Processing

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.

It was funny that this was my daily mediation this morning in my mailbox. I know I can be very cut and dry with relationship stuff. Strong emotions are always a workout for me and they can shut me down fast during these heavy duty conversations. So I processed a lot through my dreams last night which is usual for me. Every time I woke up I had to analyze what I was telling myself. The biggest thing I feel is compartmentalized with the Planner. Something that comes up occasionally, but is always tied into her stress. Sleeping in a second bed is a big one that I won't budge on. The others are that she focuses so much on her work that I'm cleaned off the desk and wedged someplace. I know I'm in second place to her business which is funny since she knows that she is the same with me, but doesn't like it.

One of the big things that came up was how I could still be excited to see her after communicating during the day. Being married you the same person day in and day out. If you don't make it exciting it won't last. I'm not quite sure the Planner knows how to do this.

So whenever she calls I'll tell her this, plus I want to know the good stuff since she wants to work on it. She gave me the long list of the bad stuff so their has to be something good in here for her to stay.

There is some double standard here with our businesses which I haven't fully gotten a handle on. A over generalization is my stuff is a problem, but hers is not. I'll have to work on it.