The Fear Factor

Yesterday was a workout with my fear. While finances play a role in it mt coming trip to NY this weekend was causing more I'm surprised to say. It was such a nightmare last time with my car breaking down, engine replacement, and general helplessness of the situation traumatized me. So I have this fear of this trip. I know it's all insane since out of all the years that was the first time I've had a problem. Also as my friend pointed out my engine is all fixed. So I'm better than I was.

However my fears were felt by the Planner last night. I told her what was bothering me and we chatted about it. However when we went to bed she was a little upset. She was feeling worried about me and didn't know what to do. Also that when I'm like this I talk faster and she has a hard time understanding me. So we talked about how codependency and what we would like the other to try to do. Again I'm still amazed at how well we communicate and how well we get through our problems. The Planner also stated this morning that last night was the best night with me in the bed for her sleeping. I joked that it should be since she fell asleep holding me.

So tonight I have free tickets to the Funny Bone so she's coming down to go with me. A last celebration until Eric goes back home. On that note still no word from him. I left a message last night to call me before Friday so we can talk about the weekend. For all I know he could be dead in a ditch somewhere.