Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

Step by Step

Well the phone call to my ex did work wonders.  She had thought Eric had been calling me.  The Comic called this BS since she had raised 3 kids and always knew when they called their dad.  I wouldn't put it pass my ex.  Anyway as usual she wanted to take care of it as quickly as possible which wasn't going to work for me.  Eric would be getting home after 4 and I was booked up till 6:30.  I didn't want to deal with this and go into treating patients.  I remember when I use to do this with me ex and it was never good for business.  So I took care of it when my day was finished.  

Eric thought he had called me was the way it started.  We talked for a while.  His gripe was that when I had the answering service he felt unimportant since he had to go through someone to get to me.  I understood his feeling even though the service had been gone for 4-5 months.  He hadn't been reading my letters since they are usually the same.  I told him since it was a letter it was a bit of a monologue especially since we hadn't been talking.  

My points to him were that he was important to me and that I pretty much know nothing about his life if he doesn't share with me.  That point seemed to stop him for a while.  So we decided on a weekly Thursday call which he said he wanted to be the one calling.

The other point of the conversation was that he wanted a break for his birthday from seeing me.  Wasn't happy about this since he had canceled the last visit.  I told him we would see about March.  I'll give him some latitude during the year, but during the summer it's going to be my decision if this continues.  

I think he is pushing after his grandfather's death to see if I'll stay there or just move on.  I did ask my ex how he was doing since he's been more distant with me since the death.  She said she couldn't tell what was that and what was from junior high which was hard on all the kids she was talking to.  

I know that it will be a day at a time with him.  Hopefully this will be a step in the right direction.  I did think I had more years before he started pulling away.  The realization that I've been apart for more years than we were together is starting to hit me hard.  As is the fact that he's growing up faster than I'm adapting. 

5 people had cathartic therapy:

I agree with the comic. Seems hard to believe your ex doesn't know the score.


I hope you guys are able to work things out.


Yeah, it is BS on the ex's part, but you are doing the best you can in all this.


I think it's important to remember you will always be his dad. Even when he is pulling away from you. He will need you to be there when he is ready to return. Kids will test that way - they need to retreat and have it be safe to do so - then come back without being rejected for retreating in the first place. This starts around age two and can continue for a lifetime. :)


Marty & Mary - It's the same old stuff. You would think after all these years I wouldn't, but I still believe her even though I don't trust her.

Blue - good reminder. I forget that with kids. Well at least my own.

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