Sunday morning found us wrestling as usual, but it was also time for Eric to do the homework he brought with him. He described it as it sucks which was funny for the boy who use to love school. Ah the times they are a changing. He got moody doing it and the presence of it being the last day weighed heavy on him. At one point with tears in his eyes he decided that he couldn't do it and made a pretty emotional case about it. I looked down at his paper after he was finished and told him that didn't work and maybe we should try something else to get it done. The humor was lost on him.
However this is a age old problem of him so focused on it being our last day together that he gets so upset that he can't enjoy the day. So I tried to empower him with my standby of, "we can do something else when you finish your homework. So you're in charge of when we do something different." His mom may give into this stuff, but he must forget that I don't. He got it better this time and was able to finish his homework in about 10 minutes. It's always a rough area, but I really want him to focus on solutions then just the problems which his mom is all about.
We stayed at McDonald's play place longer this time. Since all the old stuff wasn't working I suggested pool or bowling. He wanted pool. Also he wanted to practice more sewing and since he's a big fan of TWF (Thumb Wrestling Federation) I suggested a stop at Michael's to pick up supplies so he could make his own wrestlers. This idea worked out really well since the pool hall was closed until 2. So I suggested Starbucks where he could practice his sewing. He did really well and made a few guys that he could customize when he got home. The really weird thing is that I'm sitting there with my 9 year old sewing and across from us is a senior lady texting on her cell phone. It's a brave new world. So after a few thumb wresting matches and poker games we headed over to the pet store. The animals were very cute. Eric of course wanted one, but living creatures are not impulse buys.
The pool hall was pretty empty and I think both of us were feeling the last few hours ticking down. I found that out when I realized I was flirting with the attractive woman working the register. Zero to a hundred in a blink of an eye, jeez. Eric was having a hard time with playing and with the emotions hitting him was not being teachable. So he really wasn't playing. So we called it and got something to eat.
It's funny. Eric loves being with me, but hates the 20-30 minute drive back to his place. Believe me pal I don't enjoy the 7 hour one either. We talked some more on the way back. I brought up sex again since I wanted to know what was bringing it up. His friends weren't saying much, but two of them were starting to bring up topics. We again talked about the whole being naked thing. LOL. He asked if you had to be completely naked. I told him you didn't just the parts being used had to. Although when you want to share your self with someone sexually you did want to open yourself up and not having your clothes on helped. However some people were shy about having no clothes on. He did ask did you have to be in love to have sex. I told him no, but my opinion was that it wasn't as enjoyable. Just sharing yourself with a person you really cared about made it more special. I made sure to tell him that he could always ask me anything and that he wasn't going to get in trouble for asking me anything. I also told him I would get that older children's version of sex so we could go over it when I saw him for his birthday.
Dealing with my ex is always weird. I finally realized why. I forget she's a black and white thinker so when I'm normal with her she becomes really friendly. For me it's like I don't trust you so just let's get this over with. Not that I say that. I picked Eric up and gave him one last swing since he enjoys being picked up. He was very surprised that I could do it, but he's only 70 lbs.
Here's my birthday present from Eric.
1 people had cathartic therapy:
The most treasured bowl in the world.
Transition time is really, really hard for many kids, and you only see Eric a few times a year, really. It'll get easier, especially when he's old enough for things like his own e-mail and text / cell phone. In time. The important thing is that the two of you do have a connection, and he knows that.
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