The Full, the Happy, and the Weird

I had something to blog about, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. It's been an even Steven day here at the office. For every patient that has cancelled or rescheduled another has taken their place which is great. Also MT1 has had a few clients today so the office has been hopping. To be honest my first reaction is that I don't have enough time to get done what I want. Not a good reaction since I'm working hard to make the business busier. I'm really starting to lean towards getting a front desk counter for the office so I can have more space here. While it won't drastically increase the free space it will put more it out of the patients eye. The office is starting to be at the bursting point which is too weird for me. The change is too fast from famine to feast. I'm not feasting, but the cupboard is stocked.

I was very happy to hear that Kitcat most likely wouldn't have her son tomorrow night and that there was a very good chance to see each other. I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel.

The weird part of today was that the Photographer stopped by for treatment. I times I find it weird touching a woman I dated, but am not dating anymore. If we ever had sex I don't think this would be happening. However having slept together did increase the physical intimacy I had with her. She had some questions about Kitcat and was happy that I was happy.

Tonight is $1 movie Tuesday with the singles, however everyone has cancelled. The movie is Greenberg which I never ever heard of, but reviews were through the roof. While I would like to go home and relax I think I'll go and enjoy.

Anxious Moments

I'm getting tired of my anxiety filled days. Having been off medication since September it's become a daily thing. While I was medicated this wasn't a problem and I didn't even know it. Now that I'm on my own its a workout. I'm not anxiety ridden all day, but I have to work at it to keep my serenity. I have to admit I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop even when things are going good. I'm the best person at taking away my own happiness. However since I know I can talk myself in off the ledge I can rid myself of this problem. The problem is just getting to point that I'm sick and tired of it and want to do something about it. Just being a problem isn't enough. Weird I know. However today the gauntlet has been thrown. What changed? Well before leaving the office last night, I had a bunch of things happen like dominoes, but they were all good things. However by the end I was anxious as hell most likely because I feel the loss of control like on a roller coaster. I was angry cause good stuff was happening and I was being negative about it. I know this will prevent it from happening again if I keep putting a negative connotation to these events and I work to hard to keep stopping myself.

The Photographer invited me to the Funny Bone last night. I hadn't planned on going since Kitcat couldn't make it, but since she had done all the work why not. It was a very interesting show. The MC had cerebral palsy and not lightly. However he was hilarious and had a quick wit. The second guy was okay and the headliner was good. They taped the show for the headliner and MC for their show coming on TV.

I finally broke down and made a Facebook page for my business. If you want daily health care tips on sleeping, stress, etc. Take a look.

Well this week is turning out to almost be descent. Now I'm getting ready for my weekly beach walk with L then Kitcat invited me over for sloppy joes with her son. I feel bad for her. That time in your life when you separate and divorce can be like you keep getting hit and never see a break. I remember it well and not to fondly.

The Next Hurdle

It was nice to finally do a beach walk and not have to wear a jacket. It was still a bit brisk, but very nice. It was good to get out and enjoy nature and the good weather.

Tomorrow starts a lot of phone calls for me for work. I have a new marketing project and I'll need the help of other businesses. It won't cost them anything and should make selling their product easier. Talking to everyone about it has no downside for me except for people saying no. Do I want to do it? No. I always feel uncomfortable doing this. However when I do it I fell better about myself and it can only help me. Still not looking forward to it, but I'll be lighting a fire under my ass tomorrow to start the calls.

I started talking to a woman today that wants to keep talking to me. She's moving back to Virginia Beach from the next city over. She's in the process of doing the move so we didn't get more than some introductions and moving stories. We'll see where it goes. The funny thing is that she reminds me of the Photographer in looks. If it gets off the ground I'll give her a nickname.

The truly funny thing was that a new person joined the singles group today and I thought it was the Planner. It wasn't, but boy is she attractive. Hopefully she'll make it to an event soon.

It's Official

Asp and I became BF and GF last night. It was funny Saturn girl asked her at the hockey game if we were. Asp said she thought we were so Saturn girl said to make sure. We've been joking around with the BF and GF titles ever since.



The Meet & Greet went well last night. About half the people showed that RSVP'd which kind of sucked, but a bunch of new people did come out which is good. Lubo's is a great place to be social at so it worked out. Afterwards we met up with Savant and Saturn girl at the hockey game. I learned many things there.

• The stereotype of fighting is real. While there weren't many fights that's what everyone demanded even the 5 year old in front of us. The guys next to us didn't care for the game just were waiting for someone to kick the shit out of someone.


• Sportsmanship was very high with the cheer of you suck when the home team scored.


