What Stress Means to Me

On my way out to me L and her friends to watch a local band play last night I thought about my anxieties the last few days. I think the withdrawal from the medication has passed. I still seem to have little bouts of anxiety. They come from time to time. I know my Mom was always anxious about stuff and I finally was able to label myself when I went down to Florida a few years ago, after she got sick, to clean her house out in 24 hours. As always I never set too high of standards for myself. It probably would have been better to just shoot myself in the head. However like always I persevered and got the job done.

Anyway since the teleconference Thursday morning I've been very stressed. So during the drive last night I worked it out. At present my office is moving into areas that I hadn't dreamed of and it's picking up speed. All great stuff, but I am out of my comfort zone. Well the teleconference was how to use the president's wellness mandates to increase business. I was the oddball in the group. I'm getting the new patients which everyone else wasn't. I just didn't have the office visits like everyone else which is my decision. It was the first thing the guy hosting pointed out to me. He kept guaranteeing me that he could help me be a millionaire like many other chiropractors in the city he works with. I know how to do that already I just don't believe in the over treatment. I'm happy with my office and how it's developing into something that is not the norm, just like me.

However for me when I talk to people I see as experts or authority figures their words have a lot of power in my head. Mostly because I see myself as less than so their always bigger. So until my mind can process the whole thing and I grow in my mind to stop them I can feel very stressed which is where I've been for the last 2 days.

The night out was different than it was planned. All of L's friends had started drinking very early so she had left them at one of the other bars since they were becoming obnoxious. HK was packed like it usually was for a Friday night. Since I'm rarely in that kind of situation I was able to see which women I liked and which ones liked me. No reason falling back to old habits of trying to get the attention of women who aren't interested. The other was that looking around the room, it was nice to say I don't want to date. Hey that thought could change tomorrow, but for now it makes me happy.