Date Ending

Reading all the blogs that I read, their seems to be a theme of getting out of bad dates. While I have read some creative ones to a few duds. I will share with you here the best one that I was given when I first started dating. It was not invoked, but sent to help out as I made my was in the dating world again. If you would like a copy to print up let me know.

What the fine print says:

THE LEMON LAW MAY BE INVOKED IF, AT ANY POINT DURING THE INITIAL FIVE MINUTES (300 SECONDS) OF A FIRST DATE, EITHER PARTY DEEMS THE UNION HOPELESS AND ELECTS TO ABORT SAID DATE IN THE INTEREST OF TIME AND/OR SELF-RESPECT. RECEIPT OF THIS CARD HEREBY ABSOLVES THE GIVER FROM ANY “HARD FEELINGS” OR “QUESTIONS” FROM THE LEMON LAWYEE RELEVANT TO THE DISCONTINUANCE OF THE DATE, WHICH MAY BE TERMINATED FOR ANY REASON INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: TAWDRY ATTIRE, BREATH, HOMELINESS, MISPLACED/EXCESSIVE BODY HAIR, PUBLIC SCHOOL EDUCATION, BAD CREDIT, NO CREDIT, SUSPICIOUS ODOR(S).

ADDENDA
(I) GIVER MAY WAIVE THE LEMON LAW SHOULD LEMON LAWYEE IMMEDIATELY CONSENT TO A NO-STRINGS ATTACHED “STAND,” DURATION OF WHICH SHALL BE NO LONGER THAN ONE (1) NIGHT.
(II) THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT ARE NON-EXCLUSIVELY TRANSFERABLE, IN DIFFERENCE TO THE EMERGENCE OF THE LEMON LAW AS A “THING.”
(III) IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT OF A SIMULTANEOUS INVOCATION, PARTIES SHALL ENACT ONE (1) “HIGH FIVE,” WITH NEITHER PARTY OFFICIALLY ASSUMING CREDIT FOR THE LEMON LAW ISSUANCE.