To Make War

I had made a decision to have them send my Mom back home from the hospital today. Things like this push me far to the right (or left if you like). My expectation is that I'm going to have a fight on my hands. It's a belief that has come from personal experience growing up. However in those days I either was a child and had little power to change things or as an adult waited to long to make a change. Either way, I learned I had to go overboard to get what I wanted done. So things like this blow my serenity right out of the water. I did a bunch of praying and meditating before heading out to the hospital and even called a few people. When I got there I found they had moved her and had to play Sherlock Holmes to find her. However I was pleased to find the doctor in the room when I got there. I asked what the plan was for my Mom and she said she could go home tomorrow since they were no longer doing IV on her. I agreed that anything being done here was redundant to what could be done at her facility. I was happy there was no battle and she was cute so all was right with the world. My Mom had her voice today which I was surprised. She was a broken record repeating the same "Frank and Karen love you" which I tell her if I talk to my brother and SIL.

Afterwards I relaxed at Starbucks to continue to get my head on straight. It's been a week of letting the house go. Like I stated last week I need a "fuck up" area and this has switched to the house. So I'm taking back the place today. I vacuumed and took care of the plants. Did my usual straigthening up. I want that happy feeling I have when all is right here. I just have to make sure I don't backslide at work.

I'm starting to get back into the dating mindset, but paying all this money for my Mom this month is making it a tough month. Every 3 months I have extra bills which put more pressure on me. So I know I'm going to be stressed until the month ends. So I know it's never a good time when my focus is elsewhere.