• I have no clue why they change players every freaking 30 seconds.


• There seems to be no rules. I actually want to Google hockey rules today since penalties seem very arbitrary to me.
  

It was nice to have Asp's place all to ourselves. Her son was staying at a friends so nakedness was the uniform of the night and it was great. Sleep was at an all time low with a every 2 hour schedule. So I need a nap when I get out of the office today and before I go hiking.

We started sharing our secrets last night which was a fun new step. Up to this point I hadn't stated that I had dated the Photographer, but that came up last night. I was wondering if it would or not, but she asked if I had dated anyone in the group that was still in it.

I'm staying on course with not spending every night at her place even though she would like me to. I would too, but I know I need to keep my life still going. Also I'll be sleeping over Sunday night and staying with her most of the day Monday to celebrate our first month of being together.

The View

I was telling OVDC and German girl that I'm trying to slow things down with Asp. Not for any red flags, but just processing time. At this point I think Asp would have me at her place every night which for 3 weeks is a bit much. I think I'll max out at 3 nights at her place. I do like Asp, but I don't want to speed through this on sex and good feelings. OVDC was saying that Asp really did like me to have me over so much which I knew. However it's always good to hear it from someone else.

I met my landlord's ex last night and she was a nice person. I do something I do a lot with people that have money or positions of power. I put them on a high pedestal which makes me feel less than. It really causes me a lot of anxiety. Their was no need for it and for many parts of the evening my medical expertise was needed. I was happy that my attorney recommendation worked out for the landlord for his will, trusts, etc. It did focus him which gave him his sanity back. The guy is a very logical person and when it's outside the box like a lot of his health is now he can become insane. I was very happy for the night because it was pretty normal which helped me. We sorted out more of my care taker job. It could be for the long haul since the house is worth a lot. I learned the people across the street started selling their house at 1.2 million and are down to 750K and still can't sell it. So I could be here for a while. The good thing is that I have friends in the industry to get a heads up when things are starting to turn.

The Photographer called today to reschedule her appointment. Why? Because she was losing a pound a day. She's being tested up the wazoo to find out the problem. I felt like saying what is everyone dying around me.

I did my stats for the office and I'm up 13% for the year from last year. I'm happy it's up, but I had hoped it would be more. I still need to make 10k more a year to be making a normal salary again instead of the McDonald wages I earn now.

The Agenda

Kind of focusing on my landlord at the moment. Doing some research revealed why they were checking his throat first since that would give his life expectancy. It will all depend on how bad that is. I'll tell him tonight I'll do the care taking of the house for him. We'll see how it all goes from there. I'm not looking forward to moving anytime soon.

Asp has started her drive back from Florida and she'll stay in Savannah tonight before coming home tomorrow. I'm happy they're stopping since it's a long haul to do all at once. I would like to see her again all in one piece. We're hoping to see each other tomorrow night. The biggest talk between her, Saturn girl, and myself is about the Photographer. It's her birthday today and I went to her FB page to leave a message and I saw that she was now in a relationship. Being nosy I checked. I'm looking at the guy's picture and he looks young, real young. So I check and he's the same age as her son. He wasn't happy when she was dating Game boy who was in his early 30's. So someone 23 years younger than herself is going to cause some problems.

I see old man winter has arrived here. It's in the forties here today and yesterday we had hail. WTF? I was driving and I heard this sound and wondered what it was. Then I saw it bouncing off the windshield. It would be cold for tonight's Christmas parade here in town. Hopefully they are timely since the parade is pretty short. Afterwards the singles and I will wander the fountain area then grab some dinner. However before all that starts L and I are going for our weekly hike. Hopefully it's not too bad down at the beach.

Party Hardy

I can't believe what happened at the Halloween party tonight. I worked the room. This may sound bizarre, but I was a shy kid. I guess working enough of my own events and business socials I've learned the skill. I did meet some great people and sorry no scandalous costume for me. I broke out the wizard costume. It was funny I got to the party and followed this very attractive woman in who was dressed in a 60's short outfit and go go boots. She was hot, but married. Oh well. My friend was freaking cause only one other person was there and had been there for a while by himself. However everyone started piling in shortly. I can see my standards have increased since I was talking to the devil, while she was pleasant, hearing that you don't want to go to events because you don't know anyone doesn't do much for me. Hey I know a lot of people are shy and I've admitted I was one of them. I don't want to be the force getting someone out. Been there, done that, and never again.

