Sadness and Deep Thoughts

Well the weekend ended and I didn't get to see Kitcat at all. Besides a few text messages and a short phone call while she got ready to meet friends to go sailing we really didn't connect. I was bummed for many reasons. The main was that I had expected to see her and it didn't happened. With that came the feeling that I have no importance in her life. This is a bit of a core issue so it blossoms outwards pretty quickly and took a lot of energy to keep from getting out of hand. While I reaffirmed that I'm the one to make me feel important I do had some wants to be a consideration in Kitcat's life.

Since we've been dating she has entered my life and throughout the day I do think about her. My decisions have her in mind when I make them. I want this on the other side. So it will be a talk tomorrow when I see her. I do have to admit everyone has their style that they respond to. Kitcat seems to respond to me being a man and being direct with what I want. So we now have a date scheduled for tomorrow night after her meeting. This brought up another problem. We were going to talk about possibly eating at the place of her meeting afterwards. She said she would call in a bit after studying. However like yesterday the phone call never materialized and I know now that she's in class.

One of the big reminders I had this morning with texting was that I do want things a certain way. It was one of the pearls from my ex that was mixed in with all the manure. While I'm easy going it does make me a lot happier to have things said and done in a certain manner. However that is me being narrow minded and a bit self centered. So I worked through that this morning and we now have a date. I'll have to remember that in the future.

Today is turning out to be one of the busiest days in the office which I'm trying to be grateful for. However with tomorrow being dead it's hard to do. I guess it's one day at a time.