It's always interesting when things come together. My daily meditation talked about being attracted to people that have many personal problems. Why? Because I'm a people pleaser and a caretaker. It's how I grew up. I have to admit I've been good with avoiding these people in the past few years. I have to admit it's one of the reasons I keep Asp off the dating list and at times inter place her and my ex in my mind.
What brings all this up you say? Well in texting back and forth with Asp today I told her I was looking to seeing her tonight. She responded that there was nothing worthy of looking forward to seeing her. When I asked her what was wrong since this wasn't the "normal" response she said she didn't know how to respond to my kind words. I've known she's not use to the kind words that I've said in the past, but they've gone over okay. So I'm not quite sure what has happened in the last few days to kick her down this way. I want to know since I'm not signing up to bring her back up. I've gone that route before and it's a losing battle. I'm happy to offer support, but I don't want to do the work. Nor do I want to be stopped from crossing bridges to bigger and better things. So I'm starting to think that I've hit the limitations of this relationship. Time will tell.
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5 people had cathartic therapy:
Yeah, I don't like the sound of this. Your honeymoon period should be longer than this.
I hope that things work out between you two in a healthy way.
As a fellow Sagittarian, I can relate to your genuine caregiver traits and trying to balance that without becoming an enabler. It is also refreshing to hear a man's perspective about the one shot deal at night. As I am now older and the men I date are also older, I never expect more than once a night. The mere fact you are not snoring and drooling on the pillow immediately afterward should be appreciated. But relationships ebb and flow and there are so many outside factors that need to be filtered that makes communication strained, especially in texting.
A friend of mine, in a PhD program now in psychology, just finished a little experiment. She gave 10 women compliments. Each woman in return gave her a list of things wrong with them.
So many women never learn how to accept anything nice said to/about them. We are almost programmed to see ourselves as inadequate. How wonderful for you to see--and TELL HER about--the good you see in her.
However you are right; she must meet you halfway. You are not her savior, and it is wrong of her to depend on you or any other person to bail out her self-esteem. She must choose to improve herself.
Nice post; I love your background colors. Very inviting! Thanks for sharing.
Be well, Mike.
Mama Llama said it best. I totally agree with her.
Mama Llama echoed what my counsellor said to me in our first few sessions. So many of us are able to toss positive comments aside and yet we actively hang on to anything negative.
I am starting to learn to just accept the compliment and say thank you, rather than insulting the person who has just expressed their feeling by denigrating it with my denial.
In the four years that we have been together, Ruf's continuing patience and determination to help me see myself as I really am, rather than as the horrible creature I thought I was, has eventually paid dividends and our relationship has become a mutual apprecation society where we both tell each other how we feel and enjoy it.
It's been a revelation.
If you think she's worth it, keep at it x
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