It was a day of missed women. The Photographer was suppose to come to the party and German girl wanted me to chat with her to see if she was still interested in me. She peaked my interest enough for me to agree to this. On the other end Tango girl was a no show at the art show. It was a chilly day walking it, but still fun. I actually bought something. It wasn't that expensive, but with things tight it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. However I REALLY like it and I've been waiting to look at it and not be as interested in it. However that hasn't happened yet and I'm still very happy with the purchase. It was done in an Indian style of Batiks which involves wax.

Revelations

Sitting and listening to everyone at the table last night at Panera's, especially the Photographer saying she was ready to go back home until she joined the group, I realized something. I now know more people than I think I ever knew combined, however I still don't have any very close friends. I only notice this when people from the group come in and have no one and they find friends. I get a nice feeling from it, however I haven't had that feeling for myself. Friends as an adult is a different animal from when I was a kid. I have people to call to do stuff with, but no one to share my day to day stuff except for my friend Paul back in NY.

I'm tired today. There was a freaking mosquito in the room last night. It flew past my ear every few hours waking me up. I'm not quite sure which is worse. The usual keep flying past my ear that I have to get up and kill it or the frequent wake ups. All I know I'm tired and the mosquito is now dead.

Not much on my plate today although I have an appointment to talk to one of the private school baseball teams about getting treatment. I've increased my skill with it so hopefully it goes better than last time.

No happy ending, but at least a hangover

Well it ends up that I'll have to do my own walking with my hands. Legitimate business came up so I'll get my massage Friday morning which is going to be even more of a killer. Starting the day all relaxed is not going to be a good thing. I'm bummed since I was really looking forward to being relaxed.

My car is becoming a real pain in the ass with starting up. It's a slow day tomorrow so I'll have to take it in tomorrow to get worked on. I'll take one more look at the engine tonight to see if I can spot the freaking camshaft sensor. I wish I was still in contact with the Planner. This is what happened with her Sebring when we were together.

Speaking of old girl friends. The Photographer stopped in for treatment yesterday. One of the problems I have with her is that since she broke up with me I wasn't to the place where I had enough of the relationship. I knew there was one and that it had it's limits. I just never got there. So anyway as many of my patients forget that their is a certain dress code when you come see me. Some of my female patients care and some don't. I just go with the flow. So when the Photographer showed up after work, she had a dress on. So I figured no electric stimulation on her back. She then realized that she had a dress on. She was like I have underwear on so just put it on. I realized it's probably not a good thing to be reaching up a dress of a woman you still like.

This evening has really changed from a very busy time to the dead zone. I'm waiting for my last patient and then off to see the Hangover at the $1 movie house. I've been waiting for this movie for a while now and can't wait to see it.

I don't know if I'm getting old or just dating too many women in the last few years. Most of them haven't even graced these pages. However I can't even remember who all these nicknames of women are. I feel just like I do when I look at some of my entertainment sites. It's so and so from this show and I'm like "who the hell" and "what freakin' show?"

N'Synch

Well before I get to the title I have to vent. I swear I'm going to go buy and bat and start smashing heads every time I get a complaint about having to pay $5 for an annual membership. Tonight pain in my ass is complaining that the other groups are free and he doesn't see anything interesting that we do. That's okay. Go someplace else then. Don't stay here and complain. Unfreakinbelievable!!!

Anyway it was game night with the singles. It was a small group tonight and the Photographer was there. She sat next to me, but as people came and left we ended up on opposite sides of the table. So I thought it was a good time to practice some synchronization techniques. Mirroring is another term for it. I would do it for a while than break and then go back. I guessed what would happen and it did. We were playing Scruples and when I synced with her she asked me questions, when I didn't she asked others around the table. It's a technique to form a comfortable connection with someone. I still need more practice with it since I still think too much with it.

Ja Booty!!!

Our monthly meet & greet went very well last night. Most everyone showed up that said they would which was great. I saw Smile girl there. I didn't say anything, even though we left off okay many months ago. Our waitress was jaw dropping attractive and I remembered my brother's comment about all the hot looking waitresses down here.

The place was awesome. It was right on the water so the breeze kept us cool from the summer heat. The place has 4-5 bars and 2 stages so it was a happening place. We told Asp and Saturn girl that they were good girls. Saturn girl was okay with it after being raised Irish Catholic, but Asp didn't take it so well for some reason. So that brought about sexual truth questions between all of us with Server guy and Savant. We did it for many hours and it was pretty damn funny with all the jokes.

I have to admit I'm enjoying how the Photographer looks at my muscles now. A couple of months ago she went to poke me and she found out that I'm more solid than when we went out. So every time we're out either she's looking at my arms or poking me.

Today I'm heading over to my storage unit to find my Spanish CD's to refresh myself. I'm trying to break everything down into bite sized pieces. If I can do 15 minutes a day I'll be very happy.

