It's amazing after all these years of divorce my ex becomes my wife again when I'm talking about her, I'm angry, and frustrated with her. Case in point is that she finally texted me back that Eric was finishing school on the 28th which really sucks since it's a Monday. I asked if he needed to go that day and if he did what time would he be finished. She answered that since he was going to a new school next year and that it wouldn't be the best for him to miss it. I sort of understood, but it also meant losing out on 2 days of his visit. He has a half day that Monday so I'll pick him up once he gets out. I leave her a message that I'll let her know if I can swing an extra day or two and that he may make camp late. So far so good.
Then I get the call from Eric. He tells me that he can't miss a day of school, he can't be late to camp, and that if his grandfather dies he may not be able to go or may need to come home right away. I really freaking don't know why I fought for joint custody sometimes when my ex pulls this kind of crap. This reminds me of when we were having problems and she had Eric write a letter to me asking me to leave the house. He was four at the time. So this shit of putting him in the middle continues when it doesn't have to and it pisses me off. I'm sad since we don't see each other that often and our visit is being widdled down from the week (legally I have 2 weeks). My ex knows how I won't push certain issues with Eric.
Middle Child asked me about my spirituality and not being religious. Pretty much asking what the hell are you talking about? For me I grew up with an uneven dose of Roman Catholic. Meaning one week it was important and the next it wasn't. There were a lot of inconsistencies growing up. While I did become very religious for a few years in high school I turned it all in and became a atheist for 15 years. With that I was solid in my beliefs of nothing. However at the lowest in my life 10 years ago I found that I needed something in my life beyond me. This is were the spirituality comes in. I do believe in a god right now. My definition is a bit shaky and it doesn't follow any organized religion which really doesn't work for me. I do agree with Marx that it is the opiate of the people. While I do pray many times a day I don't attend any church, nor do I wish to. If I had to define it then it would be more of a lifestyle of how to act in the world than following some deity. Hope that makes things as clear as mud.
Interesting enough is that I'm starting to get a large following in Hong Kong. Besides the US it is #2, even beating out Canada and UK. Although I have to admit that I think its also where I get all my spam comments from. So as always your statistics may not be worth the paper that's it's not even written on.
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5 people had cathartic therapy:
Joint custody and visitation frustrates me. Especially when one parent doesn't keep the best interest of the child in mind.
Wish you luck.
That's really low that she puts him in the middle like that. My parents used to pull that- at least you're not doing the same back. But I hate that it only hurts Eric's interests.
Mike,
It's a terrible thing to use a child as a pawn or a way to be passive-aggressive with another. I'm very sorry to hear that it's going down like this.
On the spirituality front, I have a suggestion for you. There are two books that were published by the Himalayan Academy (part of the Kauai Hindu Monastery). One is called "Dancing with Siva" and the other is called "How to become a Hindu".
Why do I mention these? Well, as it turns out, both books go through and have a set of questionnaires you can answer about your personal beliefs as they relate to most (if not all) of the worlds major belief systems. "Dancing with Siva" has the full content, the other one is a condensed (but complete) version.
So, yes, there's something in there even for the atheist, the agnostic and the somnambulist (just kidding on the latter).
It was a real interesting exercise to see what each of the traditions was based around and then for me to examine what it was that *I* believed.
You might find it interesting. I found it to be both an interesting and entertaining read.
Mike, thank-you for the explanation. I was sincere in my asking. I wish I could have been your ex-wife because then you would have the best possible relationship with your son. I would have been thrilled if my ex was as interested as you seem to be. When you love someone, you put them before yourself (as a mother does a child). And please forgive the short preach here but I just wanted to let you know that God is waiting for you. He will wait for as long as it takes. Grab onto your Bible. All the truth you need is right there.
It's unbelieveable that she made him write that letter at age 4. (Kids are barely writing at age 4!)She sounds evil. You and Eric certainly don't deserve that. So sorry!
Hang in, and keep faith.
xoRobyn
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