Since I had time today I sat down and charted out all the women I've dated since I separated from my ex. It was interesting to see. The biggest was Spa girl. I knew she was trouble, but DAMN was she hot and definite arm candy. Besides that my list is all negative traits. The other was the other end of the spectrum Law girl. While the most normal woman I've ever dated and all positive stuff, it was a small list. Chemistry was both low for us, but it was just such a new experience for both that we went out for a while.
The pattern I'm happy to see is less manipulative women than I use to be with. Aroma girl while a big positive in my life had a lot of unvoiced plans that she was trying to implement with me. L also fitted here with me being delegated to her boy toy.
I seem to jump back and forth from a non abused woman to an abused woman and back again. L, Spa girl, and the Photographer were all abused (physically/sexually). While the Photographer was the only one to recover healthy from it she still brought a lot of un-needed chaos into her life. I do relate to them the best, however whether that is a basis for attraction is beyond me. On attraction I have dated all different shapes and sizes, but I seem to be more attracted to an athletic build.
On of the biggest things I didn't want after my ex was a timid woman which I'm happy to say I've stayed on track with. Most of the women have had high initiative or were very socially active. L was the only one to buck this, but she made it up with a whole world of sex.
An interesting side note is that from Aroma girl who I dated 3 years ago to the Planner and the Photographer this year I didn't feel truly safe with the women I was with. I fell back to an old habit that I didn't even realize. I have to make sure I don't do that again. So I guess a list of things I'm looking for would be:
- attractive
- feel safe with
- assertive
- has goals
- PDA's are big
- sexual
- good communication skills
- fairness with paying
Posts
5 people had cathartic therapy:
What is big? LOL... What is PDA??
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have you ever sat down and wrote a concise list? Every time I've done it, I've attracted a near match to my life.
a list... interesting... but where is the unique character trait? shouldn't everyone have at least one?
I think it is very interesting to look back and see who you have been dating or whom you have been attracted to. It helps you learn about yourself... always, always very helpful. Lists... I find them interesting for the same reason (they help you think about who you are and what you are looking for in a way) however, they should not limit you when you meet someone... well, that's only my experience. :)
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