Wreckage of the Past

I'm still very sad about this weekend's turn of events. Eric even more so. Our conversations are short since he hasn't much to say. I've said this to a few people who contacted me so I should repeat it here since it will come up again. When my ex and I separated and she went back to NY it was agreed that Eric would go with her. Mostly because their was no money left. Later I figured she had syphoned it out over the previous months. I guess while I was still trying to work things out for us she was making plans for us apart. My letting her take him out of state was my giving him up in the eyes of the court and 2 judges. I've lived with that mistake over the past 5 years and events like this sting all the more because of it. As it stands now, when Eric turns 13 he can decide where he would like to live without any court battle.

So with the money I was going to spend on Eric this weekend I did my Christmas shopping for him. I got him the new Wimpy Kid book and the new Lego Indiana Jones DS game. When I schedule our next visit I want to get a backup person from my ex so that this doesn't happen again, although I know it will since I know her.

Since I was free yesterday, Asp invited me to come over and stay by her last night. Her son seems to be getting use to me when I'm there. He didn't know I slept over during the week, but since we slept late this morning he knew today. Asp is a rare sleeping partner. She's very good for snuggling with throughout the night. Not a bed hog or a flailer. She was hoping to get all that she needs to get done today before her trip tomorrow in an attempt of another night together, but it didn't pan out. Part of me is sad that it won't and the other is thinking it's better to still keep processing my feelings about Eric. I will miss having someone special to celebrate my birthday on the day. Hopefully we'll do something when she gets back.