Sick Sad World

I almost feel like I'm juggling women today. It's Phili's birthday today so I texted her a greeting this morning. I got a thanks back, but who knows if she even knows who sent it. However I knew it was today and I still had her number in my phone so I figured I'd be nice since I know she usually is alone.

No claws came out at the meeting of L and the Photographer. The Photographer joked that we were strolling later on FB. L welcomed her on FB an mentioned the rain and to have a great weekend. Who the hell knows what it all means.

My ex called and left a message about did I want to try and do the flying this month or in August. I texted back that I would see what I could find out. With it being only a few weeks away it maybe hard to pull off. I'd rather text than talk. I know myself it's WAY too easy to fall into old habits that I don't want to do.

I'll be out of the house most of the weekend with 4 different singles events that I'm running. Yes I know I'm probably stretching myself thin on this one, but hey it'll be fun. Anyway Single's son and younger brother will be staying with us at the house while she works for extra money.

Hungry Heart

As most of you know or don't know I don't handle strong emotions very well. After the incident with my ex today going from toe curling fear to tear felt happiness was a roller coaster for me. Emotions at the extreme ends take a while to filter through me, like sand going through a small funnel. During this lag time I usually want to do something to calm me down faster than is happening normally. Today I hit Starbucks. With money tight I haven't been going that often, but felt like I owed it to myself today. It turned out to be my lucky day when they gave me a grande when I ordered a tall. While a good book and a hot drink was nice it didn't do the trick. So a few hours later when I was hugging L goodbye and she's giving me one of her full body hugs my mind clicked into, "hey sex would be nice." However I kept my sanity and hightailed it out of there like normal. I know L wouldn't turn down the offer for sex, but I enjoy our walks and it's not where I want the relationship to head. I will tell you a 4-5 mile walk in soft sand with a 15 mph headwind is freaking tiring. I'm ready to drop tonight.

An interesting side note was that I ran into the Photographer and her new BF on the beach hike. It was weird since I'm so use to people knowing L that someone kind of signalling me was weird.

Like most everyone that has heard my story about my ex today, I still have no explanation. I've done double takes with her new attitude over the last 6 months many times. I have no complaints mind you, but this is just such weird behavior from her. Yes this nice stuff towards me from her is very alien. And yes that's how our marriage was. So while you may be taking double takes I think I'm developing a tic with this about face of 16+ years of conditioning.

Soggy Sunday

Well it was a wash with the singles and the art festival. It's been a wall of water out there all day. So I changed the event to indoors and we played pool. Well only Server guy showed which worked out really well. He's normal and one of the few other guys in the group who is outgoing like myself. So it was nice to talk to someone about the different women in the group who actually knows them. We both said WTF to the Photographer kissing us both at the last Happy hour. He likes her and may ask her out. So we talked about that for awhile. I gave my two cents without revealing anything she told me in confidence. We talked about dating in general and it was nice to talk face to face with another guy about this stuff. I talk to friends on the phone about this, but don't really have anyone local to do this.

Playing Those Mind Games

I swear my ex girlfriends are fucking with my mind. While I've come to a point of serenity with L she still does and say things to make me wonder if she wants to get back together again. Like I've stated before I think she doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me.

At our Happy Hour tonight the Photographer was there. She hung out next to me and wondered what was up with this L. I told her our history and what was going on. The Photographer said that she comments on everything of mine like she's dating me. So I told her my theory and in her usual way she told me to tell L to back off. Throughout the evening I'm trying to pick up hints if her and Game boy are still together. It's just a theory of mine and I was looking for confirmation. I never really got it. All the information would fit on both sides of the chart. The really weird thing is that she leaned over and kissed me on the check out of the blue. Not once, but twice. WTF? Again I'm not looking to date her, but I wasn't the instigator in the breakups so I still have a torch for her too.

Who else is going to start sending me mixed messages next? I know it won't be Inverse who I saw there tonight since she works there. The interesting thing is I know what she wants and I'm truly not interested in her. It's weird. She's very attractive, but it doesn't do anything for me.

Game Night

Woohoo. I finally got to play at the geek's table last night. Saturday game nights are usually very well attended so we have to split into groups. Usually its Game boy and myself heading the groups. However last night Server guy spoke up and took the group to another table. He took my normal traditional route of games. So I got to play some of Game Boy's games which are reminiscent of my gamer days. While the geek table is never the loud laughter table is was a lot of fun. Actually between Saturn girl and a new girl at the other table they were loud as hell and drawing a lot of stares. On a side note I think the Photographer and Game boy have broken up.

