feeling better. I informed him that it would hurt again in the morning. Eric was angry and confused. He didn't know the boy and all the other kid wanted was a balloon. Eric had one and that was it. We talked about how he was feeling which he said he was angry. I was hoping to get why he was angry, but we kept getting side tracked. I let him know it was okay to feel that way since the other boy had hurt him and destroyed the rest of the party for him. Eric also wanted revenge and that was why I wanted to know the reasons for his anger. I know anger is usually a response to feeling helpless which can drive most people to do stupid stuff. Eric said he didn't fight back during the incident. I knew it was more from him not knowing. I had hoped this stuff wouldn't happen till fourth grade, but I guess Eric being the tallest kid in class has made him a target. He hinted about it and I told him I would teach him how to protect himself when I saw him next. This seemed to make him very happy. I remember being in his position growing up. Boys fight its an unwritten law. A pecking order will be started by those that know no better. I have to admit that this all came at a good time since I was starting to feel like I no longer had a son.

Shit & Pizza

It's been a long time since I've stepped in dog shit. Actually it's been so long I can't remember when the last time was. I know Eric has stepped in it a few times when we were all together since I was the one cleaning it. Anyway this topic comes up since I stepped in it tonight. When you do step in it its like a stink bomb went off. All the moist smelly stuff inside was just all squeezed out on the bottom of your shoe. Let me tell you it's even better when you have sneakers with all the little indentations. What truly sucked is I didn't really have anything to clean it with in my car. So I dragged my foot around as best I could to dislodge most of the crap (pun intended). Then when I got back to pizza I just hosed it down with cleaner and pried the shit out. Oh what fun work.

I was bummed that the sale sweatshirts were gone. I was handed the clothes sheet. I had my options of the sweatshirt, windbreaker, or parka. Parka? WTH? I'm not delivering pizza by dog sled in Nome Alaska. My manager is telling me how nice and warm it is. A) it's $55 B) it has the logo on it C) I'm not working here for the rest of my life. So I went with the sweatshirt and I'll put a thermal shirt on when it gets cold.

Dude, I'm So Wasted

Trying to pry my ass out of bed was not as bad as yesterday, but took awhile. I really could feel how drained I was at the gym this morning. My normal weights were really heavy and I had to struggle through my normal sets. I really need to rest over the weekend to replenish my energy.

On the dating front it has been a quiet week since I've been consumed with my Mom and knew dealing with any women would be bad. I can use a woman to forget all my problems too fast so I always walk very carefully during those times. I haven't seen Spa girl all week so next week I'll head over to her place and see if she is around. In the meantime Cat girl emailed me back. I wrote her a while ago and had wrote her off, but she seems to have sporadic Internet usage. As an aerobics teacher she's health oriented which is good, but not quite sure she is too much. In that I mean just slow with the relationship and not just dump it all. So we'll see.

Being Me

Thanks Loving Annie and Bottle Blond for the just being human comments. I knew that to be true when I was sharing with my friend Paul this morning. I didn't feel like dealing, but I had patients to deal with. Years ago when I was married I would just push through since my ex would have problems if I wasn't up to snuff. Only could be one sick person in the house. Anyway in not being human I would really over draw myself in the emotional problem only to make things worse. So this morning was the situation again and for me to make a choice. I let myself be human and it all worked out. I can't say I was 100%, but by the time I was doing pizza I was happy. I did good by my patients and had even set up a really good marketing plan with members of my networking group. I'm still emotionally drained and tired. I truly can't believe I use to live this way 24/7 when I was married. Now I know why I have so much energy and am happier now. The biggest thing is I don't have any pain. It hurt so much to turn my neck Monday through Wednesday. To be pain free is so great.

Not too much exciting in pizza tonight. A lot of stiffs, found out my manager was in College Girls Gone Wild 2002, the prepares were discussing the pros and cons of ass sex, and I ordered $5 on sale sweatshirt from the company. Papa Johns employees can only wear there stuff. $5 sweatshirt beats the hell out of how much a freakin' jacket will cost. Since I'm not standing outside in the cold all night like valet I'll survive the quick run to people's doors.

