Something happened today that hasn't happened in a long time. Overdraft fees! I could of swore I put in my activities from the weekend in there, but I didn't. So I got slammed today with them. Boy am I pissed at myself. That was a lot of money that I needed for this weekend for going to pick up Eric. The good thing is that this use to be a normal occurrence with me until I got better with my finances. Since it hasn't happened in a long time is a good thing, but the timing really sucks.
On the dating front, the Planner and I finally got to talk today. She didn't realize I called last night. She was feeling better after sleeping in late this morning which is rare for her. So I asked if she had fully recovered from my sleepover. She then apologized if she had been mean. Continuing with that working from home she has her routines down and not sleeping with anyone in a long time was really weird. That it all had unbalanced her.
I told her it showed on her face. My question was if her actions were her attempt to re balance or she really felt that way. Was she wanting to work me into her life? I actually said little life to minimize it. She was on me fast. I apologized saying that I was trying to lessen what I was saying since it was big.
The Planner said that sleepovers on Sundays were out. Other nights would be better. I offered my place, but she said she couldn't do a full size bed. It was hard enough sleeping with me in a queen size bed. Her hope is that I'll get my own place sometime soon. Something I told her wouldn't be happening for a while. That I really wanted to get rid of my debt first. Investing in a house is one thing. Blowing money on a bigger apartment at this point isn't happening.
The tension between us dissipated which was nice. We'll see each other Friday for a concert in the park and then dinner.
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Too Much Swag and Sadness
3 months ago
6 people had cathartic therapy:
Mike,
It is REALLY hard to sleep with someone all night when you've slept alone for a long time.
I can understand The Planner's feeling physically unbalanced.
It takes a while (maybe a half-dozen times at least) to get used to someone and comfortable with them emotionally, let alone if the bed isn't big enough for two.
As she relaxes more, you and she in the queen-sized bed may feel good to her - it's great for snuggling :)
Calling it a 'little life' was cruel of you. That's not going to make her feel any safer, or that she can trust you to care.
You apologized, but words are powerful.
The gentler you are with her, the more she may let you in. Wounded animals need kindness.
As far as the bank goes, why not ask them for automatic overdraft protection ? That'll ensure that you NEVER get slammed with fees.
I know the problem with sleeping with someone. I went through it with my ex wife. Again I'm happy to work with her, but I want to know she wants to get to that point also.
Oh I knew the "little" add on was bad. My own fear got the best of me.
A little odd to me, but I'm different (and married). Most women I know, LIKE to be able to snuggle with their man in bed. Sure, it's probably a new thing if you haven't for a while, but if you're with someone you like and WANT to be with, you kinda NEED that close feeling and miss it.
Just my 2 cents.
Which really means nothing!
=) Bella
I'm with you Bella. The more I like someone the closer I want to be. We'll see where it goes.
I have two thoughts, one is that the Planner seems to have a lot of rules...but I'm sure you've noticed already.
Secondly, I've also grown accustomed to sleeping alone, but have enjoyed having company lately.
Yeah she likes to define her life. It gives her the sense of control. The Planner enjoys the company before sleeping very much. It's the sleepy time that is the problem which I find weird. Since usually if you like someone you want to get closer.
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