Getting All Relaxed

Well I had my hypnotherapy session today, and let me tell you I'm the most relaxed I've ever been in my life. Great sex may tie it, but it's sort of different since this had no vigorous physical activity. I'm way more relaxed than any massage I ever had. Being hypnotized was different than I thought it would be. I really thought my mind would be all zen like, but it was hyperactive like a child on crack. I was happy she had informed me of this before we started or I would have been worried. I tell you when she had me visualize all my stress and anxiety draining away I thought I was going to be an empty tub with nothing left inside me. At least now I have a good resource for my stress filled patients.

So I'm feeling pretty good now which is a good thing since it was an anxiety filled morning. I was awoken this morning with the sounds of construction on the house. While my bedroom may be my sanctuary, rough sounds still make me anxious. It's still a old tape from my parents arguing when I went to bed when I was a young child. Hearing stuff at the edges just creates a low level of anxiety that I have a hard time relaxing with. Since I was young I've known that if I awake anxious it will color my whole day. So I've always worked on waking up in a relaxed state.

The other item was this massage therapist looking for a place. I'm crazy I know it. I want one in the office and now that I have one applying I'm anxious about it since I feel like I'm losing control since she wants a few concessions. Mostly she wants the room being spruced up since it doesn't get much use now so I don't do much with it. Talking with Kitcat today about it helped as we talked about different hiring plans. I agreed with her in that they fall under the beauty industry category since they are a flaky bunch. With the information I got and talking about the subjet helped calm me down. One of my bigger problems is that I'm a focuser. In some areas its a good thing and in others its a total liability. Here its a liability since I can already feel myself closing myself off to other possibilities. I quickly go to what's better for them than what's better for me. My classic mistake. So I'm trying not to leave myself hanging if this person doesn't work out.

When Kitcat drove me home last night I asked if she was picking me up in the morning or was I staying at her place. I had been wondering why we weren't seeing each other since she didn't have her son. I got my answer. Kitcat said she can't study most of her subjects when I'm around. I have to admit she does know what will lead us to having sex and can stay focused on how to avoid it when things need to get done. I was very surprised to find that the bar is very low.