Going Sane in a Crazy World

My journey through life and the lessons I learn to help me grow spiritually.

Sane Friends

This is a First

Sane Ravings by Mike at 10:03 AM
As most of you know I do appreciation events for my patients, I call them for their birthday, and I send weekly motivations out. I work on going above and beyond the normal chiropractor. I finally ran into someone that didn't like it. Their belief was that I went over the normal doctor patient relationship. They're allowed their feelings, however I'm disturbed by it. I guess I'm not quite sure how to process it. In doing something nice I upset someone and I have to admit I like everyone happy. It's still a childish response on my part and I have to remember that I didn't do anything wrong.


6 people had cathartic therapy:

Single Mom Seeking
March 23, 2009 at 10:38 AM

Wow, I'd be so honored if my chiropractor went out of the way for me! (Truth be told: I've never been to one, but you know what I mean!).

Boundaries are always a fascinating topic, aren't they?

 
Robin
March 23, 2009 at 11:32 AM

I think it's good that this particular patient felt comfortable enough with you, to relay his / her personal feelings on where the boundary should be drawn. So, just drop him/her from the particular personal stuff. I'm used to dentists sending birthday cards, things like that. Perhaps the weekly e-mails, while I think depending upon the content might be enjoyable, for some who aren't really e-mail people, well, they can opt out (or have that be an opt in). As one of their medical specialists, you're trying to look at their total well-being, the whole person. I see your e-mails and appreciation days as an outcome of that "whole person" healing. What you did is not wrong; I agree. This person has a perception of where the boundary should be, so fine, you'll respect that. Life moves along:)

 
dadshouse
March 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM

Just remember, you can't control how someone reacts. They bring their own perspectives and experiences to a given moment, and their perspectives and experiences will differ from yours.

I'd take a cue from the Dalai Lama, and just feel compassion for this patient, and move on.

 
Senorita
March 23, 2009 at 7:34 PM

You do work real hard to go above and beyond, and I imagine this feels like a slap in the face, and I am sorry to read about this.

It's always true that there is always someone that doesn't vibe with you or doesn't appreciate things you do. But it seems like 99.99% of your other patients love it, so you are doing the right thing.

To be honest, I would never complain or tell a doctor he's going too far by sending me a card or calling me on my birthday or holding a party. That would never happen, because he's going above and beyond and it's hard work.

On the other hand, my dentist does this, and while I thank her and keep going to her because she's skilled, it does feel a little weird. It's not really a boundary issue, but it makes me feel bad that if they do all that for me, then I feel awkward going to them about any complaints I may have regarding the dental work or the way I was billed.

Regarding my health, I like it to be strictly business. Plus I also feel like an ass if I keep not showing up to appreciation events or if I don't have time to chat on the phone.

That is just my opinion, and I know I am in the minority. Just trying to give another point of view. But I think most people like it and it's working wonders for your business, so keep on doing it.

 
MJV
March 24, 2009 at 12:26 AM

((HUGS)) It definitely sucks that you feel bad about this and I can empathize. That said, I think it's good that this person was willing to express their feelings on the issue. Maybe an opt-in/out option wouldn't be a bad thing? Some people just feel uncomfortable with certain things.

As someone who is kind of a sick person, I tend to agree with Senorita. While I love a doctor who takes an interest and knows me, it also intimidates me in terms of asking questions, pushing back on certain things, etc. I'd almost rather a hands-off medical professional than a touchy-feely one. But that is just me...

 
Mike
March 24, 2009 at 10:19 AM

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts.

 

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