A Helping Hand

Chatting with Kitcat last night I said that I would be dropping my car off today for repair and biking into work. She said she would pick me up and I told her she didn't have to drive across town for me. Kitcat said it was only 15 minutes and I know I would do it no problem if the tables were turned. So I agreed and we set up a time that I would call this morning to set it up.

The asking for help thing came up again when I hopped in her jeep. She was like you should have asked, but my answer was the same she gave me a few weeks ago. She completely understood. It's been so long since I've had someone to rely on both in singledom and marriage. I will always say I grew up alone being a latch door kid. Self reliance was a survival skill and it still plays today. I remember when my engine blew a few years ago when I was dating the planner. I was going to bike and bus to work during the height of the summer. She was like you're nuts. Just rent a car. With that the landlord lent me one his trucks and I was set for the week. Not being able to rely on my ex for help when we were married has really reinforced my inability to ask for help in relationships since it was my defining major one in adulthood.

When we got back to my office I asked Kitcat if she wanted treatment. I know she has a history of an old accident with reoccurring pain. So while I worked on her, she shared me with me a lot of marketing information, volunteered contacts, and equipment. While superficially I knew most of what she was talking about, but she really got in depth with it all. I was very touched by it all. In my past relationships I'm the one putting a lot into it, but my return was very low. It was really nice to be given something freely in a relationship. It's one of those, "oh this is how its suppose to happen" realizations. So I just dropped a "thank you" card in the mail to show how much it meant to me.

One of my guest at our business group this morning made a crack about my fast talking. It's my Achilles heel. Years ago I asked all of me closest friends and that was the only problem anyone could come up for me. I've tried to make corrections myself over the years and I'm better than I use to be, but I still have awhile to go. However I know it affects all my relationships business and personal. Just makes it tough when you can't understand what I'm saying. So I made a appointment with my hypnotherapist friend of mine. She asked if I'd like to trade services which I was all over. I know my speech rate is anxiety based and know it will respond well to her treatment. So here's to talking slow.