Where's That Wedge?

Doing my Starbucks thing today and enjoying my book when a very attractive lady and her friend came in. We both noticed each other as soon as she walked in the place. They grabbed their drinks and parked themselves on the other side of the place. I was able to look over at her and smile and she with me. Learning from the other day I knew if an opportunity to talk to her came up it would be her doing. So I continued to read, wait, and smile. The only time the were separated is when she went to the bathroom. She was back there a while. It didn't dawn on me for a while was she back there waiting for me? I'm use to the friend disappearing. Was this a different route? Before I could decide she was back and they packed up their stuff. She left last and gave me a big smile before she walked out. Where's that damn wedge when you need it?!

That Sucks!

I was just getting ready to go to job number two tonight when I get the call from my radio station. I won second row seats to the concert tonight. The problem I needed more notice than I got. So I had to turn the tickets down for someone else to use them. Wish I could have traded them in for the Police concert in Boston.

A Classic

I was amusing myself looking through profiles when I found this one. It was a classic so I had to share it.

CLASSIC WELL PRESERVED LATE MODEL 1950's
Body Style: Compact with CURVES
White paint, Dark brown Soft-top
LARGE DARK brown Headlights
Quality GRILL with a KISSABLE bumper
Plush, Warm, Inviting Interior Classic, but fashionable, neat, pulled together Exterior, with some extra padding
Radio programmed for Rock, Country, R&B, and Classical
Loves to ride with GENTLEMAN
Moderate Maintenance, Low Mileage
No Current Break Downs
Runs on Guinness, Red Wine, and Scotch
Doesn't smoke
Great for road trips or parked at home
Tows around and is responsible for two teenage imports
Gets along well with Former Owner
Clear Title
All unattached drivers circa 1952 to 1960 will be considered Prefers drivers that wear uniforms. But, not a requirement.

That's the way to get a guys attention.

Phillip Morris Would be Proud

I remember back in the 90's the smoking companies focused on women to get into the smoking habit since all the male smoker had died off from lung cancer. In my dog paddling through the dating pool I can't believe how many women smoke. I hardly ever see men step out to smoke anymore. The smokers clutch has become very feminine.

This 10 year old girl was stripped of her goddess title. I wonder if their's unemployment for that? I would think that it's pretty good.

At the end of the day after working a late night shift I know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. I just remembered what my manager said to me last night. I had to turn in $69 for the end of the night. She told me that was a lucky number for me. Not looking to sleep with her, but jeez sometimes I can be clueless.

Lunch Time

I had a business lunch with Paper Boy (it's sounds better than paper "guy") today. We met up at Diner Girl's place. One thing I miss about the north is that women rarely smiled unless they were interested. When I first got down here 3 years ago a guy I knew said, "Mike, girls just smile at you down here. It doesn't mean their interested in you." I was still married at the time when he told me and I didn't really care. Now 3 years later I understand what he meant. Anyway I got to shoot the breeze with Diner Girl and her vacation with her folks. Paper Boy arrived and we got down to our business meeting. How as one of the newbies got to be teaching everyone how to do these things I'll never know. Although since I brought Paper Boy into the group I don't mind teaching him. Diner Girl stopped by a few times to chat with us since we are all in the same group. Although I have to admit she did focus most of her attention on me. It was subtle, but I guess that goes with being a young thang.

Well let me get all this paperwork finished. I would like to go down to the oceanfront tonight to see Blue Oyster Cult. Their free and it would be nice to relax down there in the evening.

And it Ends

Well my landlord returns tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I've gotten use to being alone again. Pile dishes in the sink, eat in my room, walk around naked. All the great things of being by yourself. The funny thing is that I didn't take out the air guitar once this time. I guess since I play the radio so much while I'm delivering I want peace and quiet when I get home.

I did get to knock off most of the British version of MI5 series. It's a good show, but I have to admit it's the first show that I have ever seen that has gotten rid of the man characters all in one season. Weird.