Thursday Thirteen

The Last Thirteen Things I’ve Seen on DVD

1. Big Trouble in Little China – Just a great hookie movie.
2. 300 – This is such a guy movie and Miller’s visualization brought to film are simply amazing
3. Casino Royale – Actually the only Bond book I read. While Connery is still #1 in my book I liked Craig’s raw and gritty portrayal of 007.
4. Babylon 5 season 1 – Oh I wished I had more money. Best Buy had them all dirt cheap a few months ago. I saw the whole series when it was first on and I loved it. Now going back I really see how it was all scheduled out from the beginning.
5. Two & Half Men season 1 – one of 3 shows I watch a week on TV. I never got to see these and I think I pulled something laughing so hard.
6. Running Scared – this was the other half of my weekly watches way back when. It’s still as funny.
7. My Super Ex Girlfriend – a great movie for us nerds. All I can say is the bed scene.
8. Animal House – I hardly ever see this movie, but it is just such a timely classic.
9. Seinfeld season 7 – The coming wedding of George and Susan nuff said.
10. Iron Man – I was impressed they did a great job of updating the mythos.
11. Goldfinger – One of my favorite Bond movies. With the Aston Martin, the hat and great characters like Oddjob and Pussy Galore.
12. Avengers Unlimited 2 – this was okay. Didn’t do as good of a job with it as they did with others.

13. Azumi – very enjoyable Japanese sword flick

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Thursday

Called my friend Paul on the way into work this morning. I told him I just didn't want to deal with anything or anybody today. Always hard in my profession. He said go back to bed. I said I had already hit the snooze 3 times, reset the alarm, and one more snooze before I got up this morning. I'm happy that all the physical pain from the stress is gone, but I just want to pull back into myself. I hate when I am like this especially when I have a busy day. The office is slow and I need these patients to meet their appointments and I'm in the whatever mood. Although the other half of me is still worried about money since money is dribbling in. To slow for this month and way too slow for making up money for last month.

Drugs are Bad

Never done recreational drugs myself and not a big user of pharmaceutical drugs. Here is a great documentary on the effects of drugs given to spiders. Enjoy.

The Stuff of Dreams

I awoke early this morning from one of my funky dreams. The ones I know are trying to tell me something. I just couldn't fully put my finger on it. The dream was my Mom and myself watching a movie in a theater. She turns to me and tells me that my breathe stinks. I turn to her and tell I'm not even speaking. She goes that it's even worse.

So I awake knowing I'm talking shit about my Mom, but what about. Well when I walked out of her meeting this morning with her caregivers I knew what it was. I've been experiencing a lot of muscle pain the last few days and even my friend yesterday said what's up with your Mom? I started getting my heads up during the meeting when I'm talking about the future and all the bad stuff that will come to pass and I'm smiling. That fuckin' smile that says everything is alright because I'm smiling. Such and old coping mechanism. My Mom is healthy as a horse, but the mini strokes are slowly taking her away. Memory, movement, speech all are slowly being robbed with each one. So we talked about a splint for her right hand since it no longer works so it wouldn't contract in time. I visit my Mom's unit often so I see the long term residents. The living dead posed in their silent screams.

I use to visit my Grandmother often until she had a stroke which left her completely insane. I didn't think I would be able to see her in her new personality, but she died later that week so it was a bridge I never crossed. I'm not looking forward to this because I know it's going to be a long trip. So I'm tense, sad, and stressed out today.

Oye!

I love the salsa, but this late night club scene is not for me. The later it gets the more people pile in. For some reason the smoke factor goes up to as it gets later. Tonight's place allows smoking which sucks since all you want is a nice lung full of smoke when your dancing up a storm.

We had a humongous crowd tonight to start and we actually had to grab some guys from the bar to balance out the man-woman thing. Although the women started dropping out as we went on. I'm truly amazed at how many guys come with their girls and just sit there while they watch the ladies dance.

Our little dance group was invaded by a bunch of wild women tonight. I'm happy I wasn't pulled into a fight tonight. One of the wild women when I was dancing with her I always ask their name. Usually they just say it however she leans over and whispers it in my ear. It was said in such a way a switch went off in my head. She really danced the floor with me. So much so that her husband or boyfriend came up and had words with her when he separated us. After that I stayed with our group of people, it was just safer.

Most of the group is young so staying out late every night and going some place afterwards is not unheard of. The place tonight closes at 3 am. I tag out before I turn into a pumpkin. Overall it was okay tonight dance wise. Their was just too many people and the group of wild women really altered the flow of everything. On the other hand it was nice to bond a little better with the women in our dance group.

It is October Right?

I thought it was fall? The record here is 91 set back in 1936. Well the peninsula just beat it at 94 and we're still at 90. I had to put my AC on to run to the bank and grab some lunch. Middle of the summer I expect to burst into sweat when I walk outside, but any other time of the year is unacceptable.

Ugh Tuesdays are just rough for me. Late night dancing on Mondays and early business meeting on Tuesday don't mix. Topping it off with more late night dancing tonight is always exhausting. I'm so happy I decided to take Tuesday's off from pizza to relax before I went. Now I just need to keep myself awake until I go to the gym.

My fellow members at my meeting this morning showed me some love by calling me a Nazi. Ah at least I know I am doing my job.