Today there having an Earth day celebration at the local park. So between the singles and my patients, we'll be attending the event. I heard it was a lot of fun last year. They keep saying it's going to rain, but still sunny. So we'll see.

Good Day Sunshine

We were promised sunshine today, but it's still hasn't happened. It's a damp, foggy mess. So I guess we can forgo the temps almost reaching 70. I guess we'll have to stay indoors tonight for the singles Happy Hour. They're not my thing, but most people like them and we get a good turnout for them. The Photographer tried one a few weeks ago and it failed so I'm doing my usual magic. I'm told the events that I don't attend are missing my energy.

I think Phili is starting the flirting with me. I got the fashion show of new pants she got for her waitress job and her flat stomach. Most women don't like there panties showing, but she didn't seem to mind. I also got enough compliments on the stuff in my room.

It's another slow day in the office which I don't like. I've spent the morning tracking down my money from insurance companies. The good thing was there was no problems, just them being very slow with the processing. Since all the insurance problems last year they've gotten in the habit of pushing the limits with holding payments.

Driving in the Passenger Seat

The title is actually part of a dream I had when I was 3-4. I still remember the whole dream vividly. Anyway I now have not one, but two assistant organizers for the singles group. The most amazing thing is that they are actually doing work. I've had others take the position in the past and do nothing until I fired them. Not that it's a paying job or anything.

The Photographer has been helping me on our side of the water. I gave her a few things that I don't like doing like bowling (which I do enjoy, but hurts my shoulder). Since then she has branched out which has been very helpful.

NASA asked to help out since he lives on the Peninsula and they feel left out which they are I'm sad to admit. However I haven't gotten any dependable hosts for that region. So he stepped up to the plate. NASA is not mister personality, but he is a nice guy. My hope is that he'll be able to gather all the people up there into a group to have fun.

The weird thing nowadays is that a bunch of events happen and I have no idea what's going on. After doing this for over a year now by myself, I'm use to knowing the pulse of the group. Now I have to look up events to see how they're doing. It's all new for me.

Not much has changed with the group otherwise. A full 1/3 of the group is within their 30 days of joining which means I'm still waiting to see if they pay or not. 10-15% of the paid members haven't been on the site in months. These are the people I wonder when they send the money in for membership. They like being part of it, but you almost never see them if ever.

What Sunday Brings

Game night went very last night in our new location at Panera Bread. The usual problems arose. No one reads the event or the announcements to see that the place had changed. For some reason the address I got off the web was wrong so a few people couldn't find it. Although it was general consensus that if you called information you could have found the place since it was right across the street from our normal Starbucks.

Coffee girl never got back to me with a time so I'm officially on dating hiatus for now. I was good last night at Panera Bread. One of my friends came back to the table that all the girls upfront liked my laugh. They said it sounded like Santa Claus. There are no "ho's" in my laugh so I'm not quite sure what they meant, but that a group of girls wanted to know who I was, was a good thing. However I didn't go up and start any conversations. I'm going to try and not date for the rest of the month. We'll see what happens. Every time I do the women come out of the woodwork.

Since the weather was awesome today, 73 degrees and sunny, I did a impromptu miniature golf event. Only a few others made it, but we had a great time being outdoors. I tell you sitting in the sun afterwards and I was ready for a nap. Still am.

Navy girl wanted me to come play 9 holes with her, but I think I want to start just hitting a bucket of balls before I try playing a game to see if I even like what I'm doing. I felt bad when she got a sad face when I turned her down.

The funny thing was the Photographer was at the Funny Bone when Happy girl and I were there. She was sitting in the back and couldn't see that I was the Mike in question.

The Funk-ometer

While I enjoy all the Singles events some an be weird. Like last night's game night. The Photographer and Tech girl are now good friends. So it's interesting to be sitting across from not 1, but 2 women you've dated. One that dumped you and one that you dumped. Let the festivities begin. While the Photographer and I have settled smoothly into friends mode. Tech girl and I have settled into something else. We definitely aren't into joking mode yet and it was weird for me to have her tapping my foot under the table. Here's a picture from last night. One is the Photographer and the other is the Stylist. You choose.

Over the last 24 hours I have done something novel. I've planned all my special events for a year in the office. My business coach instructed me that if it wasn't written in there it probably wouldn't happen. While the specific events haven't been chosen, the dates to do everything has been.


I was hoping to do a belly dancing event next month for my office, but nothing worked. So I used my singles event organizer hat to come up with next month's event. Since I push having down time for yourself I invited everyone to the wine and jazz event at the local art museum. I've done it with the singles many times and it's always fun.