The Fourth

Never big Fourth of July fan mostly because I am not a fan of the noise. Never liked loud noises. Anyway it was nice to sleep in today and then run some errands. Although I have to admit it was a bit strange. We had garbage pick up today. It's a federal holiday so what's the deal? I'll do something with the garbage. So I figured I'd hit a few thrift stores and lo and behold they were closed. The worlds gone a little screwy when they pick up trash on a holiday, but won't sell it.

I haven't made any pizza stories for a while so here are tonight's. The staff was complaining that we were open on Independence day, but the Mexican place next door to us was closed. Hey go figure. I did have to deliver a pizza to the ER. That was interesting. While I was standing there waiting for the secretary to come down and get her pizza some guy came in holding a little girl and asked if I was in line. I really wanted to make a wise crack about how I had a sick pizza here that needed to be eaten soon or their was going to be trouble. However since he had a kid in his arms I passed on it. The high point of the evening was a couple of young thangs giving me a $10 tip for the delivery.

Sam's Club

When I did a health fair a couple of weeks ago I talked with the pharmacist from Sam's club. What I found out is that if you don't have a membership you can still use their pharmacy. Strange, but who am I to argue. I knew the could do nothing if you had insurance, but for people like me without insurance they could. I saved $20 on my meds. I was really shocked at the difference. Figured I pass on the info.

What We Need Here is an Emergency Wedge

We need some scientists somewhere to sit down and figure out how to rid this world of a problem that has bothered mankind for years. I'm not talking about crab grass or the the true number of the JG algorithm. What I'm talking about is the pair of women talking somewhere. So I'm sitting in Starbuck this morning and there two women come in. The first one immediately looks over at me and I look at her. They go place their drinks and sit right in from of me. Over the next 30-45 minutes the one lady and I are looking and smiling each at each other while her friend continues to chat away. What I think is needed is the Emergency Wedge. Like an inflatable raft you just pull a cord and large inflatable wedge deploys. Then you just shove it between the two women and wha-laa two single women. Anyway her friend never went to the bathroom and they left together. Although I have to admit she then returned to the card store next door. I was going to follow, but I did that once and got the deer in the headlights look. Not a good thing to get when approaching a women. So I waited outside at a table, but she ignored me on the way out which through me and I kept my mouth shut. Oh well.

Beaver Balls & Double X

I don't even know what made me think of "beaver balls" last night. However it made me think that you women really got short changed in the naming market. All these sexual slang terms like smuggling raisins, toast, beaver balls, etc are such a "y" chromosome thing. I guess that's why women can count on both hands (and still have some fingers left over) for sexual body parts and men are probably around the 8000 point and climbing as each boy attains manhood.

I think that's why most men's invention are phallic in shape or sexual in nature. Since when they fall into these categories we can bring the full power of our mental prowess to bear. I mean look at men's inventions through out history.

Fire - Women think hey we can cook our food now. Rubbish! Man says now I can look at women naked in the dark.
Printing press - you may think now we can spread more information to everyone. Man says now I can look at pictures of naked women when ever I like.
The Internet - shop online, talk to friends, etc. Blaah. Now I have an incredible database of what? Pictures of naked women!

Now I don't want you women to think that you were short changed just because you have a double "x" chromosome. You got some great gifts that are just so inherently female.

1 - The female body - let's face it. The female form is a work of art. It just don't get any better. It's probably why I don't like tattoos or weird piercing on women. It;s like graffiti on a Rembrandt.
2 - Scent - There is no better smell than a clean women. Just out of the shower, now that's something to bottle.
3 - Hair - The feel of running your fingers through long hair and and then finding that nugget of dampness still their from washing.
4 - Skin - Let's face it women's skin has a softness that can't be recreated. To touch, caress or hug it is a great sensation.
5 - Your waist - a curved waist on a woman. I think it was developed just to put your arm around and to fit like a glove.